ScottishPeopleTwitter

Dinnae ken aboot you.

Dinnae ken aboot you.

Murderer

Look at the size of the lips

Buckle up buckaroos

stellar contribution, brochacho

On the aux

On the aux

Got stuck on an 8 hour road trip with one of these people. I was about to lose it

1. Linkin Park - Crawling.mp3 2. Taylor Swift - The Last Time.mp3 3. Teach Yourself - Japanese Conversation - 13.mp3

Yeah, it's especially bad when they only have audio books on their phone too.

You're everything wrong with listening to music.

Poor bairn

Poor bairn
See how he does against Olivia Wilde's kid. 

https://i.imgur.com/XkjFLpY.jpg

See how he does against Olivia Wilde's kid.

Bairn means child

That baby is actually huge it's just a really bad angle.

What's a bairn? From context I assume it is saying Poor baby doesn't stand a chance

Advertisement

gees a minute

gees a minute

and when you go down and they are like "shouted on you like 4 times" fuckin dribblers man

Then yer dinner's no even on the fucking table.

Aye. "Get yer brother and set the table." Cheek

Christ, my mum was a complete cunt for this.

My bedroom used to be right above the kitchen. The kitchen was also where my dogs pen/bed was hence where all his toys were, so she'd shout up and take one the dugs tennis balls and fucking fling it at the roof as hard as she could, used to fucking shite myself every bloody night.

Well how could you?

Well how could you?

Cunt

What's the Scottish version of "bruh"

Do crabs think fish are flying?

yuh fockan prlick

english bastards

english bastards

"This song starts vaguely intelligible then descends into Gaelic gibberish"

OH THE MOUNTAINS OVER HERE, AND THE RIVERS OVER THERE

Irish songs are a lot like that, but add "Me Mammy Is Doing A Chore With Me Sister" and "I Don't Have A Lot But At Least I'm Not English"

AND THAT FUCKING CASTLE OF TORIES

Shite Kites

Shite Kites

"this is deep"

it's the most shallow trite garbage i've ever seen

I spent way too long thinking that the second picture was some new small kite..

"av woke up greyer than fag ash"

We didn't fly kites in 1990 either.

She's the boss!

She's the boss!

Still have no idea what would happen when she got to 3. Never had the guts to find out

No one still alive does.

I've worked for a lotta men in my life, but I've only ever had one boss.

No matter how old you are, that phrase will turn your blood into ice.

Le Patteaur Qualité

Le Patteaur Qualité

https://twitter.com/italiancomments may qualify here

That guy does my nut in on twitter. So many folk i follow retweet him just because he's local, he just rips off folk's patter constantly. Had about one funny tweet and now he thinks he the dug's.

PASTA WAS BORN TO BE COOKED IN BOILING SALTED WATER DAMMIT

Nice patter mate...

Much adough about muffin

Much adough about muffin

"Translate from French" lol

"Or am I wrong" I think

Haha. Didn't understand this until I read it out loud in a Scottish accent.

I still don't get it

Try one of these subthreads