Pornhub, Redtube and Youporn will be joining the net neutrality protest Sept 10th.

Pornhub, Redtube and Youporn will be joining the net neutrality protest Sept 10th.

We're in. Let's make some waves! We'll be displaying an official widget from battleforthenet.com. We won't be shutting down or streaming your porn slower. There will be a big in your face message that users will need to close. We hope to reach around 50million people on Sept 10th. See battleforthenet.com for more information and how you can take action.

Now we need to get Netflix, Youtube, Facebook, Twitter, Vine, Instagram and Snapchat on board and we will be set.

Time to dust off that old VHS copy of Debbie Does Dallas.

Comcast is doing it for them.

Netflix shouldn't be hard to convince

A slow, hard, and firm message.

Next week: The Fapture

Honestly I think if anyone can stop the FCC from ruining net neutrality it will be the porn industry

Let's make a new film. Debbie's like 90 now. That would be fun.

Jesus what did I start

Thrusting net neutrality right in our faces

...They can't even

Everyone who fapped in the last 24 hours disappears from earth. The planet is inherited by amputees.

Get laid or die trying to get to her room

It's like college only with no "our whole lives ahead of us" bullshit.

I like it.

That's what bothers me. They're paying the ransom and they're still being throttled. I'll be testing my speed at 40 megs and Netflix can't maintain an HD stream.

Edit: fuck you Swype

They've driven HD more than you might realise

Eh, I'm thinking if porn slows down, and they have a giant banner that says "IF YOU WANT FASTER PORN CALL THE WHITE HOUSE, CALL CONGRESS, AND DON'T STOP" the congressional switch board will melt and our representatives will have little choice but to make the porn flow again.

edit - I've been told multiple times the porn apparently isn't being slowed. we all have our pitchforks ready, right? Let's point them at the people who made us think the porn would be slowed, TO CONGRESS!!!

at the start of every TV show or movie they should say "warning, if you have one of these internet providers your picture quality will be much worse due to them limiting our connections" or something like that

"Hahahaha"

-ISPs

He who controls the porn controls the universe.

Seriously, that was quick.

Edit: I did a very bad thing summoning Katie in the other thread.

Most people aren't aware that porn was largely responsible for the adoption of Bluray over HDDVD, VHS over Betamax, and the Dewey Decimal System over Charles Ammi Cutter's Expansive Classification

That's what she said!

:(

To be fair, there's a lot of that sort of thing going on at retirement communities. They're a hot spot for the spread of STDs.

Haven't they been paying though? They should stop paying right around that time.

sigh

"IF YOU WANT FASTER PORN CALL THE WHITE HOUSE, CALL CONGRESS, AND DON'T STOP"

OH GOD DON'T STOP

YOUR CIVIC ENGAGEMENT IS SO HUGE

For one week Google and Netflix should block all access to customers with IP addresses from these ISPs with a splash screen. Netflix should have a Netflix original documentary explaining the situation as the only accessible content.

Within 24 hours the ISPs will fold.

Time to dust off that old VHS copy of Debbie Does Dallas.

We'll be using the official widget from here, your porn will still flow freely but the masses will be made aware.


Nude pics of sexy ladies


http://i.imgur.com/W4CXyNd.jpg

Nude pics of sexy ladies

Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem!

They have driven a lot of stuff, suprisingly enough.

On a scale of 1 to even, I can't.

Okay... now the protest is guaranteed to succeed!

The moment you mess with porn, shit gets real! What do you think has driven the growth of the internet thus far(I had a source for this but forgot where I saw it)?

Yeah! Right in the pussy!

Who don't vote :/

As Dr. Cox from Scrubs said - "I’m fairly sure if they took porn off the internet, there’d only be one website left, and it’d be called 'Bring back the porn!'”

First moon colony, made by porn industry to film zero g porn! :P

The porn must flow.

Yup. Well explained.

Get laid or ...forget what I was doing and go play shuffleboard get laid.

ftfy

I think they did put up a message similar to that, but instead of saying "...if you have one of these internet providers...", they basically generalized it and said something along the lines of "Is your internet slow? Blame the ISPs".

NINJA EDIT: Nope. They straight up called Verizon out on their bullshit. Nude pics of sexy ladies (aka. screenshot)

I think they did put up a message similar to that, but instead of saying "...if you have one of these internet providers...", they basically generalized it and said something along the lines of "Is your internet slow? Blame the ISPs".

NINJA EDIT: Nope. They straight up called Verizon out on their bullshit.

I'd switch ISPs if I couldn't watch netflix.

Ha... good one. Unfortunately not everybody has this luxury.

They've been involuntarily participating for months

We'll be showing our support and donning the official widget as well. Free porn for everyone!

A message that penetrates the minds of elected officials, guiding them with a loving but firm and authoritative hand; delivered without breaking eye contact and waiting for that single tear to run down their cheek as they gaze up, heads bobbing slowly in agreement, back and forth, delivering stroke after stroke of signatures on new legislation.

Their eyes moist and a sense of apprehension fills the room as they close their eyes and allow the message to penetrate their hearts. Their fingertips clawing as the message inserts itself deep inside of them, reiterating its importance over and over until they cry out and the message leaves them quivering with a new, sticky realization that they can do the right thing even if their contributors pull their support.

A sense of relief will wash over them as the message leaves and they lay there in a glow of epiphany, limbs still twitching as some remains of the message seep out.

It's actually a huge in your face widget that needs to be closed.

1/6th earth gravity porn

Holy shit. All these sites have to do is slow your video streaming down to 28k and pop up an ad that says "slow streaming? Click here to find out why." This pops up a thing for net neutrality and after they read and click OK the video streams normally.

Nooooooooooo! These sites are too important to slowdown

Netflix has 31.7 million subscribers. You know damn well even ISPs like Comcast will have problems when millions of customers are pissed off because they can't watch their shows and demanding the ISPs fix the problem.

They would get a ton of shit. Even if you want to be the usual reddit pessimistic cynic, they would lose money and that would piss off shareholders quite a bit. They'd get a lot of pressure to fix the problem if that happened.

I'd switch ISPs if I couldn't watch netflix. I never watch cable. I stream any sports I like online, but shit it's not like my internet can get any slower

Well we pretty much won already huh?

Meta as fuck

Porn is the ultimate persuader with new technology.

Or at least it will be revealed who's a fucking liar.

http://i.imgur.com/VmXsRKb.gif

Duffman can't breath! OH no!

/sub/slowfap

Your username will be a gold mine in this thread.

"Everyone started having sex, the music was way too powerful..."

Ummm.... You'd actually click a popup link on a porn site?

That is how computers get more viruses than a $2 hooker.

Make a banner at the top saying "Slow Streaming? THIS is what the Net Neutrality movement is fighting." With a link to some information. That way, even if they don't click the banner, they can Google it.

I hear there's a surprise ending.

Zombocom has already thrown their support behind this effort

Get laid or ...forget what I was doing and go play shuffleboard get laid break hip while getting laid.

I'm literally can't dying right now

YES, WRITE LETTERS TO YOUR CONGRESSPERSON! RIGHT THERE! address displayed on a map

And Google

Hit 'em where it hurts the most.

Whoa whoa whoa, this net neutrality stuff is going to hurt my me time?

It's time to do something guys.

Can you imagine cumshots then?

fap fap fap

SON OF A FUCK BITCH CUNT ASSHOLE DICKLICKER DOUCHENOZZLE CUMFACED REDHEAD!!!

Oh, wait, this isn't the pornhub search bar...

bed ridden

That's the point I think.

I am now taking petitions for those who want to sign up for the Church of Faptology. Church leaders who show ambition will have the title "Master Bator" bestowed upon them, and lowest ranking members will hold the title "Soggy Fapsock" until they prove their worth and move up in the ranks. Higher ranking names have not yet been decided upon, but we are taking suggestions.

Nah... Debbie is the leader of a gang of cheerleaders, they go to Dallas, TX and fuck everything that moves.

Also, the remake/sequel sucks.

I'm not so sure that they can if they wanted to. Since their service is a subscription service, I would think that intentionally degrading their own service to make a point might violate their duty to their customers. I would 100% support them being on board, but I doubt that they could do it.

Drugs and porn. That's the America i dream of.

Our whole lives behind us

That's just how the pound their message home

And Microsoft, Amazon, Apple.... because you know...the Cloud.

The only limit is yourself.

And /sub/nofap

How can I contact the author of this bot? I love it and I'd like to see how it ticks.

You dont want to know.

I have lost the ability to can

Thats how I imagine Political Science majors having sex.

Are you able to open doors?

Time to schedule a date night.

"Buffering 8%..."

PENIS AND VAGINA.

That's what I hope every member of Congress says.

the BD vs HD-DVD is categorically false. The porn industry picked HD-DVD. BD won because of the PlayStation 3 period.

Hi guys. I might consider a return as well for the cause.

Get laid or ...forget what I was doing and go play shuffleboard get laid break hip have heart attack while getting laid.

Ah yes Fapture, where the first Biocock took place

Riiiiiing, Riiiiiiiiing, Riiiiiiiiing

"Whitehouse switchboard, how may I direct your call"

"Uh yes, I was on this here Youporn lookin' at the titties, and they're telling me my connection is slow because of you guys".

I just noticed your username.. omg.

I'm pretty sure middle class people with money and jobs watch porn.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that it just counts the number of syllables in a given comment, and...

if (numsyl == 17) { system.out.println("< first five syllables /n next seven syllables /n last five syllables>") }

Something like that. Let's try!

edit: For everyone asking how it counts the number of syllables, it was Frank Liang's PhD thesis 30-some years ago. Here's the free javascript version: http://www.mnn.ch/hyph/hyphenation2.html (link near the bottom of the page).

Note that Liang's paper actually discusses hyphenation, but you can use that to extract the number of syllables. Aside from that, I'm sure there's at least one database out there (what does Dictionary.com or Google use?) that can be accessed if you are all so inclined. Personally I'm not on a quest to reverse-engineer this bot, but I do think it's fun to play with.

Especially google. Would make a difference if they would code the results to appear one after another, so it would take like 2 seconds to "load" the entire page.

That, if what, would take a message to a large audience...