Claws that let you climb trees like a bear

Being in shape and having some upper body strength probably helps.

Yeah, for a start you should be at least able to rock climb.

Claws that make you the slap boxing champion of the world* FTFY

Kinda /sub/mallninjashit.... But still...... Would be so fun.....

I climb rocks all the time... the little ones in my driveway.

The pioneers used to ride those babies for miles!

***upper body strength not included

Tired of knocking out your opponent without killing them?  Tired of hurting your hand when you slap someone silly?  

VINCE OFFER HERE, WITH SLAP CLAW

? Tired of hurting your hand when you slap someone silly?

VINCE OFFER HERE, WITH SLAP CLAW

I always associate mall ninja shit with being really terrible quality materials where theres supposed to be high quality. Like blade composition. These are literally just steel claws, I dont think better steel would make them work better. They are regular ninja shit though

Ah! I actually already have these! Bought em in Japan on a school trip! They're awesome, do recommend. To actually scale a tree though, you also must be strong like bear.

Andy, Dwight says he knows zero facts about bears.

No! Jim tell him bears can climb faster than they can run.

Jim!

Damn you.

to get to the top

NERD!

And amputee bears.

When you poison the neighbor's $2800 boa and they find out, so they start chasing you with their katana. THAT is when you'll be glad you have Shuko Claws.

Exactly like a bear

I mean... Not

behind every good MallNinjaShit post is a little bit of INEEDIT

Mall ninja shit is for things that have no practical purpose. These seem like they could actually be useful for loggers.

That's pretty vague, cause anybody could climb a 5.6 while the vast majority of people can't climb a 5.13

I mean I wouldn't want to trust my whole body weight in some fresh rolled chinesium so there could be something to be said for having them made out of decent steel

It's not just a boulder...it's a rock!

In Soviet Russia, bear strong like you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXYIMp1EQYI

Name: "Traditional Shuko Bear Climbing Claws"

$14

Purchase Link: https://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/traditional-shuko-bear-climbing-claws/?scroll=y

Source Videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbDDcrZqfTM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHsiCaCFH9U

If there aren't low branches and it's a big tree, yes.

So /sub/literallyninjashit?

How to get back down

They make tree climbing gear that's way safer to use than this. They aren't really common with loggers since you don't have to climb a tree to cut it down, and arborists that need to cut a tree at the top tend to just use bucket trucks.

They aren't really common with loggers since you don't have to climb a tree to cut it down, and arborists that need to cut a tree at the top tend to just use bucket trucks.

Muscles and tree not included.

You're still using your own muscles to pull yourself up the tree, these claws just save you needing to rely on low branches being strong enough to support you as you climb. So if you can't pull your body up a few feet at a time with just your upper body strength, you'll be staying on the ground.

If you, like me, can't do a decent set of pull-ups, these are about as useful as a collection of shitty katanas.

While I want to agree that these are practical, there is no way in hell any logging company is gonna be like "alright Doug here's some bear claws and a chainsaw, git up there!"

Hey I used to have these!

Definitely wear gloves with them. They’re extremely painful otherwise

I really feel like these should be worn with full finger and hand gloves underneath or included in the product.

I bet my 11 year old would love these

IF YOU CALL WITHIN THE NEXT 15 MINUTES, YOU CAN GET A PAIR OF ELECTRIFIED BRASS KNUCKLES!

lol wut? They have tree climbing spikes for their boots and a safety harness. No way they would use this mall ninja shit.

Oddly specific

https://youtu.be/8jRTrRxamxQ

I thought that link was gonna be this. (Warning: the sound is great/terrifying)

https://www.amazon.com/Ninja-Ashiko-Foot-Spikes-Set/dp/B00D23KVZQ

$13

/sub/expected

I think I'd like some high-quality steel supporting my bodyweight while climbing a tree tall enough that I need claws to get up it.

I would imagine a vast majority of people couldn't climb a 5.10. A vast majority of climbers can't do a 5.13.

10\10 advertising

It's just like saying "you need enough lower body strength to ride a bike" like sure there's top athletes that train their life for cycling but there's also some kid with training wheels doing theoretically the same thing.

Edit: also you don't really need any upper body strength to climb, think about climbing a ladder, how much upper body strength do you use? Basically none otherwise you wouldn't even get to the top, you're supposed to climb with your legs and balance with your arms

It’s just a stupid boulder!

I love how surprised that guy is. "WTH bro all I did was hit you as hard as I can on the jaw!"

Despite always hearing otherwise, i still had it in my head that climbing a tree was a reasonable way to get away from a bear. I will now permanently scratch that off my list of ways to not die.

You mean you've never had that problem?

Why would you want to climb a tree anyway

Just don't forget to take it off before you scratch your balls.

Andy.... ah, he's too far.

Looks like the right to bear arms is really hard on the bear population

I was expecting the same gif but in reverse

** You have to be as strong as a bear.

Results may vary

What did that tree ever do to you?!

You play dead for a brown bear, fight a black bear, and just hope you never run into a polar bear.

Sometimes leaves get on my driveway and that’s why I have a Range Rover.

That doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about pioneers to dispute it.

Are trees that hard to climb with bare hands or with a normal pair of gloves?

I watched the whole thing. It drew me in...

It also helps to have a tree nearby.