Soooooooo I didn’t research what soil carrots needed before I planted them

Soooooooo I didn’t research what soil carrots needed before I planted them

Ahhh, yes, a photo of everyone ever's first crop of carrots :)

I obviously know now, but I planted them before I did the research. Realised I was gonna get some special carrots so I left them to their own devices and just watered them once in a while. Tbh I was cackling so hard when I saw these, I’m tempted to plant in the same soil just to amuse myself

Edit: tell me which ones your fav, mine is that vaguely vibrator shaped one in the middle

Any recipes for carrot greens are welcome too!

Tempted to plant another batch of these just for the sheer hilarity when I pull them up

Thanks OP. I did a little digging (my apologies) because I was genuinely interested, just in case anyone else is, TIL:

...The first and foremost reason for deformed carrots is poor soil composition and improper cultivation. Carrots that have to expend energy to grow through rocky and compacted soil will frequently split and become deformed.

The soil should also be relatively loose, not compacted. The less energy the plant devotes to forcing its way through hard soil the more remains for producing a quality carrot.

Carrots that are grown together in crowded spaces, bumping against one another as they grow may also become deformed as well as stunted. Be sure to adequately space your carrots to allow room for growth at their expected full mature stature, spacing is generally listed on the seed packet for the particular cultivar you are growing..

Carrots are kind of like people. They need room to grow and be themselves.

Add some compost to your soil and till it up. Same thing happened to me the first year, then they were fantastic.

I like the left-topmost one. Kinda noped the fuck out of the ground.

Did you speak the necessary incantations over the soil in the light of the first moon following the first lunar eclipse of the year?

OP, I'm here from /sub/all, your post is hilarious, it's like a carrot zombie apocalypse. Can you ELI5 why they turned out like this please?

This is actually why I only bought oxheart and midget varieties this year. Been here too many times. Rocky soil, no raised beds, one time it was wrapped around a piece of eggshell from compost. Shorties for me!

Oh shit yea it was like dirt? No thanks bye

Carrots do this is hard or rocky soil. Loosening the soil up with sand makes it easier for the root to grow straight down and get evenly fat

They make me think of the ugly root babies from Harry Potter. 😂 The bottom left one with four legs is the best.

Loose soil so they’ll grow down instead of... in any other direction but down, enrich the soil a month or so before planting, leave a bit more space between the seedlings hahahah

Oh and also probably don’t plant them when it’s 30 degrees+ out regularly

Don't forget the rhythmic pelvic thrusts.

That last line is beautiful.

Now you guys got me interested.

I thought the wrong type of soil will only make it grow slow/small no? Why the hell is he getting these hell spawned carrots?!

I planted carrots once and it looked just like this. What do you know now that you didn't know when you planted them that will help you (*and me) next time we give it a go?

Wow.. for an /sub/all poster, this is really deep. I like you.

Try seeds next time, you might end up with something resembling a real carrot :o)

you need a light airy soil is the main thing. Like potting mix with compost added. You can mix in your native soil so long as it isnt so much it will compact like a heavy clay soil would. Potting soil is low on nutrients so it good to have some kind of amendment....I think. I have never seen hydro carrots so might might want to check youtube for that as it may affect the root shape.

Can you provide the information on soil needed? I'm actually planting my first crop of carrots this year. I've thought about trying hydroponic also.

Pretty much what I said above, wrong soil type :)



They're the perfect shape for carrot cake.

this is really deep

The benefits of using good soil.

This was my first thought -grown from seedlings. Being a root vegetable, messing with the roots via transplanting will give you some funny shapes. I've learned this the hard way too! My salsify turned out the same.

Also, some other tips- go for deep waterings rather than frequent light waterings, and avoid lots of nitrogen based fertiliser as fertiliser will promote get healthier foliage over root. Good luck with your next batch op!

Carrot greens make a fantastic pesto. Different from basil but in a delicious way.

When I first planted carrots, I did too many and it was a solid brick of pure carrot. It was all tangled together and hilarious.

At our garden centre they just do bags of vege mix for the same price as soil - has sand, bone meal in it, really good.

We have sandy soil anyway so I mixed a bit more in.

I was told avoid anything with added nitrate and so far it’s all been good.

I Ggave up on carrots though - they’re too cheap even organic ones, so I lost enthusiasm. now I just grow parsnips in that spot, which here in Australia where there’s no frost are really ————ing expensive.

Thanks for that pro tip

At that point maybe just the variety of carrot or lack of nutrients. Carrots are weird.

I haven't done a lot of carrot growing, but when I was young my father would till in some sand, peat, and compost into the carrots section each year. Ours were still kinda stumpy, so not beautiful store ready carrots but also not gnarled. I'm not sure what variety we grew, but we lived in zone 7 where it's pretty warm and my father leaned toward seeds for large yield varieties.

Yeah, I grow Nantes every year, because they always turn out nice and straight. I've never had luck with carrots, even in loose, sandy soil, until I started growing those, plus they are very sweet.

The one next to the vibrator would make a perfect pipe for Bugs Bunny.

Okay so if I tilled the soil, removed the rocks, and added a few other things to the soil but still got tiny carrots? What’d I mess up?

Hydro veteran here. Forget about it. It's not worth it. Any change in your variables and your carrot turns into carrott.

Not to sound like a hippie, but there's a certain kind of crop that does well in hydro and others do better with mother nature.

Lettuce, basil, tomatoes, cucumbers all did exceptionally well on hydroponics, both drip and kratky.


Seedlings, since this was my first go at carrots hahah

"Ceci n'est pas une carotte"

Ooh I see, I’ll update how they turn out next time 👍👍

Apparently sandy soil helps too, I think it clumps up less and lets them push through more easily.

Edit: my sincere apologies for the horrible apostrification


Oh I think it’s both LOL. Two of them are wrapped around each other, but mostly I think it was the soil :D

They did migrate a bit somehow

Top 3rd from the right looks like a nativity scene Baby Jesus.

I thought it looked kinda of like a pipe!

Any soil will do as long as it isn't from Chernobyl. Dear god.

Are you sure it's the soil? I think this is what they look like when they are planted too closely together (I once saw a gardening magazine article showing the impact of not thinning beds and I believe they all looked like this).

Oh, and I like the ones on the right (from my view) that look like gnarled fists. :)

Any idea what kind of carrots grow nice and gay?

Carrot can't push against the tougher soil, so it turns back.

Start simple, see if you like. Don't buy pre-made things. Go down the diy route first. /sub/hydro can be a great source of knowledge.

I love liquid, single bottle nutrients vs solid nutrients or 3 bottle liquids. Had great success with dynagro products.

I Had a lot of Trouble with hydro outside in Florida during the summer.

There's a lot more information in my brain that I could dump into yours later when I get back to my battlestation...

Handful of chopped carrot greens or parsley or basil, bit of spinach if you need to stretch the recipe, handful of chopped walnuts or pine nuts, grate up whatever chunk of parmesan or reggiano you have in the fridge, a chopped clove or two of garlic, pinch of salt.

Put it all in a food processor with a generous pour of olive oil, set it to puree, add more olive oil and maybe a tiny drizzle of warm water until it reaches the consistency you like. Put it on everything...pasta, bread, chicken breast, fish.

Pesto is also fantastic on green beans and sliced boiled potatoes.

The cheese can be omitted to make it vegan.

I probably make this twice a week in the summer. Almost any aromatic fresh green will make a great pesto.

And virgin sacrifices.

bottom far left is my favorite! reminds me of the guy’s hand from Scary Movie 2 when he starts playing with the food and everyone’s all disgusted 😂😂

Are you growing from seed, or seedlings?