TIL special care was taken while restoring Shakespeare's grave to ensure that his bones remained untouched as the epitaph on his tombstone reads: "Good friend, for Jesus' sake forbear, to dig the dust enclosed here. Blessed be the man that spares these stones, and cursed be he that moves my bones."

TIL special care was taken while restoring Shakespeare's grave to ensure that his bones remained ...

"Cursed be he..."

Should've got a woman to do it.

Fool! No man can kill me.

I am no man

Autistic screeech face stabbies and soda can crinkle

I bet someone accidentally touched a bone and still is silently frightened every night.

Religious or not respecting ones wishes is doing the job properly, within reason anyway. Good on them I say.

For none of woman born shall harm MacBeth.

Well that's a very... specific... sound effect.

There was definitely a guy called William Shakespeare (of various spelling).

There are some theories about whether he wrote all of the plays that are attributed to him.

So, first of all for the non-speculative part. Shakespeare had a son named Hamnet who died in 1596 (a full 20 years before his father in 1616) at the age of 11.

Now onto the speculation!

Some historians have argued that Shakespeare was actively writing or began writing King John after his son's death.


In King John, a character named Constance delivers what is, for my money, some of the best Shakespeare ever written (and rarely read or performed) from among his whole catalogue.

Grief fills the room up of my absent child,

Lies in his bed, walks up and down with me,

Puts on his pretty looks, repeats his words,

Remembers me of all his gracious parts,

Stuffs out his vacant garments with his form;

Then, have I reason to be fond of grief?

Fare you well: had you such a loss as I,

I could give better comfort than you do.

I will not keep this form upon my head,

When there is such disorder in my wit.

O Lord! my boy, my Arthur, my fair son!

My life, my joy, my food, my all the world!

My widow-comfort, and my sorrows' cure!

We think of Shakespearean language as so foreign and inscrutable quite often, but in reality much of it is incredibly readable, and some of the best of his work is stated in some of the simplest, oldest words we have. Grief is the thing that I have now instead of my son. My son, "My life, my joy, my food, my all the world!" My food the very thing that sustains her. These are just, to me, the words of a man who has truly, and recently, experienced the loss of a child.

Now, during the Elizabethan era, it was fairly common for cemetaries to, 'fill up' and for bodies to be disinterred and the bones moved or destroyed to make room for more bodies. This typically happened every 5-7 years.


What play does Shakespeare write exactly within that time frame? Hamlet (see wiki link above) And where does Hamlet find himself? A graveyard. And what does he do but pick up the disinterred skull of a playful jester he knew and lament,

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy; he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar?"

"Those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft". "Where be your gibes now? Your gambols?" tends to get the most attention, but it's the kisses that I think betray a secret. At the time, I believe, Shakespeare would not have been wealthy or well-known enough to merit his son's bones lying undisturbed and here he is, facing the death of his son yet again in the fact that he knows that his body so peacefully lain to rest would be churned up and thrown in a charnel house like so many other nameless faceless corpses. Can you imagine how that would feel? I think Shakespeare could and I think he's telling us.

So his epitaph I think is not just a sort of theatrical warning, though I do think it was that too, and I do think he meant it as such, but also as a plea. Please do not do to me in death that which you so callously did to my son.

Shakespeare is endlessly interesting, his epitaph is just one of the thousand things about him that is absolutely amazing.

End Speculation/Opinion!

EDIT: Edited for some odd/redundant phrasing.

To pee or not to pee.

Shakespeare looks remarkably similar to Charlie Day.

but really

Despair thy charm, and let the angel whom thou still hast served tell thee, Macduff was from his mother’s womb untimely ripped!

Autistic screeech face stabbies and soda can crinkle


*crushes mountain dew can*

Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/1704/

Fly, you fools!

aspiration of man punched in gut

pile of potato chips crushed under foot

That is the burning question

You know we didn't exhume Shakespeare? They were restoring his grave site, no excavation or exploration we know exactly where he was buried and how it's suppose to look.

Wait, isn't there some small controversy around Shakespeare even existing as a single person? How can this be if there's a designated grave?

This Shakespeare guy sure had a way with words

It's definitely a bullying thing. The popularization of using "ree" as an insult comes from 4chan.

Some claim Shakespeare had a hand in helping prepare the King James Bible. At the time of the writing, he would have been 46 years old. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the beginning, in Hebrew, means Shake, and the 46th word from the end is Spear once translated to English.

It is also theorized that Shakespeare was a number of people writing under one pen name, hence why the grave may give a warning, as to keep the secret from getting out.

Okay. Perhaps from persons far deeper on the spectrum than my associates. It does seem a weirdly bullying term for someone to use but society has only just progressed beyond calling everything they dislike 'gay' or 'retarded'.

If you're looking for a real answer, I can offer a small anecdote of mine:

I spent my early to mid 20s as a Baskin Robbins manager. One of our regulars was a woman, whom I got to know over the course of several years, and her severely autistic son. I watched this boy grow from about 5 to 10 years old and unfortunately he never developed language skills beyond a shrill screeching sound. Lovely woman, loving mother, just a very sad situation.

At the time of the writing, he would have been 46 years old. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the beginning, in Hebrew, means Shake, and the 46th word from the end is Spear once translated to English.

Yet the very Wiki article you link to says the 1506 Geneva Bible, which the KJV was based on, also has those coincidental words.

There's no legitimate Shakespeare scholar who thinks he didn't write the plays commonly attributed to him. The most controversial stances are about which plays he co-wrote with someone else.

Anne hath a way too.

You should probably get that checked out

My exact thought

Username checks out.

Typical creative temperament

It's the rule of the internet, before there was internet. Everyone is a he until proven otherwise.

I know you're kidding but he can be used as a gender neutral term if you don't know the gender of someone.

He died a few hundred years ago, his grave's been there a while, presumably with fuckloads of tourists visiting it all year.

I AM Gnome Ann!

Not. Yet.

What is an autistic screech? I have friends and family with autism and have never heard this thing.

the singular they is older than Shakespeare

The BBC did a documentary not long ago about Shakespeare's grave. Although they didn't disturb it, they did scan the area and found he was buried in a shallow grave that appeared to have been disturbed at some point.

They also reckoned that his skull is missing and was possibly stolen by 19th century grave robbers or something.

EDIT: It wasn't the BBC, it was channel4

All the lyrics to Day Man were written in iambic pentameter

Either that or he has already died under mysterious circumstances

Have you ever considered people avoid you, not because you offend them with your wit, but because you're completely insufferable?

Lol thanks for that.

It may have started that way originally, but it's used by many here on reddit now in association with autism specifically.

I believe the thinking is that the words on his grave were a warning to try and stop graverobbing.

The theory he didn't exist doesn't really hold. We know more of shakespeare than almost any other person of similar standing. Much of the 'evidence' is based on either snobbery, the mysts of time or viewing things through modern eyes.

I like to imgaine that someone decided it would be cool to steal Shakespeare's skull and maybe use it in a Hamlet production.

So what your saying ... is you wouldn't have done the job. Ok noted so likely don't apply for that type of job eh? Not why even post this - what ever religion you choose to be you would not have done that job .. Swell um wonderful..

I am of the same mind to my wife's cooking.

I'm Catholic and would not have touched that plate that had such a concoction on it. I feel if it's to be eaten it should be done by people with no fear doing so.....

In the linked article it says they restored the church he is buried in, not just his grave.

TL DR; of it is that although there are records of a William Shakespeare from Stratford but not much evidence to link him to the plays.

This just isn't true. We can establish that Shakespeare of Stratford was Shakespeare the Player who was Shakespeare the playwright who was Shakespeare the business man who owned a share in the Lord Admiral's/King's Men as well as the Globe and Blackfriars theatres.

Everything 'discovered' by the woman in the article has been long known by Shakespeare scholars.


Rattle me bones as I cross the floor and the bones in your grave will rattle no more.

Some claim Shakespeare had a hand in helping prepare the King James Bible.

Not like, scholars, or anything, but some people.