/sub/tifu last weekend

Too early to explore space, too late to explore Earth, just in time to read about people fucking coconuts

frist of all how dare u mod shitpost

sceond of all how dare u sticky ur shitpost

Edit: I've been paid $3000 for this, but I'd like to shill recommend /sub/coconuthate and also show my support for the most wholesome sub on earth: /sub/onionlovers.

Edit 2: It appears my comod and "friend" /u/awkwardtheturtle (aka /u/awkwardtheonionlover) has been brainwashed by the anti-onion lobby and in the process unstickied this shitpost and thus bereft the audience of the world class humor of said post. This will not stand. Spread this to CNN, Breitbart, BBC, and iloveonions.blogspot.com. The one true path is onions, and onions only. Fuck cilantro, though. /sub/cilantrohate

And for once it's not just your mom calling me again! Amazing!

There is like 18 moderators in here. It's coconuts.

Fucking a coconut is good. Fuck coconuts. Don't just read about people fucking them.

/u/awkwardtheturtle look, someone is actually willing to fuck you

-Do you like coconuts?

-Like to eat em or to fuck em?

0_o

Good job Reddit, the next time someone asks me if I like coconuts I'm gonna have to let them know I don't fuck em either.

Ya let's fuck them! Wait...

Last weekend we fucked up and this resulted in the great reddit coconutting of 2017.

It was bad and we feel bad.

u/Llim has been crying all day. Send kittens.

Ohhhhhhh shiiiitttt

That man had a family!... Wait, I guess you knew that if you are porking his mom.

Oh my god, I've witnessed Reddit history. The great coco-nutting of 2017. What a time to be alive.

This is what 2017 will be known for fucking coconuts.

BTFO

She can't. She's on a world tour.

It's pretty sad, actually. Nothing to joke about. His mom is a wreck, y'know, hairy on the outside and hollow inside.

Kind of like a coconut.

His mum can stay ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Is it surprising that the first dude fucked his coconut for like a week and others couldn't last a day ?

Post more coconut stories this upcoming weekend please, I enjoy /u/llim's tears

Look at the moderators karmawhoring. This sub has gone to shit /s

Eat the coconut

Someone else has fucked for that

Extra nut flavor.

 

                  - mikitric

I'm a bot made by /u/Eight1911. I detect haiku.

I feel like I just stumbled into the teachers lounge at school

☐ Not rekt ☑ Rekt ☑ Really Rekt ☑ Tyrannosaurus Rekt ☑ Cash4Rekt.com ☑ Grapes of Rekt ☑ Ship Rekt ☑ Rekt markes the spot ☑ Caught rekt handed ☑ The Rekt Side Story ☑ Singin' In The Rekt ☑ Painting The Roses Rekt ☑ Rekt Van Winkle ☑ Parks and Rekt ☑ Lord of the Rekts: The Reking of the King ☑ Star Trekt ☑ The Rekt Prince of Bel-Air ☑ A Game of Rekt ☑ Rektflix ☑ Rekt it like it's hot ☑ RektBox 360 ☑ The Rekt-men ☑ School Of Rekt ☑ I am Fire, I am Rekt ☑ Rekt and Roll ☑ Professor Rekt ☑ Catcher in the Rekt ☑ Rekt-22 ☑ Harry Potter: The Half-Rekt Prince ☑ Great Rektspectations ☑ Paper Scissors Rekt ☑ RektCraft ☑ Grand Rekt Auto V ☑ Call of Rekt: Modern Reking 2 ☑ Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina of Rekt ☑ Rekt It Ralph ☑ Left 4 Rekt

Wait a second...

I don't fuck em either

I won't judge

Edit: every time I make a dirty joke, I feel the need to redeem myself. So, here you go. Enjoy those if you haven't seen them already. 😊

I'm not a green-name person but I also enjoy your tears.

NSFW

Right up there with the Fall of Unidan, The Fappening and 10/10 with rice

/sub/museumofreddit for those unfamiliar

wow, banned

Most guys can't last all that long with those sexy sexy coconuts

Wait we talking about /u/ThatAstronautGuy or /u/ThatAstronautGuy 's mom?

At least the celebrities aren't dying this year

I need an adult.

;_;

Dude fucked a coconut and ended up fucking it so many times that it got infested with maggots. Many people tried to fuck coconuts afterwards, each one fucked up in a different way. In short, dont fuck coconuts. Fuck.

MODS ARE GODS

Eat the coconut someone else has fucked for that extra nut flavor.

Edit: sigh, when a bot takes your work, improves it, and gets more than 2x more upvotes... >_<

I'm out of the loop, can someone tell me what these coconutting is all about?

Edit: just found it. What the actual fuck

Edit again - the link to cocconutt [NSFW]

I would buy this if you put it on a shirt. Someone? Pls?

Edit - We would all wear the matching shirts on our bi-annually Mod-Day-Out when we meet in u/awkwardtheturtle's basement and discuss moving forward while sipping on Mountain Dew and snacking on Doritos.

I'll tell mum to get the tendies ready

I'm calling it. Next tifu will be someone fucking a coconut during the solar eclipse and somehow creates a cococumonster.

Still 5 months left

Oh, we gild ourselves all the time

I'm proud to say that I was here to witness this.

This entire chain is savage af.

For fuck sakes why will no one use the term coco-nutting

I CANT MY HANDS ARE FULL......of coconuts.

You are not a coconut.

Hold my beer...

https://youtu.be/7p88eDMewns

I am an adult.

Edit: Mandatory TFS DBZ Abridged

I'm just here for the karma train.

Mods can gild themselves whenever they want, its why /u/love_the_heat has over 25 years of gold. The rest of us just don't care about it.

Yeah when Reddit took a break from complaining about their privacy being violated by Facebook, Google and the government, to be hypocrites.

Its like when you hang with your boss for the first time outside of work and you learn that they cuss more in real life and drive a motorcycle.

Reddit is a mistake

Mods are ruining reddit

Literature at its finest

This saying is bullshit though. There's a ton of shit that's unexplored. Easiest way I can think of is to go learn to dive. It'll blow your goddamned mind for starters. And if you wanna explore, well, you can. You gotta be hardcore but you can do it. The people who explored the earth before everything was mapped? Yeah they were fuckin' hardcore. Same still applies. You just lack imagination. Go walk through the Congo or get a degree in archaeology and look for a lost city. Go revive ancient hunting or farming techniques.

This is stuff is intense and hard and real. Here's the real problem: To do all of this, any of this, whats the price? The price is no less than a commitment of your life. Its no less than it ever was. So I don't think its depressing. I think its wide open. Go do it. Or don't.

In this sort of thread, any click is a risky click.

Too early to explore space, too late to explore Earth

In all seriousness though, this always make me so sad.

why do you go green on a post? just post like us mortals

Wow, you really are an awkward turtle.

Is that how penises work?

/sub/onionhate 4 life

Banned for shilling onion lobby propaganda

Why we need communism

TIL /u/GallowBoob is the moderator of a metric shitton of subreddits.

Nintendo DiRekt

Well fuck that.

Do me next!

Hmm, sounds like you need some of your mod permissions removed.

Also there is gold, I don't know if mods can guild themselves but it's there

Get the coconuts

I remember The Fappening dearly. Oh what a time to be alive.

Say it with respect! 84 years! u/love_the_heat/overview

I took two spare coconuts and pretended they were boobs. Lasted 37 second tops.

Shiver me coconuts
Can't get banned



If you're a Mod

Can't get banned

If you're a Mod

You only say that because you live out of earshot from us.

Ask and ye shall receive

https://i.imgur.com/R390EId.jpg

Ask and ye shall receive

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toQp5mBNbyY

THIS IS US:

deletes u/Llim

Gallow me Boobs

Done

Good bot

Inb4 someone deletes the top post of all time by fucking a coconut

Reddit would explode

http://i.imgur.com/mrlZS1I.png

rekt

rekt

Yes.

Hold up just a minute, you meta posting bastard.

Why didn't you just draw it with your dominant hand?

We are God's mistake

Out of the loop, what happened?

he was holding the coconut with the other.

lol, I love it

Most people here will say that was an amazing read, then forget about it and go back to jacking it to midgets fucking dragons and whatnot.

I think it should be referred to as The Coconutting

/sub/fristofallhowdareyou

"You're not my children, you're a bad game of Sims."

Upvote for relevant username?

META MOD ABUSE

Mods need karma too!!Make me a mod

You'll need it

But I don't have enough GBP for tendies ;-;