Don't mind me

Don't mind me

"fuck it's not goin, I need to do the song"

Hums Empire Theme

That is the most accurate representation of war featured in a anything Star Wars related. The only way to top it is to show an AT-AT that's full of water bottles filled with piss and chewing tobacco (or the Star Wars equivalent).

Luke gripped his saber firmly and thought of his sister...

Use the force...

"searge"?

What the hell is a searge.

It sounds like a TSA stormtrooper with an odd speech impediment.

"Sorry sir but befeaure you can visit the Death Steaur we have to searge your luggish. Wait, are thosh the dreuds we're lerking fer?"

chewing chewbacco

"I can't even hit the tree!"

"Very funny, Jedi. Now can you unforce choke my dick I'm busting here"

whoa does this mean a force user could give a mean handjob without even touching you

makes u think

*edit

If a male jedi did it to a guy would it be gay even if they don't touch each other?

He sure can on a speeder bike.

Wait.. I thought thinking of your sister was the go to, no?

If you're a guy, and you're spending your time trying to think of ways to give other guys hand jobs without being gay, then you don't need to worry about it. You're already gay, so you might as well give out all the handjobs you can.

Pissing in the forest, still can't hit the tree.

Huh, I always assumed the suits were self-contained and recycled all bodily fluids into drinking water.

....oh

This is Star Trek, not Dune.

Its actually Pickles the drummer.

Chewbacco the Wookie

I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.

It's only gay if the sabers touch.

Snap...

Bear Grylls' seal of approval

Your comment made me think about it. I guess I'm gay now.

How many assholes we got on this ship?! I knew it! I'm surrounded by assholes!!!

I...ok.

Me too, i caught the gay

Burn.

Did you see anything?!?!

No sir, I didn't see you playing with your dolls!

This immediately made me think of Red vs Blue and read this in Sarge's and Simmons' and Donut's voices.

Guessing someone got confused when shortening sergeant. Serge? Sarge? Fuck it searge.

Don't you know? Storm Troopers are solar powered. That's why the premium Troopers are all black, they need more power to do their more complicated processing.

"I've been pissing in my suit for years!"

Get in the bag, nebby

Boom?

"Flavor country-[roar]"

Pew

"Congratulations! Your electroshock therapy has been scheduled for 4/24/17."

It's a cut off mid-word of the full "sergeant," it's just also spelled wrong.

Doodily doo, ding dong, doodily, doodily doo.

"I am one with the force and the force is with me....ahhh there we go...."

Chewed up, toothmarked deathsticks

I hate it when I get my Schwartz twisted

This supercharges the gay

Storm trooper outfits must be uncomfortable.

Especially the helmets. Like walking around all day with a bucket over your head.

I recently bought a stormtrooper helmet (because I'm a responsible adult, clearly).

I can tell you, it's hard as fuck to see out of them because they completely block your lower vision due to the sloping outward of the helmet in the nose/mouth region. Eg, working on a counter, looking down at a table, or the ground closer than like 15ft away means you have to tip your whole head down really severely.

I had gained an added respect for people dedicated enough to wear stuff like this for hours at a time.

The wookiepedia doesn't mention it outright, but it does say that the black bodyglove underneath the white armor is vacuum-sealed, and that troopers were expected to remain in uniform at all times.

Yes but "searge" is not part of "sergeant"

Scotty beamed me twice last night...it was wonderful.

Shit! I hate it when my Shwartz gets twisted!

Yep, you can see troopers in space in Rogue One. There's one patrolling outside of the shield station and there's a few with Vader in the empty hangar bay at the end.

You know, I've never really understood where the "Stormtrooper marksmanship academy" trope comes from. If we look at it objectively they seem to be a pretty effective force, here:

Episode 1: No troopers Episode 2: Clone troopers are instrumental in crushing the separatist movement Episode 3: Clone troopers successfully carry out Order 66 (no easy feat) Episode 4: Storm troopers can't hit heroes on Death Star (it can be deduced that they were ordered not to kill them because they wouldn't be able to track the Falcon back to the Rebel base) Episode 5: Snow Troopers successfully overrun the Rebel base at Hoth with the help of AT-ATs Episode 6: I got nothing here Episode 7: Storm Troopers neutralise a Resistance camp on Jakku and also provide Kylo with sufficient support later at Maz Kanata's castle so he can capture Rey

gorilla warfare

Thats enough, Prievate!

He is trying to pee the fire out.

"We know, Gary. That's why no one will go on patrol with you."

Særge?

Knowing a typical Stormtrooper's aim, the Sergeant is going to get a face full of piss somehow

Definitely seems worse than modern helmets. Most modern combat helmets do not encompass your head 100%. Unless those things have some kind of climate control, they probably suck.

Well that was a First Order stormtrooper, it could have been different for the Empire ones.

The majority of stormtroopers weren't trained for gorilla warfare in dense jungle and vegetation. Much like how our soldiers had problems in Vietnam against the VC. It took us a while to adapt and train properly for those conditions. The stormtroopers weren't prepared to fight against small camouflaged targets running around in the bushes and swinging from trees and attacking from in the trees. Plus the booby traps.

Although Im sure if the stormtroopers had been there for longer and had time to set up larger camps they could adapt pretty quick. But they were used to fighting human sized or larger targets they could easily see and find.

The Empire does have SF groups trained for this kind of stuff, but basic soldier didn't know what to do against a bunch of rabid teddy bears swinging around and using booby traps.

EDIT- I know I said gorilla, and not guerrilla. I just love the meme.

"I'll trade you that Bantha meat for this omelette..."

Legend has it, TK-421 is still in the shitter to this day.

If the body glove is vacuum tight, does keeping their helmet on mean they could survive a little longer in space than a normal person? I remember in the old republic their suits allowed them to do that but I'm not sure if the empire made some cuts to certain areas of their military like they did with making cheap space fighters

Explosion

...I ought to go home and rethink my life.

If you look closely there's a hiphen implying he was going to say sergeant but was cut off.

Probably because they thought if they made the game good enough a lot of people would play it. They probably saw a good ratio between money they earned from inicial sales and hype, combined with a healthy player base they really could make real money. As compared to what SWBF1 should have made. (Dont know how much money they made, but they could make much more with a real good game, a lot of poeple love star wars)

Budget cuts. Planet-sized super weapons aren't cheap.

What's the last thing to go through a scout troopers mind when he hits a tree?

His engine!

Dude, come on. This is Space: Above and Beyond

/sub/unexpectedpence

NEBBY YOU STUPID FUCKING SHIT, GET IN THE GOD DAMN BAG BEFORE I BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU

That's not how the force works

Explains why Stormtroopers miss all the time. Their head hurts.

Chewbacca does kinda look like a walking pile of chewing tobacco.

Dun dun dun dun dun dun, dun du duuuum.

Father's brother = lonestar's uncle

Uncle's nephew = 1st or 2nd cousin of lonestar

1st or 2nd cousin's cousin = 1st or 2nd or 3rd cousin twice removed of lonestar

Former roommate of 1st or 2nd or 3rd cousin twice removed = absolutely nothing

Edit: could also be the roommate of lonestar's cousin

Edit2: commenter pointed out something funny that I missed - lonestar could have been THE former roommate himself

This is why you should show your support for our troops over on /sub/empiredidnothingwrong

Yes, stormtroopers can survive in space. It's mentioned in a few books and in Rogue One they're standing in a open Hangar at the end of the movie. If you look close you'll see that the typical blue shield that acts like a wall is not there.

shakes "doot doot"

It's the unit designation for each. TB is Scout Trooper and TK is Stormtrooper.

TD is Sand Trooper!

What's wrong Colonel Sandurz.... Chicken?

Dude in episode 6 they lost to a primitive tribe of tiny furry creatures lmao

What the fuck lmao

the pics are from the new Battlefront trailer I believe.

Scout trooper is gonna need a SHARP seminar if someone sees his dick and gets offended

proceeds to miss the ground with his piss-poor piss aim

You ought to go home and rethink your life.

imagine a C130 equivalent and a flight trooper is tossing grenades out the back for shits and giggles

To be fair, TB armor is the easiest to take a piss in. Just gotta undo one strap and a zipper is right there. TK's however have to come half out of armor to take a leak.

The "special forces" trooper would be more Wash or Tex

Keep firing, assholes!!

Even the shittiest crane operators get a crane.

Only if his batallion gets a support unit attached. Integrated females don't care, they're pissing right next to you.

Welcome to Reddit

Force leads to pain. Pain leads to bleeding. Bleeding leads to embarrassment

Only those in 4, 5, and 6 count as true stormtroopers. Also, they do a decent job when in vehicles (i.e. AT-ATs). So, you have no examples of success via infantry imperial stormtroopers (usually referred to as just Stormtroopers)

This ams dildos.

My hemorrhoids say differently. I force it all the time.

This is dildos.

I really enjoyed BF1 for a few months. I couldn't be bothered to pay for the DLC however and I heard it was pretty crap. But in the beginning it was a lot of fun

Wait what....? They made SWBF2 because SWBF1 was so popular?

Turns out Coach Z fights for the Empire!

Odd though, because if I had to guess I would have pegged him as the one 'teykin' da piss, dere'.

doo doo doopa dourja pbtuhg fuck buppguhhhhh buhhhh guhhhhhhh guhhhh guhhhhhhh

unforce choke my dick I'm busting here

My sides, my fucking sides rn

It's not Battlestar Atlantis?