Retail.

Retail.

Work at a large corporate steakhouse, we close at 10:30pm, this happened a few weeks back.

Host locks doors at 10:30, goes back in to finish sidework at host stand.

Gentlemen walks up to door, knocks, host tells him we are closed. Looks disgruntled, continues to stand there.

Different Customer who is in building already leaves at about 10:45, opens door, disgruntled gentlemen sneaks inside. Pulls up a seat at the bar, and is upset the bartenders won't serve him.

From when I worked retail in college.

"Are you closed?" (through the security gate) "Yes, sorry." "Does that mean I can't come in?"

This just blows my mind. Like what in the actual fuck is wrong with people like that

When I worked night audit at a motel in college, this would happen a ton. I'd put up a no vacancy sign and lock the office door, but people would attempt to open the door every night.

I resorted to printing out 20 no vacancy signs and every time someone would come up and ask, I responded by taping another sign to the glass door. One night I had 13 no vacancy signs up. Sometimes you have to make it into a fun game.

Edit: thanks for the gold! I'm glad this story brought you all some smiles.

This is exactly how the general public treats fast food workers

dont worry ill only be a sec

"Well at my job we have to do....." or some other kind of excuse that amounts to "misery loves company." It doesn't make them any less cunty, but in most instances it's people who either have shitty lives or think they have shitty lives, both of which are sad.

Worked at a gas station and my province passed a law stating that if there was only one employee on graveyard shift at a gas station, the doors had to be locked from 10pm-6am and all transactions had to be performed through the safety window.

At first, we didn't have a proper sign for the doors or a microphone I could use to speak with people outside, so I had to yell through the open safety window/tray to get people to come over and use the window.

Then we got a microphone and a sign. The sign was, of course, ignored 99% of the time, but I could at least use the microphone to tell people to come to the window.

Eventually I got tired of watching people walk straight to the doors with the big sign on them saying we're locked for the night, tug on them... Wait... Tug on them again... Wait... Then give me the universal gesture for "WTF dude!?"

I decided to solve this issue once and for all by making my own sign on a piece of paper towel, which I took outside and taped over the door handles so that there was no way to tug on the handle without seeing the new sign, which explained better than the proper sign why the doors were locked.

People still walked up, saw the paper towel sign, didn't read it, and attempted to reach up under the sign to tug on the door handle until they realized it was locked and gave me the ol' "WTF dude!?" signal.

I wanted to rig up some sort of device to squirt people in the face with water if they tugged on the door, but sadly I lacked the technical expertise for such a device.

On the upside, my alternate graveyard shift guy had a much worse experience: Some lady came late at night with her kid asking to use the washroom, so he calmly explained that we weren't legally allowed to open our doors for any reason between 10pm and 6am or we could get a huge fine for the gas station as well as a large fine personally. She proceeded to yell "FINE!" and pulled her kid's pants down and told the kid to just "Go right here, then!"

TL;DR - The general public is dumb.

Edit: Holy Shazzbot! Gold! My first gold even! Thank you kind stranger!

I was a teller at a financial institution. We opened at 9, pretty much the same time any bank opens anywhere. Yet every single day, people would walk up at about 830 and pull on the doors. They were locked of course yet people would keep pulling and stare through the windows at us employees opening the building. They'd knock and wave at us, look at the printed opening hours on the door, then try pulling open the door again. After a few minutes they'd storm away back to their car yelling and gesticulating. Every day.

I can't count the number of times I've closed a store and had customers show up 5-15 minutes after the last register started the count down, and yet they always act like they are unique in just needing one item and "it will only take a second". I've had to explain to one guy that no, I can't just go inside and buy it for him because the registers are all closed. He then tried to act like I'm willing to take a theft charge by just taking his money and giving it to him anyway.

Never worked fast food but god as a cashier when you turned your lane light off and people still line up then get pissed that you won't ring them up.

"This woman was already in line before I closed dude that's why I'm helping her you came a clear 5 minutes after"

And the holiday season is just the worrrssst don't get me started on Black Friday I'm glad some stores are chillin on that shit at least for the workers sake

I worked at a grocery store. It was the hottest day of the summer, and Canada Day on a Saturday, so everyone has the day off and is doing barbecue. There is not a single hot dog or burger bun left in the city past noon. The bread section is filled with a black-friday sort of mob, and they swarm me as I make the mistake to wander nearby. First people ask if we have more buns. I check the back, ask around, come back. Tell them we don't.

Second person in ''line'' hears that, and asks... the same question. I tell them we don't have any more buns. Well... can you check? ...I do, to make them go away.

Third is a couple in the mob that has been waiting and listening. They want buns... The cycle repeats.

I would get this question seventeen times in a row. I know because I was counting. This was my only way of keeping sane. Some of them wouldl disperse upon hearing the same question in front of them four times, many would not. They are special. Sure, there's no normal buns for ordinary people, but they know how to ask to get what they want. How can we not have buns, they just came from every other store and none of them had buns! How can we not have buns at this point? I guess in there mind it is truly simpler for me to play this elaborate masquerade and waste two minutes on each of them, than it would be to just bring more bread. I'm in retail, so I'm dumb and lazy, unlike.... those people.

As I said, there is a huge group and I go through this sixteen times. Come number 17, a nice naive lady. She has been here from the beginning and listened to the whole thing, but told others to go first because she wasn't in a hurry. She has a question.

''You want to know if we have buns?

-Id like to know if you have buns!

-We don't, sadly, as I explained to all those people.

-Do you... think you have some in the back?

-I absolutely don't.

-Well... could you check for me please?

-Ma'am, you are the seventeenth person to ask that in a row. Nobody believes me. All i'm doing at this point is... I go in the back, not look anywhere, because we don't have any, and I come back here to tell people we don't have buns. Do you want me to pretend i'm going in the back, NOT look anywhere, and come back to tell you we don't have them?

-Yes please, that would be nice.''

Ok. Lets do this. How far can I take it? I stare at her. Never in this whole time will I look at anything but her. I move backward, still looking at her nonstop. I give the door a gentle kick, pushing it open behind me. I don't move. I don't get near the door more than I need to. I definitely do not peek inside or even turn my head in that vague direction. I wait for the door to close. I just kicked the door and stared at her. She stares at me. Nobody moves. She waits. Am I getting fired for this? I don't even care at this point. She waits.

Finally I walk back towards her, keeping my gaze fixed on her at all times. I take my most professional and sorry tone. She looks at me with expectation. My faith in humanity just melts and leaks into the cracks of the floor, never to be seen again. She looks at my empty hands that never once moved in this whole adventure. She thinks I found buns. I must have!

''-Well, ma'am, I just went in the back and didn't look around.

-Oh? Did you find them? You have buns? ( She is gleeful and filled with hope.)''

I drop the bomb.

''-Sorry, we are out of buns.

-Oh... well, thank you for looking!'''

She is shattered. Everyone else disperse. There is no limit to human stupidity.

Edit the first: Holy shit gold, what. Best poop session ever. People seem to like this, Ill edit mistakes and add the rest of the holy trinity of retail hell when I'm on a non-phone.

Edit the second: The rest of the Holy Trinity of Retail Hell.

I've told this one down below quickly, as a reply to someone who possibly couldn't believe the first story was true. This is the story of the red tomato Lady.

A girl approaches me, and asks where she can find bottled red peppers in oil. I give her specific instructions, and she leaves, only to reappear moments later, saying she couldn't find it. I walk with her to the spot, and show her a few bottles.

She is adamant that those can't be what she wants.

I show her the tag, in frot of the product. it says red pepper. It also says red pepper on the sticker, with a pepper drawn on it. Oh, also the bottle is transparent so you can see through. She gets as angy as they get, like im the dumbest motherfucker on earth, and screams:

''NO. THAT'S NOT IT, THOSE ARE RED. RED ALWAYS MEAN TOMATO!!!''

time freezes. I'm moving in slow motion, thinking at lighting speed. this is the greatest puzzle I ever faced. what can i answer. where did this woman go wrong? there is just... nothing I can do here, like... the very fundation of her knowledge is flawed, heck, missing. I have no grounds to stand on. I can't possibly begin to understand how this statement can be made. She has to be dumb on.... on all the levels.

Around me, the store goes silent. she is... very loud, and making a scene. About a dozen customers stop and move closer, silent. This is no longer about groceries. this is about this loud, batshit woman and her poor grasp on the fundation of reality.

Time is still in slow motion. Where do I begin? she asks for RED peppers, but refuses to ackowledge that those can be, because to her, everything thats red is a totamto. how many different things can she process in total? Like, maybe thirty? How many colors does she know? is everything yellow also just the same thing to her? What's green associated with? If it's say, grass, does she assume lettuce is grass? Is a green shirt grass to her? how does her brain work? how can she asks for something called red pepper and reject it on the ground that it must be a tomato? It's in the name? What does she picture when she thinks of a red pepper, if not that? How does she...

I'm boiling. This is the hardest i ever brainstormed on any single thing. I can't wrap my head around it. I just hand her the bottle I picked up, and give it to her.

''Ma'am, I,m sorry, but there is no possible answer to this statement that won't be incredibly offending, so imma just give this to you and be on my way.''

I left. People laughed, and resumed their lives. I assume they still reflect on it to this day, reassuring themselves, thinking they must have misheard. Sometimes i wish I did too, but i know i heard what i heard.

Third part of the trinity as a reply, character limit and shit

I worked graveyard at a fast food place that was in the back of another business, and the owner had us close down one night to repaint everything. Unfortunately the other business was still open, and they were connected by an opening so we couldn't lock it, but we put up a barrier of chairs and ropes and signs with an explanation and all the lights in the lobby were off.

We're standing on ladders wearing overalls and holding paintrollers and someone walks up, unhooks the ropes, moves the chair barrier to the side so he can get through, then walks up to the counter and stares at us.

"Are you open?"

At least he asked before ordering, I guess...

Was working an opening shift at a store in the mall. I was getting my tills ready still, so lights are half on, I'm eating breakfast while shooting the shit with my coworker, and this lady pushes my gate open. I politely tell her were closed, and to come back in ten minutes.

"Oh it's okay, we're just looking."

"No, we're not open, if you want to look, please come back in ten minutes."

"No no, it's fine, we're just having a quick look"

"Well, please come back in ten minutes and look then, we are not open yet."

"We're just looking, so it's fine."

"Ma'am, please leave the store before I call security for trespassing."

I got a "well I never" look, but she and her friend promptly left. In a huff, but they left.

"Sorry ma'am your food will be just a couple minutes. Could I get you to pull forward so we can keep the drive-through line moving?" "No"

When I worked in retail

"Why are you closed"

"We shut at 6"

"My watch says its only 5:57"

"Well sorry, I think your watch is wrong then"

"blank stare..... no it isnt"

How the FUCK do these people make it through life.

This is pretty much the only explanation. I've never said it to someone cause I'm sure a shit storm would ensue, but I have always wanted to say "I don't come to your office job at 5pm and tell you to stay another 5 minutes. Why do you think you can do it at my job?"

I call those people zombies. I'd lock the door and do a last run through of facing and people would come to the door and knock, just stare, or try to get me to come over.

I would always explain the drawer is being counted and we are closed but it was "well I'll give you money for it if you just give it to me" or "it's just one item, come on" or one of my favorites "I'm using a card, not cash, so it's ok"

I would always tell them to go to the 24 hour Walgreens a mile away but why do what's easier.

"Let me see if you are in our system, what's your phone number?"

"I don't know, I never call myself."

"Do you have any vacancies?"

One time we were doing a remodel and had to move this big scissor lift into the store. They brought it around 5am and we had to open both front doors to fit it through. This guy casually steps around it and strolls in (mind you this is a pet store with all lights still off). I tell him we're not open until 8am and he gets super pissed "WELL IF YOU'RE NOT OPEN THEN WHY ARE THE DOORS OPEN??" I told him we tried putting the scissor lift through the wall, but that didn't work so we had to use the open doors. Let's just say that answer didn't cool him down any...

But she told you it was fine!

Jeeze if people could do this terminator style, after-close customers would be even more annoying

...5 minutes. Ha. More like 3 hours. I promise you he didn't sneak into a bar at 11 PM to have a drink and bounce.

I had a guy absolutely lose his shit at me when he drove up to our McDonald's half an hour passed closing and found out that we could not, in fact, make him food.

Man you had to drive up to the window of a darkened store and bang on the drive through window to get my attention as I was cleaning, what did you think was gonna happen? Well I mean I know he thought I was going to rev up those fryers for him but still.

I always just assume that they can't read. This is one of the main reasons I don't help adult customers much anymore unless they're super nice. If they get angry I just ask them if they can read, because all of the info is written literally in front of them.

Having worked in fast food, i appreciate what people go through who work there. I stopped at a Hardees one day around lunch time and the door was locked. I was actually worried because it was very unusual. I drove around to the drive through and the manager told me that his whole store had skipped work. He was trying to run the whole place by himself. He unlocked tbe door for me and fixed my food. As I was eating I heard people cussing him through the drive through after he told them be was alone in tbe restaurant. Fucking savages

I told my manager and she came to the window and basically said the same thing to her, which then got a very condescending "no I think I'm just gonna sit here and wait for my food". Keep in mind this was literally the peak of lunch rush on an already busy day.

She ended up sitting there until she got her food. Then my manager said something along the lines of "don't worry I know that bitch she works at (clothing store pretty much next door to this Mcdonalds). I'm gonna go in there on her shift and make a scene about something"

Oh my god this shit JUST happened to me, although slightly different.

So I work at the LEGO store in a mall, and we have bricks kids can play with near the front of the store. So of course shitty people think this means we will babysit their kids for free while they go shop. No.

"Excuse me I need to check my membership at GNC"

"Okay."

"And my kid is right there, but I'm not leaving"

"Okay."

"So I'll be right back."

"We do not allow unsupervised children in our store, you need to be here."

"It's okay I'm not leaving, I'll be at GNC."

"Yes you are. You are not going to be in our store"

"Well what about any of the women, sometimes they let me do this just ask them" (this is both a sexist assumption and a lie)

"We do not allow unsupervised children in our store, you need to be here"

Same "well I never" expression. Some fucking people.

When I was working at a hardware store, I had a grown ass man sneak into the store through a closing door as an employee was leaving and scream at me (15y/o girl at the time) because I couldn't access his account to process his purchase. Because the power had been shut off for the night. He demanded that I turn the power for the whole store back on and that of course we were open since he was able to get in...

He came back the next day and tried to get me fired for refusing to serve him

Edit: It was a family owned business, and I live in NY where you can start working at 14 with working papers. We closed early (6:30-7) because it was a small business in a small town. Jesus people, do you want my resume or something?

Flammable means enflammable?

While not as.. extreme in blocking the entrance way, a dollar store was being remodeled and I was sub-contracted to take care of a few things within the store. As I drove in I saw 5 different signs each saying the store was closed due to remodeling, and a giant red sign was plastered one of the two doors to the business also saying "Closed".

After confirming I was supposed to be there I went to work.. and over the course of an hour, a single hour, 8 different "Customers" waltzed in, looked confused when I or one of the other many workers clad in various states of belts with tools told that the store was closed, even had one of those "customers" just wander around the store a bit (blatantly ignoring me and 2 other individuals), picked up something and went looking for the register only to get mad that the store was in disarray and the register wasn't there.

I had no words.

"The customer is always right." Fucl this and fuck you who think that. That shit happens on a daily basis to me. We close our restaurant at 10 30, people will call at 11 when we are cleaning to ask "hey are you guys still doing deliverys? Hey can I come and pick up? Why are you guys closing so early?" Because mother fuckers I want to go home, smoke and get drunk cause of you assholes.

I can't tell you how many times, while working drive-thru, I would ask someone to wait because I was doing something, and they would just start shouting their order into the speaker then drive forward in the line without waiting for me to even respond. They weren't even paying attention. In my opinion it was just as frustrating as when they would come in at or near closing time.

I also remember one other incident from my days in fast food. We had a tornado warning issued for our town and there was no way you couldn't know, because we were a block from the fire station and the siren was blaring. We had told the customers in the dining room that they could join us in the walk-in cooler or they could leave, but they couldn't stay out in the dining room. We had people pounding on the drive-thru window pissed off that we wouldn't take their order, while nickel sized hail pelted their car and an 80mph wind was blowing. Because, you know, it's apparently my duty to lay down my life so you can soothe your craving for a $1.50 ice cream cone. People turn crazy when they come to a fast food restaurant. All logic and understanding goes out the window.

One of my favorite things working retail was closing that gate on people. One time around Christmas I was up front closing up. A woman holding hands with her 2 small children were bouncing up to the door. It was like a movie. Loving mom and 2 perfect children ready to pick out Christmas gifts.

Locked both doors, slammed the gate down, turned around and never looked back.

invade the polish

"Do you have a number with us?" Tells me their number "Sorry, that number isn't in our system." "I've never been here before."

I used to work at a pizza shop between two bars. Closing time (2am) was like a zombie apocalypse. You needed two people. Your coworker had to guard the door while you scrape the half-naked people off the floor and shove them outside. Then you'd have to brace the door with your body while the coworker throws the latch, fists pounding on the glass.

Made good tips.

My favorite is when they call 15 mins before you close and ask to stay open "just a little longer, sorry dude, I'm on my way!" But then never show up.

I think life in general would just be overall more terrifying.

Some people really just try to make your day worse. This is why customer service is so shit now. I work retail and this was one of my favorites.

Dude: Hey do you guys have plain white shirts?

Me: All of our shirts have patterns but I can recommend other stores for you if you need..

Dude: Well what if I don't want a plain white shirt?

Me: Then go fucking look around the store! Why the fuck did you ask the first question.

That's great. How would they typically respond?

Once opened the door to let in a co worker before actual opening time.

Guy walks up.

"Sorry, sir, are not open until 9:00"

"Then why did she go in?"

"She works here..."

Why are you arguing with me??

I've had this happen to me. It was ten minutes past closing time at the grocery store I work at. Glass sliding doors at the entrance were locked. Guy standing there.

Me: we're closed sir.

Him: do you have coffee?

Me: yes sir, but we're closed.

Him: the little ones that come in the box? (He meant K cups)

Me: yes sir, but we're closed.

Him: can you bring me two boxes?

Me: no sir. We're closed.

Him: come on! I got cash! (That doesn't help. We're fucking closed)

Me: we're closed sir. You'll have to come back tomorrow.

He storms off angrily

Me: have a nice night! :D

What a fucking cunt. I literally told him at least four times that we're closed.

That's a situation where you should have called the police.

15 y/o girl, alone in a store, with a man who snuck in after hours through an employee only door? That situation could have gotten really dangerous, really fast.

I've had a cashier turn off their light and tell me I'll be the last customer they help since I already have stuff on the belt. Even have me the little lane closed marker so I could put it behind my stuff. Someone shows up and stands behind me and I tell them that the cashier said I'll be the last customer helped. The person said, "oh, okay" and continued to stand behind me. I said, "no, after me the cashier is leaving" and pointed at the lane closed marker. The person said, "no it's okay, I only have a few things." This time the cashier chimed in and said the person will not be helped. The customer ignored them and continued to stand behind me. I just share an "oh great" glance with the cashier. You know the "oh great" glance, slight smirk and both eyebrows raised.

The cashier and I both left after our transaction was complete. No idea what happened to the customer.

At my job: "Don't you have anything? Can you just check again really quick?"

The grocery store where I worked, our customer service guys would come tell us to flip out lights off and put up the closed sign, but then they would stand guard at our line and deflect people away.

Multiple times a month actually. Im glad I got out of Mcdonalds because people suck

Some say he's still waiting

Wtf seriously?

In my experience it's more "Well the customer is always right." ... Like no fuck off I'm right we're closed.

"You are going to want to head west outside of the city and keep driving until you reach the Pacific Ocean. Once you are on the beach, continue driving into the water. Do not be alarmed if the car begins to fill with water, this is totally normal and is of no concern. You are going to want to let the vehicle sink to the ocean floor, and then you need to take 3 large gulps of water into your lungs. Do not panic, you will feel a calm come over you and as you begin to lose consciousness you will see our store just to the left. Hopefully that helps. Good luck."

Yup. Yesterday night two waiters flaked on my co-worker and I on a Saturday night. A day meant for four servers to handle, there were only two. I finally was able to get to serve one of the booths, and she huffed "finally", I told her "I apologize for the wait, we are severely understa-" .. "I WANT A SEAFOOD SOUP". Dumb bitch. She gave me attitude the whole night, I just gave her the worst service, idgaf. I'm so glad my bosses hate rude ass people and are the opposite of "customers are always right". I have 9 other tables to take care of, thank you for making my job easier by not having to care for your table.

Eff that guy. McDonald's fryers are bitches to clean. Once its down, that shit isnt coming back on. Worked at McDonald's itp.

I work at a mcdonalds and one time our manager overslept and I didn't have the number to anybody else with keys. So I drove to another store in town owned by the same people to see if they could call someone. When I returned it was approximately 10 minutes past opening time and there was a line in drive thru 5 cars deep, to a dark store with no lights and not a single car in the parking lot. They were just sitting there saying "hello, hello you gonna take my order or not! HELLO WHAT THE HELL TAKE MY ORDER"

My manager showed up about five minutes later and so naturally he makes me get a headset to tell people its going to be at least half an hour to which all but one shouted obscenities at me, and the last one said "ok so I guess I'll come back, I've been waiting 45 minutes what's another 30" at 445 in the morning. Who the fuck just lioters around town at that ungodly hour with nowhere to go???

So she's been cruising waiting for hour store to open and there's a corporate 24 hour store no filurther than 10 minutes away. Unbelievable

Idk why people can't read a god damn sign. A couple times I've made signs for the store that said "due to an ordering error, we are all out of -----". Customers will walk right past the sign and order, getting pissed when we don't have the item. Had one lady ask for the manager (me) and ask why we didn't have a sign up and that we wasted her time. "WE DO ITS RIGHT THERE OMG"

By being entitled pieces of shit. Like what do you think you're going to do in 3 minutes? I bet he would have been your store longer, and thus making him the dick even if his watch is right. Retail is the worst and I'll dig ditches before I ever do that shit again.

This is why I stand guard over the door when straggler customers still around after closing time are ready to leave.

I work at a pizza place and if people call after close I always answer if I'm still there just on the off chance there is an issue I need to resolve with an order. If not I politely tell them we are closed. I had one guy who called 45 minutes after close so I answered.

"Hey are you guys open?"

"No unfortunately we closed 45 minutes ago, can I help you with anything else?"

"Wow so you can't make just one pizza for me?"

"No sir, unfortunately our ovens are off and take a bit to start up. Also the day is already pretty much closed and were about to head out."

"I literally can't believe you can't make me one pizza, this is 2017 I'm gonna order from Marcos."

"Thank you, have a great night sir."

click

What the fuck is wrong with people?

I hate when people do this. This is a common way store are robbed. They act like a customer who got there after close, they try to get you to open the door, then they stick a gun in your face. My cousin was robbed at gunpoint that way.

If you get to a store after close and see employees inside, leave them alone. Don't put them in that position. They have their hours posted. If you can't get there during those hours too bad.

I would like to point out that this is the same asshole from the Krusty Krab Pizza episode who throws the pizza back in Spongebob's face because he forgot the soda.

someone walks up, unhooks the ropes, moves the chair barrier to the side so he can get through, then walks up to the counter and stares at us.

Fuckin' hell I can't understand this logic.

Oh no. I can't get through. I'm being blocked off and there are signs everywhere. Better keep going... they must be open!!!!

At my work we lock the current customers in and stand by the door to let them out to stop people from coming in. I had this dude stay in the store up until about 15mins before closing looking round. He comes back like 10mins after closing with his wife and I was just baffled

(Continued from above)

Last part of the holy Trinity, is the lady who won't catch a clue. See, if you work retail, you are by all definition a retard. There's no way around that. And lazy. If a retail guy tells you anything, it's because he's lazy, and saying something else would require more work.

So this lady comes to me, and to keep her identity secret we'll call her MEGACUNT. Megacunt wants a special type of spice, but sadly the imported sections are not exactly powerhouses. People move in the neighborhood, suck up to the owner saying they need a special product that's really great, and the owner gets it, then we'll never see those people again. A box of twelve will sell like one unit over the next two years, then it goes past the Best Before date, and we get rid of it, and won't order more for obvious reasons. I like to take those products and fill them in for a partial refund with the warehouse, because it happens in a place where customers are not. Couple that with a good memory and the fact everyone else just dump all their clueless customers on me, and I have a reputation for knowing everything in the store. like, the owner himself will sometimes ask me stuff because he can't always keep up with all the specifics. Sadly, this is all overshadowed by the fact that i work detail, making me both dumb and lazy.

Megacunt comes in, and she wants the spices. I explain to her that i know exactly what she wants, sadly we are out of these, as they didn't sell well and are now back order, meaning we won,t be getting any. i show her the tag in front of an empty shelf, and explain the code on it, also adding when that happened. I show her a few products that are similar, in case that can help her.

Supercunt is having none of that. Can't I just ask my manager? I tell supercunt that there are two people in the whole store who can answer her, one is on vacation, the other is me. Hell, you could certainly ask the owner himself, but chances are he'll be back here and just ask me.

Supercunt leaves angry, as I'm lazy and didn't do any work, and also I'm probably wrong because bluh bluh bluh retail. She comes back with... the new guy.

''Yo, Tauposaurus, this girl has a question but i have no idea what she wants. She wants.... What did you want?

-She wants x-brand of spices, this size, sadly they are back order since January, and we won't have any more. (I show new guy the code for that, while I'm there). If she wants, there are some other things that are similar, these and these.

-Oh, ok thanks man. Did you follow that ma'am?

-Hum, yes thanks.''

Supercunt looks at me, angry. This is not the answer she wanted. I look at her with the most unimpressed face and tell her ''I told you. Supercunt is not happy about this. She leaves, and return five minutes later with another person, whom she fetched from some random section. Sadly, this is a butcher, so he has no clue what she wants. his go to reaction is to find the one person he knows can answer shit, and we are back here.

''-Hi, this customer has a question for you! You can ask him, lady.

-...Hi back. How can i help you this time.''

This plays back another time. I don't flinch. I just deliver the entire information to her again, as professionally as I can. Do I have a smug face? I guess I sort of do. But then again, I'm retail so I don't know shit.

She comes back with the friendliest bag boy she can find. He comes to me, and i reenact the whole explanation. I don't flinch. i want to know how far she can go, before she gets a clue. Quite far, it turns out. She comes back with a cake maker. Yup, a cake maker, for some chili mix. She'll know. Oh wait, she comes to me.

''It's been what, four times, five? I'm not saying i know what I'm talking about, I'm just saying... I'm impressed by how dedicated you are to not trusting me. Say, when you fetch each of those other employees, and they all bring you to me, what are you saying to yourself? Are you thinking, hum, I guess I'll just listen to this whole story again and grab a sixth guy?''

She looks at me with a death stare. She knows I'm right, but she definitely isn't admitting it. not at this point. She'll take any small victory she can get. any different, slightly different answer will do. Supercunt leaves on her crusade once more. She returns with the manager. The manager doesn't have time to learn all the details, so he explains to this so charming lady that he'll ask an expert.

''Hey, Tauposaurus, my expert, I have a client here who needs something, maybe you can help me?

-Yeah, she wants x-brand type of spices, but they are backorder since january. We won't be getting anymore, but we have those three other brands that do about the same thing.

-Did you hear that, madam?

-Yes, yes, she did. She's asked six people already, and each time they come to me and I repeat the whole thing, but she somehow doesn't trust me.

-...

-Well, at least now that she got the manager, and you came to ask me, she'll probably believe it.''

She's right there, I don't really care anymore. This manager is chill. I guess this is over now. manager repeats everything I just said, Supercunt thanks him, and leaves. The end.

Or... is it?

Supercunt comes back with the store owner. Oh wow. This is happening. we are talking about 5-7 minutes per iteration of this whole shitshow. She has spent almost an hour on this. Her ice cream is probably fucking dead. Her steaks are changing colors. Supercunt doesn't care. I'm retail, I'm dumb and lazy. Obviously I'm doing this because I don't want to do more work. I can't mess around in front of the owner himself, so I play dumb. Maybe she went and registered a complaint? Nope. she asked the owner about her fucking spices. Owner says he,ll ask someone who might know. Time to play dumb. Time to ask so many questions. I smile. The owner complains that I don't smile enough, but here I am truly happy and friendly with this lady. I am enjoying every single moment of it, and I want it to last forever.

-What product did you want? How do you spell it? When did you say you last purchased that? Was that some... chili spicing or something? hum yes, I think it rings a bell. the box was... was there a tiny man and this and this on the box? now, let me tell you all about those various other products we have instead. In detail.

My boss is delighted. I usually don't give a shit about customers, but here i am offering amazing advice. ''See, I told you we had an expert on the matter! Good work, Tauposaurus.''

As the boss leaves, I turn to Supercunt. ''You should probably get your stuff home in a fridge before you drag the chain owner back here for another round. Pharmacy is aisle ten, if your ego hurts too much.''

Bitch you don't work here! You don't get to decide that!

I locked up our store one night and saw this lady walk up to the doors of a darkened store in a carpark with 1 employees car in it, the doors didn't open for her so she stood staring at me while I had my back to her until I happened to turn towards the doors, saw her standing and started to walk towards her, and she give me the universal, "move faster" hand symbol, that thing where you roll your hands over each other, that annoyed me a touch, so I get to the door, put my key in the mode selector thing, open it and she says "So are you opened or closed?"
I'm thinking Excuse me?
I tell her we closed 10 minutes ago,
"I suppose there's no way I can get in to get a couple of things"
"No." 
And I just stood staring at her after this while she obviously hoped I'd just let her in.
How can you be so oblivious to the fact that the store is clearly close and the fact that the people working in there are trying to get home when their shift ends, not 10 minutes after because you were late coming to "get a couple things"

I locked up our store one night and saw this lady walk up to the doors of a darkened store in a carpark with 1 employees car in it, the doors didn't open for her so she stood staring at me while I had my back to her until I happened to turn towards the doors, saw her standing and started to walk towards her, and she give me the universal, "move faster" hand symbol, that thing where you roll your hands over each other, that annoyed me a touch, so I get to the door, put my key in the mode selector thing, open it and she says "So are you opened or closed?" I'm thinking I tell her we closed 10 minutes ago, "I suppose there's no way I can get in to get a couple of things" "No." And I just stood staring at her after this while she obviously hoped I'd just let her in. How can you be so oblivious to the fact that the store is clearly close and the fact that the people working in there are trying to get home when their shift ends, not 10 minutes after because you were late coming to "get a couple things"

Any time someone does this while I'm managing I give them a refund and tell them to leave. There's no point in keeping those customers around when they just hurt business and stress your workers out

Seriously!! I would never refuse someone service if they made it in before closing time, but after closing you can fuck right off. I have a pregnant wife at home waiting on me and I would like to get home at a reasonable hour.

Personally, I never go into a restaurant or similar service industry places 30 minutes before close. It's just rude.

You got it backwards. 

https://media.giphy.com/media/l2Je84hGTuL3Y8rfi/giphy.gif

You got it backwards.

I had someone call and ask for directions from their home to the store...I don't know where you live nor the methods of transportation available to you?

I once locked the doors because lobby was closed, a family came through the back of the store, they got very vocal when i told them we were closed and obviously heavily cleaning

I piss people off by pretending to be ignorant to what the want until they use their words. Our food is set out so you can pick wth nice little labels to let you know the names, but everyone just points vaguely at four different items and says "chicken"... Cool, all of those are indeed chicken. It always turns into

vague pointing "chicken"

"OK sir/maam, which chicken would you like?"

"That one" same pointing that is supposed to magically work now

"Ok, I can't see which one you're pointing at. How about its name or color?"

getting annoyed "That chicken!!" aggressive pointing that smudges my sneeze guard but still includes multiple chicken options

sickly sweet smile and voice like I'm speaking to a confused child "ok. We want a chicken in this area" gesture to entire area their pointing could mean "but we need a name so I can know which one, do you know the name?"

growls out name and storms to register to pay

But it's always me making the process hard. Not the person refusing to say what's usually a one syllable name.

That's called trespassing.

I used to work for an office supply store and this is what we had to do as well. Corporate wouldn't let us kick anyone out either so we literally had to let them finish before we could start the closing down procedure. The problem was that there was often only two people working on the weekdays closing. This meant that one person had to man the door and one person had to be the super register man that would ring people up, take orders for printing, and help out wherever guests were in this store. It usually wasn't a problem but every now and then people would come in a large pack.

I worked there for a long time and it was still better to have the guard on the door over helping in the store because people are ridiculous. We would have people force the door open even though it clearly said closed and the lights in the front were off. I hated those people.

Most memorable experience was having to call the police on someone. When we wouldn't let him in he started banging on the door and kicking it shouting every obscenity his limited vocabulary could handle. Just a reminder, this was for an office supply store. We didn't have food, we didn't hold his car in an impound, we didn't arrest his child, we just didn't let him buy his pen (or whatever he wanted). Police finally show up and the second he sees them pull into the parking lot he tries to get them to force us to open. It was truly unbelievable. Long story short, we didn't open for him and the police were kind enough to wait for us to finish and stayed until we left to make sure psycho didn't come back to the parking lot.

Edit: thank you for my first gold!

Those Snickers commercials are so on point

He had a 5am pet store appointment... seems legit

And I thought people were crazy when they came in at 7:30am for friggin watch batteries

"Shit, watch went dead. Oh well, maybe I can swing by and get a new battery before work"

Seems sensible to me

My personal favourite was the one guy screaming and banging on the door about how he needs ice cream for his pregnant wife. That guy got a pity pass, and true to his word he picked up only ice cream and hightailed it out of there like his ass was on fire.

I have a regular at my restaurant that comes in like 10-15 minutes before close every time, makes her complicated custom order, and then doesn't even tip. Worse yet, when she finishes her food, she just sits and chats with my staff while they're trying to do their closing tasks. Every time she comes in, it adds 30 minutes to my shift. The last manager even gave her a friends and family discount but I nipped that in the bud real quick. That's some serious entitlement right there.

I said biiiiiiiiiiitch I'm just looking. So it's fine.

Fast food worker here, can confirm.

This is actually starting to become normal where I live. Usually whoever gives the cashier the go head they shut the light off and that person goes behind the last customer and stands there until the cashier is done.

This kind of thing is everywhere really. You may change the circumstances and the words a bit, but clients and co-workers are amazingly dense in all sorts of situations.

I just went through a project where I had to get 370 co-workers to take some online training. They already had accounts, they just had to respond to an e-mail sent to them from the site and create their own passwords. Guess how many times I heard "I need you to give me a password" and "I don't have an account. Make me an account"

And I thought people were crazy when they came in at 7:30am for friggin watch batteries, who's going to the pet store at 5?

Yes the precise second it became closing time.

I always ask how their day is going in a genuine way, not a 'hey how are ya I'll have 5 number 3's...' And almost 100% of the time the workers are taken aback by it, but they also respond positively to it. Like they get a stunned look on their face for a sec then say something like 'im having an OK day, thank you so much for asking man.'

And guess what? I almost always get great service, and if something goes wrong they go above and beyond to fix it. If there's extras laying around, they'll put it on my plate. If there's a fresher batch coming out, they'll give me a heads up and recommend I wait.

As the saying goes, it takes respect to get respect.

"How the hell should I know it's only 7.30? My watch is dead!"

When I worked at Best Buy during college I would have to work on Christmas Eve and we would be slammed with customers. People were total dicks and very impatient. Like I'm sorry you waited til the last goddamn minute but calm down.

After we closed I would take great pleasure in sitting in the parking lot for a good 5-10 minutes and watch as people would sprint to the front door only to jiggle a locked door. It's the little things.

I look forward to automation taking over fast food jobs. It would be great to watch rude, inconsiderate customers get angry and have no one to talk down to or yell at for not getting their way.

"Bro, how can you be a customer when the store is closed"

When I was out of Highschool my first job was at CompUSA before they closed down. This is exactly what people would do, early as hell in the morning, while all of our employees are having a pre-opening meeting. Banging on the door and asking "when do you open?!" while staring straight through the sticker on the window that says the store times.

I mean, if everyone could do it, I think life would be far less terrifying, since that is part and parcel of why it's so hard to kill T-1000.

Worked at a restaurant, had a customer who sent a pasta dish back to the kitchen because it was too hot. They got a free meal out of it and I died a little inside

Well, you're right. I just always think 5 minutes because it's the idea of asking somebody to stay late at their job. If I asked any of the customers I get to stay late at their job for my own needs they would probably tell me to go suck it.

When I delivered pizza and had to call a customer because I couldn't find their house

Me: "Hi, I'm having a hard time finding your house. Can you describe it to me"

Customer: "Hold on, let me get my husband on the phone"

Me: "Is there a car in the driveway or a light on the porch or something"

Customer: "I don't know. I'll be right back with my husband"

How the fuck do you not know what your house looks like?

"So you're telling me there's a chance?"

But he had cash! /s

Why are you closed?!

I presume you closed it at exactly closing time.

Give them directions anyway, might as well have fun with it.

For this very reason, I'll never open the door/window for a customer past closing. The hours are there, they can get as upset as they like with a locked door between me and them.

Reminds me of the time I worked at a gas station that also sold propane. We had a large propane leak from our silo that was shooting massive amounts of propane engulfing the area in a giant cloud of propane mist. Fire team and police officers blocked off the area and evacuated nearby homes.

All gas pumps are self-serve, except for 1 pump where we offer to pump fuel for you.

Somebody came in their car, drove on the shoulder around the police blockade, drove into the gas station in-between the hazard cones that further blocked off the entrance, THROUGH the massive white cloud (my heart sunk at that moment cuz I thought I was about to die in a large explosion from that car igniting the propane), and parked their car at the service-pump waiting for somebody to pump their gas for them. I was speechless. They waited there until a firefighter ran up to them and told them to get the fuck out.

I watched all from a distance. To this day I still have no idea what was going through that person's head. Either pure ignorance, or horrible self-righteousness.

Not oblivious, entitled. They know what they're doing.