If I see someone walking the street alone at night, I automatically assume they're up to something shady. If I see that same person walking with a dog, I automatically assume they're more trustworthy than an average person.
That's why I always bring my dog when I'm up to something shady.
You know you're getting old when you agree with the antagonist in teen movies. The principal in "Ferris Bueller" was just trying to make sure a troubled teen got an education, and he's the bad guy?
The principal in Ferris Bueller did go to some pretty extreme, and some would say inappropriate, lengths however.
It would be really annoying if gravity pulled with a slight angle instead of straight down.
The earth would spin faster and faster. Days would get shorter and shorter, until some sort of equilibrium were reached where it would feel like gravity was pulling down. Or. It would continue accelerating forever coming asymptotically closer to the speed of light causing time to stand relatively still.
When i heard that 50% of the people have an IQ below average, i was surprised. Since i needed 1 min to understand that this is simple logic and applies to every statement, i feel like i am one of them.
you seem to confuse median and mean (which is usually what average refers to)
so yea, that's another clue that you may be in the bottom half.
People who press "Camera" when changing a profile picture must be pretty damn confident
I usually press "camera" optimistically, then it's like WOAH NELLY! Abort! Abort! (inb4 "That's what your mom should've done")
Whenever I see another car pulled over by the police I always feel like a gazelle watching another gazelle get mauled by a lion
Better you than me!
Relationships are just two people constantly asking each other what they want to eat, until one of them dies
That's true except for the fact that it's completely bullshit.
My dog's memory lives on through my login passwords.
Edit: thanks for the gold, kind stranger! Great, My most popular post is the most dangerous to my login security.
His name was Password.... Oh Passy, I'll never forget you :'(
Eating zero cookies is easy. Eating many cookies is really easy. But eating a single cookie is hard as fuck.
I eat a single cookie all the time.
Usually right after I ate a single cookie.
My parents are slightly more closely related to chimps than I am.
Well that would certainly account for the excessive hair around your mom's nipples.