Stool, meet stools.

Stool, meet stools.

Anyway, here's wonderAAAAAHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHOOOOOHHHHHHHHGAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

He falls like 3 inches and there's a solid 6-7" sticking up. I'm thinking it's retractable or there's some other fowl play

This is why I’m always wearing buttplugs. Stick with the sodomy you know, folks.

Rectum?!? It almost fucking killed him.

You'll love Mac's exercise bike.

"I'll play what he's playing..."

Cant get surprise-fucked in the ass if I'm already fucked in the ass.

fowl play

I didn't see any chickens getting sodomized in this video.

Yeah, and he definitely didn't have a "a metal pole just went up my butt" reaction. Unless he's just used to it, i don't think he got a 7 inch rod up the ass, here.

I will never sit on another stool again.

Yeah, it's fake, although I did know a guy one place I worked who it actually happened to. It was one of those bent plywood seats on a stand like shown. He was sitting there swinging around and bouncing telling a joke when WHAM! It collapsed. He sat there wide eyed, mouth hanging open for a few seconds in a silent scream, then the sound started. He screamed so much it was heart wrenching.

We had to help him get off it, the whole seat actually rose up a little and someone had to hold it down to get it off. We scrounged up a bunch of (sorta) clean towels and he crammed them in his ass crack. We rounded up some plastic and put on another guys truck seat to sit on and hauled him off to the emergency room.

Surprisingly, he came back the next day. He had a few good sized anal fissures and they cauterized some of the cuts. Fortunately he didn't need any surgery. He had to stand all the rest of the week and could barely sit down after that. He joked that he would never ask his wife to take it up the ass again.

The chair sat near the back of the shop, a nasty bloody, shitty mess, for a few days until someone gathered up enough gumption to carry it out to the dumpster.

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

"1"

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, an resumed counting on his other hand.

I think maybe he was sitting on the edge of the seat and it just missed him, maybe scraped along his lower back

It's not a penis, it's a fist

valar morghanus

You think that's bad? Wait till you hear about the exploding office chair.

Wonderwail.

Check cornhub for that if you want to see it.

My 300 pound roommate just loudly stretched in the other room while I read this. Perfect.

...anyway here's wonderwall.

I'd much rather be scraped along my lower back at the force of my own body weight than have a 7 inch metal pole infiltrate my rectum at the force of my body weight.

fowl play

Bowel play

It's not gay, it's the Ass Pounder 4000

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DORhmoDApF4

Except that it's fake

This is been my favorite thing all night thank you

How'd you get him/her so cheap?

If you look at the seat before he sits down, there's a hole in the middle of it already

Yeesh... I know what is worse, but that made me shudder too.

Are you insinuating that someone posted a fake video to the internet?

This is a lot more dangerous than it looks like.

This stool is gonna be the stool that will fuck me right in the ass

I plagiarized it.

valar dohaerass

Also, the girl in the mirror doesn't react at all to the fact her friend/boyfriend just got anally rammed with a 6 inch rod. Probably fake.

That's $403.95 for us Americans

Everything on /sub/jokes is stolen and reposted lol

Oh my god what a NIGHTMARE I'm glad he was somewhat OK. Lucky he had you guys thinking fast and helping him.

The plug retains heat and turns all the poo into a harmless gas that your body then recycles.

Are you looking at internet corn again?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Haha, this is pretty good, you should post it to /sub/jokes.

Chad Chesmark, magician.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

That doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about poo to dispute it.

By now you should’ve somehow realized that you had no lube

I don't bleed for anybody the way my ass is screwed, by this stool now.

I fell in to a rod made of iron I went down, and the rod went higher And it burned, burned, burned, the rod of iron, The rod of iron

Unless he's just used to it

"eugh... again??"

Maybe this isn't the first time he's been anally rammed with a 6 inch rod.

The doctor knew he would count on his hands.

Less bloody too..

Laughed till I cried. 7/7 comment.

Are you by any chance from the lovely state of Alabama?

I make mine up. Which explains why they suck.

I rectum sore

🎤 Today's gonna be the day, cold steel is gonna touch your poo. 🎤

Edit... 🎤 By now you should've somehow Realized you're getting nailed by the stool. "I don't believe that anybody Feels the way I do, about life now. "

Heartbeat, you can feel it on the seat That the exit has pulled your innards out I'm sure you've seen gore before But you never really had a doubt "I don't believe that anybody Feels the way I do about life now."

"And all the roads we travel to are winding the ambulance lights that lead us there are blinding"

"There are many things that I Would like to say to you but I don't know how Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that bathes me And after all, I tore my wonderwall "🎤

Its gonna be the stool that rapes me

But there is so much of it. It's amaizing.

The seat dropped two-three inches thus exposing ten inches of support.

Interesting universe this must be from.

does your poop just spray or extrude around the plug? if it extrudes, then does it form a hollow tube of poop? how does one flush a tube of poop? Or does the plug shoot out like a champagne cork? or do you pull it out and the poop just falls out of your butt-tube? so many questions...

This also reminded me of Dee's joke stool.

Are you saying you would expect it to impale him 7 inches to be realistic? Clearly you have never once tried to forcefully shove a foreign object into your anus

You think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and lie?

As he slowly slides down the pole like a slug

It's cause you're not wearing a butt plug, man. He literally just said that!

That’s not a joke, it’s a lawsuit.

The stool didn't drop far enough for that much to stick out. Trick stool?

SURPRISE

I’d say only 5/7

It's a trick stool. You can buy them from magic websites

https://twitter.com/bonnieIeebrown/status/826175301008887809

dispoot it

Two theories:

It went up against his back / back of his butt.

It went into his bum a little or pressed into his skin anyway, and as he sat up, it extended more because it was under a spring force that his butt was resisting. Like a prop knife.

butt sex

Clearly this is the work of a sexual deviant

That's a trickstool. This is a stool trick.

That rod is also a lot less brown than I'd thought it'd look like..

Why we never buy anything but swivel-stools.

Exhibit A:

Jethuth Chritht.

Because of this and the gif of the girl who accidentally sits on that metal rod on the shelving unit, I now fear for surprise, unexpected sodomy

Your mom made you wear a poo plug too?

'All men must be sodomized'

That's because they, too, are retractable.

In Canada we only had to pay tree fiddy. Checkmate privatized healthcare.

It might be adjustable and have a spring to extend it to its full height, once it’s structurally compromised it extends all the way.

Never stop pumping

no... the guy is literally a magician... it says it in the description of the video

Bad seat, the word is on the street that the stool blew your asshole out,

Lots of butter sex there

Just a little colon dip on the tip

does life currently fucking me in the ass count?

But mayyyyybbbeeeeee

yum

Sphincterwall

Now imagine how it felt to take a shit afterwards.

Please don't make us go get the bike, bro.

If you pause the first frame you can see there's already a hole in the top for the tube to come up through.

I feel like an idiot but I’ve read this like five times and I still don’t get it.

Butt Sex?

Looks like there's already a hole in the top of the stool.

Also, could be coincidence, but he moves his left foot at precisely the same time the seat drops. It could be how he activates it.