Battleship USS Wisconsin towering over the streets of Norfolk, VA.

Battleship USS Wisconsin towering over the streets of Norfolk, VA.

"I drive in whatever fucking lane I feel like"

-that car

"I pay taxes on both sides of the road" - My Grandpa

Me: "Is this a parking place?"

My Dad: "We're parked here ain't we?"

USS Wisconsin is one of four Iowa-class battleships, the biggest ever built (although not the heaviest, which was Yamato class). From keel to mast top they reach 64 meters (210 ft), over 52 meters (170 ft) of which are over the surface. They are about 270 meters long, almost as long as a trebuchet can hurl 90 kg. With some interruptions they served from 1943 to 1992, longer than any other battleship. 

Even now Wisconsin is required to be kept in serviceable condition for a possible reactivation. While aircraft carriers and missiles have long replaced battleships in naval engagements, they were still used for bombardments up to 40 km inlands during the gulf war, and had enough space to mount 32 tomahawk launchers.

Here is another awesome image of Wisconsin arriving at her current berth.

USS Wisconsin is one of four Iowa-class battleships, the biggest ever built (although not the heaviest, which was Yamato class). From keel to mast top they reach 64 meters (210 ft), over 52 meters (170 ft) of which are over the surface. They are about 270 meters long, almost as long as a trebuchet can hurl 90 kg. With some interruptions they served from 1943 to 1992, longer than any other battleship.

Even now Wisconsin is required to be kept in serviceable condition for a possible reactivation. While aircraft carriers and missiles have long replaced battleships in naval engagements, they were still used for bombardments up to 40 km inlands during the gulf war, and had enough space to mount 32 tomahawk launchers.

of Wisconsin arriving at her current berth.

I was brought in to do some welding during the restoration of the USS Wisconsin and can tell you it is an absolute MONSTER! I work with an under-water welding company and we were contracted to secure and then re-secure the rivets on the underside of the ship. We were under strict orders not to alter the position of the original rivets as it might compromise her future potential military use. This was back in nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hеll in a cell, and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table.

They are about 270 meters long, almost as long as a trebuchet can hurl 90 kg.

ヾ(o✪‿✪o)シ

Fun fact -

During the Gulf war, two Iowa class battle ships played a significant role with their huge 16" guns and throwing axe missiles.

But those guns are only useful if you know where to point them.

To find their targets, they largely relied on drones.

Having had enough of the massive and accurate firepower, members of the Iraqi military surrendered to the drones, which was a historical first.

In addition, the USS Missouri was very nearly sunk (or heavily damaged) by an Iraqi missile. Moments before impact, the missile was shot down by British anti aircraft missiles.

So if you ever happen to visit the ship, which is now a museum, remember the importance of having solid allies.

Every damn time. I get drawn in and then, bam! Just like Mankind through the table.

That certainly helps put it in terms I can easily visualize.

I mean, he's technically right...

The same USS Missouri upon which the Japanese surrendered to end WW2? That's a long lifespan..

It's because he's being chased down the road by a battleship

I grew up in Virginia Beach/Norfolk and let me tell as much as I hated the jet noise at the time now I sort of miss the military presence. Going to the beach and seeing two massive aircraft carriers off in the distance. Pulling over on the highway to watch F-18s land. Dating the captain's daughter in high school and it not even being a big deal to you. Driving past Seal Team-6 HQ every morning on the bus ride to school to pick up kids who lived on base. Going to the mall and walking past a group in dress whites. Driving over an 18 mile bridge and behold, the entire carrier battle group sitting in port.

Because I grew up in it I never realized how impressive and special it was until I left.

Just about 2.6 times longer than a female cheetah can sprint at her maximum speed before she begins to measurably slow down

I hereby humbly request that the range of any military implement henceforth be measured in the number of female-cheetah-sprinting-lengths-at-maximum-speed-before-measurably-slowing-downs, or FCSLMSBMSDs, for short.

Edit: I found that the San Diego Zoo said that 1 FCSLMSBMSD is ~330 ft, which makes the length of the Wisconsin about 2.7, rather than 2.6, FCSLMSBMSDs.

For comparison:

The Minuteman III ICBM (the longest range US ICBM) is ~96,000 FCSLMSBMSDs.

The B-52 bomber has a range (although I couldn't find if this was assuming without refueling) of 140,800 FCSLMSBMSDs.

A trebuchet can launch a 90kg object at ~2.98 FCSLMSBMSDs.

I kinda wish they refit these behemoths with rail guns one day

Yes.

The ships were heavily refitted. For example, they could carry a lot of Tomahawk missiles, and fire them very quickly.

But their primary role was to use their guns for shore bombardment. If you look at a Gulf war map, you will notice it happened very close to the water. So a ship that could send a shell thirty miles could reach much of the battlefield.

There are no ships like that now, but there is a plane - the B52.

This is a great view. I was just there yesterday taking sunset pics at the pagoda (and maybe catching some Pokémon). Hello fellow Hampton Roadster.

Imagine rounding the corner and seeing it sailing down the street at you.

Technically correct, is the best kind of correct

I was the FA and B Division officer on Wisconsin, 1988-1989. FA Division ran the fire control system for the 5" guns. B Division ran the boilers. I'd say AMA, but it's after midnight.

Welcome to Norfolk

That thing looks pretty mean to begin with, imagine being in a country at war and you see that sailing towards you? Horrific.

....dating the captain's daughter....

Biggest Humblebrag ever!

Germany had a bunch of shitty plans they had no chance of doing.

Neat read! Thank you Britain for protecting one of our last battleships.

Credits: /u/ohyouresilly

I almost got one myself. I just went with a Toyota Corolla instead.

His story was riveting.

This ship come up and smack your girl's ass at the club...what do?

I just made plans for one a few feet longer than that.

My Grandfather served on the Wisconsin in the Pacific. Is it weird I feel like I have a bond to this ship?

We'll get right on that as soon as Gamilon starts launching planet bombs at us.

In theory, there's no difference between theory and practice, but in practice, there is.

You don't get me every fucking time... only every fucking time I actually care about the subject matter. Have yet another reluctant upvote.

That's not technically correct.

TIL, really neat: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Gloucester_(D96)

Gloucester served in the Gulf War in 1991 under the command of Commander (later Rear Admiral) Philip Wilcocks where her most notable action was the firing of a salvo shot of Sea Dart missiles to shoot an Iraqi Silkworm missile that was threatening the US battleship USS Missouri and allied minehunters; the first successful missile versus missile engagement at sea in combat by any Navy.[1] The ship also survived attacks from two naval mines and conducted numerous boardings using her boarding party consisting of Royal Navy and Royal Marine personnel. The ship's Lynx helicopter also engaged seven Iraqi warships.[1] She spent the longest period upthreat of any coalition warship. As a result of her endeavours, her captain (Commander Philip Wilcocks) and flight commander (Lt Cdr David Livingstone) were decorated with the Distinguished Service Cross; the operations officer and flight observer were both mentioned in Despatches. After this service Gloucester was rebranded with her nickname of "The Fighting G".

Well now that its out in the open I'll take the moment to be braggadocios (that is a word now right?) I remember her showing me pictures from her father's deployment in Iraq where he is sitting in the middle of a convoy on a big tank, surrounded by 8 other little tanks in an octagon formation and infantry walking around all sides. All there just to protect him. When she showed me this I just kind of shrugged it off "Oh cool." Now looking back it is actually pretty damn impressive.

Fun fact: You would think Seal Team-6 would be something that was somewhat secretive or at least nonchalant, but their HQ sits smack dab on the main base road with a big bold letters across the top "SEAL TEAM-6 HQ"

I've lived up and down both coasts and Norfolk has, by far, the worst drivers I've seen in my life.

Traffic is worse in the west and South Carolina has them beat in terms of sheer incompetence but Norfolk takes the cake when it comes to douchebaggery.

If a nation had such an aerial advantage that the US could not fly troops in, why would we want to stage a beach landing? The current power of aerial bombardment (and artillery in general) means that if we did not have air superiority, any landing forces would get absolutely annihilated. No amount of ship-based artillery will overcome the power of modern air warfare and the destruction it can rain down on ground forces.

/sub/trebuchetmemes

Admiral Yamamoto himself said he'd rather Japan built 10 carriers instead of the Yamato. Only a few people really realized that the battleship was effectively obsolete before WWII began.

Pronounced nah-fuk.

Wilcox: Target the missile, fire one of ours to intercept.

Ensign: But sir, nobody has ever hit a missile with another missile.

Wilcox: Good point. I suppose we'll need to commission some sort of commemorative plaque.

Shoutout to the 757!

But theoretically correct

It just rolls off the tongue.

My grandfather was the chaplain. I bet they knew each other. What a tiny world.

I'm not a fan of war... but... (in Hank Hill voice)... That there is a beautiful piece of machinery, I tell ya what.

I don't have questions but would love to hear stories and facts.

Thanks for your service!

Bah, the Yamato gunlaying and rangefinding was terrible. The US had a huge advantage with their radar setup and analog ballistic computers. Even if we ignore torpedo planes and dive bombers, tonnage and gunnage doesn't mean anything if the other guy can nail you in the middle of the night while all you can do is miss.

This is kinda a random comment but I've worked on two of the 4 Iowa class ship's over the last 10 years. I started on the Missouri in high school and summers during college and now work on the Iowa. If anyone has any questions or feels like visiting the Iowa down in the Port of LA let me know and I'll happily hook some redditors up.

I got bored in the Navy and machined this guy out of aluminum.  Waste Fraud and Abuse.....  good times http://i.imgur.com/elmgaQp.jpg http://i.imgur.com/rW4kIRj.jpg http://i.imgur.com/WWIymzg.jpg http://i.imgur.com/ziA040f.jpg http://i.imgur.com/5nhf3Gq.jpg http://i.imgur.com/C18nXRt.jpg http://i.imgur.com/4ThFqbA.jpg http://i.imgur.com/60zuAzZ.jpg

I got bored in the Navy and machined this guy out of aluminum. Waste Fraud and Abuse..... good times http://i.imgur.com/rW4kIRj.jpg http://i.imgur.com/WWIymzg.jpg http://i.imgur.com/ziA040f.jpg http://i.imgur.com/5nhf3Gq.jpg http://i.imgur.com/C18nXRt.jpg http://i.imgur.com/4ThFqbA.jpg http://i.imgur.com/60zuAzZ.jpg

Hitler was a dreamer

Fun fact, WWII germany had plans for a battleship that would have been a few feet longer than the current largest warship. Which is a floating fucking airstrip, AKA a super carrier. Also, would have had the biggest naval guns ever. I think.

The whole 64 belt through Hampton Roads is some of the worst driving in the country. It's not quite New York or LA traffic bad, but holy shit, I've been all over this country. It's fucking bad.

Population of a major port city with the highway infrastructure of a midwest city.

...I didn't know I could get an erection that fast, but it happened anyway.

"Fire control, see that dude 2k klicks from here? Fuck up his day."

BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM

One thing I wonder is if a war broke out where the need for a beach invasion was needed what would we do. Aircraft have really changed the shape of war that we haven't had the need for a large scale beach invasion like in ww2. In the event a country had the air advantage to the point that flying troops in is impossible how the US would handle it. Missiles cruisers have replaced some of the functionality of battleships in terms of shore bombardment but they have been mainly used to strike a single target every so often. In the event of a shore landing where the need for constant bombardment is need the million dollar cost of missiles would take a heavy toll in terms of cost. Artillery shells are cheap and can be fired rapidly to ensure the enemy is surpressed.

And stupidly, Japan was literally one of those people. As an ally in WWI, they were invited to the sea trial where the US and the UK tested the effectiveness of smaller and smaller bombs to see when they'd stop sinking ships. They got really small and it greatly embarrassed the Navy to the point where they essentially ignored the test. Japan, though, had just actually won a modern battleship contest against Russia and wanted to wave a big dick, so the Yamato was laid.

Further reading:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Mitchell

The Iowa Class, Wisconsin battleship in Virginia. God damn that's patriotic

Welcome to insert any city

Can't curve a laser shot around the curvature of the Earth as easily as a missile though

She's yours, I'll find a new one.

Railguns to make someone wish they never enlisted, and lasers to take down any missiles that dare to even point in its direction.

"You can't p-" "I just did!"

Wow I really love battle shops ever since I got onto the USS New Jersey BB-62. that thing felt like a maze! It made the highlight of my trip in Philly.

Here's my pic : https://imgur.com/gallery/zYEKP

In the event a country had the air advantage to the point that flying troops in is impossible how the US would handle it.

The solution is to never let that happen. The distance between the US Air Force and Navy and any of their potential enemies, hell even allies, is vast. Both in numbers and technology. The US strategy is to spend to stay on top.

KABOOM!!

Edit: I'm a Navy Vet and I thought the CWIS and 5inch cannons were loud but this is unreal. Also, a few times some of us were out smoking and unprepared for the 5 inch shooting (wake up and go outside for morning smoke w/o realizing operations were going on, kinda common sometimes). Those were loud as shit but these might make your ears bleed.

Why would it be secretive?

Would you dare to attack them?

They've been called drones for almost 100 years now.

He served as an observer/gunner in World War I in the Royal Flying Corps,[4] and in the 1920s he performed as a stunt pilot. In the early 1930s, Denny became interested in radio controlled model aeroplanes. He and his business partners formed Reginald Denny Industries and opened a model plane shop in 1934 known as Reginald Denny Hobby Shops.

He bought a plane design from Walter Righter in 1938 and began marketing it as the "Dennyplane", and a model engine called the "Dennymite".[5] In 1940, Denny and his partners won a US Army contract for their radio-controlled target drone, the OQ-2 Radioplane. They manufactured nearly fifteen thousand drones for the US Army during the Second World War. The company was purchased by Northrop in 1952.[6][7]

Marilyn Monroe was discovered working as an assembler at Radioplane. A photographer assigned by Denny's friend, Army publicist (and future US President) Captain Ronald Reagan, took several shots and persuaded her to work as a model, which was the beginning of her career.[8][9]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_unmanned_aerial_vehicles

Nor-fuck

Naw-fick

Nor-fick (my favorite)

I work with an under-water welding company

"Cool shit, this guy needs to do an ama or something"

Oh. Fuck.

First we have to figure out how a Wave Motion Gun works.

They cant, these ships don't have the powerplants needed to use the railgun systems. It would be easier to just build new vessels than to try rework the internals.

Just move, can't you see I'm texting?

Battleships last a LONG time. Russia's first battleship, the Pyotr Veliky (under various names) served for almost a century. Although roughly half of that was as a floating depot/barracks.

Could call it Z something, Zumwalt, maybe.

Shiiiiiiit. This one was Iowa class bamboozle.

Im currently sitting over night watch right next to it. For anyone in the Norfolk area the Wall that Heals is a Vietnam War memorial replica that travels the US and is currently set up outside the Nauticus Naval Museam located next to the USS Wisconsin. It is free to visit and open to the public 24hr a day untill the 24th of April. Please come out and show your support for all the service members that died or were a POW in Vietnam.

It was a very well-laid foundation that really built up to the punchline, then hammered it home with a precision strike.

~3.0666667e FCSLMSBMSDs. You broke Google's calculator.

Edit: and this is using the record-breaker as the metric. I'm not sure how many parsecs a typical, run-of-the-mill smuggler takes to complete the Kessel Run.

You became his girlfriend too

That's because you're driving with 50,000 frat boys young sailors from all over the country who just bought mustangs/lifted trucks/motorcycles.

How many FCSLMSBMSDs is the Kessel Run?

Americans be like "Thanks, HMS Gloaw-cess-terr!"

Norfolk born and bred, too. I lived at the shit end of town, right by the base. Ocean View. Remember having to stop whatever conversation you were having and wait for the aircraft to go by?

Is that the sequel to that Rhianna movie?

Must suck if you have to repaint all those boats after every little civil war or revolution...

You may say he's a dreamer But he's not the only one...

As an economist would say, "Sure it work in practice, but does it work in theory?"

Lasers one weakness remains smoke and or fog. A light mist, really.

Portsmouth here!

Naw, they only got sea lions.

This was also the British strategy for about a hundred years. Eventually someone starts catching up.

Who knew so many people from 757 were up here lol. Norfolk says hello

Keel laid and launched in Philadelphia, don't forget.

It still boggles my mind just how big and diverse of a place the US is.

Interestingly enough, Japan's problem towards the end of the war was not the lack of aircraft carriers, but the lack of trained pilots and modern airframes. Towards the Battle of the Philippine Sea (1944) the Japanese still had half a dozen carriers and converted carriers, they just had no planes so were forced to use the carriers as bait.

Yes

Freedom intensifies

Battleshops

You and your goddam rivets had me on the ropes.

I've written that story several times, but this was the first time I didn't have to check my references.

Each anchor weighs 15 tons. Here is a spec sheet on the Iowa class ships: http://www.ussnewjersey.com/hist_sts.htm