Jeff Sessions says he’s ‘surprised’ Americans aren’t embracing his anti-marijuana stance

Jeff Sessions says he’s ‘surprised’ Americans aren’t embracing his anti-marijuana stance
Jeff Sessions says he’s ‘surprised’ Americans aren’t embracing his anti-marijuana stance

That's because you're stuck in the past buddy.

Most Americans don't have a 1972 view of reality.

It starts with the marijuana. Next thing you know they'll be listening to swing music and dancing with the colored folk.

-Jeff Sessions

"why dont people want us to profit from private prisonssssssss wahhhhhhh"

“I realize this may be an unfashionable belief in a time of growing tolerance of drug use, but too many lives are at stake to worry about being fashionable: I reject the idea that America will be a better place if marijuana is sold in every corner store,” Mr. Sessions said during an address in Richmond, Virginia, last month.

Its not unfashionable. Its medically obsolete. As well, both red and blue states have already seen positive results by modifying their approach. There is definitely still opposition to total legalization, but not a lot of support for possession continuing to be a criminal offense.

Americans are "surprised" Sessions can survive in a vacuum without a spacesuit. NASA promises to investigate.

Nearly any high schooler will tell you that it's easier to get their hands on weed than it is for them to buy liquor. When goods are exclusively available through the black market, the people who sell those goods are, by definition, criminals. Who do you think is going to exercise more professional caution when selling to teenagers--the licensed and regulated dispensary, or the person who faces the exact same penalties whether they're selling to a teenager or an adult?

It starts with the marijuana.

I believe that should be the marijuanas. People this out of touch always make things plural for no reason. Marijuanas, the internets, etc.

The faulty thinking here is the idea that the prohibition is actually preventing the sale of weed. It may not be sold at every grocery store, but it's still piss easy to acquire.

He's not that old to know how more than half of the country is in favor of it. He's either playing stupid or he's been living under a rock since 72.

He is being paid to take his stance.

"Good people people don't smoke marijuana." Jeff Sessions, Russian collaborator.

She was living in a single room with three other individuals

One of them was a male, and the other two

Well, the other two were females

God only knows what they were up to in there

And furthermore Susan I wouldn't be

The least bit surprised to learn that all four of them

Habitually smoked marijuana cigarettes

reefers

57 percent Americans favor legalizing marijuana

The man is completely delusional.

“I think medical marijuana has been hyped, maybe too much,” Mr. Sessions continued, at one point saying pot is “only slightly less awful” than heroin.

Republicans are only slightly less awful than Nazis.

Edit: and some of them are actual Nazis.

The blacks, the gays, etc

"And in other news, Sessions reports that he is confused so many students and young people are demanding an end to the War in Vietnam, which he claims is actually going quite well... At press time, Sessions was heard telling several reporters that he planned to introduce new laws criminalizing bell bottom pants, sex before marriage, and interracial dating..."

this guy is literally a cartoon character. 5'7 real life keebler elf.

Because there is more to be made from means other than warehousing people. It is also substantially more fiscally responsible to collect revenue and direct it to other more beneficial efforts.

"I think medical marijuana has been hyped, maybe too much," he told reporters after an event addressing violent crime in Richmond. "Dosages can be constructed in a way that might be beneficial, I acknowledge that, but if you smoke marijuana for example, where you have no idea how much THC you're getting, it's probably not a good way to administer a medicinal amount. So forgive me if I'm a bit dubious about that."

Please forgive Jeff Sessions for not believing in science.

Can confirm. In CO, our amount of DUIs have gone DOWN, since less people are drinking. We've had HUGE surpluses in taxes and it all goes to schools and other things in the state.

Craft Beer brewerys are actually saying the MJ business is hurting them, because so many less people are drinking.

Our crime rate dropped 10.1% in the first year and violent crime went down 5.1%. Thousands of jobs have been created.

The first year we saved 40mil alone just not arresting for many marijuana related offenses.

EDIT: Fix auto-correct on percentages.

And, shockingly, states that have legalized it for recreational use haven't descended into lawless anarchy. Quite the contrary, so far as I've heard the effects of legalization have been overwhelmingly good, and the more people see of that the more they'll come to realize that it wouldn't be so bad for their states either.

Its up to 60-something % now.

The first year we saved 40mil alone just not arresting for many marijuana related offenses.

No wonder the prison lobbies are dead set against legalization.

...and perjurer.

This is so true, especially where I went to school. Getting alcohol required knowing a 21 year old who gave a shit about buying you alcohol for not much profit or having obtained a good fake. On the other hand multiple friends of mine dealt weed so I could get it any day of the week any time.

The answer is always money. Prison industry has him in their back pocket.

He's also southern. People down south like to make things plural/possessive for no reason, especially store names.

Source: am from the south

Trump to be first president on the Moon; NASA denies plans to bring him back.

It's good to own land...

Where's that slave to fetch me another julep?

And white supremacist.

As an attorney, he's not familiar with such things as "evidence" and "expert testimony."

Jeff Sessions surprised white Americans allow Blacks to drink from their fountains.

I stole your joke.

Quite frankly, I don't see lots of benefit in people getting stoned, but live and let live, and it's absolutely fucking ridiculous to create a criminal counter-culture around something so mild as pot.

Actually what he means here is that he's surprised that WHITE Americans are not embracing his anti-weed stance.

The thing about (even representative) democracies is that they're supposed to be built on fashionable opinions (i.e. the will of the people).

Jug-eared shitweasel.

Do you know what the plural of cannabis is? Cannabisis. You see that at the end? That's ISIS. Cannabis is terrorism.

This guy is a fucking loser. These beliefs are far more than "unfashionable" at this point. They've been manufactured the entire fucking time, and the public has had a tumultuous view of the drug war since its inception. The difference is the longer you perpetuate a lie the easier it is to poke holes in it. It has been more than long enough at this point for it to not even exist outside of a passing joke anymore.

The pokemans

He said he was cool with the KKK until he found out they smoke weed. That is 100% true, gives an interesting insight into how this old, racist, xenophobic, bigoted troll looking mother fucker thinks.

This.

Just look at the guy's eyes. That old dog hasn't learned a new trick in a very long time.

I was just thinking of Sublime

am from the south

You're from the souths?

It's the opioid peddlers stance.

"“I realize this may be an unfashionable belief in a time of growing tolerance of drug use, but too many lives are at stake to worry about being fashionable: I reject the idea that America will be a better place if marijuana is sold in every corner store,” Mr. Sessions said during an address in Richmond, Virginia, last month.

“I think medical marijuana has been hyped, maybe too much,” Mr. Sessions continued, at one point saying pot is “only slightly less awful” than heroin.

Federal law is “not eviscerated because the state ceases to enforce it in that state,” Mr. Sessions said at the time.

Multiple bills have been filed in the House and Senate in the weeks since, aimed at reining in the federal government’s longstanding anti-marijuana stance.

Meanwhile, the Canadian government introduced legislation Thursday that would implement North America’s first federally approved system for legal marijuana."

Marijuana isnt being "tolerant" of drug use (you know, like Sessions is tolerant of unnecessary discriminatory hate)

When even the delorables complain, Don will take a different appoach, and order lil Jeff to do the same

They don't. They hate your freedom, not their own. That's why they keep doing everything they can to restrict yours and expand theirs.

Yep!

Less DUIs and less arrests for things that aren't even really crimes.

He didn't choose to be named Jefferson Beauregard Sessions the Third, but he's chosen to live down to every stereotype the name invokes.

I think their agreement and expansion on what you said went over your head.

Most attorneys are smart enough to not commit perjury also but welp.

Marihuanas

Federal law is “not eviscerated because the state ceases to enforce it in that state,” Mr. Sessions said at the time.

lol funny to see a conservative taking that position.

too many lives are at stake to worry about being fashionable

Somebody should ask Jeff Sessions how he feels about all the lives lost from legalizing tobacco

Disclaimer: I support legal marijuana and legal tobacco. I just think it's hypocritical to criminalize marijuana when tobacco is legal

THIS. He's trying to court the people who have never smoked, and only see weed being smoked by rappers on tv. Scary rappers.

Yep. The policy of planting your feet firmly in the ground while the rest of the world moves forward without you.

probably, im high.

negative side effect ;)

Isn't part of the whole legal deal that both amounts and percentages of types of active ingredient (CBD, THC) are listed on the package, and growers get every crop tested? The consumer knows exactly what they are getting and control the "dosage" accordingly.

It's not fake news it's satire. The /s shouldn't be necessary.

They have a lot of rocks in Alabama

Every time you smoke a joint, a terrorist gets his wings.

Live in Indiana, can confirm people are stupid here too.

Let's go to the Kroger's, we'll get some Cokes. Then we can go by Ford's and have 'em look at the truck.

Why does the republican party hate freedom so much?

Sometimes I wonder if we need an upper age limit for holding office.

"You got that right." - Mrs. Sessions probably.

All of 'em.

He did call Mexicans who cross the border filth

Technically he only wrote that in an official speech that will be documented in historical archives forever..... which is probably worse than just saying it.

Oh come on, Sessions doesn't give a damn about lives at stake. All he wants is keeping 1% of the american population behind bars, especially if it means many of them don't share his own skin color.

Even if he is personally against decriminalisation, surely as a supposedly educated and intelligent lawmaker and politician he should realise that this isn't a battle worth fighting, or if it is then it's already lost.

Never mind the whole "appealing to the majority of voters" when re-election comes around...

The ironic part is that the prohibition on marijuana increases the importation of the drug from Mexico which is run by strictly criminal organizations.

This is a guy who calls Mexicans filth but yet wants to keep one of their largest revenue streams functioning.

I turned it into a /sub/politicalhumor submission. It reached the front page of the sub.

i think the /s went over your head

You're old, get with the times gramps.

I think we should just drop any idea of 'conservatism' - the modern American right is authoritarian. I find it so sad that this has replaced legacies like this

Isn't that what ,"Conservatism" is?

what an ignorant fool.  Here is a medical marijuana label from 2013.  It clearly shows how much thc you can expect.
http://greenlifeexpress.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Blue-Dream-test-label-1.25.14.jpg

what an ignorant fool. Here is a medical marijuana label from 2013. It clearly shows how much thc you can expect.

Lmao I'm flattered

The sheeps, the deers, etc

"States rights, except when I decide they are wrong.@

But sticking them in boxes for years at a time, causing untold economic and societal damage in the long term, while charging the government to do so, is making us a lot of money now! Obviously nothing could possibly go wrong with this in the long term and we should keep doing it forever.

This is actually 100% the argument Trudeau is using to justify total national legalization in Canada. That because it's illegal, it's easy for teenagers to get, more easy than alcohol even. And it funds criminals who end using the money to help fund much worse things than selling weed. He has framed the whole argument about legalization as a way to limit its sale to minors and dry up a source of revenue for gangs. He never brings up people being free to get high if they want, or potential economic and tax benefits of moving the industry out of the shadows, it's a rather conservative "law and order" type of ask. It's very interesting to watch.

Because you can argue about if people should have freedom over what they put in their bodies, but no one opposed to marijuana is opposed to making it harder for teens to get marijuana or opposed to drying up a source of revenue for gangs.

Its not that hard we just went "bum tapping" or "hey mistering" always someone willing to buy kids some booze for some of their own or a few bucks.

"Pok'e'mons" -my father

I realize this may be an unfashionable belief in a time of growing tolerance of drug use, but too many lives are at stake to worry about being fashionable

Fantastic! Let's start with the rampant opioid epidemic killing tens of thousands of Americans every year! What's that? It would cut into the profits of Big Pharmacy? Better just throw all the harmless stoners into your private for-profit prisons then, I'm sure that would help.

Worth pointing out that the penalties are, in fact, harsher for selling to minors. Also harsher if you're within a certain distance of a school or church.

The difference being you're "going out of business" either way with the black market.

Many stuck in the past doesn't understand present times. Go figure. If you want to go in reverse, put a Republican in charge.

tell that to those with arthritis or insomnia ... damn have you ever even smoked pot? It is profoundly ignorant to knock something you have never tried. If you have, i'd say get yourself a better dealer.

Perhaps because a Nixon aid confirmed what everyone thought and admitted the whole thing was made up to target blacks and college students? Perhaps because it leads to the (blatantly unconstitutional as implemented) civil asset forfeiture? Perhaps because the government isn't truly fighting it (as evidenced by leaks where intelligence agencies and the DEA have been caught trafficking it).

And surely as a republican he'd realize it's appropriate to allow states to do their own thing, since it's not only popular opinion but state governments moving towards legalization.

And my axes

Weed bust are some of the easiest arrest police can make. It is likely the easiest to prosecute and get plea bargins for.

Russian collaborator American traitor.

FTFY

Porter Hall for the win. Now you're making me think of him stoned in bed with his goddamn garters. THANKS A LOT.

I'm sure he wouldn't like being called a Keebler elf... keep it up!

"Poke-e-mans" -my father

Is this Jeff Session's stance or is it the Russian's stance?

I love how these republicans are all about giving the rights back to the states, except for things they want to control, like marijuana​.

Good medical reasons - I buy that completely. And it's completely stupid that the paranoid prohibition even inhibits medical research!

It's the "just getting stoned" because it seems fun and artificially induces some sort of happiness - that's what I mildly disfavor.

It's just a personal choice that I wouldn't foist upon anybody, but if someone were to express an interest in my opinion and experience (yes, lots of pot experience many decades ago) I'd opine that messing around with one's brain chemistry is of questionable value. I'd recommend reading a book, making a study of an art or science, going to a concert, taking a walk in the forest - try that sort of stuff out to see the effect upon your brain.

We will just disagree about that.

It's not a matter of opinion. A lot of art, some of the best art humanity has ever produced, exists because of mind altering substances.

He's probably said it just not in public.

The entirety of the GOP and their voters have failed to join the rest of us in the 21st century. This is why they cling to Donald and make excuses. They are intellectually and spiritually unable to get with the times. They cannot adapt, they can only pine for a time that no longer exists and cannot be clawed back.

With the bunch of gold standard idiots that Trump keeps choosing, it's really hard to tell any more.

"Ban marijuana" brought to you by the less government party

Yes. We all decided to hold a surprise party for Jeff Sessions

"Welcome to the world, Jeff."

"Surprise."

im sure he also fantasizes about raping smurfs

GOP, like our Grandparents, Deeply out of touch with majority of America, water wet and not getting dryer. More at 11.

Especially if you go to school near enough countryside for farm kids to show up to high school.

Seriously. A few easy to get seeds and some easy work and a kid with some open land has spending money. It's a good draw.

"Pot is only slightly less awful than heroin"

Alrighty, calm down there Sessions. Do ya think he'd be able to point out which one was pot and which one was heroine if you gave him a couple of pictures?

I've heard he's claimed that quote was a joke. Yeah... Best case scenario on that, it was one of those "feeling out" jokes that are half serious, but he's ready to laugh in case it didn't land well with the crowd at the time.

unless you know, you like nickel back or tom clancy novels. Thats what society looks like without drugs

with drugs: jimi hendrix..

the beatles.

Lewis carrol

aldous huxley. check fucking mate