ScottishPeopleTwitter

shag ma arse

shag ma arse

I'm fairly sure madhir chod means like motherfucker or something?

Yeah, my Indian pals told me it was "Good day" as a laugh. I greeted a female Indian co-worker with it.

In Spanish they don’t say “I love you.” They say “te amo,” which literally translates to “I love you.”

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Luckily, she only spoke English and Navajo.

For all your tomato and grape growing needs

For all your tomato and grape growing needs

This is honestly just someone advertising their shit

Because Polock is in Glasgow is in Scotland I guess, and its funny because someone is clearly selling a weed growing tent as a "tomato/grape" growing tent, its mildly amusing, but other than the fact its posted by someone in Pollock, it doesn't really fit the sub

I Could have worded that better it's not me selling it I just seen it online and thought it was funny :)

Aw aye that famous Pollok in Indiana, ya fuckin fanny.

That’s no too good

That’s no too good

Why'd mickey leave minnie?

She was fucking goofy.

What's the difference between Frank Sinatra and Walt Disney

Frank sings Walt Disney

Il get my coat

Why dae elephants hiv big ears?

Coz Noddy wouldny pay the ransom.

nobs n shite

nobs n shite

Yeah that's exactly what we do

If you haven’t helicopter’d yer nob, are you really a boy?

Your no special cause you bleed oot yer minge

I doubt we'll ever really know. No male is strong enough to resist the urge.

Canny trust they East Kilbride yins

Canny trust they East Kilbride yins

Ah Scotland, I love you

I feel like in the US golf is taken up by a different demographic.

I canny believe you've done this

It would translate as beat them up. To do so would be givin' someone a doin'.

A more unpopular opinion

A more unpopular opinion

Brings back memories of childhood.

You're supposed to mix it with whatever the fuck you want

Reminds me of my youth in Russia.

JD (or W&M) and coke is a staple drink on a night out ya soggy cabbage.

Dexter the dug

Dexter the dug

"canny speak yit" One day, one day...

Space slice has got to be the greatest insult of all time

"Space" = dim-witted, head in the clouds.

"Slice" = gash, hatchet wound.

This subreddit is more entertaining than later Irvine Welsh novels.

The Scottish have the most original and devastating of insults. The way they can join completely inoffensive words together to form highly cutting yet witty and thought provoking put-downs is almost poetic.

Space slice.

Pure hate a patch

Pure hate a patch

Patches?

Ignores.

To patch someone is to ignore/avoid them. Basically the Scottish version of ghosting.

I’ve never heard this one. And I’m scottish. Everyone I know says ghosted. Maybe I’m not down with the kids... (and I’m not even that old!)

ID Badger

ID Badger

ya badger

This is my new favorite insult.

shut up ya badger

Being a badger isn't necessarily a bad thing. The honey badger is badass and doesn't give a damn

Good volunteer content transcriber

Stating the obvious

Stating the obvious

"Do the other thing" is safer because you might not know if the door needs pulling or pushing when behind him and not friends yet with door.

Oldie but a goodie

What if all the door needs is a friend?

I always go for the lean in to pulling method

Try one of these subthreads