Russian smuggler carrying 99kg of cheese caught entering Russia from Finland.
Couldn't he find space just for one more kilogram??? Jesus
Arresting officer: "we found 99kg of cheese!"
Chief inspector: "we caught him with 90kg of cheese"
Prosecutor: "we are charging him with possession of 75kg of cheese"
The guy arresting him probably took 1 kg for himself.
Putin: "We recently arrested a man in possession of 25kg of cheese. In unrelated news, the arresting officer, chief inspector, and prosecutor have all been found dead."
To be honest, I can absolutely relate to Russians willing to smuggle cheese into the country. I have had Russian-made cheese a few times, and it is really like eating rubber. Russians are not good in making cheese.
For those who didn't know: European agricultural products are banned by Russia as a "sanction" on the EU. In reality, it is just a sanction on their own population.
It is allowed to bring up to 5kg of European produce into the country, though. It was not hard to make myself popular among my wife's friends and family.
"Also, in unrelated news, I will be holding a cheese party for my most influential friends."
In Romania, we have garlic smugglers.
There's a vampire joke in there...
Trump: "Russia knows cheese. They have the best cheese."
Or a secret PR campaign for Finnish cheese awesomeness?
In Romania, we have garlic smugglers.
Chinese garlic is much cheaper than local EU-made garlic and there's a large duty to protect the EU garlic industry. Hence, it's quite profitable to smuggle Chinese garlic from Moldova.
Reporter: "Mr. President, the question was about campaign finance reform."
That probably explains why when my Russian Aunt came over (I live in England) she kept on eating cheese. She also kept on complaining about the food quality back there.
It's alright. Really subtle flavor and nice texture make it an ideal "everyday cheese." Similar to Havarti if you've ever had it.
If you want something a bit more Finnish and unique, try Finnish squeaky cheese / bread cheese or Aura cheese.
I loved the food in Russia, probably because of my European purchasing power.
Jesus, this is entirely too realistic. Feels like we're part of a story the player character finds in fallout on a series of terminals.
something something illegal weapons
Employees are not invited Mr Trump.
I know Oltermanni is pretty good, but damn.
Is it? I never had one.
Shouldn't it be spelled "Russan" in that case?
With 100kg or more he would be considered a commercial smuggler by the Russian cheese import law: Я не говорю на русском §23 только шутка братi 5.01
"I got 99 cheeses but a brie ain't one" is his catchphrase.
As a Dutchman I understand the importance and greatness of cheese all too well, but this is a bit much. Is the cheese in Russia that bad, or is there a shortage or something?
To my dear Russian friends here on reddit. Just picture yourself with all the cheese you'd ever want. Rubbing delicious Camembert over your skin. Massaging your feet with Emmentaler. Swimming through a sea of Feta. Licking the Roquefort until you feel that sensational tingling in your nipples.
Yes, this could all be yours. You just need get rid of Putin.
The Union of Consumers “Roscontrol” says that nearly 70% of dairy products on the Russian market is fake. This was told by the chairman of “Roscontrol” Alexander Borisov, reports RSN.
According to him, manufacturers deliberately mislead customers by using vegetable oils, including palm oil, instead of milk. The Union has concluded that based on performed examination of butter and cheese made by Russian producers. A total of 40 samples of domestic cheeses and butters were tested.
I would try to smuggle too.
Russia used to be a large importer of European dairy products. When Russia got embargoed following this whole Crimea thing, Putin decided to retaliate and banned dairy imports from Western Europe. As a result, European producers faced a hard time when the producer price collapsed. Unfortunately for Russia, the producer price in Europe is back to normal by now, whereas the consumer price in Russia is still atrociously high.
99kg of cheese in the car 99kg of cheese .... take one down pass it around
You can afford to travel to Russia but can't afford a visit to a restaurant at your local place? My favourite Korean BBQ restaurant here is called Kimchi Princess and it is not more expensive than any other restaurant. Sounds fishy to me. Edit: And yes they have pretty good Korean food there even my colleagues from South Korea love to eat there.
I got a good deal so my trip to Russia was cheap, probably wouldn't get a deal as good as that one again. In Finland you can easily pay 20-30€ for a meal in a restaurant, you can even pay 20€ for bad food in a restaurant, depending on where you are. In Russia I could get a nice dinner and a beer for under 10€ iirc, in Finland a pint at a restaurant would set you back about 7-8€. As for Korean BBQ, I haven't seen one here in Finland, but I haven't been actively looking for one either.
Russian cheese is a low quality mass made from palm oil.
Tried a lot dishes I can't afford back at home, Korean BBQ with fish meat and vegetables, Texas brisket, pulled pork burgers, all very good, also tried some local pastry stuff which wasn't anything special but it was dirt cheap so value for money.
What did you like? I'm always disappointed with food in Russia, and aside from eating in a few of the most expensive restaurants in Moscow, everything was meh.
Alco-tourism with a private jet? Impressive.
Which makes it not cheese.
That's Russian federation's plane getting loaded when putin visited Finland few week's ago.
Oltermanni is fantastic! I miss it dearly... Mustaleima is also tasty, though much stronger than Oltermanni.
Great, now I can't stop thinking about atomi vety and delicious hearty ruisleipä :(
EU put sanctions on Russia for invading Ukraine so Russia banned European food.
Ah let the guy through. All peoples should be able to enjoy good cheese.
Maybe let him through after paying taxes.
Я не говорю на русском §23 только шутка братi 5.01
Wow what a totalitarian law.
Maybe he got hungry on the way.
It hit our cheese industry pretty hard too. On the other hand, we got super cheap cheese for a little while when they sold the cheese meant for the Russian market here in Finland.
Only people who own private jets can afford to be alco-tourists in Finland...
I'm sure this sort of warfafe is banned by some treaty.
It's probably that the charges are not the same if you're under 100 kg. Like it goes from felony to crime, or something.
chinese garlic is shit though, and it just gets worse each year for soem reason. these days a bulb the size of a small ballsack has like 40 tiny cloves so it is a massive pain to peel
Rubber cheese. We have it in Poland too, the cheapest variety, probably made with addition of some kind of vegetable oil. Fortunately we also make some amazing cheese varieties and have access to all European cheeses too. And now I'm hungry.
Only Cheesigarchs are invited.
Я не говорю на русском §23 только шутка братi 5.01
Nice try. Also, there is no 'i' in Russian (unlike Belarusian and Ukrainian)
It was hidden under his foreskin
You mean their availability to everyone. Only US had embargo.
The cheapest cheese you can buy in America can't even legally be called cheese.
My wife adores Valio cheeses. Our bags look like OP photo every time we're in the area.
I can't blame the guy tbh. We joked about "cheese smuggling" ourselves, though thankfully we don't have to.
I hear Dontesk is the place for an action packed holiday.
try Finnish squeaky cheese / bread cheese
With cloudberry jam, it's amazing!
There is a joke in russia - if the west puts more sanctions on us, we will bomb Voronezh in return.
You know you're rich when you booze cruise to Finland.
Cow. Pretty much all Finnish cheese are.
Good cheese is a threat to Russian sovereignty!
I'm in NE Finland right now and have been eating some of the cheeses he was smuggling. They're good, I can see why he was trying to smuggle them back into Russia.
Squeaky cheese and cloudberry jam sound like made up things they'd eat in Adventure Time.
Its not that realistic.
Trump would never let a reporter near him.
"Update: Cavity search revealed an additional kg of cheese."
oh, sorry: english is not my first language, and i catch those words on crime tv show, i don't really know the specifics.
It's justified to say this about Russia in general, but you have to be a special kind of lazy not to find a decent place to eat in Moscow, there are loads of them. Try Patriarch Ponds area next time, for example.
"What are you in for?"
"I smuggled cheese."
It's said that "socialism is a system that heroically fights problems unknown in any other system".
I think whatever the Russian system is called nowadays is a counterexample to that :)
Crosspost to /sub/cheese
You mean misdemeanor to felony? Both are types of crime, one considered less serious than the other.
The Chinese vampires in Europe are behind the Chinese garlic ban . Meh.
Yeah, but the problem is that their cheese still sucks.
South America produces cocaine, the Middle East produces heroin, Europe produces cheese.
Remember kids, just say no.
It aint easy bein cheesy
You mean сырки, right? That's a creative translation if I've ever seen one.
98kg of cheese in the car, take one down, pass it around
Cheese rules everything around me C.R.E.A.M., get the money Dollar dollar bill, y'all
Finnish vodka and other alcoholic drinks being loaded into a Russian plane, a little while back, when Putin visited Finland.
Just picture yourself with all the cheese you'd ever want. Rubbing delicious Camembert over your skin. Massaging your feet with Emmentaler. Swimming through a sea of Feta. Licking the Roquefort until you feel that sensational tingling in your nipples.
Stop, I can only get so erected
You're a funny one.
Mozzarelligarchs just rolls off the tongue.
well someone has to keep Drakula at bay....
97kg of cheese in the car, take one down, pass it around
A variant of the delicious lihapiirakka, basically a steamed soft bread with ground beef and rice. The atomi has ham and egg, as seen in this .
It's commonly served with ketchup in there too, and I'm seriously craving them right now. They taste much better than they look. :)
99 Kilos of cheese in the car, 99 Kilos of cheese, You take one out, you pass it around, 98 Kilos of cheese in the car!
The fact that it's fairly common to see labels saying "made with 100% real cheese" should probably bother more people than it does. That said, go up to Wisconsin and you can get a nice delicious bag of cheese curds fairly cheap.
I think he can afford local food, but can not justify paying so much for it. A vacation in Russia on the other hand is really affordable plus you get to eat finely without paying fortunes
Ballsack for scale?
I lived in Russia for a while, yeah, the cheese fucking sucked. I remember someone telling me it was because all the dairy farms are far away from the cities, so milk products are full of goodness knows what to last the journey, but I don't know how true that is.
Edit: Apart from that stringy, salty cheese that I've forgotten the name of. I loved that.
Oltermanni is heavenly. Food from the Gods themselves.
Americans like to live in extremes. For every brand of corporate "plastic cheese" there are probably
Vety (hydrogen) has ham and egg, atomi (atom) has either ham or egg. It's a Lappeenranta thing, though it has spread to some neighbouring areas too.
I think goat cheese is only produced in the southern parts of Europe. I can't think any Nordic country that has a major goat cheese production.
Reindeer cheese and such would not supprise me the least.
Hahaha I want to see the face of the border guard when they inspected the van and found the cheese.
Oltermanni is a cheese that everyone likes. It's high quality, versatile, affordable and it has a subtle flavor.
I guess Russian sanctions really are causing pain.
If she already thinks cheese in England is good, she should try visiting Holland then, it would blow her mind.
You think politicians usually don't indulge in embargoed foods, wines and cigars? Just look at the historical availability of Cuban cigars to big shots.
That only applies to unpasteurised dairy products though. If it's pasteurised, then the limit is 10kg, as codified in тоже, товарищ §36, но мы уверены, что все остальные обмануты 1.02
I'm in Russia right now, and I'm actually surprised by the abundance of dairy products. Milk (regular or toasted!!), butter, yogurt, kefir, soured milk, quark, "cheeselets", and even fresh mozzarella are all fairly cheap and available at seemingly every grocery store. Not sure why aged cheese is such an issue.
(In fairness, the selection of Russian cheese is pretty wide, so I'm sure you could find a winner or two. But yeah, what I've tried hasn't been great.)
(Also, for some incomprehensible reason, cultured butter is nearly impossible to find. It's not like they can't make it — all the same stuff goes into kefir etc. anyway!)
The embargo is actually a ploy by the English to make their food seem more palatable to foreigners.
While my class was visiting windmills, we also visited a cheese factory of some kind, though it seemed mostly manual, so idk if factory is the right word. Some of the best cheese I ever ate, and a 20€ souvenir that lasted shorter than the trip. Thinking of the shop where you could try bits of all kinds of cheese still makes me drool. HEAVEN!
Doesn't help. I've acquired a taste for it!