These extremely crispy ones

These extremely crispy ones

There's a reason you crinkle aluminum foil before you bake fries on them. Less surface area for the fries to stick to.

I used to work at a bank, and there's no way to describe the weird texture of a pack of brand new bills. They're actually much more difficult to count too because they stick together.

Well my life just changed forever

I worked retail for a few years and getting stacks of new bills from the bank was the worst. We had to separate them into stacks of 25 and it always took forever because they wouldn't come apart

Virgin ones that haven't been stuffed down the thong of a stripper

Yea LPT material

Something...something...always in the comments.

No...cuz now my 1 dollar bills are burnt

Cashiers hate him!

Not for long. That's the ONLY reason for having that many ones

Crispy, unused bills are an ATM's nemesis (ex-ATM tech).

No, just extremely crispy.

Man that would really make my day. Go to pull a hundo out. Get two crisp ones instead. Does it ever spit more than 2 together at once?

I work for a cash management company.

When we drop off money to strip clubs they always order a couple thousand in $1s. If they're brand new/crispy like these then they won't accept the bag.

They want used ones because they're easier to handle.

That's just my experience though.

They want used ones because they're easier to handle.

also: Paper Cuts.

Now I know you are lying. There is nothing darker than your future.

It does occasionally spit out more bills than it was asked to do when they are new bills. Most of the time what happens with new bills is it'll jam the hell out the machine.

When I worked at Subway I wasn't trusted with money because the manager thought I "looked shifty'. But then one night a co-worker robbed me so I guess we showed her.

It is my dream that one day the ATM will go haywire and give me too much money... but then I realize they have me on camera and I'd have to give it back immediately. :(

But NOT wax paper. That's a one-time mistake....

I used to work at a bank vault, I got a paper cut on a $100 bill. It was the most first world problem I'd ever had

The machine records that it gave you a specified amount, so unless you look at the camera and celebrate, they won't know who got the extra cash.

I have working finance for eleven years and my first four years were in retail banking. I HATED new bills. The smell seriously haunts my nightmares. It sticks on you like shit on Velcro. At Christmas time we would order them for clients and they were the absolute worst to count or audit. It made me want to become a Jehovah's Witness.

The trick is to "seed" them into the other used bills. Have a stack of old bills, lay one down, then lay a new one down, etc. etc. etc.

Of course, if all you have is new bills, then you're kinda boned and have to deal with it. But mixing them into the old bills makes life a lot easier.

No dude like burnt to black . Like darker than my future .

I'm mildly infuriated that the one on the bottom of the wrapped stack is bent in the corner.

Try parchment paper rather than foil. Just changed your life twice is less than an hour.

I have two guest rooms that basically double as rooms to throw random junk around the house into. I was looking for a ruler the other day, and I remembered that I threw it in one of the junk rooms. So I opened the door, turned on the lights, and I found this random rocking chair that was tucked in the corner of the room that I completely forgot I had. I'm definitely using it now.

Unless it's an exorbitant amount they won't bother. It's also very unlikely to happen.

Or you can just use parchment paper.

I work at a town. Every year we put up Christmas wreaths on the street lamps. It's actually really hard work. The wreaths are large and heavy. We had a Jehovah's Witness that refused to help put them up. He just stood there and watched the rest of us work. Another coworker brought a big tin of Christmas tree cookies that his grandmother made for us. Apparently jehovah doesn't care about cookies, because he ate a dozen. Guy was a real class A tool. If he ever knocks on my door at 8am Saturday morning, I'm going to kick him in the nuts.

Needs more cocaine and feces.

and definitely not one of those flexible cutting boards that resembles a flexible cookie sheet...

exactly.

people, if an atm gives you extra money, that literally just means that God gave you extra money.

take the blessing and be joyous

"A One that isn't cold, is scarcely a One at all."

That doesn't even come close to crisp. I worked at a bank in my day when the new dollar bills came out. I was able to open freshly printed 100 Canadian dollar bills, they have all these fascinating effects so it's not counterfeit. One of my favourite features is if you smell the bill, it smells like maple syrup... but after a long time the smell isn't as fresh as a freshly printed one...

Honestly, they just stick together more often. When you're dealing with that volume you want them to be easier to dole out without having to recount. They don't care about the strippers. They don't want to give you an extra one when you get change.

I make waffles in a skillet (well, a pan, really) all the time. They turn out kind of floppy and more like little cakes. I call them "cakes of the pan".

This kills the cashier!

And DEFINITELY not flash paper. The mistake may take seconds, but the damage will remain indefinitely.

He's got enough problems without needing to look like me.

Going to make it rain.

The real LPT is to just fry them

I once hit an ATM at a casino and I guess it thought it was giving me 20's but it was giving hundreds and five of them for every hundred off my account and I took out 500. Biggest payday I'd ever had at the time. I was too scared to go back while I was there tho. Also they never corrected it in my account or anything. I think it was a multi denomination ATM and the guy loaded the slots wrong.

Why have I not thought of this?.

Also if you haven't done this take a potato to a cheese grater and put it in a waffle iron. Poof!, hashbrowns!.

I didn't read the rest of your post, but THANK YOU for using CRISP and not CRISPY.

They are dollar bills for fuck's sake, not chips or chicken fingers.

When I worked fast food we would always fan them and spray them with some Windex.

Ohhhh "look at me, I can afford to take a hundo out at the atm." Woooooooaah. You probably don't even care about the ATM fees while you're driving around in your diamond rocket car.

Plot twist: co-worker was your twin

I guess the bank got new money for Christmas.

When I get a bunch of new bills from a bank or anyone, I interlace them with my old bills immediately so I don't pay anyone an extra bill from stickiness.

They don't care about the strippers.

Whaaaaaaaat?

And not toilet paper.

All of them.

We have them but they're big and bulky. Plus tradition.

This made me question how many bills I've come into contact with that have been stuffed down a stripper's thong...

I got extra money from an ATM at a club before. The ATM sort of jammed and the bills were stuck so I had to reach in a bit and manually pull them out. It ended up being over $200 but I only withdrew $100. Walked away like nothing happened.

Wouldn't it technically be a fabric cut?

9/10 of the things that people say you can/should make in a waffle maker you can make just as easily in a skillet. Aside from waffles, that is. Skillets make really shitty waffles.

Had to scroll down too far for this. Didn't check the sub and thought this was /sub/mildlyinfuriating.

I use a layer of foil on the baking sheet for everything I cook in the oven. Not because it helps cooking or anything, but because I hate cleaning baking sheets in my shallow sink. Plus you can grab the edges of the foil almost immediately after you take it out of the oven due to its lack of heat retention, enabling you to essentially fold it in the middle and slide every pizza roll onto the plate without dirtying up a spatula or whatever (:

Should one still crinkle parchment?

Nope.

"Pan-made cakes" has a better ring, don't you think?

In the states, it's very common to use foil for baking. The US aluminum industry used to be massive and pumped out tons of aluminum products for dirt cheap. However, I've recently found the wonder that is parchment paper, and use it almost exclusively now

Get one dollar coins already, America.

That would just hurt the stripper.

It always took me like 10 seconds because I would just flip through until I saw the serial numbers 1, 26, 51, 76.

I can describe them, it's like trying to count double sided fine grit sandpaper. They are a pain in the ass.

This is mildly infuriating as a server/waiter

In my experience it's just been cooks on weed, servers on weed, and managers on antidepressants.

We have them and we rejected them. Freedom doesn't come in coins. It comes in paper.

Shh bby is ok

My local credit union used to have a sign up a Christmas time that read 'if you happen to receive a $50 bill (the atm dispenses 20's) it is not a mistake, Merry Christmas from us to you' or something along those lines. I never got one but my mom has. Pretty cool of the bank to do imo.

Obviously different scenario but free money is free money!

Homestar Runner Now there's a site I haven't heard about in a long time.

Can confirm. Once stuffed a half strap of fresh $1s into an atm. It jammed, and displayed "no deposits" after me.

LPT: new bills like the ones pictured above come in sequential order

Oh yea, we were the assholes. Poor JW was the victim for using his batshit crazy beliefs in some religious cult to not do the job he was paid to do. He's no longer employed here. He found a new job, where after a few months, he destroyed a $75,000 piece of equipment because he's an incompetent jackass. This guy is going places.

goddammit

ATM fees, lol. Next you'll tell me that you have overdraft fees there as well!

But seriously, your banks are some greedy fuckers. Pretty much all banks are, but ones with all kind of bullshit fees even more so.

I actually like dollar coins. I feel like a pirate!

I used to deal with money alot and I HATED when the bills weren't all the same direction. I could never do that.

I've seen a stripper pick up a $1 bill up off the floor with her pussy lips. These vaginas know how to do what they do without getting a paper cut.

Interesting, and good advice, but for different reasons. You crumple up the foil so that it minimizes the surface area contact between the fries (or whatever) and the foil. You crumple up the bibs in order to introduce a ton of new and easy ways for the paper to bend, so that it will predominantly just stay against your clothing, and not have this desire to remain relatively planar.

Make it hail baby!

I've always wanted a waffle maker for waffles but was too eh about it. This changes everything.

I had a busser that always wanted to get tipped with really new and crisp bills. Threw me for a loop for a week until we caught him doing lines with them in bathroom.

Mild shock

You should see the new Canadian bills. They always stick together even if they're not new. Its the worst.

I used to be a bank teller. The first thing I would do on December 26 is take all the new money in my drawer and do what you described to it. No easier to count stack of bills than one that is new every other.

Whattt. Is that true about the maple smell? I'm too lazy to google so instead I'll just believe you.

We would have brand-new-from-the-mint money specifically for people who wanted to give new money as a gift. As of December 26th we didn't need to have that anymore so it would get mixed into the normal money.

I say we clean it up and just call them "pancakes".

Longer version

Same thing with bacon, you build an "accordeon" by folding aluminium foil and the bacon cooks without drowning in fat.

NoRelevancy

Ummm, don't you want your bacon to be drowning in fat? That's how it gets crispy

It's simple really. Brand new, unused notes, are extremely sticky. The ATMs are good at peeling away bills from each other but they're not that great at it. The jams that come from this cause big time damage.

It's a complete nightmare when brand new notes are loaded into a machine without shuffling and fanning them first.

make sure to scrape the black part off before spending them.

They have to prove it...

Occasionally the tech will put the wrong bills in a slot. Back in the day the ATM would spit $5 and $20, a misloaded ATM would totally give extra money... Now the trick was arguing with the bank. They'd claim they knew you got too much money, you would argue they didn't

Read that as two $1s and was quite confused as to why you'd be happy about that...