Showerthoughts

Are there fat turtles?

Are there fat turtles?

No, they can eat all the pizza they want.

Obesity in turtles is actually one of the biggest problems when having them as pets. It's very easy to overfeed them and then their organs get pressured since there's limited room in their shells, and they can end up dying.

Yes, they evolve into a Blastoise.

Iirc they have similar fat to frogs. They don't have fat on the outside like humans and other mammals do, but instead they store it inside their bodies in little chains

If you jerk to yourself naked in a mirror on your 18th birthday, at midnight the photons from your 17 yr old body will hit your 18 yr old eyes and you will have committed a crime

If you jerk to yourself naked in a mirror on your 18th birthday, at midnight the photons from your 17 yr old body will hit your 18 yr old eyes and you will have committed a crime

How high are you

*Hi how are you

If you are getting that technical, then you should know that most people are not born at midnight.

Edit: ok so even if legally your age changes at midnight, what about the age of consent? You clearly set out to do this at 17 therefore consenting to let your adult self fap to your underage reflection.

The law doesn't recognize time of birth, but date.

If your parachute doesn't open, you've the rest of your life to fix it

If your parachute doesn't open, you've the rest of your life to fix it

Is that why you abbreviated YOU and HAVE, because there's n'time t'spare?

Y'all'd've made this a post

If my parachute doesn't open, I'm never trying skydiving again!

People have survived chutes not opening. It's not pretty, but they survive.

edit - it's an article, it's fine to open, no graphic material

It’s said that every person has 7 doppelgängers in the world. Do identical twins have 14?

It’s said that every person has 7 doppelgängers in the world. Do identical twins have 14?

Or do they only have 6, because the other twin counts as 1? 🤔

hits blunt

Only if the other 6 also have twins...

Three tokes ahead of you, madam

People shouldn’t congratulate you on your birthday, but in fact your mom cause she did all the hard work that day.

People shouldn’t congratulate you on your birthday, but in fact your mom cause she did all the hard work that day.

You sound like my mom.

That’s what Mother’s Day is for.

birthday is to congratulate you on stepping closer to death.

Norwegians have this custom. They congratulate the parent and grandparents of the Birthday person. Supposedly, from when women would die during child birth. Mothers were congratulated for surviving and subsequently every following year.

What if the study that proved listening to Mozart when studying for a test gives you better results is just a social experiment and it all just being the placebo effect.

What if the study that proved listening to Mozart when studying for a test gives you better results is just a social experiment and it all just being the placebo effect.

When I was in primary school we were 'volunteered' to take part in an experiment.

I would have been 10 and it was 1995.

All the kids in our year where jumbled up and placed into different rooms in groups. These groups where made up of kids from different backgrounds, had diffrent level of learning, diffrent interests (Lego, football, etc).

Each group was played a different type of music. From classical, pop, rock, etc.

My group was played 'Country House' by Blur before completing a test.

Those groups who were played the music THEY had an interest in while they 'studied' got the higher scores.

I've liked Blur ever since.

Thanks for your story! Sounds pretty interesting l, would like to try that sometime too.

I’m a 15 year old from a non English speaking country, can you explain to me what I did that made you comment? I don’t bother you commenting I just wanna learn :)

I was just being ignorant. I have to read emails all day and I find people are simply getting worse at composing written language. As someone from a non English speaking country, you’re doing awesome.

There should be a blooper real when you die

There should be a blooper real when you die

And a highlight reel

There's an interesting Robin Williams movie called The Final Cut about this

And it should be constantly paired with the Curb theme.

I don't know if I could bear to watch my blooper reel.

It’s ironic that as children, we’re told that jokes about sex or genitals are for adults only but once we become adults, these jokes are considered childish and immature.

It’s ironic that as children, we’re told that jokes about sex or genitals are for adults only but once we become adults, these jokes are considered childish and immature.

As someone with a couple young children, I can attest to the fact that children make genital jokes all the damn time. Adults just aren't supposed to think they're funny regardless of who's making them.

And by "adults" I mean "adults in the presence of about 50% of women". Guys always love a good dick joke, they just can't always admit it.

I'm going on thirty and every single one of my dude friends and I still think farting and drawing dicks on things is hilarious.

I'm absolutely convinced that i'm never going to fully "grow up" in that aspect.

Incidentally, does anyone cringe somewhat from hearing the word “genitals”? Why does every word related to our sexual body parts have to sound like a gross insect or some sea creature? Clitoris. Vulva. Labia. Penis. Scrotum. Glans. Frenulum. Urethra. Yuck.

its a dutch joke where the punchline is a pun that does not work in english but I'll try to give some insight

everyone in some [elementary school class] has to make a presentation about a beetle(the word for beetle in dutch is "kever" or "torr") on the day of the presentation kid A goes well this is a leaf beetle it eats leafs kid B goes this is a wood beetle it eats and lives in the wood of dead trees kid c goes this is a vibratorr and my sister said that it eats through batteries

If a man is named Richard, all of his selfies are Dick pics.

If a man is named Richard, all of his selfies are Dick pics.

Richard checking in. Sometimes I get called Dick. Fml

There was a fad back in "the day" to use rhyming nick names. Richard was shortened to Rick, which was rhymed as Dick. Other common ones you'll see are Robert to Rob to Bob, and William to Will to Bill.

Even when they don’t know your name?

Never understood that nickname. Why not just Rich? And why is Jimmy a nickname for James? They have the same number of letters/syllables.

"OK, Google" is a play on the Radiohead album, "OK, Computer"

"OK, Google" is a play on the Radiohead album, "OK, Computer"

But 'OK computer' is a quote from Zaphod in Hitchhiker's Guide.

Ok, no

You can use Computer as a wake word for Alexa, too

Ok goo goo

Try one of these subthreads