AdviceAnimals

The job security makes it worth it

The job security makes it worth it

Plot twist: she's also a closet atheist who is just being nice to you.

Lay this one on her next time. See if she gets it:

“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravening wolves." Matthew 7:15

Further plot twist: She's an active serial killer of religious people.

Yes, but doesn't the Bible also say, "Thou shalt not take... moochers into thy... hut?"

All in just 4 years.

All in just 4 years.

I grew up relatively poor in a very small Kentucky town. We usually take more pictures of my daughter in a weekend than I have of my entire childhood. Kind of wild to think about.

/sub/im14andthisisdeep

I think that goes for everything and anyone these days. My wife's lunches and dinners have had more picture taken of them than my grandparents did their entire lives.

Same here.

I wonder what things will be like in another generation?

Just constant feeds? Search for any moment? Or maybe we'll get sick of it all?

Remember when incest-themed porn was taboo and easy to avoid? Pepperidge farm remembers

Remember when incest-themed porn was taboo and easy to avoid? Pepperidge farm remembers

I'd just be happy with an accurate search engine in which I could use more than two search terms and exclude certain categories.

That technology has been around for a while.

Well, they have to do something to explain why the hot girl is having sex with the old man.

I'm pretty sure 95% of the people who watch that stuff have no desire to bang their sister/mother. It's literally just watching a hot girl get fucked by a guy she shouldn't be fucking, adding an increased level of illicitness, and thus hedonic reward.

exclude certain categories

That would be the best!

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I just want to fucking walk. Is that too much to ask?

I just want to fucking walk. Is that too much to ask?

I've been happily married for 25 years. Why not just tell your wife that you want to walk by yourself? When she says she will come with you just say "No thanks. I want to listen to my book/podcast/music"

Then walk with her at a different time.

Start jogging and lose those busters.

Twice in one day? Look at Superman over here.

I'd let her walk alone, but she has a seizure problem and they hit at random. She looked at my logs and noticed I went from a 13 16 minute mile to a 21 minute mile (my walks vs hers). She's in as bad of shape as I am so I won't discourage her walking. I figure I'll just slow it down until she can match my speed. So we talked a bit and decided to go to the gym and walk the treadmills instead of the neighborhood. I can go my speed and distance, she can go hers and I don't have to worry about her being alone and doing the floppy fish dance on the side of the road somewhere.

The neighbor is on his own. Not my problem.

edit, mis-click on number pad made me superman. edit 2 Gilded!? Thank you! It's my first.

Never fails in a traffic jam

Never fails in a traffic jam

Imagine how the big trucks feel about this very issue. 32k-80k pounds do not roll quickly so they need a BIG space in front, only to have 3 cars suddenly filling that space and the lane never moving.

I think that's why trucks drive so slow in traffic jams. There's just nothing they can do about cars using that space to jockey for position so they just cruise at a crawl and let people do what they want.

If someone's just merging, I'm usually fine with it; it's easy to get following distance back.

If someone is obviously weaving, then fuck 'em, I'll close up that space.

We do our best when driving like that, but still get that one damn minivan full of kids that just has to cross so close to the grill that a sneeze would be enough distraction to get them crushed. Had that happen too many times driving though Phoenix and in LA rush hour. Even worse when you add a construction zone to the mix.

My coworker on the first day of trying to better herself

My coworker on the first day of trying to better herself

She needs to see a dentist and have her other teeth checked, an almond shouldn't do that.

Yeah, I also cracked my tooth on a nut and it turned out it was a bad tooth that was dead long, long ago

Almond must have been activated.

Yeah a nut also cracked my tooth, he felt really bad about it.

I forgot he even existed for a while

I forgot he even existed for a while

Old memes are easily startled, but they'll soon be back, and in greater numbers.

here is a better resolution one

here is a one

Long live classic memes

31 comments so far and nobody has actually posted up a Ridiculously Photogenic Guy meme?

31 comments so far and nobody has actually posted up a ?

Though for unfortunate reasons.

Though for unfortunate reasons.

A year that jumanji is set to release in theatres.

https://youtu.be/cuF9aZxoipE

And to top it off. Nickelodeon just posted a teaser trailer for a Rockos modern life reboot. EDIT: Here's the link https://www.facebook.com/RockosModernLife/videos/10155496524464376/?permPage=1

EDIT 2: /u/Coleridge49 found that its on YouTube

yeah, but, meh.

I know everyone wants to hate on OJ because he was acquitted of the murders of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman, but I think this sets a good precedent for our justice system. OJ was a model prisoner, served nine years of an absurdly long sentence, and was released on parole. He shouldn't be held in prison longer because some feel he did commit those murders. He's still in prison until October and his life on parole won't be as pleasant as most would think.

When I make it rain on Kickstarter.

When I make it rain on Kickstarter.

Sounds more like a drizzle, but I like your style.

Donating less than enough money to get a reward from Kickstarter may be about the dumbest thing I can think of doing with my money.

Trickle down economics in full force.

You've missed the point of crowdfunding it seems. When the chances of failure are so high, it is asinine to have an expectation of return on your investment. If you were actually concerned with ROI, you wouldn't be investing on kickstarter now would you?

Maybe it's bad parenting but I'll be damned if she's wrong!

Maybe it's bad parenting but I'll be damned if she's wrong!

Your 3-year-old has 15 years in retail?

Truly a person who appeals to todays job offers

She's still entry level

My 4 yo used to call pot holes "butt holes"... it was hilarious! Enjoy it while you can!

Try one of these subthreads