Nailed it

Nailed it

"GET YOUR T-SHIRTS HERE, 3 FOR 10 GOLD COINS"

She's getting the side-eye from Jesus. I love it.

You laugh at him now, but everyone will be buying them up after the crucifixion once they see how much they charge for "authentic" merch

"Oh, really! I'm about to die for your sins and your first instinct is to go and print a bunch of T-shirts?! How did you even do that in such a short amount of time, let alone at all!? I'm not even sure we have printing technology yet!"

/sub/dankchristianmemes

St. Veronica wiped Jesus' face with a cloth and an impression of his face was left on it.

prices gonna raise in 3 days

was Jesus wearing a full face of MAC

Love to see the Jesus hoodie relic in some giant cathedral

Can anyone explain what the context actually is with the cloth/face she has?

That's a bad breakup right there. Took that old photo only she had of him and made it into a gimmick while he's paying for the sins of mankind.

Honestly thought I was already there

For anyone wondering, that's St. Veronica! And the reason why there's Jesus' face imprint on the veil is because she was so moved with pity when she saw him carrying the weight of the heavy cross that she went forward to offer her veil so he could wipe the sweat of his face. Jesus was touched by the gesture, he accepted the offering, held it to his face and left an impression of his face on the veil and then handed it back to her! :-)

Get your Jesus T-Shirts and "Where's your God now?" Hoodies at the INRI merch store today!

And bad hair dye.

The Hoodie of Turin

Just use advanced options mod on Civ V and get yourself 50 free techs.

Sell sell sell!

ALIENS

I liked the merch story better.

Actually that was Veronica. She just met him and snapped a literal selfie with his face.

Jesus looking at her like "really bitch, I ain't even dead yet..."

Must be a hella wipe because his hair came with it lmao

Not exactly. It's a famous icon. A woman wiped his face with the cloth and it left his image on it.

Close to the shroud of Turin, but not quite.

what is this? /sub/memeeconomy

More like “1 for 30 pieces of silver”

she threw it in the wash by accident and it came out all smeared https://imgur.com/a/iQLIM

Jesus has a facial expression stating, "No heaven for you."

Merchant's expression is, "Okay...made a buck."

First Judas, now this...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Veronica

Source: @JamColley

and then it sold for $20,000 on eBay

+10 dark magic resistance

It is I uploaded it before this

Shout out to the hustler who cross posts this meme to....

yes

https://i.imgur.com/Dihwr2h.gif

Love this because hustling is what ancient Jerusalem was all about. Half the churches in Europe have/had some bullshit where they thought they got the fragment of the True Cross, or Jesus's fingernail clippings, or a thorn from the Crown of Thorns, and it was just carnie-level hustlers in Jerusalem selling this bullshit to pilgrims who then dragged it back to France/Germany/England/Scotland/Ireland/Spain.

Then the hustle started over again as the churches/cathedrals used the fake relics to get more pilgrims to come.

She wiped his face with her veil(?) and his image stayed

10 gold coins? Goddamn, that's expensive! How about a give you a fistful of myrrh and you let me sniff Jesus' underarm?

Best title of all time.

Title game 10/10

That would be a ripoff. Jesus himself is barely worth that much.

Yes

Three fiddy

All I can think of now is Forrest Gump wiping his muddy face on that guy's T-shirt while on his cross country run, and leaving that popular 80s/90s smiley face imprinted on it.

Oh actually you might be right! I think I’m getting those two moments mixed up.

Edit: just googled it, St. Veronica wiped Jesus’ face with her veil. Shroud of Turin happened after with the whole burial ordeal.

"I visited the crucifixion and all I got was this lousy piece of cloth"

One schmeckle.

It's rare, but it happens. The oldest known garment is the Tarkhan Dress, which is about 5,000 years old.

HODL

Would any cloth survive 2,000 years? I'd imagine anything short of leather would have a tough time surviving even a few centuries, let alone thousands of years. Even leather degrades to the point of being unrecognizable after that long.

I feel like the should be a word for a selfie of other people and not including yourself... I think it's called a youie.

You missed the grilled cheese guy selling 1 for $3, 2 for $5

It’s almost like it’s a reference to some popular religion or something.

yeah in the shade blood sweat and tears.

*Her, that's Saint Veronica with the mean street hustle

Exactly.

You should see how much they were charging for popcorn.

I was whipping at bitches and flipping tables covered in money, you know where you're going.

"My father will hear about this!"

You can’t hate the hustle

They still go for a buck on shakedown street.

This here conversation is the equivalent of people bumping into eachother, then trying sheepishly to go around from the same side. Also somehow I imagine both of you in bowler hats.

HODOR

Frankincense always sounded like it was a joke, like some shit Frankenstein would get to make his house smell good.

Like Forrest Gump?

Thus the "shroud"

"Just wait till I tell my Dad you bitch."

“I am the way and the truth and the life, bitch”

If it's 3 for 10, how much for one? 🤔

That was my reference, but because I tried to keep it short I left it too vague. It's an all around failure at humor.

Now that would be a nice relic. After the shroud of Turin was disproved, I kinda lost my ability to suspend my disbelief regarding them.

Just like Forrest.

You just don't know it yet.

"Shrouds here. Getcher shrouds. One shroud per messiah NO EXCEPTIONS"

St. Ronnie has a good side hustle.

Two weeks after dying my hair with that crap and it was still coming out on my hands. When it was dry.

"You know, I'm not even mad... that's just impressive."

Parks and rec had an episode where a character asked an attractive female of he could take a selfie of her and said it was a new thing he invented called a youie.

Doesn't matter, got paid.

Unlike Jesus, the hustle never sleeps

That's pretty sad since a cheeto sold for almost 5 times that

Someone bought Donald Trump? Whaaaaa?!!!

She's not hustling though, that's Victoria I think her name is who cleaned Jesus' face and it appeared in her cloth

Shroud of Turin

The Shroud of Turin or Turin Shroud (Italian: Sindone di Torino, Sacra Sindone [ˈsaːkra ˈsindone] or Santa Sindone) is a length of linen cloth bearing the image of a man who is alleged to be Jesus of Nazareth. The cloth itself is believed by some to be the burial shroud he was wrapped in when he was buried after crucifixion although three radiocarbon dating tests in 1988 dated a sample of the cloth to the Middle Ages. The shroud is kept in the royal chapel of the Cathedral of Saint John the Baptist in Turin, northern Italy. The Catholic Church has neither formally endorsed nor rejected the shroud, but in 1958 Pope Pius XII approved of the image in association with the devotion to the Holy Face of Jesus.

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Probably Splat

Worst dye ever.

No worries! It is pretty similar, but I love the story of St. Veronica. :)

In fairness, the day isn't going well for Him.

Sounds like something a hustler would say.

Link to Tweet: https://twitter.com/JamColley/status/937781666499776517

Username was vladdyboyputeenator247

Jesus looks so disappointed, not sure if it's at the guy or the way his face looks on those shitty t-shirts.

The story of Saint Veronica is not in the Bible.

No. /sub/litecoin

Smack "supreme" on it and the price increases ten fold.

Also, the reason that his face was so dirty? It was freaking covered in blood. Jesus's crucifixion was brutal.

Greasy hippie