Hippos can open their mouths 150 degrees!

Childhood, you missed childhood.

Imagine how many marbles he could fit in there

So can your mom

I interned as a zoo for a term during undergrad and I was able to help out with the two hippos there frequently. They were trained to stand as a specific location and rest their chin against a post so that their jugular was easy accessible should the veterinary staff need to draw blood or administer IV meds. And of course when they did this they got a treat. At the end of everyday when we would usher them inside from their daytime enclosure to their nighttime enclosure they would pass by that spot, prop their head up for a few seconds, and then open their mouth impossibly wide just like that in the hope they might get a couple of apple slices tossed in as a reward. Every single time I was amazed and their range of jaw motion!

An apple slice to a hippo must be equivalent to like a sunflower seed to us in terms of size

I mean, tbh if I could just hold out my hand and have people give me sunflower seeds at a designated time everyday i wouldn't miss it.

The rhino also got apple slices and the polar bears often got raisins. Such tiny treats for huge animals.

Couple shots of tequila and your mom opens up nicely.

Whats up with Hippos and Marbels recently ? What did i miss ?

The great Unidan once said that hippos were the most orally gifted species in the animal kingdom. Boy was he right.

I guess she's a hippo then.

Hungry hungry hippo!!!!!

Unidan was a beloved redditor that everyone knew. Sort of a celebrity. He was the friendly biologist. He would respond to all sorts of u/unidan call requests to comment on various topics from the standpoint of a field biologist, and mostly he enlightened thousands of people about all sorts of random things about mammals and birds, etc. His stuff always got upvoted, it was always paragraphs long, it was always interesting and relevant.

Well one day he got into an argument about the difference between crows and jackdaws. Unidan was technically correct in his scientific analysis, but much more importantly than that he was caught manipulating reddit's voting system. He used several alternate accounts to upvote his comments and downvote his opposition's comments. This made his comments rise and the other guy's comments hidden/ look worse. Worse than the use in this conversation, the implication that Unidan had (for a while) been using alts to direct karma towards his contributions and away from others' means that he was breaking reddit site-wide rules.

Vote manipulation gets lame articles to the front page and good articles from ever being seen. The first few upvotes matter more than any others, and Unidan was cheating for them.

The reddit admins "shadowbanned" Unidan, which means that he was banned in such a way that the people of reddit will never see his content. He can make a post or comment but we cannot see it. He can see and access his account but nobody else can. The shadowban punishment was initially a genius solution to stop robots from posting to reddit (they won't know they are banned) but has since been adopted as method-of-choice for admin bans in general.

TLDR: He broke the reddit rules by vote manipulation, so his account is shadowbanned forever.

You're eating chalk, not sunflower seeds

that's humanly impossible

It's a zany action, a crazy contraption, the fun is catching it's...

Hungry hungry hippos!

story of an only child with no friends life

Is this the new Amy Shumer special on netflix I've heard so much about?

Fahrenheit, or Celsius?

Aaaaah aaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahchooooo!!!

No. The video in this thread is actually watchable.

Made me yawn

I was thinking about Unidan earlier today. I kind of miss his unsolicited insight into all sorts of random shit.

/u/UnidanX we miss you

Makes them even more terrifying. 🙊 Goofy harbingers of death.

This post was just long enough to make me scroll to the end and verify it wasn't going to be about Mankind throwing Undertaker off Hell in a Cell in 1998 before reading it. Truly we live in the shittiest of all possible internets.

"What a strange My Fair Lady reference. Oh wait, Hungry Hungry Hippos. I guess I'm the weird one, then..."

It's always been a thing, you just grew up buddy.

You lie! Kelvin has no degrees

Playing with bubbles

He's still around. Another account though, because of association to Unidan of course. He doesn't post the bio facts anymore though, and the worst part is that you cannot still see his Unidan comment history. :(

If you send him a message at /u/UnidanX he could get back to you though. He checks sometimes.


Probably with their tongue.

Yup. Imagine shitting in the bathtub and then yawning underwater.

You mean all the strait up hippo poop soup?

Is that all it takes?

You remind me of that redditor who had never seen a potato before.

That's obtuse.

Oh fuck really? Damn I never can tell them apart...

Best comment ever

Bring some cocaine and she'll give up the pooper.

Hippos are scary.

To eat airplanes



What are you kids doing?!

What about Hobbs?

Insightful post! It was so informative I got nervous that I was read a u/shittymorph comment

Yoooooou'll get caught up in the!

Anyone know the biological/physiological reason for this? That is really wide. Wondering why they need to be able to do this.

Every tech support story distilled into one.

Look at all that undigested hay floating around.