Try a White Russian instead
The Dude abides.
I'm trying to picture what his hair would look like afterwards but I don't know how his hair works and i have no idea.
My guess: he has the common male baldness pattern on the top of his head. So, he's grown out what hair he has left and it sits on the top of his head like a cap. The hair on top of his head is actually long hair from the back of his head. If you hosed him down with a jet of water from the front it would be clear that he had the most intense mullet ever.
Sometimes someone will escape from /sub/incels and make their way here.
I think if you threw a perfectly good White Russian out The Dude would flip his shit.
Actually he had hair implants and the surgery was painful so he raped his wife Ivana who had recommended the surgeon to him
Hey, man... There's a beverage here.
Or a Moscow Mueller