[WP] You've stumbled across Death Note's younger cousin, Mild Inconvenience Note.
It turns out there's a limit to “Mild Inconvenience.”
I experimented yesterday. There's a certain amount of inconvenience I can cause which counts as 'mild' in the view of whoever made this book. I cannot cause too much inconvenience with a single entry, however. So far, I have the ability to:
Make a telemarketer call somebody's home phone late at night while they're sleeping.
Make amazon packages, at most, a day late.
Make people late for appointments by at least ten minutes.
Make hot pockets cold on the inside but hot on the outside, no matter how long you microwave them for.
Make people lose their phone chargers or other semi-important possessions for a short time.
Make people drop cutlery on the floor as soon as their food is done.
Slow down free wireless internet to a level just fast enough that you won't move to another hot-spot or cafe, but too slow to actually do anything.
But the most useful thing I can do is trip people. They don't hurt themselves too much, otherwise it would be a major inconvenience like a broken bone, but it's absolutely hilarious to watch your entire classroom fall on their faces for a full minute as you keep spamming their names into the book.
Yeah, here's no limit to how many times I can enter a name. If I wanted, this book could offer some serious killing potential. Tripping people who try to run away, stalling cars when they try to drive off. Cutting their power for a few minutes, just long enough to enter a building without showing up on security cameras. Want to call for help? Oh no, where's your phone gone?
Or maybe just making a hot-pocket so hot that it burns their body to a fine ash.
Professor Chaos, is that you?
I'm almost convinced that this book is real and someone has been writing my name over and over for my entire life.
I ran for my life, past bushes and over fences into yards I normally wouldn't think of entering. I don't know who is stalking me, or how they're doing it, but I know they exist. Nobody believes me. "It's all in your head, Steven." They think I'm crazy, but I'm not! Whoever is doing these horrible things to me is- AH!
I suddenly stumble and fall forwards on hard concrete, slamming my knee into the ground, painfully. My knee bone grinds against the hard concrete like a paint scraper on a century-old finish. Jerking my head back, I quickly scan my surroundings. What the hell tripped me? Oh, it's my shoelaces... they're somehow tied together. That's definitely impossible, or at least it should be.
Quickly untying my shoelaces from each other, my eyes jerk to and fro as I feel my breathing speeding up. Are they close? Far? Is this the work of the devil? Have I angered the gods in the sky?
Getting up, I rub my knee quickly to soothe my joints before taking off again. Rushing out of the yard, I zip past an elderly couple who are aghast that a young man is running across their lawn without permission. Like I care! There's a stalker trying to ruin my life!
Bolting out onto the street, I scream in alarm as a massive delivery truck comes barrelling at me! At the last second, it swerves to the side, narrowly avoiding me by inches. Luckily these back streets in this quiet rural neighborhood don't have other cars around very often!
Quickly stepping back onto the sidewalk, I reach into my pocket. Gotta grab my phone and dial 911 to- wait, where's my phone?! Oh, wait, there it is. Laying only ten feet behind me, it somehow flew out of my pocket and into the grass. A mild inconvenience, but it could have been worse.
Grabbing my phone, I tap the screen only to find that the battery is at 3%! But I had it charging all night! How is this possible?!
"Nine... one... one..." I quickly tap the numbers on the screen, feeling my heart pause for a split second as a dial tone is heard. Thank god, the police. Even if they don't believe me, maybe they can put me in custody to protect me from- what?
Your call could not be completed. The dial tone ends abruptly. Glancing at my phone, I curse, seeing the local cell signals are down to just one bar. Whatever, the cops wouldn't help me anyway! Everyone thinks I'm crazy!
Dashing down the street, I continue to flee from whatever silent specter is haunting me.
An old man sits on his porch, a few blocks away, as his cool new drone follows his grandson around from high in the sky. Chuckling quietly to himself, he jots down another sentence as the young man hastily tucks his phone into his pocket. "That's what you get for not getting me a Christmas present."
This actually reads like Light Yagami's inner dialogue
Burning someone's body to fine ash is a minor inconvenience but breaking bones isn't?
Just make the pockets be colder and colder every time. The vistim puts them into the microwave longer an longer and then after some time you stop doing it. Like the pennies in a handset.
Luz Guerra violently penned on the mysterious off-black notebook she had found a week prior. "Mild inconvenience!" she yelled out internally with every master stroke, culminating in a whip of the wrist for each victim she accrued.
This notebook was no ordinary notebook. It was a notebook of Death. Or rather, it was a notebook owned by a minion of Death; specifically, one who was on probation for having eaten Death's tuna sandwich from the break-room mini-fridge. This demon minion, Mortamue, had his black notebook of death temporarily replaced with the much milder training version: The Mild Inconvenience Note. He knew the harsh punishment that would befall him if his superiors found out he had already lost it.
Any name one writes in the Mild Inconvenience Note is destined to have a small, almost forgettable, annoyance happen to them within an hour. When Luz found it, she quickly realized the power that had fallen onto her lap. She experimented with the notebook, determining its abilities and limits. Fate had turned Luz into the deliverer of divine punishment.
Mortamue looked from over Luz's shoulder, a witness to the onslaught of unbridled nuisances and hindrances she was delivering, albeit very mild ones.
"Justice!" she loudly internalized. In her darkened room, Luz sat in front of her computer desk watching a live coverage of various high-profile crimes. With one hand she wrote the names and fates of the perpetrators of heinous crimes. Rapists, murderers, corrupt politicians, Brittany from one room over; none were safe. With the other hand she dramatically bit into potato chips with a resounding crunch each time. She bit them in half, much to the confusion of Mortamue. He had assumed people just ate whole chips at a time. The potato chips weren't even that large. It was leaving crumbs everywhere.
The monitor showed a live feed of a serial killer being escorted out of a cop car. He had been caught mutilating the bodies of his victims with chicken wire. "Gary Worburger," she scrawled on the notebook, "stubs his toe. It hurts, but not too much." Mild was the name of the game. Luz had to ensure the inconvenience wasn't too severe, otherwise the punishment would not come true.
The serial killer, partially blinded by the jacket covering his head, walks into a pole and stubs his toe in front of all the cameras. There is audible chuckling from the crowd of reporters. A sense of achievement washes over Luz. Justice comes swiftly. Mildly, but swiftly.
Although Mortamue is impressed by Luz skilled use of the notebook, he can't help but feel concerned over her reckless abuse of power. He feared she was getting careless. "You're leaving too many crumbs."
Luz stopped for a moment to ponder his phrase. "You're right, Mortamue. I've been leaving too many clues."
"Yes, that's what I meant."
The live feed on the computer monitor was interrupted by another live broadcast. It was a mostly blank screen except for a single letter: "Ñ". A masked voice overlaid, "I know you exist. I purposefully streamed live coverage of many criminals in order to gauge your capabilities. I will find you."
With this, a dangerous-but-not-quite-so game of cat and mouse was only just starting.
"Mortamue," Luz said, "bring me more chips. Salt & vinegar flavored."
I'm pretty sure it's a rewrite of Light's experimentation monologue
Make hot pockets cold on the inside but hot on the outside, no matter how long you microwave them for.
This is pure savagery. Even shinigami will stop in awe at the depths of human depravity.
Maybe you are right Johnny
Every Saturday Maria and I have this "obligatory shopping day" where we go to the mall but we don't buy anything (apart from our lunch, of course), instead we pick out random items and say "what they could be", for example a tissue could easily be a blanket for beetles or a slushie could be some sort of literal brain freezer that aliens use to stop other aliens from functioning and then cut up their dead brain to make hats. It usually doesn't make sense, but that's pretty much the magic of it.
This Saturday, a new shop called Doki-chan opened. Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like: a bootleg anime/"kawaii" store where broke weaboos can spend their hard-earned McDonald's cash to buy a $4 Amu Hinamori keychain which its paint chips quicker than watching paint dry. The "Doki-chan" on the sign was written in Curlz for goodness sake. Maria wanted to go in, and we stepped in the store to be greeted with lighthearted J-Pop music.
I walked over to the stationery section of the shop, which had a lot of mechanical pencils and dessert-themed erasers. I picked up a pink notebook which had "Mild Inconvenience Note" written on it, the dots on the I's replaced with flowers. It had two cats on the cover kissing each other, one of them having black fur, the other one brown. "I don't get it...is 'mild inconvenience' considered a cute phrase now in Japan...kind of how they like to use broken English in their stationery. Maybe it's revenge for the weebs fetishizing the word 'kawaii'..." I thought to myself.
Maria scuttled over to me holding an Eli Ayase keychain and a T-shirt with all the girls on Aqours on it. "Can we break the no-buying rule just for today? I really wanna get these cool Love Live merch! They're soooo cheap too!"
"You do know all this stuff is bootleg, right?" I said quietly to her. Now, I'm not an expert on anime merchandise or anything (I don't even like anime that much) but I have a brother who's obsessed with only getting the "authentic" stuff and an elitist sister who breathes Baby the Stars Shine Bright and is supposedly allergic to Bodyline.
"Thanks for your opinion," Maria rolled her eyes. She glanced at the notebook I was holding and choked on some air. "Oh my god, is that supposed to be like Death Note but like, 4Kids-ified?? Anyways I'm so getting myself one of those." She picked up another pink notebook from the pile. "$5? Noice..."
"Don't say that please," I cringed.
We walked out of the shop with Maria having $21 less cash. "Oh, can you buy my lunch please? Haha I just realised that's all my food money. Whoops." I facepalmed really hard, but there's some sort of satisfaction in being the "responsible" friend. I hand her a $20 note and we go to a Mexican food place and she orders some nachos and I order a burrito. While she waits for me to savor the other half of my burrito, she takes out the Mild Inconvenience Note and starts flicking through the pages. The Mild Inconvenience Note had the same layout of the Death Note how to use section, which Maria thought was pretty cool. She got out her Hello Kitty pen out of her messenger bag and started tapping the "clicky" end of it on her chin, causing the ballpoint to go in or out.
"What if the power of their love saved Light and L from their deaths?" she thought out loud, her idealism showed themselves in her eyes making her look a little removed from reality. "That would be a cute little fanfic. I should write that fanfic."
"Oh dear god, no..." I muttered, mouth still half full from the burrito. "I don't even know what those are but it sounds pretty horrible..."
"Wow, downer much...I was just thinking out loud..." Maria muttered. "Maybe I'll just pretend this is like the Death Note and write people's names on here for fun."
"Have fun with that."
Maria wrote on the first fresh page "Craig Stuart - choke on burrito". She didn't expect anything to happen, but soon enough, I really was choking on a piece of minced meat. She assumed it was just a coincidence though.
The Mild Inconvenience Note was used by Maria as a way of "venting" towards things she was pissed off about. She brought it to church the next day and made the pastor hiccup the the whole hour. It took her a while to realise that she did, in fact, have some sort of power bestowed upon her in the form of a pink notebook, but once she did, she sort of...abused the power. I found this the ear-shrieking, "standing in scorching summer heat" way.
"Craig!!! What the hell!! Why would you cut out my Invitation from 5th Avenue dress just so you can make good quality pillow cases?! What is wrong with you?!" my elitist sister fumed like a tomato on steroids.
"Uh...I don't make pillow cases? That's Maria. She loves making pillow cases." I gave her a weird look.
"Oh, silly me, aha...you two spend too much time with each other, I mistake you for her a lot of the time! Wait, do I even have an older brother sometimes...oh I wonder..." she chuckled, fanning her gloved hands in the air.
"I only hang out with her on Saturdays..."
"Right, yeah. Forgot you lacked other companions. Well, I'm going to challenge Maria to a game of tennis tomorrow to find out if she's the culprit. I mean, it just has to be her, I know it."
"Yeah, because a game of tennis will do the trick," I nodded. If chins could wink, mine probably would have. My lucky ass found itself sitting on prickly dead grass as I watched a professional tennis match with fast-paced athleticism combined with wits and tactical planning that no ordinary tennis match could ever compare to. It almost feels like my birthday.
"Jesus, Maria!! Stop checking out Karen's legs and actually pay attention to the goddamn game!!" I groaned. I wouldn't call my sister military ruthless, but it was a little sneaky of her to wear booty shorts which flaunted her curve, knowing that Maria had formed some sort of physical attraction to her. I find it funny how Karen knows this, but cannot distinguish the difference from her brother and his friend. My sister isn't really a sports person and neither was Maria, so the game mainly consisted of serving the ball to each other and the other person chasing after the missed ball. Karen did end up winning though since she managed to hit a few balls over the net.
"Well, there you go. Maria's obviously the culprit, cause she lost on purpose," my sister concluded.
"If you say so..." Maria rolled her eyes.
"I mean, why would you even accept my offer to play tennis with you? I messaged you something along the lines of: hey dress destroyer, 3 pm, let's go down to the tennis court,"
"And talk it up like yeah?" I said, making the cringiest pun in history. Okay, there you go, the boldest move of my high school life.
"Yeah, I saw that coming..." my sister put her hand on her hip. "Do you use the pillow with my dress on it as some sort of body pillow or something? Or let me guess, you went one step ahead and made a blanket?"
Maria showed no emotion on her face and simply said, "Would you believe me if I used a notebook to ruin your dress for you? Yeah, such a shame I didn't get any free fabric from it..."
"Haha, hilarious. Pinch me."
Maria got out her Mild Inconvenience Note from her bag and wrote "Karen Stuart - trip over and break nose".
endless loop of dropping silverware
I couldn't help but read this in Light Yagami's super intense thinking voice
Nickles but yeah
Opening the book, I clicked the end of the pen and hesitated.
Did I really want to do this? Did I really want to unleash the demons of mild inconvenience upon those who had annoyed me throughout the day?
Steeling my will I nodded slightly as if reassuring myself that this was the right thing to do. They had made my life a living heck, and now, they in turn were going to feel the wrath of light irritation. Lowering the pen to the page, I began to write the first name with trembling hand.
"M." "A." "T-" I was halfway through the first T when the pen began to skip across the letter, the ink fading in and out as I scratched an indent into the paper.
"What the hell?" I grumbled as I gave it an annoyed shake. It was a new pen, why in the hell was it already out of ink?
Tracing over the letter, the crease deepened, but almost no color was added to it, causing me to shake it once more.
"Fine." I grumbled as I searched for a piece of scrap paper to scribble on. The pen scraped across the surface roughly at first, but then as the ink began to freely flow, soft circles of blue began to appear.
I was back on track.
Ignoring my first attempt, I brought the pen's tip to the next soft blue light of the notebook and tried again.
"M." "A." "T." "T-" The pen hit a chunk of not-quite-formed paper and refused to write.
I had seen it before; a soft flaw in the page, more likely than not from a particularly hard piece of wood or bark that improperly treated, never quite blend into the page.
"Goddamnit." I swore, growing more and more annoyed by the minute. Skipping a good three lines, I moved towards the center of the page, determined to unleash absolute mild inconvenience on my sworn frenemy.
"M-" The pen ran out of ink once more, and cursing loudly I threw it across the room.
Make someone's alarm not go off, but wake them up 8 minutes later. Then make all the traffic lights yellow
Oh, wow, I'd never been asked that before. It feels warm and fuzzy. Thank you. Here's my most "recent" prompt responses.Robots take over the world, but instead of being genocidal, they're just dicks about it to humans. After self-driving cars take over the road, one needs to drive as good as self-driving cars to ke... And then a long break of no writing.( After a long day at work you sit in front of your TV and are startled by the reflection of death ... Write a SFW story about a Hitachi Magic Wand
What about ice cream headaches every time they have ice cream
This was amazing, and so easy to read. Do you have more readings like this?