TIL Ted Nugent wrote the song Jailbait with lyrics, "I don't care if you're just thirteen," and "Wait a minute officer, Don't put those handcuffs on me, Put them on her and I'll share her with you."

TIL Ted Nugent wrote the song Jailbait with lyrics, "I don't care if you're just thirteen," and "...

This is the guy who made himself the legal guardian of a 17 year old when he was 30 so that he could marry her. He's never exactly been a decent human being.

He's never exactly been a decent human being.

Pooping your pants to get out of the draft, then later in life pretending to be a super-patriotic American makes him the biggest hypocrite. Anytime I see him speak on TV I cringe. 100% pure loser.

If he deliberately shit himself to avoid the draft then he did his potential future comrades a favour by staying the fuck away from anything approaching a situation requiring bravery.

He also literally shit his pants to avoid serving in the military.

Pedophiles are a touchy bunch.

I got banned from a Ford Bronco refurbish company facebook page for talking bad about him.

Agreed. People shit on draft dodgers, but if you're the kind of person to do that then you would probably go awol in the field and leave your unit to die in the jungle and it's a good thing you didn't go.

Edit: RIP my inbox.

Stray Cat Blues by the Rolling Stones, depending on which version you hear, talks about sex with either a 13 or 15 year old girl.

Also there was a strange story about Steven Tyler talking the parents into giving him custody of their 14 year old daughter in which he ends up getting her pregnant and forces her to have an abortion.

I have a hard time condemning anyone for doing whatever they could to avoid being forced into the Vietnam war.

I have a hard time until it gets to the point they are pro war.

It amazes me that this chicken hawk gets praised by republicans...

Well not really, not anymore...

https://youtu.be/EAtqyl1N4n0

Here is Courtney Love (reluctantly) admitting how she gave oral sex to Ted Nugent when she was 12 years old at 8:22. This is not a song about a fictional story. Ted Nugent is a monster.

While what you're saying is true, those same draft dodgers are the same people that will claim to be uber patriotic, and talk down to anyone that doesn't share their beliefs.

Edit for clarification: For fuck sake, this is a thread about ted Nugent. A draft dodger who is as right wing shit bag as they come. He'll promote "conservative" agendas like the current conflicts we're involved in yet dodged the draft himself. Fuck people need to understand the context of the topic being discussed.

Yes I understand not all draft dodgers are unpatriotic. I understand that the Vietnam War was not necessary and shouldn't have happened. Ted Nugent din't have a real reason to dodge the draft other than he was scared to go. That isn't a patriotic, or legitimate reason to shit one's pants to avoid going to war.

Yeah but the Spinal Tap one is parody. It's a fake band for a mockumentary.

Well no one needs to shit on him for draft dodging since he shit on himself for it hahaha.

And the only repercussions for this is some comments on the internet. People can get away with doing the filthiest shit.

ITT: Some people using whataboutism in order to defend pedophilia.

We need to clean out our country, starting with holding the people who are willing to defend pedophiles just because they align with their political ideology accountable for their actions.

Phrasing

It's almost like Ted Nugent is a huge sack of shit

That's real fuckin' creepy just reading it without any musical context.

And 13? that's super gross. I thought jailbait meant 16-17 years old.

That's exactly right. If war is so frightening that you yourself wish to avoid it, then don't advocate for it

Well, there are also people that spend four years in the military and act like a decorated war hero.

I've got no inhibitions So keep your keys out of your ignition I steal a car like I got the curse I can't resist the old lady's purse

Jailbait you look so good to me Jailbait won't you set me free Jailbait you look fine, fine, fine And I know I've got to have you in a matter of time

Well, I don't care if you're just thirteen You look too good to be true I just know that you're probably clean There's one little think I got do to you

Jailbait you look so good to me Jailbait won't you set me free Jailbait you look fine, fine, fine And I know I've got to have you in a matter of time

Sad but true

So tell your mama that I'm back in town She likes us boys when it's time to get down She's got this craving for the underage; I just might be your mamas' brand new rage

Jailbait you look so good to me Jailbait won't you set me free Jailbait you look fine, fine, fine And I know I've gots to have you in a matter of time, now babe

Honey, you, you, you look so nice She's young, she's tender Won't you please surrender She so fine, she's mine All the time, I woke my mind

It's all right baby, it's quite all right I asked your mama

Wait a minute officer; wait a minute officer Don't put those handcuffs on me, what about her? Hey, I'll share her with you!

I don't like anything about this man but I have a hard time condemning anyone for doing whatever they could to avoid being forced into the Vietnam war.

Nah, fuck Nugent. Not sure why? Here's an excerpt from his '79 High Times interview.

But you know the funny thing about it? I’d make an incredible army man. I’d be a colonel before you knew what hit you, and I’d have the baddest bunch of motherf*ckin’ killers you’d ever seen in my platoon. But I just wasn’t into it. I was too busy doin’ my own thing, you know?

He was pro war at the fucking time. Condemn away. He's also a pedophile, but then again, chickenhawk pedophiles seem to make up the rank and file of the GOP these days.

Further, he could have volunteered for the Navy, and spent his time on a boat or here stateside, if he wanted to serve his country when called anyway. (I'm not into that personally, but he makes a big deal out of that shit.)

Want to read the rest of why that guy's a piece of human shit? Snopes has a bigger chunk of it for you to be disgusted with. Knock yourself out.

Well you see. He shit his pants to not go to the vietnam war yet he is pro war.

He knows what he said

if they have money of course.

"Hey guys, here's my '89 Bronco I just finished rebuilding!"

"That's ok and everything but did you know TED NUGENT IS A PIECE OF SHIT??!!"

Like Elvis, like Jerry Lee Lewis, like that dickhead from the Rolling Stones who was dating a 13 year old when he was 47. Exactly like that.

A trend has to exist to get lampooned effectively.

Like 1/5 of all rock songs written pre 85 were about sleeping with underage girls. Jail bait rock song is literally a sub genre. Steely Dan, winger, the Beatles, Rolling Stones, jerry lee Lewis all have songs

This one is bad. From spinal tap.

“You’re sweet, but you’re just four feet / And you still got your baby teeth / You’re too young, and I’m too well hung / But tonight I’m gonna rock ya.”

Edit: People don’t make parodies of things unless they are systemic throughout the genre, which was my point.

Some of those draft dodgers.

Dancing queen is about a 17 year old but it isn't aboiut sex with a 17 year old.

I really wish I could find a clip from some show like 60-minutes or 20/20 or one of those shows from the 90s where they were interviewing him about hunting, guns, etc. They asked him his thoughts on religion, and his response was something to the tune of, "I think religion is good for wars, killing, and that's about it."

I remember it differently. I think he found out she was 14 after they had sex and that he didn't see her again.

Also, he lost his virginity to his dad's 18-year-old girlfriend when he was 12

Edit: read that bit again. He totally has sex with her after finding out... what the fuck?

Fuck Hollywood and its culture

Jailbait means "young enough to charge you with statutory rape, even if she looks older." It's a term that's really about how young girls can look considerably older than they are, and you need to be extra careful.

Assuming you wanted a serious answer and not the shitfest of replies that you got.

To be honest, I will not fight in a war that I do not want to fight in either.

I'd break my leg if it would get me out of it.

Shitting my pants seems like a better alternative.

For the record, I think Nugent was is an asshole anyway, but him shitting his pants means nothing to me.

yep 14 actually, and the lead singer said that she told him she was 14 and then they had sex again. its in his book

Yeah! If only they were as humble as me! I received the Nobel Honor, the Medal of Peace Prize, the Hero of the Soviet Union ... thingy, Corellian Bloodstripes, Order of Merlin First Class, Witch Weekly's Most Smuggiest Smile, the WWE Most Punchable Face, among many other awards for bravery, intelligence, a cowboy hat, and stuff but you don't see me bragging about it.

walmart patriotism

i've been seeing this a lot lately with the NFL stuff

Not that I've ever even listened to Nugent or would defend him but people really just flat out ignore the HUGE list of popular songs about underage girls.

Aerosmith - walk this way

Ringo starr - you're sixteen

Rolling Stones - stray blue cat blues

Kiss - goin blind AND Cristine sixteen

The knack - my Sharona

Chuck berry - sweet little sixteen

Stevie nicks - edge of seventeen

Foreigner - hot blooded

Abba - dancing Queen

Van Morrison - Cyprus avenue

Neil diamond - girl you'll be a woman soon

Eric Clapton - jailbait

Motorhead - jailbait

Styx - Jennifer

I could go on for hundreds of bands, nearly every big artist from the '50-90's had at least one song about a young groupie that they wanted to fuck but couldn't or a song with a story about fucking a girl that was too young. It's evidently an issue in the music scene..

Oh hey, it's that thing where you can't call out any bad behavior without equally calling out every single instance of that bad behavior ever in all of recorded history or else something something because these arguments never seem to play out fully and it's ridiculously obvious that that's exactly the point.

Why is Tom Petty dead and Ted Nugent still alive? God has a twisted sense of humour.

Somebody watched Last Week Tonight this weekend :)

Seriously though, you’d think that pedophiles are just awful and a safe target that all normal people can just issue a blanket condemnation without argument; Guess not...

I think it is actually possible to be a patriot and not want to serve in Vietnam. But Ted Nugent is definitely an asshole and a loser.

The difference is that most people that dodge the draft shut the fuck up about it.

He went on and on about how clever he was for getting out of it and then later on said shit like how he would've been the most badass soldier the army ever had, how he'd be promoted to colonel in like a week or some shit.

Let’s not forget about God, knocking up an underage Mary.

Don't the Red Hot Chili Peppers have a song about sex with a 13 year old? Catholic Girls Rule?

Whatabouttism

Not surprising. This is the guy who is a conservative hawk these days, but when it was his time to serve

From a high times interview in '77

I got my physical notice 30 days prior to. Well, on that day I ceased cleansing my body. No more brushing my teeth, no more washing my hair, no baths, no soap, no water. Thirty days of debris build. I stopped shavin' and I was 18, had a little scraggly beard, really looked like a hippie. I had long hair, and it started gettin' kinky, matted up. Then two weeks before, I stopped eating any food with nutritional value. I just had chips, Pepsi, beer-stuff I never touched-buttered poop, little jars of Polish sausages, and I'd drink the syrup, I was this side of death, Then a week before, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. poop, piss the whole shot. My pants got crusted up.

[...]

So I went in, and those guys in uniform couldn't believe the smell. They were ridiculin' me and pushin' me around and I was cryin', but all the time I was laughin' to myself. When they stuck the needle in my arm for the blood test I passed out, and when I came to they were kicking me into the wall. Then they made everybody take off their pants, and I did, and this sergeant says, "Oh my God, put those back on! You fucking swine you!" Then they had a urine test and I couldn't piss, But my poop was just like ooze, man, so I poop in the cup and put it on the counter. I had poop on my hand and my arm. The guy almost puked. I was so proud. I knew I had these chumps beat. The last thing I remember was wakin' up in the ear test booth and they were sweepin' up. So I went home and cleaned up.

[...]

But you know the funny thing about it? I'd make an incredible army man. I'd be a colonel before you knew what hit you, and I'd have the baddest bunch of motherfuckin' killers you'd ever seen in my platoon. But I just wasn't into it.

It's the end that really killed me. Honestly I don't mind dodging the draft, I strongly oppose the notion of a draft unless there is an imminent existential threat. But don't be a massive hypocritical douchebag with an inflated ego. And don't pretend to be a huge patriot later on.

Like Jimmy Page, like Steven Tyler...

There's nothing wrong with dodging the draft so long as you maintain some consistency. If you dodge the draft and then later in life take on warhawk tendencies? Well, now you're just a hypocritical piece of garbage. That's the problem, and it needs to be re-iterated again and again and again until people actually understand that.

Really nothing to do with Hollywood specifically and more just famous people and people in power, as our politicians have recently shown

Well yeah, how is Ted Nugent at all relevant to the Ford Bronco refurbish company facebook page?

That's some week shit.

What the* fuck, why would ANYONE publish this song. First why was it made, second why did someone actually approve this.

It's a song about wanting to rape a 13 year old. People are allowed to be bothered by that.

Yeah he talks about it in his book. Fucked a 14 year old, then she told him she was 14, and they fucked again.

http://www.screencast.com/t/Ih5Y9WUd

After the rash of Hollywood actors being outed for their misconduct, I thought the ONE THING I could depend on was the unimpeachable decency of moral paragon Ted Nugent. What a tragedy.

Were any of Elvis's songs about handcuffing a prepubescent girl and raping her along with the help of a police officer?

The song is from his live album Intensities in 10 Cities

The very next track on that album after "Jailbait" is "I Am a Predator"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intensities_in_10_Cities#Track_listing

For like.. a week.

He stopped using a restroom or changing pants a week before his examination.

I mean as much as I think Ted Nugent is a piece of shit, it is a song. If we are gonna get mad about song lyrics we are gonna have to get mad about A LOT of songs.

But still... fuck Ted Nugent

To be fair... spinal tap was a parody band

But you know the funny thing about it? I'd make an incredible army man. I'd be a colonel before you knew what hit you, and I'd have the baddest bunch of motherfuckin' killers you'd ever seen in my platoon. But I just wasn't into it.

He'd make an amazing internet tough guy, you know, the kind that always talks about how he'll save the world with his guns but never does.

It's funny how pro-war people are when they know they don't have to fight.

Dory McClean

Was this the inspiration for the Metalocalypse episode about

“Colonel with his own platoon of badass killing machines” (paraphrasing).

Like... no, man. That is not how the chain of command works. If you’re a Colonel you’re usually doing desk stuff and organizing, logistics, planning. What a fucking chump, to dodge the draft in such a fucking disgusting way, and then proclaim to be a war hawk. A man so badass he has deer brought to a fenced in area for him to shoot. Nugent is a fucking disgusting human being.

Order of Merlin First Class

Didn't they revoke that for that cock-and-bull story you and that scruffy-haired kid made up about that evil snake dude being alive and kicking?

She was asking for it with the outfit she was wearing.

http://www.screencast.com/t/Ih5Y9WUd

why is everyone garbage

Like Elvis you mean?

With how we conduct warfare now, yes. But it used to be about just having bodies. Also, up through WWII getting a draft was felt as more of a duty. Vietnam was so unpopular and violent that people did whatever they could to get out of it.

I don't try and belittle draft dodgers during the vietnam war. It would have been like drafting people for our involvement with Syria. Where is Syria and why are we going there?

Is he Count Olaf?

A few on his list are like that.

What the actual fuck

Anthony Keidis

cough cough OJ cough

He did marry her, which suggests it's at least better than advocating rape, but really, I'm not trying to suggest that Elvis was a great guy simply because he isn't as bad as Nugent. I'm just suggesting there's a gradient between virtue and evil, and it's possible to be more evil than someone else who is pretty bad.

Also, according to Priscilla, they didn't have sex until they were married when she was 22, and the official claim is that Elvis liked to be around young girls (13-15) but wasn't sexual with them, in the same way that Michael Jackson liked to be around children.

They don't care what someone did or didn't do, as long as they're on their side.

I've been waiting to tell reddit my uncle's Ted Nugent story...here we go. So my uncle who plays guitar idolized the Nuge in the 70's. He lived in St. Louis and got to see him play countless times. During a Who concert, uncle catches the neck of the guitar Pete Townsend had smashed. His best buddy who works backstage at a venue filches a guitar strap from the Nuge. They trade, neck for strap. Uncle only gets the strap with the intention of returning it to the Nuge and getting to meet his idol. Next show the Nuge has in St. Louis, Uncle goes to the backstage door and tries to get in. He tells security, tell the Nuge I have his guitar strap. They let uncle back to see the Nuge. Uncle walks into dressing room holding the strap to find the Nuge in tightie whities bum rushing him and grabbing the strap while cursing him for being a thief. Uncle gets the boot from the venue and can't even watch the show.

Eminem wrote about raping his own mom.

Must be a Detroit thing

Alot of people think religion causes the majority of war and killing

And now he's an NRA board member!

How about the fact that he later denied having ever said that, and went on to say that if he had signed up for the army he would have been made a colonel?

But you know the funny thing about it? I'd make an incredible army man. I'd be a colonel before you knew what hit you, and I'd have the baddest bunch of motherfuckin' killers you'd ever seen in my platoon. But I just wasn't into it.

It's not the fact that he was a draft-dodger. It's his monumental hypocrisy and bravado that make him a piece of shit.

https://www.snopes.com/politics/military/nugent.asp

http://www.rgj.com/story/news/2015/06/03/fact-checker-ted-nugent-draft-dodging-claim-revisited/28...

My biggest issue is that a lot of people get so damn angry over the protests by players but have no problem whatsoever with the NFL whoring out veterans and the military as a whole in order to sell their product.

Oh, now he's raping his own mother, abusing a whore, snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?

Scorpions' Virgin Killer album cover. Look it up. Or don't. Lyrics are just lyrics but that album cover is really terrible.

Man was in his 30's

While youre not entirely wrong, some of these are about being in high school. They are songs meant to appeal to the high school demographic, not meant to fantasize about going back to high schools to get laid when you're 30.

Nugent's is very specifically about a sex crime

I don't see the relation here.

It's patriotic to get drafted into a war in another country that never attacked us?

He didn't "hook up with her" he courted her, married her at 22 and then had sex with his adult wife who he then cared for for the rest of her life.

Nuge thinks its patriotic to blast away at the middle east now.

thats the problem

Steven Tyler is from Aerosmith, not the Rolling Stones

No. He just wanted to hang with petty. Who wouldnt? Nugent will be here with us for years and years im sure. Nobody wants wants that dick at their party

There's nothing wrong with dodging the draft so long as you maintain some consistency. If you dodge the draft and then later in life take on warhawk tendencies? Well, now you're just a hypocritical piece of garbage. That's the problem, and it needs to be re-iterated again and again and again until people actually understand that.

A 24 year old "courting" a 14 year old is gross.

I get that it was a different time but if we're going to hold some accountable then we should hold all accountable.

if you're 17, jailbait is 13

Him being rich isn't the part of this post that bothered me, but to each their own.

Let's not forget that Ringo Starr wrote a song called "You're Sixteen" back in 1973. I am sure there are many other examples... "Christine Sixteen" by Kiss comes to mind...

Statutory rape was held in rather fond regard relatively recently...

Vile human being. I hope his death is long and rife with pain and suffering that is unbearable.

Oh! Yeah that's definitely correct.

I'm just saying, a low level song writer trying to make their way sure in the fuck couldn't do something like this, even if they eventually change the words. They'd be ruined forever.