Rob get ya friend

Rob get ya friend
Rob get ya friend

Too funny. Love that he kept changing the names.

Beatles reunion

Fucking lost it there.

I liked that part of the story too, Chad.

Can't belive he wrote a whole story in 2 sentence form over twitter.

"Golly, this feller is giving us the go-by! Professor, could you holler at this jellybean to get him to skedaddle?"

"Caucizoid" Oh my god this man has a way with words. I'm taking this.

damn good storyteller too, had me firin up already but thats probably cos im latino

the intersection of /sub/madlads and /sub/blackpeopletwitter

Wonder if A-Aron is going to get to class early on Thursday. Definitely going to need an update on this!

I usually don't believe Twitter stories but this seems totally legit. I can already imagine the group of freshmen in their 101 Intro class pulling this shit after signing up together

Read this in chappelle's white guy voice.

I was thinking the same thing after the writer brought up race, especially when he said he mocked the way they were talking. I get that it's a story and likely fake, but damn.. truth.

I both hope this story is fake and hope it's real at the same time. Really disappointed with the Brady's here.

He should've saved the Brady bunch line for that moment.

"If Parker don't calm his gluten free ass down..."

He kept using that one. The switch up was a good choice

The fuck wrong with people man. They see that there's no more seats and their boy was late. Why on earth would they fight it after "there's no more seats". Fucking Brady Bunch.

Shit is hilarious. "Larry your friend is the bitchest individual I've seen in my life" 😂😂😂

/sub/madboiis

One time in the union on my college's campus I walked past this black dude handing out flyers for some club or something without taking one and he goes "OKAY THANKS jessica" (not my name but I'm a white girl)

I 100% believe this happened and actually laughed my ass off

Check out the Zola story then yo

Modern day Rosa Parks 👏👏

And yet, you're still able to focus on who is who. This guy should write.

brings laptop to lecture

plays Leage of Legends the entire fucking time

"these tests are so fucking stupid how are we supposed to know this shit"

Thotessy*

Because they think their friends are more important than people who actually follow the goddamn rules.

It's funny because he was being extra disrespectful by calling them the lesser group (Beatles) instead of Migos.

Haha I liked the Tony hawk voice part, fuckin spot on

Me too, Agustin

Modern day Odyssey

http://i.imgur.com/QIeF9Cs.jpg

My Saltine Cracker Ass: Fuck that shit, you damn well know I ain't getting up! I just woke up 20 minutes ago I ain't taking a fucking step. You lucky I'm not taking a fucking nap right here.

(False, the reality is I'd get up as I hate confrontation)

OKAY THANKS jessica

I imagined him shouting then saying the name softly

brings laptop to lecture

plays Leage of Legends the entire fucking time

I don't know about you all but I can't wait for the update. Geoff and his gaggle can neck dicks for dragging the prof over. I hope the thrilling conclusion is they fuck up the classrooms and all sit 3 hrs early in a room 2 doors down.

Raises hand to use the washroom

YOU WANNA GO TO WAR, BALAKE?

https://storify.com/yomike/a-wild-weekend-in-florida

World War Crow is a masterpiece.

is a masterpiece.

Except if this we're a white guy at a black table clowning on the dude that asked him to move everyone else at the table would start roasting their boy and now the white guy is their dude that everyone is cool with but only in that class.

All we whiteys have to do it slowly reach into our bags and mutter under our breath how we are going to get everyone. Then we get the whole table to ourselves!

My favorite episode has to be the one where he's the blind black leader of KKK

Especially if he's calling them all Tyrone and Sheniqua and shit. That would be totally okay with everyone.

but you see black people are the real racists u know

No, I wouldn't. These people don't sound like they were just being all, "Aww, shucks, let's give it a shot." They sound like self-absorbed assholes.

Literally the first episode. He got us all hooked too early.

Obligatory GET BACK HERE JESSICA

I remember at community college there was a table of predominately black students and some random white kid sat there. Everything was going really well until he said nigga...

Yeah I would probably ask once, and if dude said "no, there's no extra seats" then I'd just laugh at my friend and tell him he's fucked. And then just try to get along with the guy that's already sitting there

Who the fuck has an argument with the guy that was on time?

Well I think the main reason this aspect is getting laughs is because it's a really overplayed trope that white people make fun of black people's names. And sure, sometimes it's funny, like Key and Peele with LaCarpetron Dookmariot, but more or less black people are just supposed to expect to take it on the chin, so although it might be in poor taste, seeing the tables turned will easily draw a few laughs.

EDIT: Jesus fuck I get it, key and peele are black so it's a bad example, but it would take me at least as many minutes as it takes for me to bang OPs mom (1, by the way) to count how many times I've heard Bill laugh about T'Variusness King to the rest of the Swiss Family Robinson.

brings laptop to lecture

plays starcraft the entire fucking time

ends up setting the curve for the class

On the other hand Mr. Kim was Korean.

He didn't say it in real life though so it would have been a better response irl, but it'd be worse for the written story :/

Seriously. I can't even read the /sub/4chan line-at-a-time style story but this was so good I was riveted.

"Caucizoid" Oh my god this man has a way with words. I'm taking this.

That's uh... That's an actual (slightly misspelled) word. Like Negroid and Mongoloid.

For real, the what year you think this is? tweet was the funniest/most clever in the bunch, but that was some race cardius maximus. No shit they got defensive, the last thing any sane white person wants to be is a labeled racist. But if the races were flipped and the white guy was just changing names to Daquan and Taiyesha, it would be called racist.

For real, the what year you think this is? tweet was the funniest/most clever in the bunch, but that was some . No shit they got defensive, the last thing any sane white person wants to be is a labeled racist. But if the races were flipped and the white guy was just changing names to Daquan and Taiyesha, it would be called racist.

Spencer was such a bitch

The Beatles reunion was way better. Definitely more original.

I swear these assholes just come here to get pissy when someone makes jokes about white people

I'm fairly certain this is going to be the catchphrase stuck in my head the next few times I get upset with someone.

Oh for fuck's sake just enjoy the damn story

...my name's Nathaniel. Though I've never gone by it. Admittedly I was also born 21 years ago. And yes, I'm as white as a sugar cookie.

NAAAAOOOW JESSIKAAAA

Dammit I was hoping that was real lol

Something about the format makes it funnier for stories like this. Always on the edge of your seat for the next two sentences. Wouldn't be as good if it was just a big paragraph on Facebook or something

That's a bold move Cotton. Let's see how it plays out for him...

You may be surprised what you can get in life by just asking

OMFG You made my fucking week! What a story... As I was reading I was like... damn this shit could be turned into a film haha! I can't believe this is the first I'm hearing of this and it's a year old...

My name is also Agustin. Feels fucking good man

I've seen a very similar situation play out before.

In retrospect

But I thought Rae sremmund are the real black Beatles?

Then they continue to gaslight him "you're overreacting it's just a seat!" (That they originally made a big deal out of)

see you can joke about minorities all you want here on reddit, but don't even dare to say something even remotely negative about white people.

Even with all the names he gave, I still lol'd at Nathaniel. Like who aside from mormon parents would name their kid that today?

Asking him if he would possibly move to another seat is fine, but asking him to just get up and stand the whole class is ridiculous

you cant be letting people take advantage of you cause one moment they just want a chair and the next moment they talking about "who brought the draco" so your better off letting them know whos not getting the motherfucking chair

BuT If ThE RoLEs WeRE REveRsED ThO!!

YOU DONE MESSED UP A-A-RON!

Over booking classes is pretty common, people usually drop by the first day or first week. Sometimes students aren't sure they can get into their first choice class so sign up for second choice and are on the wait list for first choice.

Give me a black goddess sister I can't resist her. No stringy haired, blonde hair, blue eyed, pale skinned buttermilk complexion. Grafted, recessive, depressive, ironing board backside straight up and straight down. No frills, no thrills, Miss six o'clock, subject to have the itch, mutanoid, caucazoid, white cave bitch...

Ice Cube, 1993

Didn't someone start a sub for long twitter stories once? if anyone knows it and could tell me that would be great

but if u ignore centuries of racial tensions and atrocities then u can see why making fun of my seasoning is the same as being called various slurs

agree. People still carry over their habits from HS when they start college, especially in terms of friends.

I was in a dining hall with like 500 seats and 150 tables and it was only half full, I always ate during off / slow hours. I got my food and sat at a random table that was empty and surrounded by a hundred empty tables. Three people walked up to me sitting at an empty table. I thought "alright going to make some friends." They asked me to move from their table. I said are you fucking serious? There's no assigned seats this is college. There's 99 other tables to pick from. They sat next to me and then took the table when I left 15 minutes later.

neck dicks

College is vicious. In my freshman year, we have this history class and I set my bookbag in the front and went to talk to one of the teacher's aides. As I go back to my seat, a white chick immediately runs to that seat and sits down next to her friend who took the chair next to mine. I go to say something and realize she's just sitting down, staring straight ahead like she doesn't see me. I simply took my bookbag and went to another seat. In retrospect, I should've just sat in her lap. The next class I saw them sitting in the same seats. I said something to them, but in retrospect, I should've just went to my seat. Freshman me was an idiot and not prepared for any time type of college back then.

I can't believe I've done this

You're so edgy and wicked smarht bro.

They're good dogs Bront

You're missing out then, some of my favorite pieces of short story fiction come from 4chan greentexts

Top post has to be Zola...big man thing I would love if that was made into a film

That's fine to ask, but don't get mad when you get rejected. It's a request, a person is able to say no.

I feel you Yoel (on the half chance you're Dominican)

"Statesboro, GA" Considering I went to that school, this story doesn't surprise me.

Ah man. I'll never forget my first test in college. Finished it relatively early. Walked up to the professor and whispered can I go now?

He was like "who's keeping you here". My little mind was blown. That was one liberating moment.

what kind of petty shit is this lmao

I'm black before any of the white kids here try virtue signaling bullshit

The brilliant thing about the phrase "virtue signaling" is that the only people who ever use it do so in order to signal their anti-PC virtues to others.

me too thanks

He didn't have to say shit.

You seem to have a lot of regrets.

True if big.

They would've said the same exact shit they said in his story.

BROCK

It's either that or the nigga who had to pay $0.25 to get fired via text.