AdviceAnimals

We have 10 000 employees

We have 10 000 employees

Haha, I love the use of the word "notices" here.

"So Gary, I've noticed that you're severely obese."

"Good catch boss."

"That's why you're the CEO - you notice the little things like 400lb men right in front of your face."

Ok, let's assume for a second this is a true story - which it isn't - how exactly did he approach you on that subject?

"So... I noticed you are severely obese. Anything I can do to help?"

Seems like a pretty bold move towards an employee...

I'm sorry you guys fell for this!

And no, i did not beat myself

And no, i did not beat myself

I helped a friend of mine out with a program for special needs kids, and one boy ran up to me and said "Let's count!"

"Okay!

...Kid started counting off prime numbers.

mental retardation in one area does not necessarily mean limitations in another, is my guess.

This is proven by the existence of autistic savants

I think I would start looking for hidden cameras just to see if I was being trolled

I had to think fast

I had to think fast

I think I'm ok. I can hold it in. I-

[CHASES BALL]

blearghhh

A genius move honestly

Since when was this called fist bump baby? I thought it was success kid.

Now someone will copy the idea, their dog will run back with the ball, put it on their lap, and puke there instead.

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As yet another terrorist attack in Britain is prevented thanks to a tip-off:

As yet another terrorist attack in Britain is prevented thanks to a tip-off:

This happens a lot actually.

Muslim communities helped U.S. security officials to prevent nearly 2 out of every 5 Al Qaeda plots threatening the United States since 9/11

Furthermore,

[T]here have been 21 total instances of Muslims voluntarily seeking to help law enforcement prevent Al Qaeda-related terror activities threatening the United States since 9/11. The represents over 1 out of every 3 (35%) cases.

Source

Try reading some papers from RANDCorp, the DOD's policy think tank. They indicate that the #1 way that Islamic terrorists get caught is from family and Mosque staff reporting concerning behaviour to the authorities

And that isn't exactly easy to do either. Could you imagine reporting your brother, son, daughter, or best friend knowing that they are probably gonna be in prison for a long fucking time?

Yeah, you would be doing the right thing but that shit would still tear you apart.

Because Islam is a religion of hate and every Muslim is indoctrinated to kill all non-believers. At least that's what reddit told me.

Remarks made after a meeting

Remarks made after a meeting

After years of typing everything into keyboards, my handwriting has gone completely to shit.

The few times I have to write out a check, I have to think awhile how to write some letters in cursive. And I'm almost 40.

Why not just print it? I literally print anything that isn't my signature.

EDIT: And by print I mean like writing in print instead of cursive, although I do try to print stuff on a printer as much as possible too.

This. Who the hell uses cursive and complains about their writing? Even my signature is pure gibberish.

Bad handwriting got me extra points on a test. I answered ln(xln(x)) the right answer was ln(ln(x)). But with my sloppy writing the first ( was written sort of over the first x and since I was writing in pen I guess it looked like I was trying to cover it up.

A local company just applied for a permit to dump waste from septic tanks and portapotties into a nearby river

A local company just applied for a permit to dump waste from septic tanks and portapotties into a nearby river

I REALLY want to see more information about this request. I thought we learned to do things better than this in the late 1800s.

They're trying to dump in a 80 acre piece of land that has tributaries to Little Manatee River, so not directly into the river but I don't think that makes it any less of a concern considering this is Florida and chance of runoff is high.

http://wfla.com/2017/04/27/local-plumbing-company-asks-for-permit-to-dump-human-waste-near-little...

Super fair! "Let's just dump it into a field" is not traditionally a responsible waste treatment process.

Why would a permit to do this exist in the first place?

It's difficult lying to them, but they don't need to be wrapped up in this

It's difficult lying to them, but they don't need to be wrapped up in this

At least you both really care about your family, that is the best thing to have. Good luck

Maybe you guys should also have an actual date night?

You know, you're doing the right thing by not involving them. My parents went through a shitty divorce when I was about 10, and I had to act as the messenger and the mediator between the two, I had to be the strong elder brother who supports and protects his two little sisters and I had to be the kid that people expect to perform in school because I kept being told I was smart and that not excelling would be wasting my potential.

Let me tell you, it fucked me. I bottled up so much shit that there's still some today, or at least I think because it's difficult to even evaluate. It might not feel good, but what you're doing definitely is to them. Love your kids more than yourself, it can only build and then fortify a bridge between you two.

Wife and I just passed five years. Through many jobs and losses, my bipolar unmedicated for years, times with no money, living with her parents for years, and two children. Married at 18.

We're still dating. Even when we are broke we set money aside to go eat, go to the park, go see a movie, anything to spend time alone. Its worked so far.

Women, am i right?

Women, am i right?

Unlike Morissette's song this one is meant to be, and is ironic.

The song's not about him. It's about her, or more importantly the effect he has on her because he's such a narcissistic vain person. But the only way she can explain how his behaviour affects her is by giving him extreme examples of this behaviour. Which makes the song sound like it's about him, because he's so vain he can't consider any other possible interpretation for the song's lyrics but it being about him. If he wasn't so vain he's be able to see what's wrong with how he acts so vain, hence why it's ironic.

Edit: a word

I disagree on Morissette. Releasing a tune called 'Ironic' that contains no real examples of irony is super ironic. Especially if we take as given your position that it, in fact, wasn't meant to be ironic anyway. That's irony.

OP thinks this song's about him. It ain't about you, James.

Actually I never thought of it in the meta sense, and when I do it makes more sense. lol

Who do I even ask?

Who do I even ask?

Using high density foam and latex will make them the most lifelike. Good airbrush ability is also important.

Try a hobby that's inherently social: rock climbing, tabletop gaming, book clubs, etc.

I should state, I'm married, 3 young kids, I've put my knees out a few years ago so I'm a stay at home dad. My wife is great but we see each other mostly at night when she's tired. I appreciate the input though. Thank you. Edit : Sorry forgot to mention, I've tried a few book clubs, comic clubs and film clubs but I don't have a specialist hobby as such. Guess I should just find something I really like and bone up on it.

Edit 2: just wanted to say Thank-you to everyone that has leant an ear or idea or both. I've just finished a long shift so I couldn't check my reddit and I simply can't respond to every comment I would like too so I'll put a few points here. My knees are from a growth issue when I was young. I can do anything low impact but not for long. Sports are generally not worth the 3 days of limping and pain for an hours playing. I used to play X box but I sold it along with all my games to help pay for my wife's engagement ring. I do like gaming but we currently only have a wii u.

Before my first girl was born I was about to uni as a mature student and so illustration. It seems the general census is to find something I love doing and do it in a group and that seems like a great start. But I've been awake for 26 hours now so I'm going to get some sleep and look into it tonight. Many, many thanks for the support and laughs.

I'm 32, and your right, finding friends at this age is harsh. oddly enough i play video games here and there, 2-3 hours a week, and i've made some of the best friends i've had from there. We plan meet ups for the weekend and basically just do normal married guy stuff sans our wifes.

I had to post this somewhere.

I had to post this somewhere.

Congratulations, I'm at almost 4 years and still fighting. Next court date is 6/15/17. Haven't seen my kids since October 2013

I hope that you keep fighting and are able to see it through. I know that for me the payoff was last night when my daughter asked if we won at court and when I told her that we did she give me the biggest hug I've ever gotten in my life. I cried like a baby. It made every penny worth it.

If you ever feel hopeless please feel free to drop me a line. You're not alone in your fight.

Plot twist: she was 10 at the beginning, so she's 18 now and on her own.

I had 50/50 custody already (after five years in court). My daughter's mother was trying to brain wash her and it lead to a lot of behavioral issues at school. Had to hire a parental responsibility evaluator to get to the bottom of it. Prior to now our daughter was really too young to realize what was happening.

Edit: Oh yeah....her mother also shaved half our daughters head and dyed the rest pink and blue for the first day of school last year. The judge was not impressed.

Try one of these subthreads