LPT: In order to be a better conversationalist, don't ask yes/no questions. Instead, ask ones that require a more thoughtful, in-depth response.
Would you say it was your dad being an abusive alcoholic or your mom cheating on your dad with your ex boyfriend that made you pursue a career in the tabletop arts?
Who is your daddy and what does he do?
Spends more time thinking of deep questions to ask than actually listening to the conversation
Yes, I would.
I've always liked " tell me about your day" vs " how was your day". I always get a better answer than the normal "good" or whatever.
Edit- I normally use this with children after school. You can use this in more than one way like what did you enjoy about your day, what colors and shapes did you see?
Or simply put, ask open ended questions.
I don't know how to say "Tell me about your day" without sounding like I'm commanding someone to tell them how their day was.
There will always that person that will always respond with one word answers. No matter how intellectual your questions are.
They're called open-ended questions.
I swear the next tip will suggest I balance my checkbook.
What if like chairs could talk? Idk, man. Just like... I don't know. Crazy.
I'm detective John Kimble
This incorrectly assumes I want to talk to people longer.
I always ask them "How's it going? Tell me about your day." Then they ask why I want to know, then I say "So that we can fill this nigh endless void in our discourse with light small talk, I approached you for a distraction from the horrid existence we live in and you are failing. Entertain me puppet."
50/50 They start talking or they leave.
I'M A COP YOU IDIOT!
Spends all time panicking whether his/her hair is wrong, voice too trembling, desperately looking for validation in the eyes of the other person. Thus the various sounds emitted don't even reach the conscious part of his/her brain.
When eating cereal use a spoon instead of a fork
Very true. Sometimes there's no avoiding it. But I've found most people, if they know they have a willing audience, will happily talk about themselves.....most people at least.
IT'S NOT A TUMOR
if they talk they probably bitch about fat people
I am a tutor and I realized those questions don't really work well on first graders (English is not their native language)
me: How was your day? kid: Good me: Oh, anything fun happened in school? kid: No me:
me: Tell me about your day! kid: Good me: What was good about it? kid: I don't know me:
Just going to leave this here because it's one of the best lists of conversational questions out there. 36 Questions That Lead to Love.
Jokes on you; it's a cross examination and he can lead. Overruled.
Source: an expert in bird law
Walks up to stranger at a party, "How does what work?"
I'm one to believe people always enjoy socializing with close peers about things happening in their life. Or just people like to talk to another.
A fireman's purpose is to put out fires, but they probably still bitch about really bad ones.
Well, that's what I worry about too. When someone asks how my weekend is, I end up talking about stuff like how much of a dick my cat is. Then I realize I've been talking about myself for 20 minutes and I feel conceited.
me too thanks
If a chair's purpose is to be sat on wouldnt surviving a fat person be their version of success?
While staring at crotch
I used to work in a retail store, and in our training we went over the difference uses of open- and closed-ended questions. Essentially, open-ended questions are used to gather information, closed-ended questions are used to confirm information.
I still think about the training I did for that job, it was very helpful.
Uh huh honey
4 hours and no one replied to this guy yet.
I guess people take a hint...
The social skills LPTs always seem directed at people with zero aptitude for human interaction.
Should be called "Life Beginner Tips" instead.
How bout this weather?
Is that it, am I a master conversationalist now?
In order to be a better conversationalist, ask interesting questions rather than boring ones.
So, what do you like to do in your spare time?
How about some examples, you matser socialite.
Fuckballs, is that what the shiny hand-saucer dippy things are for?
They would probably be calling in food and ordering things like 1 person with extra phone.
Always is a big stretch. But they always have the option of saying "it was good" if they don't feel like expanding.
This is usually an indication they are not interested in talking at that moment.
As a variant of this, I like to ask for one thing rather than just "tell me about..." or "how was...". This is especially helpful when talking to kids.
Don't say: "How was gymnastics?" Say: "what was one thing you did at gymnastics today that you enjoyed."
Then, you could adjust that "one thing" for repeated scenarios. In other words, after next week's gymnastics class, don't ask the same question, ask "what was one thing you did today that was challenging?"
Edit: there are lots of comments here about being patronizing, etc., and I feel like I should explain. As a Dad of a three year old and a one year old, who admittedly doesn't talk at all why, when I read the first post, for whatever reason, I thought about taking to kids. In fact, I often hear people struggle with exactly this issue when talking to kids. How many times have you heard someone ask their own kid, "how was school today?" Or ask a nephew that they haven't seen in a little while, "how's school going?" only to get the inevitable "good." My point is to not only ask open ended questions but, if the child is likely to respond with a one word answer, make the question easier to think through by asking something specific. You can word it however you want. Any of these might work: How's school going? -Good. Do you like your classes? -yes? Now, you may realize that you should ask an open-ended question, but don't ask, "which classes do you like the most!" Instead simply switch it so that you are asking for one reply to make the response cognitively simpler for the child and therefore more likely that you'll get a real response: "what class do you like THE MOST?"
My point is that just that by wording it so that you're clearly looking for one response, you're more likely to get a real response from someone who tends to give one word responses. Then, you can follow up on that response for more conversation: "oh, Math? What do you like about math?" Now that they're talking about a thing that they've already expressed interest in, they're more likely to keep talking.
Also, kids sometimes struggle with "favorite." Asking "what is your favorite...?" Can feel paralyzing because it feels like such a hard and final choice choice. Instead, you could say "what's one class that you like?"
Funny....a classic conversation starter and a side-splitting joke.....I'm going to remember this....
So, you say cringey shit?
You can't overrule a judge, one more quip like that I'll have you held in contempt sir!
Do you fuck with the war?
Have to be situationally aware for those to work otherwise questions like that can quickly become patronizing
The thing is. If you both listen more than you talk there is going to be a lot of silence.
people with zero aptitude for human interaction
That question can fill hours and hours and hours of conversation..... nice....
Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina.
They used to force this down my throat in retail. "Yes and no never lead to a sale. Learn about them so you can suggest add-ons! If you can, pickpocket their wallet while they're talking and stuff the cash in the drawer before they notice."
Great tip! Always listen more than you talk. Also asking questions beginning with "why" tends to make people feel judged and they go on the defensive. I try to think of other ways to ask or weave into other topics we have in common.
For a moment I wondered what ping pong had to do with all that stuff. Then I realized that you were not talking about ping pong. Don't know why my brain stopped at "tabletop" and went straight to table tennis, but it made for a pretty funny image of Olympic ping pong players from all nations quietly crying somewhere about their parents' life choices.
'Nothing much, you?"
That doesn't sound like fun to me. It's like being on a job interview for a relationship.
Either I'm too old or these LPTs are just that basic.
telephone... no, rotary phone with cellphone on half
"HOO IZ YEH DADDEH AND WUT DUZ HE DEW. Haha, right guys? Member?"
"Jesus Christ M&M give it a rest."
How was your weekend?
HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO ASK A YES OR NO QUESTION!
Is he referring to strippers? I thought of DnD.
I will hold mySELF IN CONTEMPT OF THE COURT!
One of my favorites is: How does that work? Followed by another short question. It's almost impossible to answer with a yes or no, assuming the person wants to talk to you.
Too bad you're a bad listener
Questions such as "Why are you downvoting me?"
Bitch don't know Pangea.
Mini bowls with handles
I went on a date with a girl and she gave short answers that answered my questions and nothing more. I tried everything to get her to open up, and nothing worked. It felt like an interrogation almost.
Kicker was, she had been pursuing me. Ghosted me afterward.
A finn would respond with "sucks to be you. I'm here to get drunk. Not make idle chat"
What else was forced down your throat?
I think i'm getting the hang of this
because all the replies are one word answers: yes, no, good, bad, maybe.....LOL
ALTHOUGH, one time I think I got a "I drink milk" as a reply to "What did you eat for lunch?"
felt so proud.
Some fires are too big to tame..in this case a chair breaks
True. I'm passive. I don't like talking. I just like lurking on Reddit, even if it doesn't get me karma points.
But you're the one not replying! Phony
It's easier if you just listen to their answer and then base your next question off what they just said. Now they will know you as a great conversationalist and a great listener.
We use a bowl with a handle to eat out of a bowl 😮
What chu doin' in the club on a Thursday?
Always is a big stretch
This TedTalks is a good one on this subject:
"How does what work? It's a fuckin' paper clip, dude."
PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN!
or that they're socially inept to the point of browsing reddit for advice on how to hold a conversation and can't think of anything to say
Thanks for your insight, u/Dad_dicks.
"So your whole family has problems with alcohol. How does that work?"
Then turn around 360 degrees and walk away.
for real, fuck this subreddit... this is beyond common sense