In a couple of years it'll be a muscle-bound killing machine.
And proudly fondling its balls in front of everyone.
Her balls will be majestic.
Pretty cute how it naturally knows where to go.
Nothing more Australian
I'm starting to wonder if they have a gift pack of khaki shorts and shirts they give out to all Australians upon reaching adulthood.
I feel like I was just challenged to a game of beer pong.
They spend the first few months in their pouches.
They don't sell any, you're born in them; moulded by them.
And you better tell her that all the time or she'll kick your ass with no mercy
An infant marsupial is known as a joey. Marsupials have a very short gestation period (about four to five weeks), and the joey is born in an essentially fetal state. The blind, furless, miniature newborn, the size of a jelly bean, crawls across its mother's fur to make its way into the pouch, where it latches onto a teat for food. It will not re-emerge for several months, during which time it develops fully. After this period, the joey begins to spend increasing lengths of time out of the pouch, feeding and learning survival skills. However, it returns to the pouch to sleep, and if danger threatens, it will seek refuge in its mother's pouch for safety.
Fuck me. You're not kidding.
They sell other clothes in Australia?
SUP BRUH, POUND THAT BREWSKIE AND SHOOT SOME PONG
You forget the epic journey from the cloaca to the pouch.
That's Roger from The Kangaroo Sanctuary in Alice Springs, Australia. He's more buff than the usual kangaroo. He's also a red kangaroo, the largest type of kangaroo out there.
His soft side. He tried to kickbox it after the picture though.
Edit: Bonus, here is one I met earlier this year. He had just turned 2 years old. I believe he's around 70lbs. Yes, he's wearing a diaper in case of accidents because he is out visiting. He is an indoor kangaroo though and he is also potty trained: http://imgur.com/a/oFHD9
Edit2: My uncle is from Australia and he gave me this when he came to visit: http://i.imgur.com/5DGpWkB.jpg
Declaimer: This genuine product was harvested and processed in accordance with Australian National Parks & Wildlife Service rules and regulations.
good eye might.
To understand this, imagine putting on a blindfold and sniffing your way across a shag carpet until you found a nipple just as large as you were and then thinking "I should put it in my mouth." That is how the kangaroo do.
This kind of video is exactly why I come to this sub during exam season
Kangaroos are so easy to steal
Letting him slap mine too.
SUP BRAH MATE, POUND THAT BREWSKIE FOSTER'S AND SHOOT SOME PONG
OY MATE, SLAM THAT TINNY AND LET'S GET TO SHOOTIN'
(I don't know what I'm doing, I'm a very white American and I used Google to find a slang term for beer)
I feel like he's going to eat it later. With all of his wives.
How kidnap a baby kangaroo:Have a pouch
By the time you finally wear denim you find it CONSTRICTING.
You don't even have to piss him off. They instinctively like to kickbox everything. They kickbox other males in the wild to gain alpha status for mating.
Well written, my favorite analogy from zefrank is:
Try riding a bicycle at night and picking up a moving burrito with your feet, based on the sound that it makes. That is how an owl do.
That's not bad! Alternatively:
STREWTH COBBER, DOWN THAT PINT AND GIVE IT A TOSS
Dude looks like Charles Manson.
You wouldn't download a kangaroo ...
It's pronounced "va-join-a" in Australian I believe
Except he's Australian.
Pretty sure every natural instinct in its body is screaming "if I'm not in that pouch I'm vulnerable to a brutal painful death being eaten alive by a predator".
Holy fuck, I wouldn't want to piss him off.
insinuating a convict drinks fosters, that's a bold strategy Cotton
Lol Roger is just the douchebro at the bar who is just pining for a fight.
Female kangaroos have two vaginas
This guy slaps your girl's ass, what you doin'?
I think now is a good time to tell her shes adopted.
I've been on Reddit long enough to know that you are going to get swamped with messages from Australians demanding to know where in the world you found Foster's in Australia and how nobody drinks that piss there.
because it's fucking gross.
Nah dude. I rocked at No Mercy for N64. I'll take that kangaroo OUT.
What's not good is the fact that the US got shorted on having kangaroos hopping all around the damn place. Sure we got plenty of little rabbits, bambis and trash pandas but for whatever reason the almighty and highly cute and entertaining kangaroo didn't pan out. We've got deserts and shit too u know. Sign me up for the GoFundMe that brings the Roo to the US of A. I've got a perfect tote for catching one of those adorable little guys.
Geez, I feel like I just witnessed someone tell a kid the easter bunny isn't real, but with more killing.
I've noticed as I've gotten older that how people and animals reproduce is so fucking alien it's insane. Like think about it. Sharks eat each other INSIDE their mother, humans shoot babies out of their vagina and kangaroos give birth to essentially a fetus that than must climb up their mother in order to continue gestating. Earth is fucking weird.
To numb your fear of failure with /sub/aww cuteness overload? Careful this shit is like cocaine...
EDIT: poor grammar
Brah, it's Australian for Beer. The TV told me so.
with no mercy
As in, after you beat her she's going to take the cartridge out of the system and beat you with it.
I feel like this could also lead into an Australian themed gay porn.
Khakis are popular in australia because it's a dusty country in the rural areas and mostly everywhere else. So the brown color blends in and takes the dust well to the clothing and doesnt look like stains or dirty. This is why the indian army and police exclusively wear brown khaki pants also.
Probably the most Australian -
Their torsos are so creepily human-like
This was more arousing than informative ... and it was pretty informative
Humans have two faces!
I don't think we should be eating them.
We eat him too.
Do they eat kangaroos? I was joking!
I guess it's time for me to start punching people in the face then.
I can see that, but also The Dude.
Yep. Australian here. I've seen a lot of beer consumed. Never a Fosters though.
IDK why but it really grosses me out
serious question. if roos only hop around on their legs, how do their arms get so ripped?
This is the correct answer
The khakis betray you, because they belong to me.
Kangaroos are fourth on Australia's biggest animal killers behind horses, cows and dogs.
There's a BBC nature documentary about him and what he does out there. He leads a very spartan life in a little tin shack and has to care for the joeys round the clock and he spends an awful lot of time without human contact or communication, living on very little money (donations to his little charity fund his work).
It's not for everyone.
With everything they have that try to kill them they can have kangaroos. Let them have their little joy
Does he think his reflection is a cheeky male who won't fuck off?
How do you think he got his username
Lady balls so lovely they even impress Negan.
That is really disturbing ... kangaroos are my newly found fear.
And are pretty much always pregnant.
"Everybody hath a plan until they get hit. Then, like a rat, they thop in fear and freeth." - Mike Tython
HOW CAN SHE SLAP
Santa eats us.
You made me start violently choking on my apple. Take my up vote and go.
edit: a word
ᴼᶦ ᵗʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ᵐᵉ ᵖᵒᵘᶜʰ ᵐ⁸.
The only animal in Australia that can't kill you ,yet
slapping... his... ass....?
"Everybody has a plan until they get hit. Then, like a rat, they stop in fear and freeze."Mike Tyson
"Down under" clearly needs to be somewhere in the title of that porn
As an Australian, no. That sounds like someone from New York.
He is an indoor kangaroo though and he is also potty trained: http://imgur.com/a/oFHD9
Well, today I've read that.
Keyword yet, 'cause when they get big those bastards get nasty claws on their feet.
life expectancy: + 1 day
They pick things up and put them down.