Fresh fucking pineapples

Fresh fucking pineapples

I picture an asshole editor who looks over the draft saying uh huh uh huh looks good. .....god dammit! I don't want to see pineapples, I want to see fresh. Fresh fucking pineapples, that's what people want. Change that shit to fresh, fresh fucking pineapples, and publish it. We're on a deadline here, let's go!

I'm more taken back by the deal on soda, you get 48 cans for 11 dollars and then get 6 bottles free too?!?

But buy 4 12pack of 12oz cans and get 1/2 liter 6pack of 12oz cans free.

1997 dollars.

First thing that caught my eye.

DENTIST'S HATE HIM

Edit: I stand corrected.

love him

FTFY

Im pleased to see Fucking Pineapples have started to become mainstream. For too long have they been limited to the extreme BDSM scene

Limber up and enjoy folks

Took me a minute to realize the fucking pineapples.

I actually work in the graphic design department at the newspaper company where this happened. I had a printout of it in my desk left there by the guy I replaced. Dude did it on purpose as a last act before he left.

even with the title?

On average or at cheapest? Which fucking one?

Not with that punctuation you don't.

Because it's just corn syrup, and corn syrup is the cheapest thing.

I haven't seen 12 packs in that shape for 10 years.

OPs that put the punchline in the title also like to punt dead babies, it's science.

Why is bad food so cheap :(

Good lord, thank you for this

Make the deal so confusing no one takes advantage

It's from Northern west virginia. Around where I live. The guy who made the ads quit and this was his last ad before he was gone

DENTISTS

FTFY

Im still not totally sure what the deal is there.

70% of the time it works all the time.

4 12-packs of 12oz cans leave the station going South at 35 mph, another 1/2 liter 6-pack of 12oz cans leaves 30 minutes later going South at 45 mph, after three hours of traveling which pack leads the pack?

You know what? Compared to canned pineapple, fresh fucking pineapple is the only way to go.

There are half liter bottles of pop that are sold in a six pack.

If you buy 4 of the traditional 12 pack of cans, at the price of 4 for $11, you get one of the six pack of half liter bottles for free.

Not a bad deal really.

Was this near Steubenville Ohio?  My sister showed me a grocery ad maybe a few years ago? that was like that.  I took a picture of it and I am trying to find it.  Do you remember what year/month this was?

UPDATE: Nevermind.  I found it...

I took a photo of the ad back in 2006 on my Palm Treo 700p phone (the reason why the photo quality is crap) when I was visiting my sister in Steubenville Ohio. Here it is...

http://imgur.com/fiHHDo6

Was this near Steubenville Ohio? My sister showed me a grocery ad maybe a few years ago? that was like that. I took a picture of it and I am trying to find it. Do you remember what year/month this was?

UPDATE: Nevermind. I found it...

I took a photo of the ad back in 2006 on my Palm Treo 700p phone (the reason why the photo quality is crap) when I was visiting my sister in Steubenville Ohio. Here it is...

It's maybelline

Three men who were lost in the jungle were captured by a band of thieves. The thieve king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten." The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed. The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed. The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

I imagine this guy saying it.

I imagine guy saying it.

Holy shit, Sparkle Markets on the front page? Trumbull county represent?

especially after he called the soda "pop"

Why? Go somewhere else and buy it cheaper.

Vinegar Husbands 18+ Bring ID.

Wow, that's pretty good. Just fucking confusing.

I came here to see this get posted

I can tell you there are many variables why healthy food is more expensive.

the demand overwhelms the supply

more labor for farmer when no chemicals are used

Production-oriented government subsidies reduce the overall cost of crops. In 2008, mandatory spending on farm subsidies was $7.5 billion while programs for organic and local foods only received $15 million, according to the House Appropriations Committee.

Better living conditions for livestock Higher standards for animal welfare also means more costs for organic farms. According to the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations, organic feed for cattle and other livestock can cost twice as much as conventional feed.

There are many variables those are a few. Bad food is easier to acquire, easier to mass produce for people and quicker. It's a convenience thing.

Edit: Because someone has mentioned that organic does not =healthy, I will try and broaden the scope a bit more. He's right organic does not always equal healthier food. Thanks to lobbying, Congress chooses to subsidize foods that we’re supposed to eat less of. Let's use an example of fast food burgers vs salads. Why are salads more expensive?

Of course, there are surely other reasons why burgers are cheaper than salads. These might include production costs, since harvesting apples is probably more naturally seasonal than slaughtering cows (even though both are in demand year-round). Transportation and storage costs might also play a role, as it’s probably easier to keep ground beef fresh and edible for extended periods of time, by freezing it, than cucumbers. In addition, the legislation which governs all these subsidies is a controversial farm bill. The bill provides billions of dollars in subsidies, much of which goes to huge agribusinesses producing feed crops, such as corn and soy, which are then fed to animals. By funding these crops, the government supports the production of meat and dairy products–the same products that contribute to our growing rates of obesity and chronic disease. Fruit and vegetable farmers, on the other hand, receive less than 1 percent of government subsidies.

Edit 2: Thanks for the gold!! Wow my first gold!! Didn't expect it on a comment like this.

Context? Where is this from? It looks pretty old but the pineapples cost $1.88 which is only a buck or two less than today. Then again, inflation hasn't been too bad recently.

Spot on.

And your body doesn't know the difference! It's just sugar!

Is not...

Oh, that is an incredibly bad ass way to go. If I was head of marketing for Comcast I would throw out a super bowl ad that said prostitution and drugs were A-Okay and Comcast boosted speeds for silk road equivalent websites.

http://liartownusa.tumblr.com

Maybe

I'm not a biologist or anything, but the way I see it, if my tastebuds can tell the difference, my body has told the difference.

You pay for it with insulin shots.

Especially after he called the coke "pop."

FTFH

It's ain't "soda," it's coke. They're all "cokes," but some people would rather have a Dr. Pepper or Sprite , rather than a Coke Cola. If we catch some philistine buying or ordering Pepsi, that's grounds for a lynch...err...council meeting.

*Edited for political correctness.

Try shoving some rice in there with it next time.

does that ad above say you get 48 cans of pop and 6 - 0.5L bottles for $11???

Pineapples: 3/10

Pineapples with rice: 7/10

It happened in the Weirton Daily Times (WV) about a decade ago (2006, I believe). Several people were fired - nighttime copy editors / ad department folks. My dad bought about a dozen of these when he realized they printed the fuck word.

Source: Am from here.

I shoved a pineapple up my ass once 3/10 would not recommend. On the upside my semen tasted sweet for months.

In Australia a 600ml coke is on average $3.50. At cheapest.

I use to work for a large retailer that was email and flyer crazy. The turnarounds were ridiculous and you honestly become blind to what you're working in. X SKU goes here, add visual, write bullshit copy, send it to the 'editor', who was the marketing manager rushing the shit out the door.

so. many. errors.

what's worse, was having to insert model/product code onto the flyer so staff could identify it.. it was a Microsoft product, I forget the name, but it would shorthand the product names and inadvertently create crass shit. a sofa would become like, 'Becky's Chest', or whatever the shitty brand was called.

I do not miss working client side.

this sweet propaganda video

They were referencing .

Sorry, Game Boy quality video.

One time I ate a dozen Raisen Zeta Jones and my stomach hurt real bad

Found the southerner

I'm here to speak for fresh fucking corn. 'Cuz know what? Canned corn is rubbish compared to fresh fucking corn! It's not even in the same genus, as far as I'm concerned!

At least canned pineapple bears some trivial resemblance to fresh fucking pineapple. You can't say that with corn, and keep a straight face.

Both.

I'd write you out a decent summary of coke prices, cans and bottles, milk bars to supermarkets, but since you just glossed over the outrageous price we pay for coke over my use of average and at cheapest in the same sentence, I have a feeling you don't actually care about the pricing down under.

I work for a printing company where this exact thing has happened before. Ironically.. The item actually got a huge sales boost that week because of the attention it drew.

First time I ever saw those. Very satisfying and hilarious. Thanks!

ᛏ for you.

I've learned the word 'fuck' is probably the most versatile word in the English language.

It's like the whole website is a massive audition to be a writer on Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job.

I'd hire them, if it were up to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXk9EPxZw48

NSFW

She's born with it.

Wrong!

HFCS and cane sugar are NOT biochemically identical or processed the same way by the body.

I could not figure what the fuck was going on there. It looks like a math problem

Thanks /u/NippleCrunch

Looks like another sweet deal from Apple Cabin Foods

It's funny I was picturing the exact same guy

http://liartownusa.tumblr.com amazing stuff there

Behold