LPT: When drinking with your boss or manager, always stay at least one drink behind them.
Unless they are raging alcoholics, then you do you.
Right. Because him on his 9th and me on my 8th is really going to stop me from telling him that I could do his job better.
Fuck that, stay 2 drinks ahead and show them who's REALLY the boss.
I once went to my wife's holiday party when she was working at a bank and she was worried I was going to get too drunk and embarrass her. She was a teller at the time so we were mingling with her group of teller friends when I decided to wander. I'm a wandering drunk and assume I'm welcome anywhere. Somehow I ended up chatting up the bank president and some vps. Long, fuzzy story short, we ended up taking a keg and several bottles of alcohol from the party and drinking on my front porch with my wife's employers til about 6 a.m. I'm not saying I was responsible for her preferential treatment during the rest of her tenure but I wouldn't rule it out.
I got 100% of drinks ahead of my boss. Even blacked out at a work outing. The next day I found out that I (and two colleages) said he was intimidating.
Since then he's completely changed his demeanor, starts meeting newer hires earlier, talking about family, hobbies, etc to help break the ice.
Gotta say it was a good change.
Finish yours real quick. Then drink his while looking him in the eyes. Aggressively tell him you're the boss now
My boss said we’re all going out tomorrow and I’m a little scared of drinking at all, lest I say what I think.
ETA: I’m well aware of how to fake drinks, or drink less. It’s a 5 person team thing, and will only be an hour or so, so I’ll just have a beer, and hopefully not a TIFU post about being a complete and utter lightweight.
Do liquor on the rocks. Sip it slow. You’ll look like a connoisseur, not a lightweight. Beers, people count. Same for mixed drinks, somewhat. But anyone who orders straight liquor is respected no matter the count.
Lpt: always buy your boss or manager a drink so not only do you look good but you assure they stay 1 or more drinks ahead of you
"Look at me: I'm the alcoholic now"
i went to a job interview. One of the questions were about alcohol and how much I drink. I told them that I stay away from alcohol because it just isn't my thing... I didn't get the job. Apparently out-drinking clients is a good thing in the Chinese culture, sort of a manly thing.
I've worked a few places that would totally not function if it weren't for meetings at Conference Room B.
Also, the smoke break crew. You can cut 13 layers of red tape and travel through a wormhole in the bureaucracy if the right people are in the same smoking crew.
Finished up my 40 hours at like 10 am friday, but since I carpool with a friend (u/nestrebla1 , he works 8-5) I was hanging around. I don't really mind, get to log some PUBG hours.
Anyway, 1pm rolls around and I get invited to drink at a bar a block away with a bunch of coworkers, including my boss(ish, supervisor at the least). As the newer guy, i jumped on the opportunity.
3 IPAs, 8 pumpkin beers, and 3 shots later it's 5 and I walk back to the office to drive home with my friend (he's driving). I crossed the street between the bar and the office, slipped on some mud in the road (was wearing flipflops), ate shit, and sat there for a bit in the middle of the road contemplating what the hell had just happened, cars honking at me yelling to get out of the road.
Stumbled back to the office covered in mud, missing half a sock from it being torn apart in the road, and drunkenly greeted half the support team including the head of the department. They were understanding, parties happen and they tend to get carried away, but I've been getting jokes thrown at me all week about it.
I did break a beer glass at the bar by drunkenly knocking it off the table, but all in all it could have gone worse. Probably won't stop getting shit about it for a looooong time.
Ninja edit: yes I wear socks with flops, fite me
LOL not applicable everywhere though. I live in Korea and it's extremely rude to not keep up with your boss. "No" is not an option.
Edit: you are able to make an excuse in order to not drink though. It's not like they'll force it down your throat. Stomachache is a good one, followed by taking antibiotics. In normal circumstances however it's considered rude to not keep up and to let your boss drink alone.
This would have been great advice to have had last Friday.
I'm 165 pounds, my boss(ex boss) is almost 300. I was about 3 drinks behind when I made the comment of his attractive daughter.
He’s 10 drinks ahead of me and I haven’t even figured out what game he’s playing yet
You were wearing socks with flip flops? That’s way worse.
Pound heavy liquor. Got it!
If that's true, I'd become the fucking CEO in a matter of weeks.
Makes sense-- Stone Dogs can't run, so must drink.
Please realize that Chinese people drink straight cups of a liqueur called baijiu白酒 often 65 to 75% alcohol by volume. It has no redeeming taste qualities and in my experience produces utterly hellish hangovers. It's served room temperature, and you drink the whole cup like a shot except the cup is the size of two to three shots. You do not choose when you drink you must toast with everyone, a failure to do this is considered rude.
Of that sounds like your cup of tea, I highly recommend picking up a bottle from a package store, it usually comes in a case like ornate jug.
I have friends that can really throw down when it comes to drinking. I can't. Long ago, I learned the subtle art of looking like you are drinking more than you actually are. My liver thanks me.
Please realize that
I don't have time for realizations! I'm an important CEO!
Am part of smoking crew can confirm and extra breaks, red tape flying everywhere.
I don't agree with this advice. When I'm nervous I drink whatever's in my hand more quickly. Go for a low alcohol beer if you can. It's hard to get drunk on that.
I'd like to add, at a lunch, never order messier to eat food than them.
And slam them and call everybody pussies for not keeping up. You'll be the office hero.
I hate this kid and hope he gets fired. Once I got to that point in the story, the only thing I could think of was his socks...
Fuck no, drink those cunts under the table.
Don’t forget to piss on everything to establish territorial dominance.
You sip, but don't open your mouth, just wet your lips.
Looks Extra real if you start pouring on yourself to make it look like you are drunk and not get questions about why your glass is still full
Oh you're having a wrap? I'll be having ribs, and not with any of that weakass dry rub either.
Wait... 14 drinks in 4 hours? I am impressed you even got back across the street.....
If you worked in the white house that comment would’ve gotten you a promotion.
My fiance is about 110 lbs soaking wet. Her digestive system is what scientists refer to as "the singularity". She went to eat with her female boss and coworkers and they ordered salads while she crushed a massive plate of polish sausage and sauerkraut. Passive aggressive comments were made.
When I drink with my boss he buys all the drinks. We both know how much more than me he makes.
Was labourer type. Went to Xmas function with boss. He says to me "great! Go and get me a beer".. so I politely informed him that when you're in a bar, your boss is just another asshole begging for a fat lip.
Actually went down really well, we all had a laugh and he got his own beer.
Think I'll be having two chickens
Always if you can be cool.
I can't even drink 14 glasses of water in 4 hours
Same, holy shit I’m seething. I want to be his boss and fire him. I’m so hopped up right now I just want to fight his socks with flip flop wearing ass. Also WHO THE FUCK WEARS FLIP FLOPS TO WORK IN THE FIRST PLACE. Especially when they’re new at the job. I’m so angry right now!
Telling someone that you're drinking a dirty shirley isn't going to get you any respect.
I order Tonic with lime, looks like an alcoholic drink. Stay a polite amount of time and leave.
Currently sitting in a bar waiting for my boss to get here. I am 2 drinks a head at this point. It's a good thing im 27 and he is 67.
Honestly none of my bosses have been heavy drinkers so being a drink or two ahead of them was still pretty much at the same level and a FUCKING POWER MOVE KID.
I've never been promoted but never been fired either.
Yes this spills the beer.
Oh god Baijiu. Lived in Beijing for a year in High School and you could get a 750ml bottle of that stuff for ~$2. Tastes like gasoline at quality - doesn't get a whole lot better even if it's $200 in my experience
EDIT: The worst about that 'shot' experience in my opinion is that it wasn't always taken as a shot, but rather a sip. A shot at least gets it out of the way
This largely depends on your tolerance level.
Is puking immediately after drinking also considered rude, or is it like an 'A for effort!' type of thing?
However, as a former investment banker and political operative, I disagree slightly. I can only speak to my own experience, so please discount appropriately.
My drinking-with-the-boss experience is extensive, and I have found that bosses I've had typically drink with their employees to have fun and to gain information. The former is largely a function of alcohol for them as regular endorphin release is necessarily inhibited by the trade-offs they've internally agreed to in order to manage. The latter is a function of their lack of intimacy with their direct reports – they don't know what you know, and often their flow of information is intentionally controlled by you and your peers.
So, to me, the answer is to get as drunk as them and maybe more. Their willingness to intoxicate will guide your journey. A good bellwether is the point of re-order – always let them go first and base your decision on what they do. Also always imagine them as a person who is just trying to have some fun, like you.
This strategy has paid dividends for me, but may not for you. Best of luck!
Well, he never should have asked what you're planning to do tomorrow..
You've never gone drinking with Asian bosses. Those guys will make sure you get wrecked. Even worse, my boss took me out with his family and his super intimidating father in law. Boss couldn't couldn't keep up with the father in law so he had me finishing his drinks to keep up. That was not pretty.
Order a soda with ice and a LIME, it'll look like a gin and tonic or a rum and coke. If it's a quiet setting just tell them you're tired and don't want to drink too much
But..then I get beer all over my shirt.
From an etiquette standpoint it's always perfectly acceptable to order a non-alcoholic beverage even if others in your party are ordering alcoholic ones.
Yeah, they can’t be hiring no bitch lol
To add to this, if you are the boss or the manager and you're out with the crew, have one and then get the hell out of dodge.
If I'm out drinking with my boss it's because he invited the whole team to reward us for making him a bunch of money, so yeah he can buy.
Tell me then, when does etiquette dictate when you should take drugs?
This is the real LPT! If possible, drink 2 to their 1. Assert dominance!
Yep, I went to China for a flag ship language study program in the summer and my buddy and I went to a convenience store and bought some bai jiu when I asked the clerk for 大酒-dajiu (I was trying to say big/hard alcohol). She showed me to this clear 750mL bottle and I was like ok great. My buddy and I had a bottle each and after drinking it I looked on the back and saw 65%. Blacked and woke up in my hotel room on the floor half way to the bathroom. Somehow didn't get sick but I never bought baijiu again lol
That would freak me out as well. I might have one and then just get club sodas after that.
Well... You can't lock up the drunkenness.
Oh God... If my boss asked me to go out to a bar with him I would just say no
Buy your boss a drink but you don't buy yourself one at the same time? Gonna make your boss feel like a dbag. At least that's how I'd feel. I'd never accept a drink from someone that's not going to drink one themselves.
Age ain’t nothin but a number.
I'm a big dude and if my party phase taught me anything it's that I can put the booze down, it was only a block so I figured I'd be alright.
Lessons were learned.
What if you work for yourself? If Im my own boss, how is this gonna play out, exactly?
There’s just been a lot of doozies this week with them, cherry on top’d by HR gleefully proclaiming my boss had hired an unrelated departments intern so I can move to my actual position full time. It’s a solid two months of training... and said intern doesn’t graduate/start til January.
Hope they like no effort at all from me for selling a major product line at all in the largest quarter of the year.
But i don't wanna drink alcohol with my boss or manager. I don't even like drinking. I don't wanna hang out with my boss or manager either. Nothing against them but i just wanna go home after work and relax.
then your gonna be black out drunk
This isn't Kansas City is it? I think I may be your boss.
I always like to stay one drink ahead of them. It shows I am capable of taking initiative.
I definitely read this in the voice of that pirate in Captain Phillips.
not as rude as not drinking
And people think you are a sloppy drunk which is just as bad as actually being a sloppy drunk.
Why lie about it? Fuck their peer pressure if they think you have to drink to have a socially good time.
That's rule #4!
Rule numero uno is never let no one know how much dough you hold.
In the long run you will be the only one left with a liver so it's not a bad thing to not work there. Source: am Chinese.
Between me and the CEO, there is 8 levels of management. So if they take 3 beers each, I'll have to stop at 23! Noted!
Honestly don't make a habit of stumbling in like that, but it won't hurt you in the long run. Someone pulls shit like that I'm likely to find it funny, until it's happening weekly.
Socks n flops..... total deal breaker. We're gonna have to see other people.
I knew a crafty individual in a high pressure job who amazed his bosses by slugging down vodka on the rocks, but never even getting tipsy, much less drunk. He bribed the bartender ahead of time to only serve him from a very pricey vodka bottle filled with water. On the downside, he hated pearl onions.
Who wants to tell him?
Anywhere not near your boss, unless your boss is a drug dealer...
The shots are what done you in. Next time nope out of the shots. Speaking from years of experience.
This. I drink my drinks sloooooow and drink a lot of water to space them out. Also if I can do it with no one being the wiser, I order a fancy VIRGIN drink. "What are you drinking?" "Strawberry Daiquiri!" No harm in omitting the word 'virgin' though :)
Tolerance, weight, setting, etc. It's a nice-sounding tip, but I honestly wonder how many people it really applies to, and how many people agree just because it sounds wise.
First time I went out drinking was with half of my shift and all of my bosses. They got fucked up much faster than I could've if I was trying.
I mean it's fun when you like who you work with, if not go sit with those you do like and don't worry about it.
I get soda water with lime and a little grenadine. Tell them it's a cherry vodka tonic or dirty Shirley. They ain't gotta know!!!!!
He was off work, so hopefully he had a change of clothes. If not he deserves to get hit by a car instead of honked.
Especially if your boss is a drug dealer! Rule #1: Don’t get high on your own supply!
Better get started then