Why would you do that? Why would anyone do that?
Attractive people problems?
I never understood what trying harder entailed in these situations... I asked you out and you said no... that shit is done. Do you want a song and dance? Should I ask you out while yelling?
In a field of women who say "No means No" why on earth would anyone ask twice.
Dude dodged a bullet.
Because these days trying harder will get you slapped with a sexual harassment complaint.
Seems like more of an inexperienced teen problem. Call me presumptuous but I doubt the person in question has things like a barren field of fucks and menopause or erectile dysfunction on their immediate horizon.
Because he’s a decent dude who understands the meaning of “no” and doesn’t want to make girls uncomfortable after they express no interest in him.
No means NO.
We've learned to accept it; you should, too.
That's how my marriage ended. Wife said she wanted a divorce. I said "okay". Few months later she admits she didn't really mean it and just wanted to see me try harder and to win her back. By then I'd already move on and was much happier. She was not.
My wife's friend (24) broke up with her boyfriend and got angry because he wasn't pursuing her to get her back. I asked why she broke up with him if she wanted to stay with him, she said she was "testing him" to see if he really wanted to be with her. Made no sense to me at all.
This shit is infuriating. The line between "romantic and persistent and 'knows what he wants'" and "creepy and stalkery and won't take no for an answer" is fucking paper thin.
Playing these silly games in today's world will get you a cat and a solitary all-consuming hobby.
paper thin? that shit overlaps, yo
This also makes it worse for the girls that actually mean NO; some guys see stuff like this and get it in their heads that every girl that rejects them is just playing hard to get and that they should continue harassing them
Oh no. I showed my wife this and she looked at me dead serious and says "What, I don't get it"
Be attractive, problem solved
Absolutely. If she's going to give deliberately confusing responses about even starting a relationship, imagine how frustrating it must be to actually date her.
Steal a smurf penis.
I think you’re right. But still, if you want someone to ask you out and they do, don’t say no and expect them to do ask again/pursue you, that’s just ludicrous
You can’t have it both ways now. There is no “playing hard to get.” If a woman says no, it’s over. There is no room for nuance anymore.
Yeeeeep it can’t go both ways just when you want it to
play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Maybe he needed to mansplain it better
Don’t be unattractive
It's only creepy if they don't like you. It's romantic if they do. Mind reading may be necessary.
I had a similar situation except my husband was telling me that he wanted a divorce and I kept working harder and harder to be the person he needed.. well fast forward a few months and he said it again, so I stopped and said "actually, that's probably a smart idea" to which he replied "so you're just going to leave me!?!!?" So yeah, much happier now away from the head fucks.
BITCH I SAID GO OUT WITH ME
Nah, as long as you're rich and attractive that line is a mile wide.
Edit: wasn't trying to play "nice guy so I don't get girls" just saying it seems to be the average member of society tends to let rich and attractive get away with stuff someone poor or unattractive wouldn't be able to. And yes I agree personality plays a huge role in it.
Try becoming more attractive and then asking again.
1st rule of tinder
I'm a woman and I don't understand this shit.
Men are dammed if they persist and damned if they accept a no and move on.
Don't be silly. There will be far more than >A< cat.
Ruining it for all of us who actually mean no and do not want you to ask again
This is what guys should always do, girls like this don’t help in any way. If I guy starts to think no means yes, that’s when it can all go to crap
Time to "Step out for some cigarettes."
The line literally is represented by how attractive she finds you.
And that's really good. There's no room for "oh, I didn't understand".
"No means no", so let's move on now, this is over.
Did you explain it to her?
Update: He’s now standing outside my bedroom window at 3am each morning with a boombox, playing Peter Gabriel. My dad is pissed. I told him to stop but he keeps coming back. Why won’t he stop?
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
Although this strategy might work if she were the only female on the planet.
Playing hard to get used to be much more common and understood as a part of dating. It's not widely accepted anymore, but still lingers. https://www.wikihow.com/Play-Hard-to-Get
And that is when I knew how the finale would go...no one steals a smurf penis and doesn't end up with the person they stole the smurf penis for.
Edit: In order - Basil, Pesto, Truffles, Gnocchi
"That doesn't make me jealous, that makes you undesirable"
She probably wanted a grand gesture...
You know, like putting the question in the scoreboard at a sporting event. Or, putting her in a scavenger hunt.
Maybe, asking her to go skydiving, and asking her out on a date from 13,000 feet while free-falling.
Stay away from women like this. You’ll never keep them happy. Her expectations will always far exceed yours.
what's rule 2?
I had an ex girlfriend tell me I was wrong when I said it doesn't feel good when she used her teeth during a blowjob, because her magazine said it would. She actually got mad.
She also tried to give me a handjob with icyhot. I told her to warm up on herself first. Of course she got mad at me again.
She was a cunt.
I say no but I mean yes in a way it sounds no because it is a no since I'd like yes, but sorry it's a NO!
AND BRING ME A GOD DAMN STEAK
Haven't you watched movies? You're supposed to follow her around for a bit, then show up outside her house at 2am with a radio playing some weird obscure song that only she will get.
Maybe you should get her some pizza.
people who watch too many movies
I think that's how some teenagers feel. I'm the only X there is. Why do people not want me or the Y I can do.
Girls like this feed the mentality that when a girl says no she doesn't really mean it.
But she read Cosmo once and that's what they said to do.
You got a good point. Worth scrolling down
Yeah, that's basically how it went with me. I was constantly trying to figure out what to do to make it work and make her happy. By the time she said she wanted the divorce, I was burned out and welcomed the thought.
This shit is all over Cosmo. The "play hard to get" thing is what girls are told is good relationship strategy.
And then a situation happens like with Aziz Ansari where the girl does everything he wants but she's secretly not happy and he doesn't notice until she says she's not happy--and then she blames him for her unhappiness, when she wouldn't even speak up and say she wanted red wine instead of white.
I’ve had an ex who ‘tested our love’ by flirting with another guy. When I let her go ahead and I back out of the relationship she said “why didn’t you fight for me?”
Are you kidding me? If you don’t want to be with me I’m not going to force you to. If you wanna fuck Steve go right ahead, just don’t be so surprised when I’m long gone. Don’t test my love and desire to keep you because all it’s going to do is drive me away.
I've heard a theory that Cosmo puts out intentionally shitty advice to keep readers single and buying their magazine for more advice.
I was dating a girl in high school who made out with my friend. Her excuse was that she wanted to make me jealous.
Why do you get the teal cheesecake?
SAID PIZZA, NEXT!!!
There is no line, it is the same thing, only one is coming from an attractive guy, other is coming from a not attractive guy.
If this poor guy was your average high school student, it may have been a titanic effort for him to summon the courage to ask her.
Bruh, these days I'm not fucking around with the possibility someone is just playing "hard to get". Just ain't worth the risk. Plus, who has time for that shit anymore? I'm busy, damnit!
There is only one logical solution. Fake your death.
Don't play hard to get if you're hard to want.
no one steals a smurf penis and doesn’t end up with the person they stole the smurf penis for
I don’t know what in God’s name you all are talking about, but I want that stitched on a pillow right now.
Yodel your request to pursue her tender embrace.
Bitches love yodelling.
I learnt from that situation is that you can not fill the void within themselves. They can either be able to make themselves happy or unfortunately depend on you to make them happy. Then blame you for their sadness.
I'm glad you're happier now. We all deserve it
Rules number 1 and 2.
I'm not gonna rape you on the chance that you're into that."
A spinster was asked why she never married.
"I didn't realize the last time I was proposed to would be the last".
It's called a shittest. Why they do it is beyond me.
That and every romantic comedy in history.
Well, most of the time, no actually means no. Weirdos like this are few and far between.
blah blah ted steals a blah blah blah it was the beginning of a bla-
(am I feminism right)
I want my 90 seconds back.
Hmm, that really is a conundrum.
Have you tried being way more attractive?
Not just a grand gesture to impress her but a grand gesture to impress other people. She wants to be able to tell people how her boyfriend asked her out and how amazing it was.
Some women grow out of this behavior but you definitely don't want to be the sucker that gets tangled up in that mess.
This, a million times. That sub is 1000% infuriating, but bullshit like this woman setting up precedence of “no means try harder” is 10000% infuriating.
As a woman, I want to slap this woman for causing problems for others. The end.
Maybe this is why the /sub/niceguys guys have it in their head that all "no's" just mean "the gesture wasn't grand enough yet"
With money:-[, anything is possible.
There is a limit to how attractive one can be...
Can’t upvote this comment more!
Dumbass people problems
Blink twice if ur dead inside.
No, you have to manspread while you mansplain.
Is there a subreddit for stupid Quora questions?
"I was jealous while you were doing it, but now I'm single and have the relief sweats of a man who's just dodged a bullet."
Ahhh I see.
Happy birthday SpecialPastrami!