I always cum first in this dog-eat-dog world 😤

I always cum first in this dog-eat-dog world 😤

One time I met this chick off POF, went over and smashed, lasted about 4-5 minutes. She wanted me to stay the night, but I was already in my post nut Moment of Clarity. I said I needed to get my phone charger from my car and just sped away like Homer Simpson.

Nut too fast

"Damn girl, yo pussy that good, gimme a minute"

Foreplay until you're ready for round dos

The rest is up to y'all, don't be foolish like this nigga in the post and cut all ties to some innocent poontang.

Edit: I deserve this gold.

I hope you chirped your tires on the way out

She didn't know he nutted. He just gave up

They did a little, but mostly it was my loud exhaust that betrayed me. I drove a subaru at the time

How you nut fast and expect her to believe it was cause her pussy stinks?

So my technique is to as follows: basically I'll take em out for a few drinks before hand (this is crucial) not to get them drunk but so that I can say I have drank that night. I then start fucking then on the edge of my bed, lights off and when I'm about to buss nut quick I pull out 'by mistake' nut onto the floor, rub it in with my foot and then when they ask why my shit soft when I try put it back in I just say I've drunk too much alcohol and it doesn't work when I drink too much :/

All is forgive after a few chuckles and we go again for longer in, what she doesn't know is, round 2.

I'm finna burn any and all bridges to protect my nut-tegrity

How dare you call this forbidden jutsu "a joke"

Nah more like brrrrrrrrrrrrdddddd, pshh

Could be worse. I learned the hard way I had tight foreskin. I was going in hard for a hour until I realized shit ain't gonna work. So I pretended I nutted. There problem was this chick was a freak and we were doing it raw. So I payed for the after pill. I payed 53.48 to lose my virginity and I didn't even nut

Your reloaded in a few minutes? This guy uses Sleight of Hand.

this has to be a joke

First time I hit a girl raw I got in half a pump nice and slow. As that soft warmth of angel hands wrapped around my piece I pulled out and blew immediately. I had to improvise quick. I went down low and played with the kitty for a few minutes until I was ready to go again. Got her off, slapped it around a bit and threw on a condom and went to town. Moral of the story is: If you're ever in this situation dont run or quick. Distract her until you're good again.

VROOOOOOOM

Confidence and timing not his strong suit.

So many things when wrong here

Dont worry she didnt see you through your vape cloud.

Yeah that's great and all until you can't get it up. Whiskey-dick is probably way worse than nutting too fast.

Shit. You did the first time when you read and replied on my story

I only have a finite number of years on this earth, I'm really not going to waste them reading about the difficulties you've faced in cumming.

Protip: only smash when you're bent and never have this problem

Hol up, the whole time from when she first mentioned the after pill up to when u bought it, u didnt just tell her u aint nut to save $50?

I had a chick come over once when I was moving out of my apartment. Everything was packed up or already moved. There wasn't anything real valuable. So, I hit it there and then said, I would get some pizza and a movie. I went to my new place and slept very well. Everything was still in my old apartment, when I got back.

This is actually a good fucking strat yo. I have to try this.

That is unequivocally the correct way to phoneticize the unique sound of a boxer engine with unequal length exhaust headers.

Negative, the large YAKIMA ski rack can be seen from space.

☝️☝️☝️

Isn't that how Hitler rose to power? Lil nigga nutted too fast and he had to protect his nut-tegrity.

The classic sneak bust, works everytime

I don't get why guys get embarrassed for nutting fast. I personally take it as a compliment, and suggest we go again. I'm not gonna get offended by some guy cumming quick wtf

Fiskers don't make noise like that

Yeah that second part is the problem. Once you get past the first nut, your heart aint in it and you could give a fuck.

Idk if its my age (21) or my attraction to the women but I usually dont have much trouble. When I beat my meat its not like that though, but when its a fine lil lady i'm into it takes 5 minutes at most while playing with her.

you don't fuck over people helping you move, that's just dick homie

what

Because then this fake story doesn't have a good ending.

Damn. I don't know if I should be super impressed with you, or really disappointed in myself.

You left a stranger in a house with all your belongings while you ditched them to go to your new house

Genius tactic mate

Read my post history.

Here is me saying I couldn't cum 2 years ago

https://www.reddit.com/sub/sex/comments/36g86o/got_circumcised_three_weeks_ago_and_the_one_thing/...

I kinda feel like I wished I never revealed this information now. This shit spread scary fast on the web I might get caught out 😕

Keep going, guys. I have an hour to kill until I can watch GoT on HBOgo

He's a non believer. Have him executed.

But then I had to admit I didn't nut and possibly I was a virgin. I rather her think I made her pregnant

Is plenty of fish still active?

For real.. I hate when people on here act like they have shit to do.. if you're on reddit, your nights dry so far

Why not just tell her you didn't nut? Could have saved 50 dollars

I'm too old for round 2 unless you mean round 2 occurs 3 days later.

I tried that before except we were laying in the bed so i "fell out" and when i nutted i told her to scoot further to the headboard because my position is off. When i scooted up i used my knee to get rid of the evidence but all it did was smear a huge nut stain across the sheet. My leg hair was glued down, my sheet was dirty and when we were done she asked me what the huge wet spot was. I never mastered this technique.

/sadcringe

Just so ya know

nah it depends, once this girls was just too hot I nutted twice in 15 minutes.

doesn't help she did the legs locks on my back during missionary too. I got played.

I reach a point where, after enough rum and cokes, I won't be able to pop...It's hell if I'm not that into the girl, or I've got shit to do...45 minutes and all I want to do is nut and go to sleep, but the rum and cokes won't let me...I can't even gauge how many rum and cokes is "enough"...if I could, I'd just have 3 or 4 more and then let Mr Floppy make the excuses for me.

Why would you need to say you are a virgin , that has being to do why you didn't cum, it just happens

That can happen. I once fucked a girl who's ass was terrible but her face was beautiful. She wanted it from behind, but I felt my dick getting soft from looking at her square back ass. I flipped her over and just starred in her eyes, I thought if I can't cum and I can at least make her cum. She was looking so deep in my eyes as I was fucking her, the shit was intense. Then she started cumming and locked her legs, I could feel her pussy start pulsating, and I went over the edge. I offered her $20 for the Plan B pill and left.

I'm sure it is. My story was from about 3-4 yrs ago. Online apps were poppin

You've been banned from /sub/subaru

Yeah ok buddy calm down

Until you realize she into feet and put your toes into her pussy. Then you stuck with a feet baby for the next 18

What's confusing about that genius tactic

Yeah, well the post is funnier.

looking at her square back ass

fuckig dying

Delete this ni🅱️🅱️a

Damn girl... Its prolly cuz u Jewish

I seen a guy do it in porn. Idk the science behind it but when I buss, if I keep jacking it out, I can't stay hard and feel drained and less enthusiastic. If I leave it alone right after the point of ejaculation, I put it back in and stay hard and able to maintain my energy and still horny. Most of the time it's a situation where it's really good and I feel I'm about to buss in 3min.

This actually seems pretty confident

You can do it bro. It really helps if youre real comfortable with the chick. Do your thing, if you finish a little soon or want to give her more take off the condom and mess with her a little, have her give you a lil top while you're still like half chub (they dont even really notice or care). And when the blood starts pumpin again grab a new condom and go ham

I believe they call it a 'condom'.

Cause I just lost my virginity and didn't cum. I panicked. My lie obviously did not come from a place of rational state of mind. Damn. I felt like a J Cole song.

I thought she would be asking questions like "does that happen often?"

that leg lock is probably the feel Goku had when the humans on Earth sent him their energy to defeat Kid Buu.

Who hurt you?

yo not cool man

Dude responded twice already to comments about a random dude not cumming. Clearly aint got anything better to do

Yea that's before tinder took over the game tho

Who did this? No, who actually did this? I want to give credit where credit is due. I’m done with stealing memes. New year, new me.

Fuck whoever deleted my comment, it was funny.

Edit: Damn right you brought it back.

I've had to lie about finishing because I knew I was losing it, and didn't wanna smash her self esteem

Wait is this legit advice? Tell me more...

Probably just meets girls in real life I guess

Pof is for 6 and unders though

Or just tell her because any decent woman couldn't give less of a fuck as long as you return the favor.

Source: am woman

She was trying to get knocked up lol.

Had to get cut. Probably the most painful experience of my life. Waking up from pain cause of your night erections. You know hope many erections you get in your sleep? 3-6

Unless your 45 you can do at least 3 pops a time.

I sound 18 from one sentence? Right.. Well I'm a woman so I won't have that problem.

He won't think it's a joke when she call him and say she's pregnant. Can't just wipe that nut off and stick it back in, you gotta pee first

Lmao none of y'all can handle pussy

Aint that called ruined orgasm or some shit lol? U keep goin cos ur body thinks u aint nut lmao

...of not talking to her again.

your roommate here; please stop fucking rubbing your cum into the carpet man it fucking stinks up the place

Always nice to see a Childish Gambino reference. Sweatpants is probably my third favourite song of his.

Yea bruh that leg lock aint no joke.

No she was cool with cumming in her. I was just covering up me coming fast.

That sub breaks a man

Flat fours make a wonderful rumble

That is very true. For every dime there's like 300 uggos

How could a girl not notice a guy cum. Did he eat his cum while she wasn't looking or..

yeah have fun being stuck with a kid and gonorrhea for the next 18 years

I sure do! It's fun to speak how you want without the need for throwaway accounts.

I get decent matches on tinder but they say PoF has more thots so I might check it out if I just wanna bone.

What the hell are you on about? Niggas getting accused falsely for rape has happened for generations. It is only years after the civil rights movement that a black man wouls have even been considered innocent and worthy of a retrial, sometimes decades after incarceration. Did you not read To Kill a Mocking Bird, which covers this very happening in the trial part of the book? Or just Google 'black false rape charge', I'm sure more than enough instances can come up.

This is some MRA bullshit foh

I've done that :-/. Ex girlfriend, literal 2 pump chump. I said I cant do this and kicked her out. She hated me ever since.