This duck couple hit the jackpot

This duck couple hit the jackpot

These two are the 'FUCKING KING AND QUEEN' of duck life!

PSA: Don't feed ducks bread, they love it but ducks who live off only bread will get severe malnutrition. If ducklings eat too much while growing up, the lack of essential nutrients will cause growth defects like abnormally short wings (called Angel Wings. Google it if you want to see some pretty sad pictures).

99% of the bread in this country is owned by 1% of the ducks.

Can confirm, ate nothing but bread sandwiches while growing up and my wings never developed at all.

I work at a bakery and we just grind up the old bread into breadcrumbs. What a waste.

“Hey babe, how you feel about McDonalds for date night?”

This actually works for people too

Maybe it is getting sold as like pig feed or something so they don't really care if birds shit in it or whatever. To just trash that many calories tho would be unconscionable.

No one is questioning why there is a dumpster full of baked bread? Jesus we humans are so fucking wasteful.

Birdie Sanders?

Aww yiss.

You could say they hit the.... quackpot

"Last we went there they forgot the onions."

It's not because they don't care, it's because there are laws against giving away unused food from eating establishments. They're forced to throw it out.

As opposed to France where they give their unused food to those in need.

john oliver

There's a on food waste that goes over that myth. It's just not true.

motha fuckin bread crumbs

Bread made with preservatives (like your typical grocery store white bread) retain moisture better as they age than breads made without preservatives (like your local bakery's baguette.)

Since the moisture gives mold something to feed off of, some old bread (with preservatives) molds, while other old bread (without preservatives) hardens.

Or it's the one which doesn't harden but molds instead.

The onions are dehydrated crap anyway, they did you a favor.

ducks hate dehydrated onions, they only like fresh grilled.

Original comic that this meme came from

(Hark! A Vagrant, by Kate Beaton)

(Hark! A Vagrant, by Kate Beaton)

Source... u/Captainroach cannot FLY.

What? Fowl play in the election?

Nothing.

https://www.massaudubon.org/learn/nature-wildlife/birds/don-t-feed-the-ducks

http://audubonportland.org/wcc/urban/waterfowl

http://www.dec.ny.gov/animals/7001.html

Looks like you are in bread.

Food pantries have more bread than they know what to do with.

What a bunch of quacks.

"...every day....dumpster full of bread...."

Glad that these ducks get to eat I guess. Sad some humans don't.

It's just one giant quackspiracy.

As of 8:43 a.m. PST altruyzm has been declared dead by local authorities. Cause of death has yet to be determined but preliminary results show one (1) Fisher-Price brand toy banana, composed of various plastics, lodged in throat.

Used to work at a grocery store. We threw away old bread every day. Asked why we don't give it to homeless shelters. They said that they can't give it to them because if there's any mold on it and someone gets sick, the grocery store can get sued.

If your phone had changed it to "ducking," this is the one case where it would have been acceptable.

Mallardnutrition?

Awful demand forecasting.

What a waste

My homies say otherwise.

Yup, as I said above, manager of a food pantry here. We get prepared food regularly. I can't speak to the laws/regulations in place, but I can say it is absolutely untrue at least in my state.

I can't help but ask... why is the store producing that much bread if it isn't being sold?

Yep. When I worked at a grocery store the deli would throw away pounds of food a day. Food that was made that day! Employees weren’t allowed to eat it nor could they give it away. Whole chickens, trays of Mac n cheese, potato wedges... all in the dumpster. It was horrible.

Got your back.

Many countries have now changed this law to prevent this type of shocking waste. Maybe the issue isn't how the bread expired after not selling and is now wasted, but instead why was so much more bread than could be sold produced in the first place?

Lucky ducks. Luckier than some humans who would gladly eat moldy bread.

Sorry if I am hijacking the humorous internet of your post OP. I have simply never seen an entire dumpster filled with wasted bread quite like this before, I'm a bit stunned.

McDonald’s?? Everyone knows ducks eat at Subway.

Wut

It took me a moment to understand your post, but it makes sense now.

I take it you're suggesting that preservatives in sliced supermarket bread are present not for the purposes of preventing mold, but instead to prevent the bread from going stale. Which actually has the side effect of making it more prone to mold -- which is a bit unintuitive. One might typically guess that "preservatives" are meant to prevent decay like mold. In fact, that's the usual definition of the term.

In other contexts, people have claimed that certain foods don't mold because they're loaded with preservatives. But in those cases, it has been demonstrated that moisture is the key factor (much like you said). Any food that dries out before mold starts won't mold, even if it contains no preservatives at all.

After a little digging around, it looks like the agent you're describing is actually better described as an "anti-staling agent", rather than a preservative. An anti-staling agent preserves moisture; a preservative prevents microbial decomposition

Anti-staling agents used in bread include wheat gluten, enzymes, and glycerolipids, mainly monoglycerides and diglycerides.

Thank you for posting. I had no idea anti-staling agents were a thing. TIL.

You can still feed ducks. Just feed them something more nutritious and varied, like corn, whole grains, seeds, etc.

There is no law preventing giving it away though, your employer was just a piece of shit.

They could give the food away to charities if they actually wanted to.

http://www.feedingamerica.org/ways-to-give/give-food/become-a-product-partner/protecting-our-food...

To just trash that many calories tho would be unconscionable.

What else should they do with it? Bread doesn't last long enough to ship it to other regions and most food pantries in the US are overrun with bread (which again, doesn't last long and has to be given away quickly). I guess the most important goal would be to not make so much bread that you're throwing away dumpsters of it at a time, but if it happens and you have a ton of bread left over, there's unfortunately not too much else to do with it.

Oh my god come on.

Yeah, it was quacked.

I volunteer at one and can confirm this. We also get tons of fancy pastries, cakes, and cookies from the bakeries. It's awesome but not exactly healthy.

Hard to say. Probably dairy because it doesn't keep very long. Sometimes we have milk, butter, and cheese but sometimes just boxed milk which just isn't very good. I live in northern California so a problem we have is we get donations from places like Whole Foods that don't match the diet of the people we serve. For example we got bags of an organic hemp/flax/chia seed blend which would be awesome because that stuff is expensive. But a lot of our people are Hispanic and didn't want it and I can't blame them. They'd rather have refried beans or some other staple of their diet (which we don't usually have). Come to think of it we never give out dried beans/lentils.

I'm lucky in that I live in an affluent area and some of the volunteers are pretty wealthy. For Thanksgiving and Christmas they get special items from the county food bank like Turkeys and cranberry sauce. Last year we heard we might not get hams for Christmas so a couple that volunteers went to Costco and bought 30 hams just in case.

God damn nerds ruining everything!!!!!!!

Epilepsy warning

you usually alloted food based on weight and get to "shop" for what you want

Ex you get 40lbs of food

would u want to experiment with 2lbs of weird ass seeds that you don't know what to do with or would you spend it on food for ur family that your family likes and know how to cook

Ducks shouldn't eat bread :/ they can get sick of it and it has not the nutrition they need.

Pastrami, pancetta, pepperoni, dried fruit, Hungarian sausages, salami... some of those dried fish that originated in Asian cultures (can't remember the names).

Dude, there are all kinds of good dehydrated foods!

You're right, I was just talking shit.

Do YOU know what to do with a bag of SEEDS? cuz I sure as Fuck don't. And I assume they are not leaving empty handed, and chose other items they actually know how to consume

I have a corkscrew penis.

I type with my wings, but I just wanted to throw that other, unrelated part out there.

If Mitch is right this is behind a Subway

What should you feed them at the park? (serious question)

Money. Food pantry's have far more purchasing power than individual people.

Or it’s worth a certain amount of waste to be the store that always has fresh bread even near closing.

It seems harsh, but that's actually a pretty good answer.

And, thus, Hedbergians everywhere chanted in unison: Ducks eat for free at Subway!

That excuse is no longer relevant

http://www.feedingamerica.org/ways-to-give/give-food/become-a-product-partner/protecting-our-food...

On October 1, 1996, President Clinton signed this act to encourage donation of food and grocery products to non-profit organizations for distribution to individuals in need. This law:

Protects you from liability when you donate to a non-profit organization; Protects you from civil and criminal liability should the product donated in good faith later cause harm to the recipient;

Bready or not, the buns are crumbing.

An unnamed source connected with the investigation confirmed to reporters they have reason to suspect fowl play as there was an unknown duck couple seen fleeing the residence earlier in the day.

Give it to hungry people? Why is this not the first thing people think of?

I go with bird food, but you can just straight up buy duck food. They love it, and it's designed exactly for them. It also floats, which is handy for throwing it to them.

Those ducks eat better than I do, goddamn.

You can ask for slivered onions instead. Some people like the dehydrated ones

I don't know what's going on here... so here's your upvote and I'll just back away reeeeeally slowly...

That's ducked up

Capitalism says: We either sell or throw away. Never share, because that would harm sales.

sieze the means of producktion

why was so much more bread than could be sold produced in the first place

If you don't produce enough, the shelves go empty.

Businesses would lose more by "leaving it on the table" through underproduction than they lose through waste from overproduction.

Same here man. I’d eat whatever I fucking could. Fuck places like that. I never really got a straight answer outta my boss as to why they did it. One excuse I got was “if we gave it away, poor people would just sue us for giving them expired food!” I couldn’t take that reasoning seriously but he did.

The best breadcrumbs are made from stale bread. Doesn't seem like a waste to me.

I am shocked too. That really is a shitton of bread. Bakeries know how much they expect to sell.

Shit, Kate Beaton made THAT comic.

In that case, I'm obliged to share this tweet about their immediate family https://twitter.com/beatonna/status/930571750731022337

I worked at the Stop and Shop deli in college.

The kids in my dorms ate like fucking kings most nights because I would come home with pounds of cold cuts.

I also worked in my college's campus center which had a bunch of food places. At the end of the night they would make us throw away all the sandwiches, fresh pastries, and other prepared food that no one bought, and some of the hot food too. I would almost always go to those cases right before close with my bag and just LOAD up around $100 bucks worth of food. I was popular in my dorm on the nights I worked...

I also learned to make a mean burrito, and that the secret to most good fruit smoothies is in the base that you use (yogurt, apple juice, or orange juice) and in adding peaches. Not too many peaches, but just enough to give it SOMETHING that people can never identify.

and they all want SUNCHIPS!

I am a shareholder in many companies through my mutual funds. We all are.

When we rail against corporate greed, we forget that we are the greedy ones driving unethical behaviour.

Thanks for posting this. It is the larger issue I like to ignore because I know I am also contributing to these issues by demanding portfolio growth from my investments.

What can I do now?

Thats true. Entirely true.

I was just thinking of something larger than a businesses' profits.

Mathew McConaughey voice All rye all rye all rye

IRL Scrooge McDuck

Is this a reference to Weird Al's drive-thru song? If so, amazing

u/pistoncivic has been placed under police custody as they were found disseminating false information in regards to the the death of u/altruyzm. They were found on the bathroom floor of their apartment in a state of drug induced hysteria. The neighbors alerted police after overhearing ramblings of "ducks conspiring to kill" and what neighbors could only describe as "quacking, but angry though"

There are no laws against giving edible food away.

The Federal Bill Emerson Good Samaritan Food Donation Act protects the donor and the recipient agency against liability, excepting only gross negligence and/or intentional misconduct.

In addition, each state has passed Good Samaritan Laws that provide liability protection to good faith donors. Each of the Harvest Programs we coordinate have established procedures to ensure that safe food handling and storage is built into their donation program.

http://www.foodtodonate.com/Fdcmain/LegalLiabilities.aspx

http://www.feedingamerica.org/ways-to-give/give-food/become-a-product-partner/protecting-our-food...

No one is forcing stores to throw this out, they just do it themselves because money

That's the difference between you and a shareholder.

This looks like a ridiculous amount of bread from a bakery, especially basic loaves. Maybe it's a factory and they're defects or bad loaves.

I am the manager of a food pantry and we throw away a good amount of food. Around 1400 pounds per month, the bulk majority of which is produce and bakery items.

We dont have heaping dumpsters on a daily basis, but that isnt unimaginable in a larger city. Many metro areas have bread programs where the local food bank gets all the bread that is going to be tossed from local grocery stores and brings it to pantries for distribution, but it's impossible to get every item on needy tables in time.

We give some of our inedible old bread to local farmers to feed livestock who in return donate back to our shelves, if that's any comfort.

Ya, well, the government isn't what it's quacked up to be.

Goddamnit. I'd gild you if I could.

Debbie Quackerman Schultz

If they're edible it's still a waste