>tfw you have a chance

>tfw you have a chance
>tfw you have a chance

Years ago, in college, I made a fake craigslist post. It was an asian 20 year old girl who wanted to find a guy with a small dick to take her virginity.

I also made a fake post of a standard sorority girl looking for a big dick (as a control).

What flooded in was all the same dudes responding to both posts. When responding to the sorority girl they used all the standard tricks of photography: forced perspective, things for scale, suck the gut, the hand around the base like a cock ring to plump, guitar in the background for some reason.

The same dudes responded to tiny asian girl with dick picks where they made their dicks look as small as possible. Flaccid, guts sticking out, weird angles, etc.

For a small moment in time, I got a bunch of dudes to brag about how small their dicks were, and make their dicks look as small as possible in pictures. One dude even held his dick with chopsticks... I'm not sure if that's racist or not.

So ladies, make your tinder profile say you love it when dudes pee in their own mouths or some shit like that. Some number of dudes will actually do it to impress you. Or say you like pirates, some douchebags will poke their goddamn eyes out to impress a girl.

What

Does she not know how it works?

Said the guy named massive_schlong

Some dude with a dick like a tuna can is going to change her requirements.

I remember going into that sub when I first discovered it. I'm 99% sure everyone on it is a virgin. It was just hordes of redditors bragging about how "Yeah I whipped out 7 veiny inches and she got scared by what a monster it was." Right....

People with names like that are so unoriginal!

To each their own I suppose.

No doubt

Not tuna dick, tuna can dick -- big difference.

:(

/sub/bigdickproblems

There's way easier methods to find out you're gay, but congrats on doing it scientifically.

when I was in high school some friends kinda did the same. they made a fake facebook with a pretty girl and started messaging dudes from our high school. it was hilarious to see these guys from our school trying to talk game to her and all and it was just us laughing. anyways long story short, this one guy sent us a shirtless pic and asked if we wanted more and we laughed at the shirtless one but never messaged him after that cause we aint gay like this guy.

My tiny dick just got so hard

Nothing gay about getting a bunch of men to try and hook up with you.

This might be a huge surprise to you, but not all women end up having children....

https://m.imgur.com/TNzMXds?r

What is a tuna dick like?

Hahaha, this one time in college I posted this Craigslist ad for dudes to come over and gang bang me in my little asshole while I wore a Catholic vestament, and watched my little pony re-runs. Totally as a joke tho. Haha ha.

And they probably don't even have big dicks

No, this subreddit is all about making garbage puns with chicks' names, didn't you get the memo

If your chain is anything longer than 7 comments, fuck off mate. Im not gonna destroy my high karma for any fuckboi

Don't bump into any balloons.

Thank you, that post makes MUCH more sense now.

You know... The requirements for having a "big dick" are MUCH lower than you would actually think. Porn skews everyone's opinion of it until you pull out a slightly above average dick to a girl who has only been with a couple long-term boyfriends.

"No Homo" was not invented yet?

It's a serious struggle for some of us

Let her get surprised when she tries to squeeze out that baby

Doesn't want anything hitting her cervix?

Also... Does she think length is diameter?

Where are all these matches coming from? Lol Canadian girls rarely even have bios

Is this what this subreddit is all about? Its not even a funny fake.

TLDR: He likes dick picks. Send him some.

And then she's all like "I didn't even know this was possible" and your still trying to figure out was "this" is

Why would you do this

If I understand, absurdly short and absurdly large around. I hear girth can be much more important to some girls. I can't tell if he is saying that tuna-can-dick-dude is going to destroy her because of the girth causing her to change her requirements to pencil-dick or that tuna-can-dick-dude is going to make her happy causing her to ditch the requirements.

Also 1 in 3 births are Caesareans in the US.

Super big! Biggest ever! Yuuuuuuge!!!

Your username might just be the best callsign ever.

Thank you for this story, I'm sure my life will be better off having read this

tight is just a general word. She means her vagina is little but that doesn't sound sexy.

Don't you want my tiny vagina?

I've had girls say I'm too big and that I probably will not fit all the way

And then while fucking they ask me to go deeper when I've already run out of dick.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I've literally never heard of a dick being compared to a tuna can. Probably precisely because of the confusion it's causing you.

I enjoyed this chain.

Try it when they have an IUD and it feels like someone jabbing a piece of fishing line into your dickhead.

Tell me about it

Bottoming out is a real thing bro. It sucks.

almost all toilets give me the kiss of death :(

Did you run out of stat points after assigning everything to your dick, or something?

Then criticizing the girl for a lack of personality/effort because she doesn't love the horrible puns.

I'm not sure what you mean. Head over to /sub/bigdickproblems and you'll see that lots of girls don't enjoy sex with big dicks because it hurts. "The bigger the better" is something taught to us from porn.

But what type of musical instrument did they put in the background of the small dick pictures?

No homo, bro

Obviously to figure out whether this is a valid strategy to discover a mate.

Turned out men like to lie about their penises...who would've thought....

I'm not 8 inches but you don't have to be to start having some major problems. :(

Yeah cause labor is known to be pleasant as fuck and not at all the most painful thing most women experience

I'm sure there's some dudes who'd let you.

Pretty sure she just means she doesn't wanna be in pain. Some girls do have tiny/too tight type vag and it might hurt them more

double contrabass flute

They trimmed her dick?! That sounds horrible.

But the parties still poppin

anyways long story short

I stopped here, looked at the username, sure this was going to be an undertaker story

Give it another try when she's a little older.

When you're late to the party...

Not that this applies to you, but that sub is just filled with humble bragging.

People with actual problems toward their endowment;

/sub/smalldickproblems

I've heard of a dick like a soda can, 4 inches long but 3 inches around

Same thing happened to me, but my dick is even BIGGER.

As soon as I thought of it I created a new account to make sure I owned it lol

She's clearly Canadian, she's got half a tuxedo on already.

Years ago, in college, I made a fake craigslist post. It was an asian 20 year old girl who wanted to find a guy with a small dick to take her virginity.

I also made a fake post of a standard sorority girl looking for a big dick (as a control).

What flooded in was all the same dudes responding to both posts. When responding to the sorority girl they used all the standard tricks of photography: forced perspective, things for scale, suck the gut, the hand around the base like a cock ring to plump, guitar in the background for some reason.

The same dudes responded to tiny asian girl with dick picks where they made their dicks look as small as possible. Flaccid, guts sticking out, weird angles, etc.

For a small moment in time, I got a bunch of dudes to brag about how small their dicks were, and make their dicks look as small as possible in pictures.

Being a childfree American adult was considered unusual in the 1950s.[9][10] However, the proportion of childless adults in the population has increased significantly since then. The proportion of childlessness among women aged 40-44 was 10% in 1976, reached a high of 20% in 2005, then declined to 15% in 2014.[11]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voluntary_childlessness

So yes, it is fair to say that in general, most western women have at least one child.

Vaginas come in all sizes. Just like there's smaller penises there's smaller vaginas. When a larger than average penis meets a smaller than average vagina that's where issues tend to arise.

I think you mean 3 inches across. Around would be the circumference which is significantly more than 3 inches.

I kind of respect it honestly

New Zealand forgotten again.

Why not?

At least you don't have to feel like you're less of a man because your dick doesn't conform to pornographic standards :D

(not saying you don't have your own problems obvs)

But that's how deep, not how tight.

Hitting the cervix

Not it's saltynutsinyourmouth and he's not gay.

He said likely and I'd wager more than half have kids so yeah it's likely

Song name checks out

guitar in the background

😂

because most people don't actively seek being inundated with dick pics?

I mean, your gf isn't exactly going to tell you you are average or small.

"acutal" is a callsign modifier to denote the "actual" call sign owner, rather than some attachment. For instance a platoon might have a radio call sign of "2 echo 6". But "2 echo 6" may have a sniper team that is on the radio net that is using the call sign "2 echo 6 Sierra", for instance. So the command element would call themselves "2 echo 6 actual" to delineate.

I did something similar. When dating sites were first popping up in the late 90s I made a fake profile about being rich with a tiny dick. That fake profile had well over 100 messages within 24hrs. My real profile with just normal information never got a single message unless I had sent something to a woman first.

Relevant

OP's gay

Waaahhh. My big dick causes struggles, waaahhhh.

Sure it does, dude. Sure it does.

Average to slightly above average size FTW!

That would hurt I think.

Saying the truth brother

You will never get the credit this post deserves...

Yea I subscribe there and I've got a moderately large ding dong and never once had any of the "problems" they complain about aside from condom sizing.

Sounds like most of their problems are in there heads and non-existent.

/sub/juxtaposition

She says mate. It's gotta be Australian. They're the only country on both the 'km' and 'mate' systems.

magnums could be made for 260 inches, that doesn't matter, what matters is how tight they are.

https://www.theyfit.co.uk/pages/condom-size-chart

How much dick can a tuna can dick if a tuna can can dick tuna?

Why did you ruin it then?

7 inches is about 2.5 standard deviations above average. Meaning less than 5 percent of men have a ≥7" dick.

Yes. It is.

I dunno, I'm about 50/50 with girls who really liked it or really hated it. Just depends on the person I guess.

3 in around is 3/pi in across, that seems small af.

/sub/mildlybragging

You also have to factor in the dick-to-floor ratio