WhitePeopleTwitter

That’s life

That’s life

Reposting a watermarked tweet? Disgusting.

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/900/035/742.png

Fresh tasting coffee

Fresh tasting coffee

That's a nice watermark ya got there

Y’all done messed up.

Y’all done messed up.
Y’all done messed up.

I hope he washed it out thoroughly before tacking that spiget on.

They look like gushers. It’s a joke.

Boxed tide. Classic.

So true

So true

Yar, nevermind the treasure, I'm all about the booty.

One Piece in a nutshell

That is the plot of one piece.

Yeah...i don't think many pirates gave two goosefucks about each other

When Siri allegedly sent a text message without your permission

When Siri allegedly sent a text message without your permission

Not even Siri?

she's dead to me

Siri is just cutting through our BS social norms.

I'd just never talk to anyone again

Asking the real questions

Asking the real questions

In a word? Yes.

Source: Leftist in a family full of Republicans and Blue Dog Democrats.

Yes, I have been the outcast at several gatherings. Like no, just because you're ignorant, doesn't mean I have to lower my standards as well.

Redneck family, gotta love 'em.

You don't HAVE to.

This is why I don't trust my parents

This is why I don't trust my parents

As a father I experienced this feeling and it was like a switch was pulled. It was immediate. But in fact we loved our son even before my wife gave birth, we had been loving him for months before we could actually see him, touch him, hold him. I believe you can love a child unconditionally before a true relationship is forged. It's primal and probably based on biology but it feels pretty fucking real.

Because babies are like crack cocaine. Scientific fact: newborns make your dopamine pathways light up like a Christmas tree. Also oxytocin - it's a hell of drug. That sensation you feel is a million years of biology and evolution assuming direct control.

It's real (you can see it on an MRI). If your concept of love makes what's real seem fake, perhaps it's your concept of love that needs adjusting.

If you spend 9 months making something, you should at least pretend to like it

I agree. Nothing gayer than impregnating a woman and having a child. True fag.

Now the witness will be prosecuted for arson

Now the witness will be prosecuted for arson

This joke is as old as dirt.

I've actually never thought about the age of dirt. To think that the dirt I step on could very well be the same dirt that dinosaurs stepped on as well. Truly mind boggling. Thank you.

And the water you drink was dinosaur piss!

Old joke, first printed in The Reader's Digest in the mid sixties.

Doggo police

Doggo police

And do they start panicking about "appearing suspicious" even though they haven't done anything wrong? 🤔

"Dave! It's the goddamn dogs"

Dog1: be cool; it's the cops.

No

Who wants cookies?

Who wants cookies?

Secretly hide one real, random tide pod in there.

If you don't have fresh Tide Pod, frozen is fine.

Did they put actual Tide in the cookie batter?

Leave a few in a little bag at the apartment community laundry. Revenge for people leaving their underwear in the washer all day.

Try one of these subthreads