TIFU by telling my supervisor that his wife(also mother of two) is a cheating bitch.
I'll start with some quick backstory. I recently moved and took a pretty good job sandblasting in Greensboro. Probably the best job I've had so far. The crew I work with are pretty cool and the job itself is pretty fun. My supervisor has a goofy/comedic personality but does a great job balancing that side of him while also being a good supervisor, so this to me is perfect.
So earlier today my supervisor and I were chatting during our break and somehow got on the topic of cheaters/breakups . I mentioned to him a relationship I had 15 years ago where I was cheated on. He asked if I ever got back in touch with her and I said no. He then asked if I ever looked her up on Facebook, and I told him I never had urge to want to see her again and called her a "cheating bitch" (big mistake this was.) So after pushing me to look her up, I get on FB and look her up and sure enough I find her(The profile pic was just of her). I show him the picture and he starts laughing thinking it's a joke. He then asks how I knew she was his wife? So I also start laughing thinking he's joking with me.
I scroll over to the next profile picture and see them together with their kids. I've never felt such a feeling of confusion and fear like this in my life. I immediately remembered hearing from a friend a while back that she ended up moving to Greensboro but i completely forgot about that when I moved. I apologize to my supervisor but my mind was so shocked I'm not quite sure I was making sense. He seemed to take it ok and said it's not a big deal, that this was a long time ago. And we went back to work.
So now I'm freaking out about if he's gonna tell his wife (my ex) about what happened and how she's gonna react. He seemed fine leaving work but if it was me I'd be wondering all sorts of things about our past relationship that would eat at me. What are the chances something like this happens? Why couldn't I have pulled up the profile pic first and just keep my mouth shut. Tomorrow should be interesting.
TL;DR Moved for a good job. I called my ex a "cheating bitch" in a conversation at work. Found out she's now my supervisor's wife. May not have a job soon.
Edit 1: As I'm reading through my story I see I could of filled in more details to make things more clear so apologies(my first TIFU post) Getting ready for work so I'll try and update seeing how this blew up overnight.
Edit 2: He's been pulled away on a side project today so not sure what time I'll get to see him. But I appreciate all the feedback and tips. I'm beginning to agree with most people saying I probably got brought up in their convo and got lead into to that topic. But I'll try and respond to as many comments as I can. Will update when something happens.
Edit 3: So found out he's out on lunch break until around 1230. We'll be working together when he gets back. Going through comments I agree saying losing my job was a bit overreacting. I'm now expecting more of an awkward tension between us. Not sure how I would feel if this were the other way around. 15 years is long enough to move past most things.
Edit 4: So it didn't take long before he came up to me and started chatting. Right off the bat starts with "so I told my wife about what you said, and she wanted me to tell you that you're a little bitch!" And immediately burst into laughter. Welp, not what I was expecting but I went with it and laughed with him. He goes on telling me how she knew I started working there from her friends(not sure who yet) and told him about us dating before. Told him everything. I again apologize feeling like he might of taken some offense, but quickly realized he didn't give a fuck after he made a comment about how he knew she was a dirty girl before but she's now only dirty for him :/ But we keep talking and come to find out he was trying to find out what I thought of his wife (my ex) while keeping it secret. The opportunity came up in convo yesterday and I fell for it. But he said he didn't expect what I said and though it would be "hilarious" to tell his wife about it first before letting me know. So everything seems cool he said he hopes that doesn't make anything awkward between us and shook my hand. He did however mention that him and his wife wanted to me to hang out and meet the family this weekend. Not sure about that just yet. But either way I wanted to thank you guys. Going through the comments helped make some sense out of this and put my mind at ease a bit. Seen a lot of people calling this in advance but I was so mindfucked I didn't see it.
Edit 4.5: He's not the same guy I caught her cheating with. Seen a few people ask about that. Neither of them have Reddit, they're both Facebook junkies according to him. And I'm not sure I'm cool calling this guy my eskimo brother. Seems.....odd.
Your boss will probably talk about this with his wife/your ex, but I can't imagine that you will lose your job over this. It might become awkward, though. Truth or not, be sure to know that your ex will inevitably say some things about you, and those things will in turn 'color' your boss's perception of you and may act accordingly. This is like finding an extremely unwanted pin in a haystack you never wanted to be in.
Yea I know the probability of me losing my job over this is slim. I'm just freaking out a little since everything was going perfect until now. I guess I'm worried about how this will pan out over time.
I can imagine. Let's hope that tomorrow will be just another day.
Thanks a lot. I'm hoping this just blows over like nothing happened.
I wouldn't worry about it, just put it down to a case of "6 degrees of seperation".
You didnt know she was his wife before calling her a cheating bitch.
the conspiracy theorist in me thinks that maybe youve come up in conversation at home, she asked to see a picture of the guy her husband mentioned and recognized you, and told him. exactly how hard did he push you to look her up?
please update tomorrow/next week/a month from now lol
Please update us, what are the fucking odds it would be your sups wife, probably astronomical!
I mentioned to him a relationship I had 15 years ago where I was cheated on. He asked if I ever got back in touch with her and I said no. He then asked if I ever looked her up on Facebook, and I told him I never had urge to want to see her again and called her a "cheating bitch" (big mistake this was.) So after pushing me to look her up
This isnt a normal thing that people do.
Yea I completely get that. I can't sleep with my mind boggled at the chances of this happening. But he didn't push much at all. I'm still new so I had a "fuck it why not" attitude. He had already told me his story and was being pretty open, so me being reserved didn't seem fair. At the time.
I know! I thought the same thing. Caught me so off guard my mind went blank for a few seconds haha. But I'll try and post some sort of update tomorrow for those that are interested.
I believe you mean "six degrees of penetration." The fact that that you've both moved and now have a common link is incredibly coincidental and interesting. Let's hope he just has a conversation and she doesn't drop any bombs on him like "Oh, I never stopped cheating on my SO's. I just got better at hiding it!"
If you're talking about the supervisor yep I agree. It's like he already knew
OP is fired and his ex caused it so she could sleep with him. Old boss offers the job back after discovering the wife is a cheating bitch. Cheating bitch moves to a new city and the cycle continues.
OP UPDATE IN 3 YEARS!
Jeez, need to know how this pans out...
I bet your boss already knew all of this and was just joking when you came up with the picture I mean he's the one that pushed you to do it to begin with. I bet your boss is the guy she was actually cheating on you with.
I wouldn't worry about it. You had no idea that was his wife when you called her a cheating bitch, so it's not like you meant to insult him personally. Plus it was many years ago and I'm sure, as with most people, she was a different person back then and he probably understands that and won't think much of it.
I mean, chances are most people have an ex that have something bad to say because we all do dumb shit at some point in our lives.
Ask for a threesome, that should clear any tensions
I remember her telling me that her dad wanted her to "focus on school" and didn't want us dating at the moment. So we kept it "secret" until I caught her with another guy at a mutual friend's house. So I feel bad for my supervisor and all, but she was dirty
Not OP, but just want to let you know my life is going well!
And the boss says..."You should have seen his face! I thought he was going to shit his pants right there!"
OP's boss will go home and say to his wife, "remember that guy I 'stole you away from' 15 years ago? He's only fucking working for me now! I was worried he'd be pissed, but he seems to be taking it ok"
For the longest time this breakup stuck with me. I kept wondering what I've done wrong and what could of been but I've felt this way because she was my first serious and at that time, longest relationship. But I get people change and I'm sure she's different now. God knows I've made stupid decisions. I've moved on from that part of my life so I'm hoping my boss sees it the same way tomorrow and it isn't as awkward as I'm expecting.
Do some people literally not believe in coincidences? Really?
Damn that girl got passed around a lot huh? 😂 Poor dude keeps running into guys that fucked his wife.
Yeah, somehow I think this was setup by the boss. Who would ask someone to facebook their cheating ex? Seems like he mentioned OP to his wife and she told him that they used to date once. So then boss just wanted to fuck with OP by having him look up his ex.
It was 15 years ago bro, you'll be fine. Even if she says super nasty stuff, again it was FIFTEEN YEARS AGO.
This would be (imo) the best outcome as it would only make the supervisor feel indifferent in the situation.
He got the girl, still has her, no life change on his end - so it's a wash.
Update: ex/sups wife is now dead. Sup is in jail. OP is now CEO of the company. OPs mom had sex with all of us.
How do you like being eskimo brothers with your boss?
Probably best to ask to arrange a threesome to get rid of the akwardness.
If it makes you feel any better some coworkers and I were out for drinks the other night. My ex (together for 2.5, apart for 1 now) comes up in a discussion about human garbage, and a girl I don't really know in my office gets this horrified, confused look of progressive realization on her face. Like she was hit with a ton of bricks right there and I saw it. Yeah she fucked my ex when we were together, and very clearly had no idea he was with anyone at the time.
We agreed right then and there to never speak of it again. It's been weird at the water cooler, but whatre ya gonna do.
I was worried, homie. Thanks and take care.
The wife had heard your name when the supervisor mentioned the new hire prior to your conversation about FB with the supervisor. Hubby and wife talked before you had the convo with boss. This was bosses way of bringing up the fact that his wife used to date you.
He pulled you into this. And who hasn't called a cheater a bitch?
I have a feeling he said her name and the supervisor was like hmmmm my wifes name is (first last), so he put the pressure on.
Haha I don't think he intentionally steered it that way. It's possible his wife somehow knew I worked there and asked her husband to find out what I think of her now? Idk none of it makes sense to me. But we began talking about typical guy stuff. I was asking about the dating life in Greensboro and we got to talking about dating different ethnicities. I remembered my ex(his wife) because she is columbian and brought up how race didn't matter to me as long as they are faithful yada yada yada. What are the chances.
your ex will inevitably say some things about you
This is what shuts me up sometimes when I get the urge to start ragging on my ex. I think about her ragging on me, and I realize a lot of her criticisms would be pretty much spot on.
I mean, don't get me wrong, she was a crazy bitch. But, well, turns out I'm no big prize either.
He might have been testing to see if they were still hooking up
Please update this post op
Serious advice...scrolls down... more advice, analyze the situation ... scrolls down... what are the chances.... scrolls down.... yada yada more of the same.... scrolls down.... sees this.... don't ever change reddit... *leaves thread edit:formatting
It was 15 years ago so hopefully she's matured/ changed.
Once a cheater always a cheater, nom sayn?
OP actually did not consider that this guy might be the guy she cheated with... though 15 years... probably not.
Yeah. I get on well enough with my boss that she knows I have a cheating ex but she didn't "push" me to look him up on Facebook in front of her, who does that?
If you were young, a teenager or in your 20's, then I don't think anyone would care. People do change a lot and there's a big difference between casual dating when you're young and a serious marriage. I probably wouldn't bring it up again but you should be fine.
Can't turn a ho into a house wife, feel me?
Either someone extremely unprofessional or more likely, someone who already knew.
Mr. Change His Job
Had a bitch of an ex
He told his boss about it
The guy who signs his checks
We should look her up
He pried into his life
And when her profile came up, he said
"Hey, isn't that my wife?!"
Im wondering how the conversation got onto the subject of cheating.. Did the supervisor steer the convo that way? Could be that he was already thinking what you said and looking for some advice or assurance. Got more than he was expecting either way haha.
I think he knew. This whole scenario plays out really strange if he didn't know.
I've could never imagine someone not very close to me telling me to look up someone who I have stated is long in the past and treated me poorly. If he didn't know he's kinda a shitty person, because looking up old lost flames (especially those who fucked you over) is just bad mojo. Let it go, let it go...
You should write an advice column.
When i was reading the post thats what i thought had happened. I thought the boss knew the whole time and was fucking with OP.
Married with two kids in the meantime? Depending how old the kids are it's a distinct possibility.
Ya, agreed. Some people take casual for more serious though. Got called a cheater by a boy I was sleeping with once because I thought we were both seeing other people as well. I mean he even went to my mom's house to tell her she raised an awful daughter. My mom! I was 20! Explaining to my mom I thought we were just fucking was awkward to say the least. To this day, I have never figured out how he knew where my mom even lived. Honestly, I dodged a fucking bullet.
For OP the odds are astronomical, but for the likelihood something like this would be posted on reddit is tending towards 1.
Because there are millions of people around the world that would post this to TIFU / reddit if this happened to them, so it would was bound to happen to one of them sooner rather than later.
And here we are.
But how is YOUR life, friendo?
That was my very first thought... why would he push you like that to look it up?
You could have called her much worse, I'd not stress it. They're probably laughing about it, especially if he's the one she was screwing with...
It's a free ride when you've already paid.
Agreed, especially considering OP has the number 86 in their name. If that's a reference to their birth year then they're maybe 31 now...so they're talking about shit that went down when they were 16 in that case
No, the firing happened because Boss Found ex rekindling with OP.
I hope you didn’t tell your supervisor that part...
Just gotta wait for R Kelly to make an appearance.
Wait until hes scrolling on reddit and end up on this thread
That really sucks, but the human garbage person is obviously the one at fault in that situation lol. I am glad you do not hold bad feelings towards her.
Remind Me! Three years
People generally don't talk about cheaters unless they are suspecting they may be cheated on or were cheated on.
I'm willing to bet the supervisor kind of guessed he might have been who his wife mentioned about years ago. He just wanted to make sure it was him. Probably suspecting his wife is cheating.
I see this too often. OP is probably fine. It's the supervisor's marriage that may not be.
Eh, it actually is. My SO works in a boat yard in NC and this is exactly the kind of shit they do. Every day I hear a new story about how someone's ex is a porn star/stripper/mom now/whatever or some tinder story from hell... and they look the women up and show each other.
I wouldn't think about this story from the perspective of a professional or corporate environment.
If you stick with it a year or so, she might do the same thing to him. Then you will be like buddlies for life.
Obviously people mature and behave differently with age, but what if you telling him about what happened opens his eyes to some other weird behaviour he had previously brushed off and he finds out she was cheating on him too? Lol. You guys could be Eskimo bros for life, maybe even become roommates :p
It should probably be mentioned that 15 years is a long time and we don't know how old OP and his ex were at the time that this happened. People grow and change, and 15 years is a long time in which to do so. That girl at 15, for example, might have made some stupid mistakes that she wouldn't at 30. Just a thought.
The plot would thicken...
OP would then, for sure, be royally fucked. Figuratively and literally.
That could also be a win. So I'm indifferent here, win-win as far as I can tell.
That's what I thought. It seems weird that he pushed him to look her up on Facebook. I wonder if OP and the boss were Facebook friends and the wife saw him on there.
So you had sex with your boss's wife ?
The odds of something like this being posted to reddit after it's already been posted are exactly 1.
Shit, I'd lose my mind. That's like the universe stepping in and being like "that's payback for being such a hoe." Haha, seriously though I'm hoping this does not happen
Nah. It was 15 years ago and she's married now. She's moved on. OPs boss and her are just gonna laugh about it in a "your not gonna believe what happened at work today, honey" kind of way.
i guess it all boils down to whether or not you believe in coincidences.
Yea, everyone is a piece of shit sometimes. Some of us realize it as well.
If he's a reasonable person you should be fine. You had no idea she was married to him when you insulted a person who had hurt you and it happened 15 years ago so even if she tells him nasty things about you he should have the sense to know people can change a lot in 15 years.
Fucking fantastic friendo. Thank you for asking :)
Yep. That whole situation seems too contrived. He knew. Once OP called her a cheating bitch, boss wanted it out in the open, for humble apologies or whatever. Why else would someone insist that you open Facebook and look up an ex, right that instant? Maybe his wife even outed herself a bit, so boss knew exactly how to bring it up, relating cheating ex stories etc.
It was forever ago anyway. I'm sure he doesn't care. In healthy marriages, people don't hold grudges about the silly things their spouse did in their youth.
Or the story is bullshit.
I don't think you understand how odds work.
Man, your boss deserves to know the truth of it all if she has't told him already. That's messed op by the guy if he gets pissed off and defensive, as the chick cheated on you. You have the right to say that about her especially since its not bullshit, and it actually happened. I would have done the same thing, and not apologized for it. I would have laughed at the guy and told him good luck.
See, normally something odd like this I find humor in it. But I'm kinda nervous about how this plays out down the road. More than likely nothing will come from it. I would, however, would love to hear the conversation of them talking this over right about now.
I want him to write my wedding vows.
The best thing you could do is just be honest with him and tell him that you don't want your past with his wife to interfere with the work you do.
You don't know. Maybe the wife will tell him that she was a cheating bitch back then, but has changed.
'Serious lack of comunication' Hey.. if there was serious lack of comunication and it turns out you are in different spots it's ok to be hurt, but if you consciously didn't talk about commitment you can't really blame the other person.. and hurting back? Searching the mother to tell her daughter is a bitch? Give me a break. If there's lack of comunication you should be aware that difference in opinions will happen. I've been in this literal situation (me being the guy, girl dating someone else) and yes i was hurt but i was aware i didnt ask for exclusivity and we didnt talk about it. At most i can say hey you should have known, i will not call her fucking mother.
She certainly dodged a bullet if the guy will react so extremly over something that wasn't cleared up by talking before.
Ya, OP; pretty sure boss is fucking with you—hopefully in a practical-jokey way and not in a manipulative-psycho way.
If he brings it up in passing, like 'you were joking about that yesterday, right?'
Just look at him, shake your head, and say 'small world man'. Maybe add something in there about how you hope she's matured emotionally from where she was when you were with her. If he presses you for details, you SHUT THE FUCK UP.
The entire story is, you dated, she cheated, you found out, you dumped her. end of fucking story. Don't tell him who she cheated with. Don't go into any deeper details. If he presses for details you go catholic-preist-caught-diddling-kids silent and give a stock response of 'I'm sorry, I can't say anything more, you're going to have to talk with your wife about that one. I haven't spoken to her in X years and she's probably not the same person I knew any more'.
Nah man, you can't be suspicious of every chill person in the world, even if they are your supervisor/manager/boss/whateverfancyterm
Average marriage length and divorce rates are very misleading. Serial divorcees skew the statistics a lot. If you get divorced once you are much more likely to get divorced a second and third time.
It was 15 years ago, people can change after a week. Its called growng up I believe. I stole a candy bar 15 years ago might as well tell every store I go into that story.
Not really. I know that we have tried to establish a culture of professionalism across the board but that's really not how it works IRL. I was a sup that people loved (mostly I wasn't a company man) I know some shit abobout my previous employees. Not because I asked, because they told me. And guess what, a few of them, that saved their employment, another one, it saved his marriage. Why? Because I was someone you interact with 8 hours a day. About the same amount of time you spend with anyone else in your life. You tell friends family and your SO when you hate your job. It's fairly natural to tell your boss when you hate your life. Not only that, bit a good one hears you and helps.keep your life and your job on track
Tldr: most humans have human interactions with the humans they interact with the most. Some humans care enough to stop other humans from melting down further.
We got a detective over here lol
"THEN I PULLED OUT GUN! ...Now I'm in the closet too."
Oh he ded
Yeah....odd thing to do out of the blue. You might be right...supervisor knew more than he let on.