While jogging early this morning, a guy assaulted me, and I stabbed him.
Sooooo.... I think in your position I'd probably take this down... Your initial reaction, stabbing him in the leg, you're likely fine but a lot of jurisdictions have a concept of proportional response. You're only allowed, when claiming self defense, to use the a level of force commiserate to that being used against you and only enough to neutralize the threat. And usually it's not about what you "felt" was sufficient but rather would have to pass a "reasonable person" test. When you turned around and stabbed him two more times and then pursued him you may have opened yourself up to some sort of liability, especially if he dies or is severely injured. As an example someone picks a fight with you, maybe throws a punch. You knock them to the ground. You mount them and wail on them causing severe damage. You may end up in just as much or more trouble as they do because you crossed the over the line of self-defense (using only enough force to neutralize the threat). What, exactly, this can mean can vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction but I'm not sure I would leave a post up where I admitted to neutralizing a threat and them became the aggressor from a legal defense point-of-view. Now sure, it sounds like they won't actually find him; however, if they do I suspect his defense lawyer may well insist on charges being pressed against you if you pursue charges against him.
All of that being said: good on ya for defending yourself. Prick has probably done this before and hopefully a couple of stab wounds will make him think twice about doing it again.
Make sure your blade is legal.
Hmmm. I guess I never thought too much about the legality. My thought has always been that in a situation like that, I’d rather come out on top and deal with any legal repercussions, than be injured or traumatized, or dead.
In this case, I suppose I’m lucky that the sentiment of officers who took my report was they were glad I stuck him.
Maybe don't grab women from behind in the dark?
We finally had sex again!
For the past year or so I have had NO sex drive. Dealing with emotional losses and some depression just took it out of me. But for the past week or so I have been starting to feel like I’m finally getting back to normal maybe. Better able to focus at work, etc.
I have felt so bad for my husband, but also for myself because sex is something I have always enjoyed, but this past year was tough.
So this morning, my ever so patient husband is spooning with me, and my dreams turn to the really horny kind (this actually happened yesterday morning too – but I couldn’t wake myself up). So I finally get myself to wake up, and realize we have 30 minutes before I have to get up. So I start “arousing” him and starts to respond, and we did it! We finally had sex again after not having sex for probably a year or so – or maybe once in that time frame, I can’t even remember.
OMG, it made me so happy to finally have those feelings again.
Just wanted to share with someone, and didn’t have anyone else to share with. LOL
You should do it again tonight. Start snowballin' this thing... it'll make you both real happy!
You should really look up what snowballing means in this context.
Thank you for responding! It did feel so good to just want it again. I was literally telling myself in my dream - WAKE UP, WAKE UP, TELL HIM YOU ARE READY!
And I will make sure he knows! He brought me a mid-morning coffee at work today - which was completely unexpected. Kind of felt like it was his way of welcoming me back to our sex life. LOL
"Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot"
Yesterday, I walked out from my husband with the kids and didn't come back.
After he spent the Sunday morning talking down to me and insulting me over the state of our house, because I had invited my friend over after church, and slapped me across the face after I became "too loud" for his liking (again - but this time in front of the kids), I decided something needed to happen.
Then, when I started to vent to my friend after church, she luckily immediately noticed what's going on and almost dragged me to our very capable and empathetic priests (both of whom were there, what a lucky coincidence!), who, after I broke down and told them the entirety of the grim history, told me that I basically needed to get out of there immediately.
So, my wonderful and heroically charitable friend, who had watched my kids (5, 3, 1, and I should probably mention I'm 6months pregnant as well) along with her son and waited for me, only needed a brief information and immediately told me that we were going to he place instead and that I would be on vacation right now.
Both, she and the priest, thought it would be a good idea for me to stay at my in-laws (who know of my husband's craziness and already had offered me all of their help and threatened him to never ever treat me like , well, he does now), but they're not home right now and, again, my friend totally floored me by offering to stay at her place as long as I liked, despite it being a single flat for only her and her son.
She also took over the task of very basic communication with my husband who has been spamming us ever since we didn't came home as expected.
Rationally I know that I did the right thing (and should have been doing it way earlier), but I'm so sad. I'm standing in front of nothingness. Well, through massive coincidence, a little nice flat is just becoming free in our circle of friends, and basically I also have enough means to live on my own without problems.
But still I'm sad and bitter about all of it. Not hopeless, though, in fact I'm calm and confident, despite the suckiness of the whole situation.
Please talk me out of missing the cozy nice homely moments already.
No, you are not standing in front of nothingness. You are standing in front of your own future, your own decisions, your own right to a safe and happy life. You are standing in front of an entire world of dramatically expanding possibilities that you and only you create.
This is not an 'empty trash can', its a clean, fresh, white canvas and you, and only you are the artist of your future.
As someone who was in your children's position in this situation I can also testify that your actions have just empowered them to a future without violence and abuse. It will by Your Footsteps that they follow in life because you just taught them that they are valuable in themselves and that no one has the right nor any justification for trying to control their lives.
And, since I can't say it to my parent, I say it to you ... "Thank you for taking me with you!. Thank you for saving me from a life so terrible that you, the adult, had to escape! Thank you for giving me a life in which I was/am in control of my destiny. Thank you from your 5, 3, 1, and one in the oven !!!!"
I was also that child but my mom didn’t have your courage and never left. I watched her get slapped around for years growing up and I still resent her for it to this day. Leaving is something you need to do for you, but also think of the kiddos. One day, when you explain this to them, they will thank you, I promise.
Imagine what nice, cozy, homely moments you're going to have with your kids in your new flat, where you can all be together without fear of your POS husband coming in and hitting you. Imagine how cozy that will feel to them. And imagine how secure your new baby will feel in life, having never seen his mother brutalized by his father.
Well done! Stay strong now. No one can be bad 100 percent of the time, so yes, there would have been good moments. But it's not worth the bad. You wouldn't want a chocolate cookie if some of it was molding. (Yeh, I found the comparison lame too, but I'm not very creative :P)
Mourn the loss of the good times, but once done crying over that, remind yourself of all the things that were bad, and build that iron will to not let you or your kids be subject to that.
I have family where I'm seeing the little ones being ruined, day by day. They are not being abused directly. But the son is taking after his father, being an inconsiderate little shit that has no respect for anyone, and the girl is learning that this is normal from males, and I would not be surprised at all if she ends up in an abusive relationship at some point. She takes after her mother. Naive, kind hearted, forgiving.
Focus on not letting this happen to your chidren.
Best of luck!
edit: I'd like to add that I'm not calling the son a little shit. It's a reflection of his father. He is innocent in the sense that he knows no better. He's his father 2.0. If he had a male role model in his life that acted respectfully, he'd probably have his little issues here and there like any young boy, but he'd know what's what, and eventually be fine. But he's exactly like his father. Talks back, calls his mother names. It's a carbon copy. Breaks my heart.
I had an abortion and my fiance is pressuring me for sex before I'm ready
I'll try to make this short. My fiance & I live together, been dating 3 years. We are both 30s ish. I have a job I love, but recently have decided id like to move on from. We live in a college town. Abouta year and a half ago I made the decision to finish my BS in engineering (one more semester left). My first semester back was hard, especially working 30 hours a week, but I was determined. I take birth control pill form. SO hates his job and decided to pursue a second BS. A month into my second semester of school I get preggo. I'm so upset. I have made changes in my life to make it better (go to school) and now this. I tell fiance and that I don't want to keep it. He is a little disappointed, but agrees we both aren't ready yet (this happened before we got engaged). The nearest clinic is 1.5 hrs away. I do the entire process by myself. He doesn't ride with me, he doesn't sit in the wai ting room with me.he doesn't pick up any Rxs. He doesn't even stay home the night I took the pills. In fact, his friends came to the house when I had planned to take them. That whole situation completed and I am okay from it. However, I feel like I went through everything alone. He didn't even Google what I had to do. He has no idea except the Information I give him. They tell you not to have sex for so many weeks after. After like 2 weeks, I'm still bleeding a crap ton and he's moping around the house because I won't have sex with him. He's not saying it but I feel like he thinks I should at least blow him or something. I tell him it's health reasons and they say not to. But honestly, I'm irritated that he's even being this way. After time goes by, we eventually have sex again. I had started back in the pill, but didn't tell SO. He doesn't even pull out. We never talked about why we ended up in this situation, what we can do to avoid it again, if we should start using condoms with the pill, why I don't want to have a kid right now, when we would both be okay with having kids, etc. I feel completely disrespected in the fact that he hasn't tried to talk to me about any of this. Whenever he came inside me I said "what the fuck!?" And he's like "oh, I'm sorry, do you want me to get you plan B?" No, MF, you take plan B! Do you even know how bad it sucks to take that stuff? Much less get an abortion? By myself???
Since all of this has happened I can't bring myself to have sex with him. I feel violated and that he doesn't even know it. He brings up that we don't have sex and he doesn't feel attractive. He makes it about him when it's about me. I don't want to have sex with someone who can't consider someone else. and then there's the fact of if I went through that alone, how would an actual pregnancy have gone? I want to tell everyone in the world the thoughts I'm having and why I'm angry but I don't want everyone to know my situation. We have sex like maybe a few times in a month. He doesn't make me feel sexy because I immediately get anxiety about feeling preggo. When he mentions it, I say, "can you maybe think of the reason why I might be scared to do it?" And he pretty much shuts up. So instead of talking and yes, arguing, the conversion stops there.
Enough time has gone by that I am ok with leaving the relationship. I want him to understand me and he doesn't. Plain and simple. He doesn't want to or can't idk. I feel very trapped. I don't really have money to move right now, although it probably won't take, me long to save.... this semester I had to work a lot less and focus on school, but it's almost over. Any encouraging word would help, I feel like I know what I need to do I just need some help.
We never talked about why we ended up in this situation, what we can do to avoid it again, if we should start using condoms with the pill, why I don't want to have a kid right now, when we would both be okay with having kids, etc. I feel completely disrespected in the fact that he hasn't tried to talk to me about any of this.
Have you tried to talk to him about it? Sometimes you have to take the 1st step. You´re both bottling up feelings, he is acting immature as hell and you´re getting each and everytime more hurt.
I want him to understand me and he doesn't.
Then have a conversation. You´re both avoiding the subject, dealing with it in the way that is more convenient for the moment. It´s time to adress the issue, with actual words.
Moments like this are a test to the couple´s dynamics. You dont seem to have a supportive one.
That sounds like a truly challenging and difficult time. As a nurse in a women's hospital I have seen hundreds of women go through what we call medical management (through reproductive loss be it by choice or not, the pregnancy has ended) and it can be traumatic, terrifying, and even life threatening situation. It can make you nauseous, vomit, it can be painful and there can be complications such as bleeding, infection, and needing surgery (by the way have you stopped bleeding now?).
The trauma is generally unrecognised and can affect many aspects of your life. Certain things, like intercourse or intimacy, can trigger feelings of fear and anxiety. Even in every day life some women experience a loss of joy of living in general. This can be compounded if the woman has difficulty making the decision and feels isolated.
I recognise you're going through a difficult time and really encourage you to see a counsellor and talk to close friends or family you trust. When you work through what you're feeling I think it will be easier to make a decision about your relationship.
I have seen many partners, some supportive and some not at all. Some men are just clueless. I remember a woman's partner just sitting there on his phone as she was bawling her eyes out on the bed almost having a panic attack. I was consoling her and finally looked at him as he wasn't taking my hints and said "hug her, get on the bed and hold her". He did and she settled but I couldn't help but feel that more than the loss she wanted her partner to step up and show what kind of man he would be for the rest of their lives, and she was disappointed.
Then I've seen other men who are literally fluffing pillows, and take on role of nurse themselves, inform themselves of the process, ask questions about implications including penetration, length of time between pregnancies, normal and abnormal signs. You can see in these situations the woman is allowed to take on the sick role and is comforted and empowered to speak about how she is feeling.
Healing takes time. Sorry for the essay, this is a passion of mine.
Your life will move forward with out him and you wont need him in the end. Things will be ok for you. You need to take care of yourself first before his sexual wants. Thank God he showed his true colors before marriage.
Idk why I can't edit, but I have tried talking to him about these issues. I'm not just festering over here. But the conservation go nowhere. He either agrees with me or doesn't really have a response. When I talk to him, I feel like I'm leading him in a one way conversation instead of a dynamic dialogue-- Which is fine sometimes, but not in important situations Like this one. I tell him I feel better using a second bc and he's like "ok" that's it... there's a million ways that conversation could go and you're going to say "ok" ? And leave it at that....?? This situastion just made me give up on communication I think. But believe me, I have tried. Different ways. Many times. It's like he just wants me to walk up and say "hey, we are going to start doing [this]. Hetes a list of supplies you'll need and things you need to say to me. Oh and here's your opinion on it too"
Conversation overheard in ladies toilets:
Sarah: I just don’t know why he keeps doing this to me Natalie... Natalie: Aw Sarah, don't get upset! Sarah: But he keeps taking to her...(begins to cry). Natalie: Don't you dare cry Sarah! You have MAC foundation on!!!
I spent two hours doing my sister's makeup as beetlejuice for Halloween. She told me later that she almost ended up crying, but then remembered she didn't want to ruin her makeup.
Not that she was worried about upsetting me, she just loved it that much!
Sarah obviously doesn't know how to stop him from doing it. And anyway, he is responsible for his own actions, not Sarah.
I think I just cringed myself into a new dimension
Nothing helps Sarah unless she helps herself.
I’m not entirely sure this is the place to post this but I wasn’t confident in any other sub,
I am a bisexual woman with a man’s body. As far back as I can remember I have felt like a woman, I like feminine things I was always drawn towards women’s clothes, I get along better with women, it has never felt right having a dick between my legs. (My mom was supposed to have a daughter but she miscarried 3 years before I was conceived, though she has never treated me like a girl so idk if this is even relevant). My entire life has felt like I’ve been in hiding. But not out of guilt but just waiting to be who I really am, my parents aren’t the best people, my step dad is kind of close minded and bigoted but also willing to accept things, I came out as bisexual to them and there were no repercussions which was surprising. The point of this is to, for the first time in my life, vocalize this feeling. And omg it feels so real, feeling like who I really am, being able to say it with out that sour feeling in my gut, thinking that I’m going to be shunned for being myself. If this post is allowed then thank you so much for facilitating a place where I can really feel like myself. If this is not allowed, please be kind and I for me of where I can post this. Also if not then I apologize for any inconvenience.
Edit: Ok, wow, the support here is amazing. I kind of feel bad cause I was a little drunk when I posted this and i realize that it’s kind of a mess as far as spelling/grammatical errors and train of thought, going to fix some of it and try to reply to you lovely people.
I know this is scary but you are being very brave. You go, girl. Just know that even if your family is uncool about this that there are people out there who will accept you being your true self.
You’re the first person to ever acknowledge me as I view myself. Trying to refrain from crying out of sheer joy, thank you so much for your kindness, I really can’t express how great full I am for you right now seeing as you’re giving me an experience I’ve never felt before.
Of course it's allowed, all girls allowed :)
I'm so glad you could open up to them a little. And that they reacted well. I hope it's a sign that they will be understanding when and if you decide to open up to them about the "real" you.
You are very loved! Hugs _^
Professor is forcing us to write about personal sexual harassment experiences for an assignment
My professor (not for a sexuality or women's/gender study class) wants us to write about 6 difference experiences where we have committed or been the victim of sexual harassment. She says that not doing this assignment will cause us to receive a zero for the homework. I'm planning on talking to the dean about this. What points and issues should I bring up in the meeting with the dean about why this shouldn't be allowed? This professor has been a bully throughout the semester and this is the last straw.
Write six different stories about how this assignment is harassment.
This just seems strange and unprofessional. If you are a victim of sexual harassment, it's going to cost you a lot, emotionally, to write about even just one incident, let alone six. It's really disrespectful to make a student go through that just as a rhetorical exercise or something. It sounds like the professor needs to be counseled on having better judgment as to appropriate tone for the subject matter.
Just an idea: if it is hard to pin down exactly why this is inappropriate, perhaps you could frame the meeting with the dean in the form of you asking questions. For example: is this a common exercise assigned within the department? How can it be justified? Has the professor had issues around bullying in the past? Basically, some way to put the responsibility on the dean to justify this approach might be more helpful than having to design a formal complaint.
That's absolutely ridiculous and so fucking not okay. Get as much as you can in writing now. Go to more than the dean, try title nine, and depending on the school there's likely other offices to go to. If you know an RA I'd ask them since as a former RA they are introduced to more campus resources than any other student group
Even if it was gender studies, no one should ever be forced to tell their stories, especially not for fear of a bad grade.
It's almost like healthcare shouldn't be tied to profits?
The thing that bugs me is how much of the reduction seems to be the result of simply not preforming unnecessary c-sections. It makes me wonder how many un-necessary medical procedures are being performed generally, and whether or not the doctors performing them truly understand how harmful medications and surgeries and tests can be when they are not needed.
Only in the legal/tax code sense. I have worked at both a private practice and a nationally known medical institution. The big bad hospital was more concerned with the bottom line than they were with the patients. And to see my department turn away countless cancer patients who were underinsured only to look to our shiny new building covered in marble... well it was the reason I left healthcare.
How can employer insurance not cover maternity? How is that something that any Americans would even consider?
Its weird that religion and irrational perspective are the reason why we, as women, have no rights to our body. Even weirder that these religious "saints" see nothing wrong with forcing other women to go through a long, unwanted pregnancy, or worse, they dont care if a woman dies trying to rid herself of a burdening clump of cells that said woman doesnt want for whatever reason thats no ones business in the first place!
I just dont understand how we, the pro-choice, are seen as monsters while the opposition laugh as a woman suffers.
Edit: RIP inbox. I enjoyed reading all of your opinions, including the insulting ones. Im going to get back to reading my book, have a good night all!
Just curious, if women should be able to end a pregnancy "with dignity," shouldn't people also be able to end their lives with dignity? Not that I think women shouldn't be able to get abortions, I just never noticed the similarity between the arguments until I read this article and am wondering what other people think.
I also don’t understand forcing people to commit suicide in horrific ways when we have such great advancements.
A close friend of mine is literally withering away, breaking bones and dying slowly. Religious people would rather they suffer to death than do what they want with their own lives.
I don’t get it.
Maybe start by avoiding the term "abortion pill". Which is a false statement and has an immediate negative response from half the population. But I hope this happens.
I think I may have orgasmed during a physics test
Super strange, I know.
I've known for a long time that when I am taking a really difficult test and I am running out of time on it, all the blood in my body rushes to my vagina and I get an intense lady boner. I've never had as intense boners as I do during really hard tests.
This physics test may have been the most difficult thing I've ever taken. I only had like 10 minutes left and still half the test to do, and i felt the pressure build up in my vagina really intensely. It kept on building and building until my vagina was pulsating and it felt like it was opening and closing and opening and closing for a good 10-15 seconds.
Was this an orgasm?? I'm a teenager and have never managed to orgasm before. I know that other women describe orgasms as the same pulsating feeling but I never experienced any "wave" or sudden relief after all of the buildup.
As a 20 year old guy who has jerked off literally at least a thousand times, it's kind of mind blowing to hear about women who go so long without ever experiencing an orgasm.
If no pleasure, it could be pre-orgasmic contractions. If pleasure followed with relief or tiredness, sounds an awful lot like orgasm!
You like physics more than I do!
All these gals saying 'if you had to ask, it probably wasn't' and here I am at 26 years old, not knowing if I have ever had an orgasm or not. .__.
EDIT: Thanks for all the responses and advice. I will continue to double-click my mouse and report back if anything happens.