TIL that the fastest red card in a football match was given too Lee Todd in just 2 seconds for saying "Fuck me that was loud" when the Ref blew his whistle

TIL that the fastest red card in a football match was given too Lee Todd in just 2 seconds for sa...

Talk about overreacting.

I know right, its not like that was the first refs whistle he's ever heard

Fuck me that was quick.

You've got to love English football

ah ... the old reddit switcharoo

Best chant I ever saw was at some reserve keeper with the surname "Justham", opposition fans started singing "You're just a shit Tesco sandwich, a shit Tesco sandwich!"

I always enjoyed the chanting at the police "we paid for your hats, we paid for your haaaats, what a waste of council tax, we paid for your hats"

Ah. Of course. We don't have sandwiches here in the US. We call them bread-meat-towers. Such a silly term, sandwich.

Having been a police officer at the match it is really hard to keep a straight face for that one

I think my favorite thing about it is the abusive chants lol some of them are hilarious

" God-fucking damn, already?"

The cheerios one. Technically you're not supposed to curse at all during a match, or at least not direct it at another person, but almost all refs let it slide.

Hold my red card, I'm going in!

As somebody who doesn't watch the sport at all and knows nothing about the players specifically, was this the last straw following other shit from Lee Todd or did somebody shit in the Ref's cheerios the morning of the game?

For anyone who is not from the UK a sandwich is two slices of bread with a filling in between.

at least not direct it at another person

I mean, he cursed at himself: "Fuck me"

My favourite is the Norwich City chant, sung to the tune of The Addams Family

"Your sister is your mother, your uncle is your brother, you all fuck one another, the Norwich family"

My other favourite from when I was growing up was this, sung to the tune of That's Amore, with the Z pronounced the British way (zed)

"When you're sat in Row Z and the ball hits your head, that's Zamora"

Red cards are given for the following criteria:

Serious foul play

Violent conduct

Spitting at an opponent or any other person

Denying the opposing team a goal or an obvious goalscoring opportunity by deliberately handling the ball (this does not apply to a goalkeeper within his own penalty area)

Denying an obvious goalscoring opportunity to an opponent moving towards the player's goal by an offence punishable by a free kick or a penalty kick

Using offensive, insulting or abusive language and/or gestures

Receiving a second caution in the same match

thats what she said

Almost as golden as when west ham were getting battered by city and sang "We lose every week we lose every weeeek, you're nothing special we lose every week"

As someone who referreed soccer for over 10 years, someone both shit in his cereal and put saran wrap on his toilet that morning.

Honestly, unless the verbal curse is directed at a referee, other player, or other coach, I usually let it slide unless it is a kids game and some kid just screams "FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK" as loud as he can for no reason.

"Your teeth are offside, your teeth are offside, Luis Suarez, your teeth are offside" one of my favourites

TIL I would be constantly red carded in soccer.

Yeah, the ref can't send the crowd off.

Aren't red cards reserved for health-threatening injuries? That seems like a huge overreaction.

Fuck me.

That was quick.

How are you able to get through each day without cutting yourself on that edge?

This is my problem with certain Umpires in the MLB. There are times they seem to think people are there to watch them and not the players. Nothing like doubling down on a terrible call and throwing out the star player everyone paid to come see.

Prefer rugby myself but you have to appreciate the skill in some players

Fite me m8

Fuck is offensive?

Fuck you! is offensive.

Fuck, that was loud! is not offensive.

I guess it was to the ref. "He told me I blew the whistle too loud, I'm offended!"

Hello people of the future!

But was he soliciting a pounding from the referee?

hold my balls

You only had one job


Let's pretend! Let's pretend! Let's pretend we scored a goal! (fans start celibrating)

Bread-meat-towers have been banished from these lands as they are in theory taller than they are wide and could lead to a culinary disaster on a scale similar to your 9/11.

That's... pretty racist

There's low tolerance for harsh swearing in football. Ultimately it's at the referee's discretion though, so shitty cheerios may have been part of it.

That's like...the whole point.

holy shit that's gold.

Also the Balotelli one: “Oooh Balotelli, he’s a striker, he’s good at darts, an allergy to grass but when he plays he’s fuckin’ class, he drives around Moss Side with a wallet full of cash”

"Good at darts" because there was the news he was throwing darts at Manchester City's young team from his bedroom window.

As a Chelsea fan, one of my favourites songs is the celery song. We just sing "celery, celery, and if she don't cum I'll tickle her bum with a lump of celery" and throw celery around. We're the reason celery is on the list of items banned at Wembley 😂

The self deprecating ones are the best

hot dogs

You're so cool

But apparently high tolerance for racist chants and banana throwing.

Tried doing something similar once.... did not go well

Which is odd since the umpire can in baseball.

Fuck me, that was fast.

I love that one and the one AFC Wimbledon fans chant at MK Dons fans:

"Where were you, where were you, where were you when you were us, where were you when you were us?"

If anyone is confused it has to do with the then owners of Wimbledon FC moved them to Milton Keynes against the fans wishes. AFC Wimbledon was started by the fans to replace their lost club and there is a lot of resentment in English Football towards MK Dons.

We do come up with some rather inventive ones

I too speak of matters I'm not informed in

Just like a regular sandwich, but instead of meat and cheese it's the people that are in bread

"No woman, no Kai"

To Wayne Rooney. While he was going through marital/domestic issues.

Can't remember which supporters came up with that.

That has nothing to do with what he was talking about though.

Jokes are hard sometimes

that was just the ref being a jobsworth, it isn't against the rules to swear unless you are directly abusing the ref, this ref was an idiot.

What? You think that racist chants are acceptable in Britain or that Western European countries are less diverse than the US? Think again.

At the same time, a 'star player' shouldn't get a 'get out of jail free' card just because people like him.

Well, he got one

You should do an AMA

Fuck was that?

Me quick.

Or maybe just laugh about it and let it slide because it's a complete non-issue?


Reminds me of the time Carmelo Anthony got a technical when a ref blew the whistle too loud next to him.



"Ahhhhhhhh puuuuuutttttoooooooo" the Mexicans got in trouble in the World Cup!


"I've got a shed (I've got a shed) as big as this (as big as this), I've got a shed as big as thiiiisss. It's got door and windows." Often sang at away games when the opposing teams ground is bloody small.

"When you're sat in row z and the ball hits your head that's Zamora"

You must never have played Sunday league.

I thought it was Vinnie Jones when he grabbed Gascoigne balls before the game started


It is difficult

Terry the only player to get more stick than Wayne. "Chelsea, wherever you may be, keep your wife from John Terry" sung to the tune of lord of the dance

He will serve as an example to younger generations, and I hope to sports teams, about how not to treat a young, rash, special player.

He could have really been something special, but now that we have Belotti, Italy doesn't give a fuck about Balotelli. All we cared about was because we needed a striker for our national team.

And Belotti is FUCKING GOOD.

i dont think you know a lot about football if you think that the referee can just give out cards to the crowd.

"Nutritional Packages With Indeterminate Content"

You're a shit joke

Red card.


Well no, actually getting hurt in hockey doesn't get you a penalty for being a cheater. Faking being hurt might do, but faking a foul in football also leads to a yellow or red card.

TIL that the second fastest red card in football history occured 4 seconds in

So because the US is full of racists, the UK gets to be as racist as it wants? What the hell is this logic, mate?

Wait bread?!

Don't you mean, fluffy air crust?

Why can't you be more considerate of other cultures colloquial terms?

They literally have bareknuckle boxing matches during hockey games, and the usual penalty is that they have to cool off for 5 minutes.

What's the "teeth-lost-per-game" average in soccer?

Ever go into six overtimes during soccer?

"Embellishment" is a penalty in hockey, but rewarded in soccer.

Hockey players are known for getting injured, getting themselves patched up with stitches, and getting their asses back in the game before the period has ended.

There are multiple recorded instances of hockey players having broken legs / ankles / feet and still finishing out a game.

But you're right. It's the act of wearing equipment that makes hockey players pussies.

What a strange threat /sub/me_ira ?

Copy/paste job

spurs being a north London club has a significant fan base in areas north to the Thames and that includes places like the East End .The East end of London , historically home to large immigrant populations witnessed the arrival of a huge Ashkenazi Jew population during early 20th century. Turns out that the other north London football clubs such as Arsenal weren't quite spectacular at that time.Spurs being a more popular club for a long time enjoyed large support from the immigrant population.Even today,North London is home to nearly half the Jewish population of England. This historic support among the Jewish community has resulted in opponents trying to denigrate the spurs fans with the antisemitic term Yids. But the spurs fans have reclaimed the term and use it as a mark of their legacy with pride.

Youre full of shit, that isnt how sports work. Regardless of how fast he is , he would look like an idiot actually going up against talented players.

The tricks they pull on each other while in play would be much easier to do against someone nit on their level and bolt, although fast, is nowhere near close to being on their level.

Do you not like loud whistles?

Actually, red card is justified for vulgar language. The full law states Offensive, Vulgar, or abusive language and the definition of that is entirely open to the referee for interpretation. If I was an Assistant Referee for this game I would 100% back up the head referee's call, then maybe ask him at halftime what someone put in his cheerios that morning, or for a better explanation, but that would be away from all players, coaches, and spectators.


Page 61 of this PDF begins the section about red cards and summarizes.

Play a single match and you'll see why people think so. Having just a plastic shin guard when colliding with someone at Max speed is painful as shit.

unfortunately the role of referee often attracts butthurt people.

You're team is shit!

But your birds are fit!

Or when duncan got ejected for smiling

The ref can and should postpone the match for that kind of stuff.

Does anyone like loud whistles?

As a resident of the UK, I can tell you now that it would be MASSIVELY taboo among the general population, and among football fans probably still a bit.

Among football fans 20 years ago not so much... they'd sing anything - there's a progression.

Important to note that we pronounce it correctly as 'zed' not 'zee' over here so it does rhyme. Whatever the fuck 'zee' is meant to mean..

Actually its #222222


Actually its #222222

First off, James Neal is a fucking tool bag.

Second, I've been hit in the face with a stick. I've needed stitches, I'm not talking out of my ass when I say there is a difference and he had a complete overreaction.

It's completely within his character, he does it frequently and has a well deserved reputation for it.

He isn't getting the benefit of doubt.

And lastly, none of this changes the entire point of my post which was that they openly curse in the NHL. It's a joke that you would be kicked out of a soccer game for saying fuck at a professional level. An absolute joke.

We used to sing this to Rooney to the same tune, "the dad's a little plonky, the mum looks like a donkey, the rest of them are loony, the Rooney family"

You put way too much time writing this response when you could've been actually doing the bare minimum of fucking research, you twat.