me irl

me irl

In a relationship in the first place?


no crying



If there is any attempt to cheat, especially with my wife, who is a dirty dirty tramp.... I am just going to snap. #AtTheColiseum

I'm sorry dad

It costs 100 dollers

How much money did you pay for that?

I'm Sorry.

From: Me

To: T.Hanks

How has no one addressed the Demetri Martin reference here..o.O

Follow him around and threaten his family until he tells you jokes

oh damn what's the ref?

i think its from his netflix special, about breaking up on a Megatron. On the subject, how do i get more of him? One of my favorite comedians, but only 1 thing on Netflix :(

About $3.50

Fuck the A's

I mean me too thanks

I guess she didn't want to crack a cold one with the boys :/

The funny part is that he said "me too thanks"

Did you say doll hairs?

I love haikus

This is extra funny since Tom Hanks famously said "there's no crying in baseball" in the 1992 movie A League of Their Own. That movie (also starring Rosie O'Donnell, Madonna, and Gena Davis) is also famous for the longest on camera pee.