What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shitlord? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Intro to Women's Studies, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on The Patriarchy, and I have over 300 confirmed shamings. I am trained in privilege checking and I’m the top blogger in the entire Tumblr blogosphere. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of feels across the USA and your microaggression is being triggered right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your opinion. You’re fucking shamed, kid. I can blog anywhere, anytime, and I can shame you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare keyboard. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed insults, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Tumblr's reaction gifs and I will use it to its full extent to sass your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking shamed, kiddo.
The completely unfounded belief that these people have in their own mightiness is what annoys me the most. Unfortunately, it seems to be the character trait that seeps into the real world the most. I know a girl who is five feet tall and once broke her back in a car accident who constantly says she'll "have someone on the ground begging for their life if they ever said something like that to my face."
No, you won't. You'll piss and moan on the internet and masturbate yourself to sleep thinking of Tom Hiddleston.
I don't even enjoy it, just one of those things you have to do.
Dose TIA give health care? because I keep cutting myself on these posts.
I don't get much pleasure from knowing people are fundamentally broken or emotionally/developmentally stunted. It's just sad.
Hold up, why is masturbating to Tom Hiddleston worth mentioning here? I thought that was a totally normal thing everyone, male or female, gay or straight does.
Oh honey, Caps Lock and sassy gifs does not anger and wit create...
It's also antithetical to the whole tumblrite perpetual mantle of victimhood. If you're so kickass that you run around "destroying people with your wit" how are you still oppressed? If you bathe in a fountain of male tears borne of your keyboard pounding, then the patriarchy ain't that powerful, is it toots? That, or it's all just a lame defense mechanism to mask your crippling insecurity.
I will bait you and outsmart you.
"In this moment, I am angry and witty. Not because of any phony reality outside of my echochamber. But because, I am enlightened by tumblr."
Watch out! She's on CREATINE!
That's the tumblr version of 'euphoric.'
Well I should have known this has already gotten the SRS treatment.
It seems like people who make such statements need to, to feel strong. Instead of getting annoyed with them, we should all be secretly pleased to know that in reality they're a child trapped in a corner who will lash out at anyone to stop feeling scared for five minutes.
To be fair, they're usually all set for anger. It's just wit they lack.
Diddlin' my Hiddleston
HER GAINZ CANNOT BE CONTROLLED!
I prefer "Chokey the Loki", myself.
THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL HASHTAG!
People who threaten to use their "wit" are people who obviously don't have any. You don't hear many comedians walking around saying "Watch out, I might unleash my wit on you!"
You're never playing alone when you have a strawman for an opponent.
God damnit.. Now my little Hiddleston is getting all swollen just thinking about it. BRB, gotta handle this.
moves chess piece
It's pretty much ritual at this point.
It's one of those things that you can't just label yourself as having. Like giving yourself a nickname.
Diddleston my Hiddleston?
my secret network of feels
This one has made it for me, the best version I've ever read!
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~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ you are a brave strong maxfargo ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who don’t need no Patriarchy ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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Good analogy RB!
Feel Team Six Actual
Best goddamn flair on this sub.
Had a roomate come in and tell me his name is duke. Fuck you no im gonna call you clarence.
It's things like these that make the comments worth it
Of course! Come right in, cishet white men and agents of internalised discrimination (AIDs) get free health care under the Patriarchy.
Such cringe. Much wit.
BRODIN SAVE US ALL!
I suffered from crippling social anxiety and abusive parents through my childhood and I still feel I came out less emotionally damaged than the majority of these tumblrites.
I sell feels and feel accessories.
Is nobody else going to notice the discussion of the Christmas Krampus in the post above?
I seriously wonder what it must be like to live life like these people do. Even in my most insecure days, I wasn't scared of everything or everyone around me.