TIFU by playfully carrying my gf to my car

TIFU by playfully carrying my gf to my car

This just happened a couple hours ago.

Both my gf and I were busy for valentine's day, so we postponed our dinner plans to Sunday night. I made reservations at a nice restaurant in one of the more quiet towns in our area. After a wonderful dinner, accompanied by a few glass of wine each, I decided it would be fun to pick her up and carry her to the car.

My gf is a very petite Asian girl. She's only 5 feet tall and probably only 95 lbs. She also isn't always a fan of me picking her up, as I usually do it without her consent and by throwing her over one shoulder.

As we enter the small parking structure were we parked, I lagged back and got a running start to pick her up. I run up behind her, grab her, and make a sprint to the car with her on my shoulder. During this she's laughing, demanding to be put down, and kind of shouting. I make it to the car, throw her in the passenger seat and get in the car. We briefly laugh about it and she's already forgiven me.

We exit the garage and start on our way home. About 10 min later as we're getting close to entering the freeway, a police car is behind me with the lights on. I pull over and the cop asks me right away to step out of the car. I ask whats going on and he said there was a report of an abduction that fit my cars description. I have to come to the front of his cruiser while he asks me what I was up to while his partner asked my girlfriend 3 times if she was being held against her will. After corroborating stories and an explanation, he laughs and let's us go. Apparently someone saw me carrying her to my car thought I was abducting her and called the police. One officer left his card with my gf and they left. We drove home and I got an ear full of "I told you so"s. I'll definitely think twice next time I want to pick her up for fun.

TL;DR: I almost caused an amber alert by trying to be playful with my lady.

If you were black we would be hearing about your death in the news.

Upon clicking on this post, I thought you were going to give her a header into a car door or the pavement. This TIFU is funnier.

He died a natural death after receiving 27 headshots. But at least he died with a clear conscience, as the police found out he was innocent in the preceding questioning

Haven't dropped her once! Although one time I did lift her into a ceiling fan, she now claims she has propellerphobia.

Not gonna lie, when I read "Asian girl" I was expecting OP to mistakenly abduct a different asian girl

You should have picked up the officer and thrown him in the passenger seat too.

Everyone should have propellerphobia. Getting shredded in a jet engine fan isn't fun.

I am left with the impression that in USA behind every window there's someone watching intently and holding a phone ready to dial 911 and to report any suspicious activity and brown looking people.

I have propellerphobia in a sense that, I have an irrational fear that ceiling fans will spontaneously become unlatched while spinning and just slice people on the way down. You'll never find me underneath one

I was going to correct you by saying it should be "proceeding," but it's funnier your way.

When you think sweeping a girl off her feet is romantic... Nope, it turns into the cops pulling you over thinking your an abductor.

This one helps when abducting someone.

I meant to say precending

That's lacist.

Don't pick up 2 girls at the same time

Don't wear her high heels while carrying her

Don't drop her

Don't pick up the wrong girl

Don't try walking on thin ice

Don't do it in a way that might be mistaken as an abduction.

Wait, so the cop gave her his "card" and left with her? Sounds like a fair trade.

or when "not" abducting someone.

I have to come to the front of his cruiser while he asks me what I was up to while his partner asked my girlfriend 3 times if she was being held against her will.

She should've said, "No, Officer - this is just how he asserts his dominance."

We're not all like that, maybe like 2-3%. Unfortunately that still means that each one of them only needs to watch over like 40 people, which is pretty easy to do. So chances are there will always be a paranoid racist watching over you in the states.

Two over a long dinner. He asked how much I had, I told him. He ran me through a couple tests before cutting me loose.

Rule 101 of picking women up: On your arms. Not over your shoulders.

What are the other 100 rules?

Nobody commenting on driving after a few glasses of wine? Few to me means three. Im usually feelin it after three and the cop didnt smell wine during what I assume was an intense bout of questions.

Understandable. Had a friend who was hit by a drunk and had to stop her ice skating career early. I'm very aware the costs associated with driving drunk and won't ever do it.


Two glasses of wine over a 2 hour dinner. If anything, I was very slightly buzzed.

I told the officer how much I'd had to drink that evening, he even had me do the finger counting test and did some of the field sobriety tests. I passed just fine, he could have got me for dui if I was not sober.

From an observer, she could have easily looked like a child, based on OP's description of her size. It's not unreasonable that this could cause an amber alert.

Aha. The weight of the fan is the worrisome aspect. They're slow and anything but sharp, but I find them distracting.