Pack your bags... oh wait.

Pack your bags... oh wait.

An email to Bill O'Reilly:

Here are your messages:

"You have thirty minutes to collect your shit."

"You have ten minutes."

"Your shit has been trashed."

"Your shit has been crushed into a cube."

"You have thirty minutes to move your cube."

He knew he was gonna get dropped after all his sponsors dipped, his "vacation" was the "politically correct" way of dropping his ass before actually telling him to gtfo.

phone rings

Is it about the cube?

"Your cube has accumulated some penalty fees..."

RIP Sexual Harassment at Fox; we barely knew about it you

Hold on Bill isn't poor you don't get fined like that if you're rich.

The email Bill really got

Dear Bill,

Our sponsors demand that you be fired. We are so sorry here is 100 million to smooth it over.

Love

Everyone at Fox news you didn't rape.

How you gon be mad on vacation?

Dutty wining 'round all these Jamaicans

Uh, this that prom shit

This that I-got-fired-from-Fox don't tell your conservative mom shit

This - happens to plenty of execs in corporate America.

Or they """"resign""""

And William, do try not to sexually harass anyone while you're collecting your dildos and confederate flags.

It's probably the first thing America wants tho

Don't worry I am sure Hannity will fix it.

Dear Bill,

u dun goofd up.

Fuck it, he'll do it live

No it isn't. Employers must pay for pto not used. A person getting laid off would likely need the extra money.

🌊🌊🌊

Plus that way you don't have to worry about firing him in the building and having him react badly. Last thing Fox wants from this is footage of security having to forcefully remove Bill from the premises.

Fur real; has anyone even tried calling Hannity?

"BYE MR. OREILLY" -Luda probably

Real reason? Because Fox was losing a shit load of money because companies were pulling their advertisments.

Also real reason? He is the biggest piece of shit on TV and needed to go.

Dear Bill

You goofy dog

signed -Sean Spicer

Bye billicia.

Do it for the ratings

My company actually let a employee use all their PTO time before they let them go.

B-b-b-bound to file a suiiiiiiiit

He's always been a piece of shit and one of the biggest on TV. The sexual harassment causing advertisers to back out is definitely the big thing. Money talks, bullshit walks.

The minute someone makes a comment like this I just assume the person they are talking about is going to have a child porn scandal.

It wasn't vacation. It was vacation as in "Get the fuck out of here for two weeks while we figure it this all out."

What you doin' in the court on a Thursday? It's not okay that you "just wanted foreplay" She order champagne you slip the GHB Rock the restraining order but you still thirstay I know you got a sad! reputation Walking-round-always-cat call reputation Leave-a-pretty-girl-grabbed reputation Start a Fight Club, Chris Brown reputation

He wanna fuck you hard on the sink After that, give you somethin' to drink ;) Step back, turn the Jesus figurine around I mean damn, what would conservative grand mommy mommy mom think? Hey, you remember where we first met? Okay, you don't remember where we first met But hey, admittin' is the first step And hey, you know ain't nobody perfect

I know you're tired of harrassin', harrassin', With nobody to love, nobody, nobody So just grab some pussy, no leavin' this party With nobody to grab, nobody, nobody (Uh-huh, honey)

these guys did

37! Bill collected 37 dildos!!

37!

37! ≈ 1.38 * 1043

/sub/unexpectedfactorial

I'm not amazing, and I didn't know this..

It's not just saying stupid shit, he knowly misled millions of Americans into believing a narrative that isn't true. To the detriment of the country.

Could you do that? Could you really take responsibility for that kind of misery and unrest for money?

If so, Fox news has an opening. How much is your soul worth?

HE'LL DO IT LIVE

You've got to be one stupid motherfucker to get fired on your day off

Yup. Amazing people don't know this.

You silly goose

Jerked off his dad on the air.

You didn't miss much. It's easily the worst thing in the MCU. Which is very shocking

I am the iron fist, master of mind and body.

FUCK YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT MY DAD LIKE THAT!

I wanna fuck you hard on the sink

And after that pay you millions of dollars not to sue me for sexual harassment

The articles actually say he has a "multimillion" contract signed for future work, and the last time Fox fired someone with a similar arrangement, they just paid the whole 20 million that were in the contract.

Fuck bill but he's still worth 85 fucking million dollars. He can sexually harass and pay off in to the sunset with that type of bread.

wait it took them over 10 years to find him unchristianlike? that can't be real.

Id love to make 85 million to say dumb shit on live tv, where the hell was that on career day?

As much as I think Hannity is a really POS, he doesn't have controversies outside the political talk sphere. Family man getting paid millions to spew shit for ignorant masses, I'd do the same.

https://youtu.be/V2B1uIkQUZ4

I was just thinking the same thing and it's driving me nuts.

Edit:

DO IT LIVE!

They're still getting paid for it, they get the same amount either way, it's PTO, the P stands for paid

wavy

That is a… Specific assumption.

Conservative news watchers could no longer tolerate his unchristianlike behind the scenes grab-em-by-the-pussy antics with female coworkers.

" Kiss the plaintiff and the wifey"

Don't be silly. You can't just be willing to sell your soul. You have to be really fucking good at it, too. And he is. Bill was the mold they built that network on. Have I been saying for a decade that he's a huge worthless pile of shit? Absolutely.

But it's not like any old jackass can do what he did. Telling people otherwise is how you get Tomi Lahren or however you spell her stupid name.

We know, Bill. We're talking about you right now.

Got it. Well, I'm glad I only watched one episode (and didn't like it) since that kinda sounds like a spoiler.

Basically this

Rich people get thank you letters and severance packages when they're fired

I have never wanted anything more

Woah...why was he fired?

What's in the cube?

Knowing I don't have a job to go home to would make me sweat, but it's Bill O'Rielly, so fuck it. He deserves it.

Trix are for kids

It recently came out that five sexual harassment suits against O Reilly had been settled out of court and this lead to advertisers to pull their ads from his show / fox.

They have him on tape grabbing boxes.

He'll also probably make ends meet even without a job.

Hey president Trump, I thought Billo did nothing wrong, how come he is getting fired? So unfair...

They HAVE to pay him crazy money if they terminate his contract early.

He has a contract so nah he agreed to this and he probably got millions in the buyout. He wouldn't freakout

Truth ain't pretty.

I think it's, "you owe ten thousand dollars, it's your problem, but if you owe ten million dollars, it's their problem."

In a row?

🤔😗🤔

wait why were ad companies pulling because of him?

Or, "I know we're supposed to be fighting to the death and you keep poisoning me but the power of my boner is stronger."

"since he's at home let him enjoy it a little more"

"Told you I had dirt on you doggy!" -Cam'Ron prolly

85 million dollars can buy many loofahs!

well if you just work until you're fired, you get paid for all your work time plus a sum for unused PTO.

if you take PTO for your last two weeks or whatever, you just grt paid for that time. significantly less money unless you start working another job during your PTO. basically do you want to get paid twice for your time or not?

It's virtually impossible when ranking Simpsons episodes but "Homer the Smithers" is pretty high up there.

It's virtually impossible when ranking Simpsons episodes but "Homer the Smithers" is

Hannity's wife wouldn't even bother to call him.

Unless he was stealing boxes.

ok dis hard

That's actually really classy of them.

Is this from the Simpsons? It sounds so familiar.

What's this from?

Edit:simpsons

https://i.imgur.com/EhbW8Ns.png

Not all companies do that. Some companies have a use it or lose it policy. Intel for instance does it. But it's seen as a perk... like... "we dont track PTO, its under the honor system, get your work done and you can take basically as much time off as you want".

His viewers were fine with it, it was the advertisers that didn't want to be associated with him.

/sub/surrealmemes

You tryin to build a clubhouse?

Pretty disappointed the answer isn't here yet. Reddit has taught me the answer is always in the comments hours before I get there. Don't let me down.

... is worth a fraction of what Bill O'dickface is.

So like... 2 old dudes???

That shit happened to me, it was a good day, one day off turned into a month off.

That's what his bitch ass get

LOL that saying got butchered to hell and back. At least you are correct in what it is trying to convey.

And the bank being who you owe is meaningless anyways. At least that is what I think the original saying to be.

-you owe the bank ten thousand dollars, it's your problem, but if you owe the bank ten million dollars, it's their problem

he knowly misled millions of Americans into believing a narrative that isn't true. To the detriment of the country.

Multiple times, about multiple issues, on a daily-weekly-yearly basis.

....by sexually harassing every living breathing thing in sight...probably. Just a guess, I'm no expert.

He'll find another job quick enough. Plenty of people still love him and either don't care about or don't believe the allegations against him. Regardless, a large portion of his income is in his books. His talk show was a way to advertise the books and bring in extra income.

Perhaps the Reddit Gods sensed you were coming early, and withheld their knowledge from us all as punishment. You've doomed all of us to a life of unanswered questions and too much apathy to look them up. all you had to do was wait a few hours dammit!

You still get paid for it though...? Like basically they are saying "hey you're fired but we'll pay you until your pro runs out rather than paying you a lump sum"

Bill is a complete moron, terrible at everything.

*complete

*terrible

Garners goodwill and softens the termination slightly making them less likely to be an asshole and/or a disgruntled employee when times up. long run it cuts your monetary and public image costs considerably.