ScottishPeopleTwitter

A could go way some priority parking

A could go way some priority parking

7/8. We don't mix decimals and fractions, thank you.

Limbs - 3/4 got me

Not just any parking...Marks and Spencer parking

Technically 3.5/4

shoe bacon

shoe bacon

Reformed vegetarian here: faking bacon is the hardest thing. Most store bought versions are totally bunko.

If you're vegetarian and want a decent substitute, try this: Slice tofu really thin. Fry until crispy. Dip in a mix of soy sauce and liquid smoke. Eat. Frying it first pushes the water out, and it soaks up the soy smoke liquid better. It's not the real thing, but pigs didn't die, so there's that.

It's a fake meat product. Most of their stuff is really good but it's pretty hard to make vegetarian bacon

What is quorn?

Similar recipe to yours: Extra firm tofu, drained, cut thin Soak it in soy sauce, liquid smoke, maple syrup (tbsp each) onion powder (tsp) and nutritional yeast (tbsp). Then bake it for 15-20 minutes. It's great!

Pablo Tescobar

Pablo Tescobar

Don't. Put. The. Punchline. In. The. Title.

Shitle.

Fuck ,this is the best example of the punchline in the title ruination. What a cock up and I feel robbed of some real fresh higland humor.

With content this gold, it's always a shame when it's got the punchline as the title.

Wit a dick

Wit a dick

It's people like that,that make life worth living.

Aye, and some people also still wind their windows up and down. It's all part of the fun of not being able to afford a newer model.

I hope he blamed his Mrs for it.

Yea, fuck him fur no doin that

Foxtrot Sierra

Foxtrot Sierra

Underrated title

I'm thinking her name is Gannon.

Wait so her real name is "Mrs G-Cannon"???

Maybe G is her first initial?

The Bold Franco at it again

The Bold Franco at it again

Srsly scribbling his last name out??

Sub rules mate. I got a lifetime ban for it and had to appeal it, so I'm taking no chances. Plus I'm a mod so I've got to set an example.

Edit: Ya fandan

Every cunt kens that's Frankie Abscess

Fair enough suppose everyone knows it's Frankie Dettori anyway

A homeless guys shite curtains

A homeless guys shite curtains

Why is nobody pointing out that the title of this post makes absolutely no sense at all, and even misses the point of what was posted? It's like OP didn't even read what he posted

I had hoped that /sub/scottishpeopletwitter was a safe space away from the ugly sisters

Shite title

Following Celtic getting beat in the Champions League by a team who have a team of players worth some Β£700m

Bentydick Cummypatch

Bentydick Cummypatch

Wimbledon Tennismatch

British Columbia

Burlington Coatfactory

Bombadil Curdlesnoot?

Oan the Buses..

Oan the Buses..

Am no a grass

He was being a fanny

What did he do to get called a fanny though? I must know.

Reference for the uninitiated

Baiting out a homophobe, the Scot way

Baiting out a homophobe, the Scot way

"I am not homophobic, you faggot" Hmmm

I'm not a HOMOPHOBIC

YOU

ARE

A

FAGGOT

Aye right, seems legit.

Not sure if he meant to say "cory" but hey it still works

There's research that shows starting a statement with, "I'm not X, but..." actually makes people less likely to listen because they've already decided you're X.

Try one of these subthreads