Man's been broken before
He's had a good one get away.
Damn son. Guy is either totally in love or he's seen some shit from a past relationship.
Or one with a black soul ripped his guts out.
Perhaps the heaviest things we lift aren't our weights but our feelings.
/u/Talshar summed it up really damn well.
Foreword: I realize that this isn't your typical EMSK (Every Man Should Know) entry, but I view it as essential advice to any man who wants to be happy in a heterosexual relationship. Nothing against men who want to be in a non-hetero relationship either; this is just addressing those who may be getting pulled in by the "Red Pill" philosophy. For the uninitiated, "Red Pill" is a term co-opted by the types of people who frequent /sub/theredpill (enter at your own risk, lots of lady-hate in there). It's a reference to The Matrix, in which Morpheus offers Neo a choice of one of two pills... a blue pill, which will make him forget and allow him to contentedly go back to a life of brainwashed mediocrity, or a red pill, which will wake him up to an unpleasant truth but grant him great power. The idea of the "Red Pill" as is commonly used now, is that men are constantly losing a war of what /sub/theredpill users refer to as "Sexual strategy." Essentially the premise is that women have what we want (sex), and they can make us bend over backwards to get it. They have us wrapped around their little fingers. Those who "take the Red Pill" awaken to their true male potential and learn to get what they want without having to submit and forfeit their masculinity. The subreddit is rife with success stories from men who claim they've gotten what they want out of their relationship. One guy claims (and I'm paraphrasing), "She does my laundry and dishes, we have sex whenever I want, and she knows that I don't belong to her, and if she ever slips up or takes me for granted, she’s gone." It's not that I doubt what he's saying. I believe it. The problem is, what he's describing is emotional abuse. What the Red Pill advocates is taking advantage of common weak points in the typical female psyche (most of which are present in your typical male psyche as well; everyone has weak points, and most of them are common to all humans, though some are more pronounced in one sex or another) to put pressure on women and bend them to your will. Users advise doing things like keeping her guessing, changing what you want and then berating her for not keeping up with your whims. Several advise that you never show affection for her unless she’s done something to please you. You break them like you'd break an animal. And it's damned effective in some cases. It'll get you what you want if you do it right. But you shouldn't want that, and here's why. The Red Pill subreddit is also full of "Blue Pill Stories," in which guys get emotionally abused by their girlfriends. They lament being used for their money, their homes, their emotional support, what have you, and then being left when they weren't "Alpha" enough to keep their girlfriends around. It's a shame, it really is. Nobody deserves that kind of abuse. "Nobody" includes women, though. What the Red Pill strategy does is flip that power dynamic on its head. When it works, now it's the man who is in power and the woman who is suffering. The man gets the sex without having to commit any real effort to the relationship, aside from making sure that his SO's emotions are brutally crushed on a regular basis. You haven't fixed anything, you've only made sure it's your SO who's suffering and not you. And the reason she stays is the same reason Blue Pill guys stay in their relationships: They don't want to be alone. And as long as you keep that power dynamic active, you will never know what love is. Because love means that you feel what your lover feels. If she hurts, you hurt. If you hurt her, you feel all of her pain and all of the shame for knowing that you're the one that caused it. If you really love someone, you'll never want to hurt them. And make no mistake, that's what the Red Pill is: cold, calculated, systematic emotional torture meant to produce a desired response. Methods like keeping your prisoner guessing, changing what you want, keeping them off balance, those are all interrogation techniques meant to break your prisoner down on a mental and emotional level and produce a compliant charge. Put quite simply, someone couldn't ever do such a thing to someone they truly loved. There is one thing that Red Pill has right. Sexual strategy sucks. But the solution isn't getting better at it than your SO is. The solution is agreeing with one another that you're not going to play the game. If a game is going to always suck for one player, and both players care about one another, they're going to find a better game to play. You want a healthy, stable relationship that is going to be rewarding? Here's the secret. Remember that your SO is just as complex, intelligent and vulnerable a human being as you are. She has needs just like you do. While she might place different values on her various needs, while she might express them differently, they're every bit as important to her as yours are to you. Life is a war. But if you want to win it, you and your SO need to be on the same side. You don't need to break your girlfriend or wife. You need to talk to them. If they're doing something that hurts you, you need to tell them. And not "I wish you would quit that." Tell them "This hurts me when you do that." If they care about you, they'll take action to prevent causing you pain. To position and strategize to get what you want out of your marriage is to deny your most potent asset: An intelligent human being who cares about you and wants to see you happy above all else, and who wants to be happy alongside you. And if you don't have that in your SO, you either need to get to that point or get out. There are many, many worse things than being single. One of them is being in an abusive or emotionally vacant relationship (on either side, abuser or victim). Don't view your time as being single as a sexless desert. View it as a time to grow and realize who you are. You need to be able to define yourself as an individual before you’re ready for a relationship. Human beings are as diverse as life on this planet. For every type, there is a countertype. There is someone out there for just about everyone. However, none of your relationships will work out in a healthy manner until you realize that women are people too, not animals to be broken. You don't need to be an Alpha. You're not a damned dog. You're a human being. Human beings can communicate complex concepts, rebel against their base instincts to find better ways of doing things, and above all, reflect on their actions and empathize. You don't need to establish dominance, you just need to find somebody that's willing to actively pursue your happiness alongside their own; and you need to be willing to do the same for them. If you're not ready to do that, you're not ready to have a healthy relationship. But there's good news... Something else human beings are good at is changing. You want someone to be willing to change for you, you have to make sure you're willing to change yourself a bit. Everything's a two-way street. Just make sure you're changing for the better. Being willing to change doesn't mean flopping over and doing whatever is asked of you. Here, change is a bad word for this. Be willing to improve yourself. Nobody's perfect. Spot those places that need work (I assure you, they're there, and if you can't spot them, I guarantee the people around you can), and start improving on those things. In order to have a healthy relationship, you have to be a healthy human being first. A healthy human being doesn't use sexual strategy. You'll only ever have a healthy relationship if both parties refuse to play that game. I mentioned earlier that Morpheus's "Red Pill" was originally symbolism for awakening, both to truth and to power, while the "Blue Pill" was a metaphor for staying asleep and maintaining the status quo. In truth, the Red Pill as they represent it isn't a true awakening at all. It's a capitulation to a false dichotomy. A true awakening is realizing that the people around you are more than just faces, that they all have their own stories, their own thoughts, hopes and dreams, and that they are just as complex as you are. A true awakening is realizing that you don't have to win the fight (and thereby habitually hurt someone you ostensibly care about), or lose it. That you can take your ball and go home. The Morpheus of sexual strategy is offering you two pills: Red and blue. Win sexual strategy, or lose it. Punch him in the face and tell him you're not playing his bullshit game.
TL;DR: It's unfair that men suffer from sexual strategy, but that doesn't make it okay to flip it and make women suffer instead. No one deserves to be emotionally abused.
Awwww, that's nice. Russian people sure know how to be melancholy when they want to...
The only reason I'm not linking the original Reddit post here is because I'm not proud of my autistic comments from 2 years ago.
Mhm, he really did seem lost in thought as he said "душа."
The music killed me
This kills the joke.
This is sad, but I was really waiting for him to say "my dick"
some get over it, some go over to /sub/theredpill.
More likely this yea. I mean hasn't everyone had this shit happen to them?
You can really see it in his eyes
Nah that's the answer to:
"What organ in the female body stays warm after death."
I was almost gonna skip the wall of text, but I'm glad I didn't.
Really well put and gets right to the core of it.
Guys that party actually have broken hearts :(
The Russians can capture either the most base depths of human existence or the highest highs. There is no middle. For example: Dostoevsky.
It was already dead.
This is one important video
Agreed. He didn't actually say soul though, he said "soil". She must have good soil to grow potato for vodka and stew every day.
I know damn well when I'm playing Dota 2. That if I want to make a wild and crazy play, and be sure my teammates are at my back, I want a team of ruskies.
One of my favorite gaming memories was in doto, seeing a ridiculously ballsy opening and screaming "DAVAIIIIII!!!!!" into the mic, having those four glorious motherfuckers scream it back, and then winning the teamfight as a team.
Yeah I know what that means!
I feel like using common sense and deductive reasoning isn't that difficult either...
It's called "Una Mattina"
Not sure about the current situation, but RPW had an issue in the past where RP men were making fake accounts to pose as women. It definitely explained some of the really out there suggestions.
Women are women. Their sole objective is to lock down high quality semen. They're biologically whores. That's it.
This is the top post on TRP right now lol
Yeah.. we want to see dooosha
This lad learned to stay away from gingers the hard way
Like... "Come on" or "GO IN NOW" or "DICKS OUT BOYS WE'RE GOING HAM!!"
At least in Doto contexts. I dunno the real translation.
You've been hurt Ivan, that much is true. Who has hurt you, comrade? Who?
It can indeed be used to refer to someone. Dusha-moya(my soul) and dushenka have both been used to refer to a loved one
In my opinion?
I feel like a lot of people over there got hurt badly and instead of overcoming that pain internalized it and think the only way to avoid being hurt is robot-like behaviour and prejudice against women.
They unlearned how to trust people, and that's sad.
"I wonder what I can say that will get me in this reporter's pants. Oh wait, I got it."
in line with this post, nobody has to know
He has that thousand yard stare going on.
It translates to more like "soul" as a noun, I've never heard it used to call someone else. Someone correct me if I'm wrong, I am U.S. born after all.
The playlist that molded an entire generation.
Anyone who tries to manipulate others is a bad person, I do not discern between good and bad behaviour based on gender.
Manipulative women make me just as sick as manipulative men.
Over all, saying, "others are bad, so it's only fair if I'm bad, too" makes the world a worse place for everyone.
Uhhh, he definitely said "Душа" which means soul or spirit
edit: The word for soil in Russian doesn't sound at all like the word for soul, even though they sound a little similar in English.
It's featured in the movie intouchables which is a great foreign film
That's the best save I've seen all week! What a bro.
Who would've thought a lifestyle known for uninhibited drug use and one night stands would appeal to people who are vulnerable to escapism and weary of long term relationships?
Indeed, it was never alive.
Especially the ones that party real hard. Not everyone of course, but many do.
The no soul thing is a real problem with eastern european women.
They look like people they talk like people but they have doll eyes.
Sandstorm - Darude
Look everyone, smart guy over here knew what Aywa meant based on contextual clues!
When I was growing up, movies and TV shows all taught me that men are commitment-phobic sex dogs and women are deep romantic types whose love transcended time and space.
Then I got to college and watched one-by-one as every guy on our (all-guys) dorm floor was dumped by their now long-distance high school sweetheart.
I was the second-to-last to go. Just before my room mate.
It didn't sour me on women. I ended up meeting a wayyyyyy better girlfriend in college. Eventually.
Less "let's play miniature golf and you let me win because that's a boyfriend thing to do" and more "let's lay in bed talking for hours because that's a relationship thing to do".
Anyhow - point is: don't write off the other sex just because of cultural perceptions or one dumb relationship. There are great guys and girls out there for everyone. The better you are, the harder they are to find.
doosha or gtfo
This whole entire sub is just a bunch of circle jerking guys that think ego and dominance is the best way to secure a girl lol.
Nah, its our weights. Feelings are easily taken care of by a hard core steel mould around ones heart.
Probably a really good dude right there, but broken inside.
Have you seen /sub/theredpillwomen? That shit is crazy
Neither...he actually fell in love with a vampire.
Fantastic film. One of my favorites :)
Check out the comments. Holy fucking incels.
But a steel heart must be heavy though
(disclaimer: i'm not justifying them) they're just playing the game, the problem is the game, and that people on the other side also play the game as well.
it's like the prisoner's dilemma, do you play the game just to look out for you at the expense of the other person? or are you nice and not play the game at the risk of the other person playing the game on you? you can both be out for yourself and play the game on each other on which case both lose out. or... do you both trust each other enough to not play games and be open and honest together?
edit: a word
Russian guy wise as fuck. Wow.
What does davai even mean haha
Boobs are for now, a soul is forever.
I dunno man, I think this was better save this week
Huh, then I don't know what's up with the "incels" comment.
or... do you both trust each other enough to not play games and be open and honest together?
In case anyone reading was confused this is the right answer.
nailed it...then nailed it.
As an eastern european male I think most westerns don't realize that language barrier is what creates the illusion of them not having a soul. Without a proper dictionary they can't express properly and end up sounding like robots. Also it really depends which nationality in particular you are referring to, I've met a few russian women in my life and they were the most passionate, interesting and full-hearted people.
Good advice but for the love of god.. there's an Enter key. Use it.
That's why you lift weights.
How does one determine high quality semen? Is it like...a taste thing. Amount and Consistency? Like shit how do we know!?
not really a /sub/iamverysmart moment
You might like this then: (the lady stops talking at 1:48)
The very name of their subreddit/"movement" hinges on their belief that they're the one true holders of the truth, singularly awake from delusion in a world of sleepers who have not yet awoken to their glorious message.
And that message that every single woman is a shitty sub-person that only wants men for boosting their own station in life. It's so absurdly simplistic and reductionist that it's already moronic before you even address the morality of it.
My yesterday's lasagna~
I looked this up and one source said "sweetheart", so is this safe to call my Russian girlfriend this?
Yes being bilingual truly is /sub/iamverysmart, if you're an English speaking American at least.
HA! Joke's on you! That's only gonna lead to a healthy and happy relationship. Mark my words. One day you'll find yourself getting older together and it's gonna hit you. You'll be like "huh, this is pretty good."
Because it's just generalist bullshit.
You can't just whip up a few labels and attribute it to all women just because you've had a few bad experiences. Women are people and people are complex. Sometimes the labels fit and sometimes they don't, and that can just be the same person at different times.
Also, if you think all women are alpha-seeking, bank balance driven, walking fuck holes then there's a good chance the real problem is you.
Thanks! Yeah absolutely making it a nickname or adding a possessive works. The cool thing about the Russian language is you can make almost anything into a cute nickname for someone
Was 100% expecting a "my dick" joke.
Let me guess... "There are no women with a soul they're all bitches" "While you're here caring about personality bitches only care about your car and biceps" "They're pretending to be nice but eventually they'll rip your heart out and take all your money"
Did I guess the comments?
Like a shark?
You're meaning to tell me that every guy who ever lost his job was divorced by his wife?
Every man who had an accident that kept him from working was left by his girlfriend?
Are you suggesting poor people don't get married at all?
Sorry, but that's just ridiculous.
I agree, I had my heart ripped out but I'm not about to wallow in self pity or start hating women because of it. I wish those over at /sub/theredpill would pull their heads out of that negative frame of mind and realize that we're not at war with women. It's pointless to hate them.
Poor guy's probably lived through some stuff that Adelle sings about.
Huh, it's like a prisoner's dilemma. My SO and I have always treated each other as people, which has worked out great.
Everyday, 135 gets lighter and lighter yet, my heart is still heavy.
Wrong again...he fell in love with a ginger
Right. Exactly like a doll's eyes until those black eyes roll over white, and then — oh, then you hear that terrible high-pitch screamin', the ocean turns red, and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they rip you to pieces.
Goddamn, this is one of the dumbest things I've heard.
I don't know about you, but I can hardly manipulate anyone into shutting the fuck up when I'm trying to leave the kitchen. So it's absolutely hilarious to me that you think that there is this huge body of women with super human Machiavellian powers, just walking around all day and wrapping men around their fingers.
He's making a joke based on the false misunderstanding of him saying soil. He doesn't actually think the guy said soil. He's just using soil to segue into a joke about Russians liking vodka and potatoes.
The Russian language uses many such words as endearing \ affectionate vocatives. Another example, for instance, would be «солнце моё» (my sun).
• ДУША МОЙ old-fash, coll
[NP; Invar; used as vocative; usu. this WO]
⇒ a friendly, familiar way of addressing s.o.:
(my) dear(est) (darling);
[in limited contexts](my) love;
[man to woman] my sweet;
[man to man] my good man;
my dear chap;
[man to a younger man or a boy] dear lad.
♦ "Щи, моя душа, сегодня очень хороши!" - сказал Собакевич... (Гоголь 3). "The cabbage soup is very good today, my dear," said Sobakevich... (3a). "The cabbage soup is very good today, my love!" said Sobakevich... (3c).
♦ "Так у вас разве есть выкройка?"... - "Как же, сестра привезла". - "Душа моя, дайте её мне ради всего святого" (Гоголь 3). "So you've actually got the pattern!"..."Of course I have. My sister brought it along." "Darling, lend it to me for the sake of all that's holy" (3c).
♦ "Романтик сказал бы: я чувствую, что наши дороги начинают расходиться, а я просто говорю, что мы друг другу приелись". - "Евгений..." - "Душа моя, это не беда; то ли ещё на свете приедается!" (Тургенев 2). "A romantic would say, 'I feel our paths are beginning to diverge,' but I will simply say that we are tired of each other." "Oh Yevgeny. ..." "Dear lad, that's no misfortune; the world is full of things that pall on one" (2c).
Better yet, lift steel hearts.
According to something else I read here, it's when she has to chew before swallowing