Go big or go home!

Go big or go home!

You should start that while you're waiting to board instead of waiting on board.

110% guaranteed you match with the sexy check-in desk attendant who is on her phone between passengers and then you're stuck on the plane going hundreds of miles away kicking yourself for missing your window.

OP only posting this to let other people do the same so he has higher chances to get matches.

I see what you did there.

It's an awkward flight when the wife swipes left

Sometimes, you just gotta not board that plane, man.

Having sex in an airplane bathroom sounds terrible

It's an awkward marriage if they're both on tinder.

(Swinging not included)

have a girlfriend

Dude....

Bush league.

All you have to do is lay the flirt on thick with the least attractive flight attendant.

But still tempting just to say you've done it

yeah, or at some point have a girlfriend and fly some place

She's doing a double for a friend, but would otherwise drop things. Now you're stuck in ORD because your flight is canceled anyway. You are then running between terminals for a couple of hours because ORD. Screw ORD. Screw not boarding your plane.

🚨🚨 🚨 🚨

GIMME A FUCKIN MIC!

You know they say that all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Samoa Joe and you can see that statement is not true. See, normally if you go one on one with another wrestler, you got a 50/50 chance of winning. But I'm a genetic freak and I'm not normal! So you got a 25%, AT BEST, at beat me. Then you add Kurt Angle to the mix, your chances of winning drastic go down. See the 3 way, at Sacrifice, you got a 33 1/3 chance of winning, but I, I got a 66 and 2/3 chance of winning, because Kurt Angle KNOWS he can't beat me and he's not even gonna try!

So Samoa Joe, you take your 33 1/3 chance, minus my 25% chance and you got an 8 1/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice. But then you take my 75% chance of winning, if we was to go one on one, and then add 66 2/3 per cents, I got 141 2/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice. See Joe, the numbers don't lie, and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice.

All about the numbers.

(swinging not include)*

*For full terms and conditions have an honest and open communication with your partner about goals, fantasies and desires.

Did you guys know I had sex in an airplane with Eartha Kitt?

Population: your mom

This is the worst game of Zork ever.

I feel like this doesn't work, and won't work, for a number of reasons

The long con

That's... that's not how tinder works.

Alienates entire plane of people who have never met him in 5 minutes.

She wanted you to choose her over the plane, you failed her test.

The mile wide club?

Fucking normies

Not as terrible as sitting in coach for 5 hours.

An sped money on the 'boost' feature.

If this is the case, you are much better off without them. People who do passive-aggressive testing like this are the wrong kind of crazy in a relationship.

But if you've got a manipulative/testing fetish or low self esteem to cause you to put your partner through this kinda test, y'all need to talk and do some role play of it. That way you get that out of your system in a healthy way that doesn't jeopardize your relationship.

You must be fairly short then. I'm 6'6" and I can tell you my knees are halfway through the seat in front of me on planes.

I had this flatmate who initiated sex ~20 minutes before I had to leave to get a plane. I forced myself to stop to get on that plane, thinking we'd have other occasions.

She always refused later. I think she just wanted to torture me.

Switch to Grindr.

what kind of pasta is that

Flight attendants ain't arresting anyone. Wtf are you on about?

Awkward states from who? People who also open up tinder, stand up in their seats, go through their matches and stare directly at you?

Yeah, how would he get stares unless he's super liking all of them

https://youtu.be/msDuNZyYAIQ

() this should answer all your questions.

Whaaat? It came up organically!

I regret missing the tinder window by being married 8 years ago. And unattractive. And fat. And poor.

Pierce! Ew!

Flight attendants won't fuck you on the plane, dummy, they do it in airport hotels like everyone else so they don't lose their job.

Flirt with a passenger while your waiting to board.

If you miss your window, the aisle isn't bad either.

https://i.imgur.com/gFKsunQ

Are they:

Be attractive Don't be unattractive

have you tried getting detachable legs?

a) Who said it was busy? This might be bumfuck alabama and you're sharing the plane with 3 people including the pilot

b) I am always thinking about who I want to bone today. Even right now. Ayy bby u wan sum fuk?

What if you are but she doesn't care? Missionary forever, lights off, no eye contact, then back to your respective beds after. Don't want a divorce because you love her but can't stand the bible thumping life she grew up in.

I don't understand why people are so uncomfortable on airplanes. I always think it's going to be way worse than it is, but I usually just hunker down and get through it just fine.

I mean if nothing else maybe you'll get laid within 1 mile of where you took off

And does everyone else pull up tinder as well when they board the plane. He could swipe right on multiple people who happen to be on the flight, but if they never open tinder and swipe right on him then they'd have no way of ever knowing it happened.

You're supposed to sit naked in the bathroom with the door unlocked.

I tried, but they wouldn't let me into the US Marines.

Low effort.

The real life pro tip is always in the comments.

Sexuologist helps. That or open up your partner's mind. Make an atmosphere, share with her some porn you like. Communicate. Sex life is important.

I'd start by joining your beds. You need some more day-to-day intimacy in your relationship by the sound of what you said.

No, you don't. Stop posting idiotic falsehoods, fam.

NNNOOORRRRMMIIIEEESSS

GEEETTT OOOOUUUTTT

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Text Adventures and MUDs for life!

Mostly all the fake profiles soaking up you swipes. That said his chick named Matthew matched with me. And the photo looks a super model so I'll count that as already having a date

Genius I must say.

You forgot 3. If unattractive, be rich.

Good one

I have two problems with that plan...

It changes everything. I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have to grow a moustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. I'd have to get new friends. I'd have to get orgy friends. ... Naw, I'm not ready for it. 

/sub/squaredcircle is leaking again. I LOVE IT MAGGLE!

I hope you do friend.

/sub/me_irl

Yeah, cause when I work as a desk attendant at a busy airport, the first thing on my mind is who I want to bone today.

It seems way better than any other customer service job because less people are likely to go full-blown crazy with the TSA/police watching and their vacation on the line.

I'm sure it still happens, but the stakes are way lower throwing a tantrum in a Walmart than an airport.

I was swiping at London Heathrow on a layover and matched with a girl in the same terminal. We went and got some candy and walked around the duty free trying on hats. Unfortunately we were not on the same flight.

I feel like the quick airport meet plus in-flight bang is super ambitious but probably doable.

~~ different timeline ~~

I had sex with Eartha Kitt!

sexy check-in desk attendant

What airport do you fly out of because I haven't seen one of those. But in all fairness that must be one of the hardest jobs out there, and I'm sure "sexy" goes out the door real fast.

Nah, just order pina coladas ASAP.

Probably the people nearby who can see his phone screen moreso than the people he matches with on tinder

That blonde reporter looked like she was regretting missing those high school math classes.. and at one point looked like she felt the math wasn't right, but she didn't know enough about it to confidently object.

Can I see your ticket sir? Thank you please go through. Next please.

Jesus those people need some sort of Appreciation Day.

GIMME A FUCKIN MIC!

Uh-oh.

Better than selling your daughter for an arranged marriage

Why'd you turn her down, though? Could you not get done what needed to be done in the remaining 19 minutes?

Lol jesus fuck dude I feel so bad for you. I'm only 6'1 and it's not very comfortable.

The long con air

Because I'm 6'4 and it's impossible to be comfortable.

Never sees any of them ever again.

I'd rather have thirty camels than one daughter.

/s

Then don't fuckin ask for the pasta.

Ohhhhhh

Maybe she'll do a double with a friend...

Or both. Get the worlds most uncomfortable orgy going in the bathroom.

Somewhere there's some hot supermodel who just wants to meet a nice guy on tinder who may tip their fedoras into her heart and woo with their charming personality, only to be skipped over by skeptics.

He's being the change he wants to see in the world.

At least you haven't been eaten by a grue.

It's not that, it's when things go wrong and customers are angry. Of course now they have 'rebooking' areas and that just makes me angrier. Have to travel all the way to the end of the terminal to rebook.

It's not so bad if you stand behind her. The worst part is you need to be damn quick and reasonably quiet.

The numbers Mason, what do they mean?

Maybe she just likes torturing guys by giving them crazy, unspoken ultimatums. You can go to the interview for your dream job or we can have sex, lots of it, no holding back. However if you choose dream job I'll deny you forever.

Planes will take off with none people (left beef).

a) holy shit, planes will take off with only three people?

b) yas bby

RE

I do not regret my decision.

Doesn't matter had sex

6'4" checking in. Exit row every time, fam.

Some people know how to play the game, others know how to game the play.

..Isn't that the joke?

If he changes poor, he could be a hit