The lines between real and troll submissions on TITP have always seemed hilariously blurry to me. Everything sounds made up
Two things here...
One, I don't want people I don't know sweating on me either. Sorry. It's not me being mean, it's just that, really, anyone sweating on me that I don't want to sweat on me is going to make me uncomfortable. Do you want people sweating on you? No. That's disgusting.
Two, if you are literally in other people's seats, I'm sorry, but they have a right to be uncomfortable and find a solution. Don't be indignant and demand people allow you to spill your body parts over them.
tl;dr, it sucks you don't fit in the chair, but it's life. Don't get angry with other people for not wanting your body parts on them. If this makes you this depressed, use it as a wake up call to get healthy. There is nothing wrong with being obese, but this problem has a solution.
Edit: I just want to say, size is irrelevant here - being sweat on by people you're not fucking is gross. I'm gay and I've been in plenty of gay clubs where people I had zero interest in grinded up against me and got their sweat on me. It's gross. Nobody wants that. Unless you are literally having sex, don't sweat on strangers.
That's the problem, it is all made up. The only difference is who makes it up and why. Now, is this the hilariously bad attempt at meaningful story created by a 12 year old who doesn't know how the real word works? Or is it intentionally bad, satire ironically taking the piss out of those same 12 year olds failing to understand how the world works?
I particularly liked the*her* seat
line. It's just a beautiful thing.
I left in tears
100% troll. Any variation of "I was in tears" at the end of a submission is the signature of a trololol.
Poe's Law has hit us once again
How fat do you have to be to not fit in stadium seating in America? I went to a baseball game when I was 8 and I could fit 3 of me in that seat.
My understanding is that some older stadiums with actual seats, like Fenway Park, genuinely aren't built for larger people today. I have my doubts that this was a Fenway situation, but there are some issues with more historic ballparks and the size of seats.
1912 privilege is being able to actually fit in a seat in Fenway Park.
Luck privilege is not getting a seat with a fucking pole in front of it.
It's fat privilege to think your lardwhale status entitles your fat rolls to slink over into others seats and shower them with your polyunsaturated fat sweats.
In the midst of a growing (heh) worldwide obesity problem, I think we have found a solution.
But we're going to need more cardboard.
GET OUT OF HERE WITH YOUR FACTS, SHITLORD!
It's an old post, though.
Unsaturated fats are more easily processed by the body due to the presence of double bonds in the chain, but they just don't taste quite as good as saturated fates.
I'm saturated fat-kin so that was triggering to me, shitlord. Check your triglyceride privilege.
People are small when they are 8, so that's not a good reference.
intentionally bad satire ironically
You mean good satire.
Yeah, I mean, god, take 3 seconds out of your life to avoid triggering someone.
Tag your caps and fruit.
It's such an amazing balance of passive aggression. If she would have used quotes, it would have been too obvious she was saying that it's not really her seat. The asterisks make us think "OK so it is her seat... or is it??"
"but i shouldnt have to because they should have to change thier seats for me and make the armrests too wide for the average sized person because I deserve it"
Can confirm, I'm a pretty thin guy and can barely fit in some Fenway seats. I had no problem believing this story aside from the leaving in tears bit.
Either that or a way to try to get sympathy...
Can you at least tag for caps? You're triggering me.
They are shrinking. I'm a marathon runner, and I have a hard time fitting in seats at some stadiums. And not just older ones. The more seats they cram in, the more tickets they can sell.
Just like gender!
FAT PRIVILEGE IS HAVING THE WORLD BUILT TO SUIT YOU
FAT PRIVILEGE IS FAT CRASH TEST DUMMIES, TOILETS FOR LARDOS AND KING SIZED COFFINS BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO GODDAMN FAT TO FIT INSIDE NORMAL COFFINS
Does it make me a bad person that I always find TiTP stories so hilarious? Yes. Yes it does. Ha.
As a moderately fat man, I kind of agree here. The seats in older stadiums aren't really wide enough.
But that's my problem, not thin-people's "privilege".
Actually, I'm betting this one wasn't made up. Here's what happens.
300 lb+ ham (OP) goes to a baseball game and is so fucking fat she doesn't fit in the seats, which are in fact designed for normal people. Her "hips" (aka rolls) ooze under the armrest and take up half of another person's seat. After half an hour of this crap, the victim gets pissed off and passive-aggressively tries to hint that OP taking up half her seat is inconsiderate by complaining to her friend. Was it polite to complain to her friend and pretend OP couldn't hear? No, but I sure as hell wouldn't care about being polite when some shitblimp's unwashed, sweaty body is pressed up against me.
At this point, OP gets up to get food, and the saga takes a new turn. Her victim has taken matters into her own hands by putting a piece of cardboard in HER FUCKING SEAT. OP shows her true colors as an selfish, entitled cunt and demands this girl remove the cardboard since without encroaching on HER SEAT, which SHE PAID FOR, OP cannot sit down. OP then has the nerve to call a fucking security guard and demand that he force the girl to GIVE UP HALF HER SEAT TO OP'S ROLLS.
The security guard says (rightly) that he can't do that because it's not OP's fucking seat and she has absolutely no right to force people to do that. Faced with the horrifying prospect of standing on her "bad knees" all game, OP storms off.
OP was in the wrong the whole time, and even from her perspective it's obvious that she was an entitled asshole.
I think I see a solution here. Lose some fucking weight :)
You could fit like TEN hamsters on that seat.
Well yeah, because you can make your flair whatever you want.