*Sips tea*

*Sips tea*

Sips has his own tea brand? Where can I get some?

I made some man in Skellige very happy with it.

The audacity! It's a good thing Geralt isn't a raging manwhore.

It's made out of the highest quality dirt.

TeamTriss

And Geralt cheats just as much if not more.... it's a very open relationship.

In the books, yen does cheat on him.

What do you expect, it was just ground this morning!

EDIT: I am aware that tea is not coffee. I am also aware that I'm obstinate, so pttthhh.

This post is a common item.

I wouldn't say "open". She does lose her shit when he cheats on her with Triss because he lost his memory.

I would say there's a difference between "one and done" with random girls and entering relationship with another woman. And that woman is your friend.

T E A M B I R D M A N

Wait wrong thread.

She gets upset because Triss is supposed to be her best friend and instead of telling Geralt about Yen she lets him start a relationship with her. Geralt and Yen, for the most part, are ok with the other having sexy time as long as it isn't anything serious.

Fuck... I should have convinced triss to stay...

Sadly, most of us redditors would be the "he didn't survive the trial" kind of Witcher.

He has a key to Yennifers room. It is a common item. Meaning plenty of other people have them. Why do they all have them? Because in secret, behind closed doors, she unabashedly gives out ice cream like there's no tomorrow!

Fuck Tammy

Doesn't he fuck everything with tits? Seems like tit for tat.

I believe she is older than Geralt, who's about a hundred. She was also born a hunchback. Sorcerous plastic surgery.

The real tea, the best tea.

But tea isn't...

You know what, never mind.

I think glamours are just illusion; The sorceresses lodge instead actually modified Yen's body to be supermodel hot. And all sorceresses actually, the books go into detail about how they're usually ugly or malformed daughters of noble families who can't marry them off.

edited for clarity

Oh well... Adoptive incest is still wincest, I guess.

I did but then I banged yen too. I was like fuck I'm in skellige I'm never gonna see triss again. How wrong I was..

Only once... per woman

Unless you count Triss.

TeamCiri

sorry

That is Bird Person you heathen

And I love how Geralt is still "It's cool though, she's hot now."

TeamRedheads

No that's not correct. The magics they use actually fix physical deformities, straighten bones and cosmetically alter their appearance. It isn't just an illusion, Yen is not walking around as a hunchback with a holographic hot chick surrounding her.

Unlike priestesses and druidesses, who only unwillingly took ugly or crippled girls, sorcerers took anyone who showed evidence of a predisposition. If the child passed the first years of training, magic entered into the equation - straightening and evening out legs, repairing bones which had badly knitted, patching harelips, removing scars, birthmarks and pox scars. The young sorceress would become attractive because the prestige of her profession demanded it. The result was pseudo-pretty women with the angry and cold eyes of ugly girls. Girls who couldn't forget their ugliness had been covered by the mask of magic only for the prestige of their profession.

Link

They were books before games.

Geralt is immune to STDs, so he doesn't care.

Witcher 3, one of the few 10/10 games of our time.

Immune to STDs and sterile is reason enough to want to be a Witcher.

Quick, make for the nearest tavern and see how many Gwent cards it's worth.

Fuck Yen, she's the worst! Alternatively team Shani.

Doesn't matter had sex... on a unicorn.

And sterile.

It was the ground this morning but now it's the highest quality dirt

!rip

Not just tits. Spoilers In the books he once had a foursome in a bathtub with two Zerrikanian Warrior women and a dragon.

Edit: a word

I love your mix of ignorance and condescension.

isn't yen also really fucking old? there was this one scene where he looked in her eyes and recognized the view of an old women, wasn't it

You say that like you're disappointed it isn't normal incest...

I saw your reference and now I'm rewatching all the Jaffa Factory vids. Thanks. I have school in the morning

Jokes like this are funny. The joke is not obvious, but it's not hard to understand. I never played Witcher, so I have no clue what game this was from until I looked in the comments. But after a few seconds, I pieced the joke together and laughed almost too hard. When you don't get the joke at first, and then get it, those are the best jokes.

Shani tho

Hue hue hue

big money, big women, big tea bags.

I read the books and as a result have forever doomed myself to romance Yen no matter what

There's actually a tea brand called Sips... It's iced tea that comes in a box

You must've forgot that this game had magic portals and fast travel...

Ever played Witcher 3? This is one of the plotlines.

That's so Yennefer.

/sub/fucktammy

You say that like you're implying I shouldn't be disappointed...

It's not an illusion. Yen's body was modified during her early years in Academy. Gerald could even tell she was a hunchback before by the way her back looked (so it wasn't a perfect modification, ). Same thing with age. Yennefer is 100+ years old and she is physically young, because magic users can prevent their body from aging. Technically they are immortal if you don't kill them.

If you want to know more: not all sorceress can do that because some are allergic to magic (like Triss). She couldn't heal her scars on her chest from Battle of the Sodden Hill, nor could use illusion to hide it, so she was using clothes to hide it covering her front up to the neck (in the books at least, in the games Triss chest show no burns, but games are not 100% canon).

Try catching a Sips stream.

It's not an open relationship strictly speaking, they're just very off and on. I wouldn't place much stock in how many times the player chooses to visit the brothel.

I feel dumb for not knowing this. Can someone explain please?

SPOILERS!!

As someone who tactfully saved the game before the big boat choice with triss, I decided to throw that away and see how things go with Yen. Man is that a mistake, she is such a bitch towards him! She doesn't deserve the witcher love.

...but that's none of my business.

She can't use magic to modify herself, she can still use magic.

If you have a peanut allergy, there's no rule against chucking peanuts at someone else.

This is the Internet my friend. I would bet money you get an answer by the end of the day

Edit: autocorrect, how do you even get thieves from the end?

Not actually plastic surgery, just glamours

I imagine being sterile and immune to most stds takes a lot of the harm out of casual sex and probably makes an open relationship slightly easier

Well, he's sterile, so it's not like they are gonna have hunchbacked kids.

That comment is a common item.

I'm Team Triss but that scene genuinely hurt me to watch though :(

I don't recall Geralt ever cheating when they were explicitly "together". I mean they are off and on so much it's hard to keep track, but usually they just sleep around after they "break up" (which is quite frequently). Like the Triss incident in the books, I'm pretty sure it was during one of their "off" times. I do explicitly remember however one time when they were living together together and officially in a relationship, Yen tried maintain two relationships (one with geralt and one with another sorcerer) at the same time and Geralt got pissed when he found out.

The whole supernatural abilities and screwing with people using signs are pretty cool too but damn man I'll be honest, I think I'd be one of the kids that dies in the trial of grasses. That stuff they put the kids through is intense and Geralt passed with flying colors and they made him undergo further mutations which is where his white hair color came from.

Lmao too real.

Dick is in orbit

In the books Geralt and Triss sleep together before he loses his memory as well. It's after yen dumps him (iirc) and Triss uses some love potion or something to help the process along.

Phenomenally written quest. Just sitting on the mountain, amazing.

Team Essi

( 'A Little Sacrifice' - Sword of Destiny)

SPOILERS!!!!

I laughed at the end of 'The Last Wish" when I made Geralt tell her he didn't love her anymore, she was devastated.

Here's the thing. You said "three jackdaws is a human in disguise."

And iirc, sorceresses are also barren.

So no, it probably ain't happenin.

To shreds you say?

Pretty sure in the game Yen won't tell geralt her age

Agreed. Fool around as much as possible, but make sure it's always Yen.

Im so happy so many people get this reference, jaffa factory and shadow of israphel were my childhood :D

Point remains, if it's cheating then it's not open.

Just read the chapter actually. It's in The tower of Swallows (second to last book), chapter 9.

'Sigrdrifa', [Yennefer] said with anger, 'don't try your sublime tricks on me. I'm ninety-four years old. But treat that, please, as a confessional secret. I'm only confiding in you so you'll understand I can't be treated like a child.'

Dunno why you had -1 so I helped you out.

!vote 100 notea

What if I can't get Aard?

Soo... Team Vivienne then?

What game is this?

/sub/unexpectedsips

Ayyyy

"Magic Portals" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

My childhood

No, dude. Just because you've only ever bought one apple, doesn't mean apples are rare.

Just because Yennifer always gives you a key to her room, doesn't mean there are shit tons of keys to her room around. They are common because she made a lot of copies. Because she likes a lot of fuck.

Or maybe they are basing the commonality on the fact that it's a key.. and keys are common. The fact that it's a key to her room is inconsequential to the actual object's designation?

I don't know, but the joke is that she's a ho and your deflection is inaccurate.

Ssssssssips

What do you expect, it was just ground this morning!

That clip was recommended to me by youtube earlier today.

....

I thought Geralt had never had a run in with a dragon? Since they're intelligent, he doesn't hunt them, and also they're even more fucking rare than a true vampire.

Wait wasn't Triss technically a mage?

How exactly does an allergy to magic work if you can use magic

edit: shes allergic to potions. Not per se magic. according to the wiki. Unless potions are actually fucking worthless unless you infuse them with magic then i guess i see what you mean

You do know that The Witcher is based on a real series of books, right?

They both cheat in the books as well