This... this is my time
Similar thing happened to me. I was at a funeral and they released a dove (a white homing pigeon) and a hawk got it almost immediately. Kind of awkward. Mostly funny.
EXSANGUINATE THE MUDMEN
Redditor for 5 years. Excellent /sub/beetlejuicing.
While I am no expert on Bird Canon Law, this seems like a clear violation of Hawkistine's Just War Theory.
In bird culture, this is considered a dick move.
After just returning from vacation in Italy and being a New Yorker my entire life, I can tell you that the Italian pigeons are much tougher. No fucks are given by those bastards
SCREE SCREEE! SCRAW!!
THOSE PIGEONS ARE TRAITORS, INTERROGATE
Of course that's a thing.
Nice to see another practitioner of bird law
I hope that at my funeral they don't release some weak-ass bird like a dove. I'd rather they let loose a majestic hawk which immediately kills a dove.
I take your word for it, friend.
New York has some tough pigeons.
A New Yorker talks pigeons, you listen to his writing.
Hmmm. Perhaps there was a rival funeral on the other side of the hill.
Odin sends his regards.
There's deeper metaphor there me thinks
hmmm... i'm thinking coked-up cassowary popping out of a coffin. nothing chases away grief like a geeked-out murder-turkey
The cool part: In response the Vatican hired a professional hawker/falconer to target the seagulls/crows so this doesn't happen again.
Again, the Pope has an official holy mercenary attack raptor
There are many bird sub-cultures, in some it is considered murder, in others it is considered lunch.
It's only murder if there's more than one crow.
We can go toe to toe on bird law if you want
In my will I'm going to have instructions to release doves at my funeral, and I'm going to secretly instruct my best friend to release a couple hawks nearby. Shit would be hilarious.
There is a video somewhere of Ilona Staller releasing white doves as an anti-militarist stunt. One of them got squeezed under a tank like 5 seconds later. She was dressed in white too.
I was photographing a wedding a few years back. The couple had hired a guy to release 5 doves. The groom had just finished his masters and was living at home with his parents until he and his new bride could find a place to live in the new city they were moving to. The pastor was a friend of the family so he knew what was up. At the point in the ceremony when they release the doves, the dove guy opens up their door and they fly about 20 feet and roost in the surrounding trees. The pastor leans in to the groom and says something, the groom laughs and shakes his head. Without skipping a beat the pastor says something to the effect of "life may present you with what seems like a metaphor. Don't always accept what you see in front of you as a sign. Brian, your parents are FINE with you relocating to a new city!" It was cute, the family had a good laugh. Side note: when I left the reception that evening, the birds were still there. Birds.
The ibis (the stupid fucking cunts)
🎵 It's the circle, the circle of life🎵
I'm really surprised no comments have said something like Trump is the Seagull and Putin is the crow
Paris pigeons would best New York pigeons in a bird contest
As is tradition.
I'm as dope as two rappers you better be scared
Among the other unwritten laws of Reddit, these two are relevant to this post:Someone will always bring up politics, and If there's even a hint of a word related to religion, someone will show up to bash religion.
Attempted Murder, then!
For some reason I thought of "decked-out" and imagined a cassowary in full body armor.
By who's more bird?
Wednesday? Is that you?
SCREEE!! GO BACK EDGY MUD MAN! SCRAAAAW
Because albert e equals mc squared!!!
Well i mean... You guys did lose a war to them and you are humans :v
It's amazing that you were able to post this from beyond the grave.
The games up, boys
Pterodactyls or nothing at mine. Maybe they drag off a few children or pets, you know, something funny.
Can't be him. Your dad's still at the store getting smokes.
Happy Father's Day!
Did you tip your fedora as you hit "post"?
EXECUTE ORDER 33.
THE MUDMEN ARE SPREADING FAKE NEWS! THIS IS AN ACT OF WAR!
Honestly just stumbled upon the comment today while browsing. Could've missed the whole thing
Thus, tens of thousands of Tweets and Facebook posts were launched, some of which used words such as "demonic," "omen," and "apocalypse".
We've discovered particles smaller than atoms. We're on the blink of creating true AI. We've sent humans into space and observed a no small chunk of the Universe, and we're about to observe even more with future technologies...
...and we're still living in the fucking Middle Age.
and we all lost it
Two crows hanging out is an attempted murder.
Just no foul language.
Such an obscure bird/religion pun. I love it.
Yeah I had faith in reddit not to pull up politics but..
Yoouuu've got no idea what you're messing with here boy
Seagulls don't give a fuck, they're also significantly bigger than you realise until you end up directly in front of one.
I once saw one that I swear must have been about 4 foot tall just stood in the middle of the road, it was fucking huge and looked seriously pissed off at everything. A car stopped in front of it and pipped the horn to get it to move and the seagull just slowly turned and stared at the driver. They both stared at each other for a while then the driver thought better of it and backed the car up and then went around it. The seagull just went back to staring angrily at people walking by.
I don't know what the fuck that seagulls problem was but I wouldn't want to do anything to piss it off further either.
Just no fowl language
Australia would just come in with emus and win automatically in a bird contest
Paris pigeons diet consists of baguettes, NYC pigeons diet must consist of steroids, pizza and whatever else the fuck TMNTs eat.
I got 12 inch rims on my chair that's how I roll yall
*an official holy winged mercenary attack raptor
Like the army of St. Michael lol
I was expecting a gif of a cassowary running around in body armor and now I'm a little disappointed
The true light of God (dove) is attacked by the evil of today's world. This attack comes from multiple fronts, crows being land faring birds, and seagulls, well, from the seafront.
So whenever you see a spiritual person being attacked for their beliefs, if you look closely, you will see a two-pronged attack. It may come in the form of a Redditor being attacked for their beliefs by one person, and then having a second, seemingly random person coming in for another attack as if to outnumber the spiritual person and make them feel bad for believing what they believe. It's intentional, not random, we are in the end days, and much of the warfare going on right now is psychological in nature. The forces of evil spend a lot of time hunting the internet for people who post positively for God and search for ways to undermine them. They are clever and cunning and will stop at nothing to see the good name of the Lord destroyed.
Well, at least that's my interpretation of this.
REASON WILL PREVAIL!
GOD DAMN IT!
You look like someone glued a mustache on a troll doll
Those San Marco Square pigeons fear nothing.
I'm just glad you found it. I love serendipity.
Hahaha, I snuck up behind my wife on Piazzo San Marco and dribbled cracked corn on her shoulders and head. Within seconds, she was wearing a virtual overcoat of the winged rats.
We still don't have answers to the real mysteries like WHY THE HECK ANYTHING AT ALL EXISTS? WHY?
inb4 a vaccum bubbled dark energy at sub plank scales and made the universe or some crap
That might be even more terrifying.
GAR GAR THERE'S THE BIRDMEN HIDEOUT! FORWARD, /sub/madmudmen, WE G-ARE EATING EGGS TONIGHT!
Oh my fucking god he chucked it so hard it left feathers floating behind it. I will never get tired of seeing this vid.
Dammit I messed it up!
Actually it was a Jackdaw.
Don't forget to add 'quantum' to sound legit.
You've got no idea what you're messin' with here boy
And the martians laid waste to the us when the hippies did it. Does no one ever learn?
I want a Peregrine falcon to dive out of the sky at Guinness world record speed and take out a bald eagle.
That or a complete reinactment of the Battle of Kruger in a neighboring retention pond.
Rivalry between siblings?
Also Godwin's law.
Bird law in this papal state is not governed by reason!
Dove - Bird
Crow - Bird
Seagull - Bird
Bird & Bird: 1
Charles Darwin with the dagger.
Posieden and Odin are not pleased.
Fuck birds, I hope they release like a tiger or some shit at my funeral that kills an attendee or something. That's 2 for 1 on the funeral.
"Meanwhile former Pope Benedict said of the incident, 'Yeees my pets'..." - Seth Meyer
No matter who you are I think we can all agree that seagulls are dicks.