[Image] | Only You Can Change Your life

[Image] | Only You Can Change Your life

Bothers me, a lot, that they didn't just move "No" down to the next line.

A drunk driver would beg to differ

I would argue that everyone you meet changes your life in one way or another

Only I can change my life No one can do it for me *(even) Carol Burnett

[Image] Fake it 'til you make it.

[Image] Fake it 'til you make it.

'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?' 'That is the only time a man can be brave'

If a guy looked at me like Dave looks in that picture and said that to me I’d be terrified.

-steve buscemi

TIL he did 9/11

[Image] Would it help?

[Image] Would it help?

It took me a long time to realize that unless the thing I fear is on my doorstep in that moment, my fear can't be trusted.

Another important thing to consider is the stress response from worrying is only useful in those acute moments of crisis. Otherwise, you're wasting much needed nutrients and hormones. Take a moment to evaluate your actual situation and recenter.

I loved that line. Great movie as well. The Russian spy called him “the standing man” or something of that sort

Excellent point but it's so much easier said than done. Now I need to worry that I worry for no good reason...

Bridge of Spies

[Image] There are 2 ways to look at life.

[Image] There are 2 ways to look at life.

My biggest realisation in the last few years is hat no one remembers my screw ups, at all. No one cares about your mistakes, at all.

So why not just do it, there's nothing to lose and no consequences anyways (other than a loss of pride that's just in my head.)

The actual reason I got over my depression. Just woke up one day with a completely different outlook on life.

True that. Everyone is busy with their lives and if someone is too focused on your mistakes then it's either they really care about you, envy you or probably just doesn't have a life.

Some mistakes definitely have lasting consequences and the wrong mistake could cost you things you might not be willing to lose. People don't overlook everything, so give at least half a shit I'd say.

[Story] After ~8 years of drinking daily, today marks 1 month for me without a drink. I almost made a throwaway account for this, but it deserves my real account so others can see that everyone has struggles. If I can do it, you can do it. The first week is the toughest, but believe me it's doable.

[Story] After ~8 years of drinking daily, today marks 1 month for me without a drink. I almost made a throwaway account for this, but it deserves my real account so others can see that everyone has struggles. If I can do it, you can do it. The first week is the toughest, but believe me it's doable.

Keep at it. I did it 5 years ago, never looked back.

I'm from another country, another culture - we couldn't be further and less similar. Though I don't know you, I'm proud of you.

Better sleep, more energy, better mood, weight loss, lower blood pressure, and probably some others I'm forgetting.

Edit: As someone else mentioned, far more mental clarity.

Thanks so much!

[Image]Be assertive. Say No. Express Yourself.

[Image]Be assertive. Say No. Express Yourself.

He who cannot obey himself shall be commanded. That is the nature of all living creatures.


Learning to say no was the most powerful thing I've ever experienced. It's very freeing.


I have the strength just not the finances to make life obey me.

[Image] You Might Miss the Easy Solution

[Image] You Might Miss the Easy Solution

I don't think the cat in the image has a problem. Cats like to sit in boxes.

And they love going in there carry box, but only if you're not bloody trying to put them in it

Sometimes the problem is actually just that you're stupid.

How tf can you find a solution if you don't understand the problem correctly. 🤔🤔

[image] try to remember those who want to see you succeed

[image] try to remember those who want to see you succeed

OP you're so lucky to have such a supportive and awesome grandpa.

I grew up in a very poor family and my parents basically wanted me to get a job ASAP. My grandma was always the one encouraging me to never settle for less, to work but to study until I could be where I wanted to be. She died before I graduated but I know she'd be so proud. I was the second one in the family to finish high school and the first to finish a university degree in the family.

Wow, this made me want to call my Grandpa. Congrats on your exam.

Whoever pushed you to succeed, family or not, remember them.

My nana (not biological. I’m an orphan), sacrificed a lot so I could have a good education. Everyone said she should just let me work odd jobs and get by but she didn’t want that for me. We live in a small old storage Building just out of town. She would wake up early. Gather the few dozen eggs and whatever veggies growing that season in our tiny farm. Walk a few miles into town. Sell the goods just outside the farmers market (free of rent). The little money she’d make she’ll make do for food and to help me out. Fortunately, I got a full academic scholarship in the university I applied to. The four years of finishing my degree was gruelling and about given up numerous times. But I succeeded.

Flash forward. I migrated to another country (for a job). Earning decently. Content. When I went home, I surprised her with an international trip. She always dreamed of getting into a plane and see a different place. The trip almost broke my bank (I spoiled her) but her smile and awe were worth it.

You better be shopping for his b-day!

[Image] It isn't about how to keep yourself motivated, it's about how to train yourself to work without it

[Image] It isn't about how to keep yourself motivated, it's about how to train yourself to work without it


Ironic that this discipline post motivates me

And that's why I make my bed upon waking up every day- against my will, in my rush.

I've been going to the pool for the past three weeks and this morning I really, really didn't want to. But I forced myself to. Every step of the way I wanted to stop, but I did it. Part of me is still mad at me for doing it, and I was going to post today asking for advice on how to get my motivation back, but I guess this is it and I'll be going again tomorrow.

[Story] How I stopped procrastinating and started being productive!

[Story] How I stopped procrastinating and started being productive!

Being a grad student with no fixed deadline for doing things, I was suffering from chronic procrastination. I have read many many articles about procrastination, just like any other procrastinator on Reddit. None of it was working.

You must be familiar with the vicious cycle. You say you are going to do something tomorrow. When tomorrow comes, you repeatedly put it off: I will start after breakfast, let me read this post first. Well, it's almost time for lunch; will start after lunch then. Hmm, let's watch this video first. Okay, got to work now. Then you work for 20 minutes and then go to reddit again to see what's trending. By the end of the day, you feel like shit to have wasted yet another day and getting nothing done, and since your day has been such a failure, there was no point trying to redeem it, so you spend the evening watching Netflix.

To get out of this cycle, I used two principles.

Make small bite-sized goals.

Make your goal outcome independent. Let me explain this one. Instead of saying that I am going to finish paper X today, (because you may or may not be able to finish it), you say that you are going to work on the paper for x hours.

So, I made a goal that I will work at least 4-hours each day on my research. I try to get that 4-hours as soon as possible so that I can enjoy rest of the day guilt-free. And this is very important, during the first few weeks. If you are successful in getting that 4-hours by the middle of the day, don't push and try to get more productivity that day. Just enjoy the rest of the day. The sense of satisfaction you get by fulfilling your goal and enjoying the day will give you motivation for the next day. You can be successful each day, and that is incredibly motivating.

I am using a time-tracking app to count my hours. That's another source of motivation. I find myself looking at the time, and seeing 3hrs 10 minutes and saying to myself: 50 minutes more and you are free.

Another weapon that is required in this battle is to be little mindful. Every time you have that urge to procrastinate and browse /sub/jokes, just stop and pay attention to that urge. It's the lizard brain. It wants to derail you. Grind your teeth and override. (I know this is the hardest part).

Full disclosure: I am not 100% successful, yet. I still find myself procrastinating on getting that 4-hours ("I already did 2-hours. There is plenty of time left in the day to get another 2. Let's watch this video first"). I am trying to establish a rule that I don't get to do any other non-essential thing before I finish that 4-hour. It worked today. I am writing this post, just after having finished my 4.

But yes, I am happy. I have been able to be productive for at-least 4 hours each day for over 2 weeks now, except for some days. And I plan to slightly increase it over the next few weeks.

Hopefully, this gives motivation to some of you.

Edit: Somebody mentioned that a continuous 4-hour would be unbearable. Let me clarify: yes, that would be unbearable. And this is where the app comes in handy; it will let you pause your timer. You work/study for as long as you can or until an hour (whichever is earlier) then pause and take a break. It is very very important that this break is not a time-sucking / addicting break (like Reddit or youtube) because if you go there, you will not want to (and more dangerously not remember to) come back. Use this break to watch out of the window (little risky), get coffee, eat lunch, take shower, take a walk etc. Then, no matter how much you don't want to resume, resume (the most important and the hardest point). Check your progress and say "Wow! 2 hours already. Just 2 more hours!" and keep going.

Meditation has really helped me. It promotes discipline, and - in my experience - you develop a generally more focused state of mind over time (focus is basically the core component of mindfulness).

More like focusing on the present moment instead of "emptying" the mind. This will all be my anecdotal evidence, I'm no expert.

Your brain wants to think, create, all the time. Your goal is to focus on the breath, that's it. Feel it coming in and out, filling your lungs, cooling your nostrils, etc.

Thoughts will come up, and your job is to notice them (and if necessary, resolve them), then come back to the breath. As you meditate more consistently, the only thoughts that will derail your focus are the ones that are really powerful stressors or pleasures (depending on your state of mind).

I've always been an emotion-burier, and this feels completely different than I've always lived. No need to try to "empty" my mind with drugs, alcohol, food, video games, etc. I face my dark thoughts in my meditation, resolve them, and come back to the breath. In turn, I'm much happier.

Example of my thought process before: "I'm so fat, I wish I would get off my ass and work out."

Now with meditation, when this thought comes up: "I'm noticing that I do not like the way I look and feel. I'm noticing that I want to change this. I promise you savorntrees that I will take steps to correct this every week. MindHug" then back to the breath.

Focusing on 1 thing for 4 hours, no break, can be difficult (for me at least). I find that the Pomodoro Technique helps out a lot.

Why is it that every single one of these posts starts with "Ive read everything about procrastination and none of the strategies worked!" Proceed to give most generic advice and strategies that are in every procrastination article

Try one of these subthreads