What about if you feel your hands are full when you have, say, a small apple in each hand. For you, this is more than enough to carry. But to anyone watching, you look lazy and incompetent.
They’re judging you based on what they think they know about your apples and hands. How do they know how much those apples weigh? How do they know your hands are weak and tired from holding up the heaviness of the world when nobody is looking?
They don’t know. So there’s no need to listen to them.
Yeah, y'all underestimate the lengths I'll go to to avoid being a "burden."
Them: Did you want me to get the door for you?
Me, struggling to hold four bags of groceries and not wanting to bother anyone: No thank you its fine :)
Not to mention, their judgement adds extra weight to the load.
Thank you. Thank you SO much.
I had such a shitty day today, which I’m sure was made worse by random night shifts and the time change. Really needed this today. I had messaged a friend about my troubles, but they didn’t reply. So I messaged another because of this, and they said just the right thing.
I hate to bring down the positivity of this post but there are those that would call you weak for struggling even if you don't ask for help
I have, I'll rather stand against the wall holding the boxes while opening the door than ask for help, someone usually sees my struggle and helps me, but still
Poor guy only has 6 retweets and 8 likes, let’s show him some love.
“My elbows are still free, I’ll manage it”
I don’t think anyone would mind if they see you truly struggling
Of course there are, but there are also people who will go the whole way to help you.
Maybe think of it this way: have you ever judged or shamed anyone for asking you for help? Has it ever really been a bother for you to hold the door open for someone whose hands are full? Would you judge anyone you see asking for help from someone else? We tend to get caught up in one perspective a lot, so it's important to change your point of view, especially in this kind of social anxiety situation
I feel bad now...my brother asks for help a lot (not with emotional stuff but more with workload stuff) and I always scold him and tell him he needs to learn to work harder. I eventually cave and help him, but I feel I should be nicer about it. I’ve never realized that maybe the tasks that seem easy to me may be really difficult for him :(
Just went through a tough breakup today, thank you for this. I needed it.
Hey, man. Glad I could help. It made my day a little brighter too.
Clearly this guy has never met a Finnish person.
If they’re offering to help they probably want to help! Think of it as something that will make you both happy instead of being a burden.
I have. Avoidance of being an inconvenience to others has been so deeply ingrained in my psyche that I apologize to people for calling them on the telephone. At this point, it might be easier if my entire existence was solitary.