I think my wife is trying to tell me something.

I think my wife is trying to tell me something.

#4 is pretty fucking good when you think how many dads are out there though.

People who cheated to get the highest scores.

Yeah, but who are 1-3

My dad, your dad, and that one guy who you wish was your dad just a little bit

If Mario kart has taught me anything, it's that 4th place misses the podium.

Are you bobby moynihan?

Nick Offerman?

oh, I read the T-shirt as "Galaxy's Gayest Dad". What have you done to me internet :(

It's Father's Day. He can wear a hat inside with pajamas while eating cookies and sitting in a plastic pool while playing video games if he likes.

In the words of the late Hannah Montana "nobody's perfect you've got to work it again and again til you get it right"

Perhaps a better mug would be

WORLD'S #889110506 DAD

From my google searches, it looks like that's the middle dad (out of 1778221011 dads). The world's okayest dad.

Assumptions:

The world population is 7,500,000,000.

47% of all men are dads.

There are 101.8 men for every 100 women.

The goodness/badness of dads is linear, such that dad #37 is as much better than dad #38 as dad #14920 is than dad #14921.

EDIT: If you actually want the mug with the world's mathematically-okayest dad, I made it on zazzle.

https://www.zazzle.com/worlds_mathematically_okayest_dad_coffee_mug-168795025041001451

Thank you. Now I don't need to buy it.

My biggest complaint with Mario Kart 8 is no podium ceremony!

May she rest in peace but live on in our hearts.

Well, honestly its a compliment.

Think about how many dads are actually better dads.

There's a guy that runs marathons with his kid in a wheelchair, I mean, fuck, i couldn't top that.

My dream is to get a paternity test and find out Nick Offerman is my real Dad.

She thinks you're the "Galaxy's Okayest Dad," or G.O.D. for short.

Being the okayest is like the upper- middle class of Dad rankings.. That's a pretty solid ranking..

There's a dyslexic in every thread.

Am I the only one to notice OP wearing a hat while indoors in his PJ's?

Yeah, she's trying to tell you to clean the kitchen!

This man looks like my mental image of every person on reddit.

All the way back to Super Mario Kart, I've played and won them all. But we don't have a Switch yet. Of course I wanted to buy it. Play it. Win it all. But what is the point if I can't be up on the podium laughing at everyone below me?

But that would mean he's a deadbeat dad for ditching you, which would ruin your view of the world forever

Dad here. Now I know what I want to do today. Thank you.

I find this funny because I believe you are serious.

I like you.

I just came here to ask this question. OP please, we need answers!

His stepfather, father Christmas and her high school crush

David Hasselhoff?

47% of all men are dads.

That seems very high to me.

He's no drunk uncle!

I think I could be okay if Nick Offerman was the dad to walk out of my life. I would make peace knowing he was building me that crib that was always promised for me but was made for his second wife's kid instead.

You never know. Maybe she'll get back together with "I see dead people"'s sister.

If Nick Offerman walked out of your life it would be because your mother was too afraid to tell him she was carrying his seed. She knew Megan Mullally would strangle her for merely existing. You'd basically be a demi-god that must be slain as well. Most likely by Nick.

This guy probably does Star Trek marathons with his kid in a recliner

Reminds me of that writingprompts thread. Anything under 100'000 is really good

You haven't built your own podium for you and your friends to stand on when the race is done? Pfft, some fan.

EatMyDiction ??

47% of men in the 15-44 age bracket though. I suspect the number of 0-15 year old "men" without children is higher than the number of men who became fathers at 44+, which would bring the number down.

Gomez Addams, Uncle Phil and Dan Conner

Men don't babysit their own children, fuckstain. Stop perpetuating sexism.

Don't forget the fedora

You'd easily be number 3 if you cleaned up a little bit.

Could be Freudian.

Yondu Udonta?

God damn, the shit that gets upvoted in this sub...

I feel like this is exactly what a typical reddit member looks like.

1-3 are the mandlebaums mandlebaum! mandlebaum!

Matt Cullen?

Some basic carpentry would be nice. Maybe a sturdy 3-part bookshelf. Maybe make it funky so each shelf is a different height. Maybe make the middle one the tallest.

You don't need to run marathons in a wheelchair to be an impressive dad in America, all you have to do is not be a manbaby and genuinely try to be there for your kids and share the load running the house. The bar is set pathetically low.

If you don't ever cook, don't ever clean, don't ever grocery shop, don't ever do laundry, and just sort of babysit your kids once in a while...we'll congratulations you're average but you're also a major asshole.

If you man up a bit above that, you're above average and if you do all of those things, frequently, on top of whatever job or hobbies you have, then congrats you don't suck at being a dad or a husband.

I got no time to build, man! I'm too busy winning!

(I should really get up and do something...with my life.)

I have wasted the semi-godhood that he graced me with. I accept my sentence.