11 Minutes

11 Minutes

A cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known lover’s spot, famous for all obscene activities. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing.

The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver’s window.

The young man lowers his window. “Uh, yes, officer?”

The cop says: “What are you doing?”

The young man says: “Well Officer, I’m reading a magazine.”

Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says: “And her, what is she doing?”

The young man shrugs: “Sir, I believe she’s knitting a pullover sweater.”

Now, the cop is totally confused.. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a Lover’s lane… and nothing obscene is happening!

The cop asks: “What’s your age, young man?”

The young man says “I’m 22, sir.”

The cop asks: “And her…what’s her age?”

The young man looks at his watch and replies:

“She’ll be 18 in 11 minutes.”

and so goes the intro for another barely legal porno movie

That was good.

gently raps on the driver’s window

 

Palms are sweaty Knees weak, arms are heavy

I'd like to see that with the 11 minutes of knitting and magazine reading left in

Maybe 11 minutes later it was.

In 11 minutes they high five and go buy lottery tickets and cigs right?

No.

With that I would only last 11 minutes

Well, they'll be done in 11 minutes and 30 second.

In my country you can be a 99 year old man and legally bang a 15 year old girl.

no they have disappointing sex.

What about 100?

Mom's paskettis

do you like basketti?

A new record boys.

I mean, without that I don't think I would ever finish.

At 100 they are CULLED

Ask your dad.

My adolescent psych teacher told us this joke earlier in the semester. Good stuff.

You're in luck because you'll be seeing it every couple of weeks.

It would be a nice gimmick if the girl really did turn 18 a few minutes in and the first few minutes are just talking to her with everyone acting like she's a virgin and is so eager to find out what sex feels like.

Thank you this is my favorite joke I've read so far

was he an adolescent, or was he teaching adolescent psych?

Yes.

We just call it porn these days.

"She'll be 18 in 11 years"

Nelson Bighetti

11 minutes and 30 seconds is actually neither too short nor too long to be a new record.

The age of consent used to be 14 in my country. It was only recently that the age of consent was bumped up slightly to 16. My country: Canada.

Are old men preying on 16 year olds? I hardly think so. It's still socially unacceptable...but nevertheless legal.

not sure that's actually possible since there's a lot of paperwork with pornos

Ahhhh just like my first time. Oh, the memories

I think OP meant they'll be done in just 30 second after the 11 enticingly anticipatory minutes have elapsed. Thus resulting in a fervid and feisty 30 second finish. Achieving this as a record though is pitiful, I think OP needs to quicken his quickie pace

If he was just a year younger, this wouldnt be an issue in some places.

New record!

[15,100)

This looks like an incantation.

dat post history doe.

It's probably still illegal. I looked it up (looking up "child porn" is sketchy as fuck, by the way), and I think it still counts. I found this:

https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/2251

Any person who employs, uses, persuades, induces, entices, or coerces any minor to engage in, or who has a minor assist any other person to engage in, or who transports any minor in or affecting interstate or foreign commerce, or in any Territory or Possession of the United States, with the intent that such minor engage in, any sexually explicit conduct for the purpose of producing any visual depiction of such conduct or for the purpose of transmitting a live visual depiction of such conduct, shall be punished as provided under subsection (e)

It's quite the paragraph, but that for sure still applies. The person would still be a minor while you're figuring out the whole "let's make a porno" thing, that I don't think it would even matter that she turns legal age before the fucking happens. You're most likely breaking the law to make it happen, and I feel like there's a good chance they'd still just consider it to be child porn anyway because of all the parts that happen before she turns 18. There's no way in hell you wouldn't end up in court over that one.

That being said, it would make for a pretty clever porno-premise.

META

ETAM

TAME

AMET

Not in this country, they don't.

Womp wompppppp.

Then carried off by the Sunset Squad Robots to the Near Death Star

What's the joke? Is it literally just that they're waiting till she's 18 so they can have legal sex? That's so... underwhelming? Am I missing something? And why 11 minutes specifically of all the times that could have been picked for said joke?

I think you mean pornogs?

Not for 11 minutes

This joke was posted 3 hrs ago... The couple must have left...

In Canada age of consent various a bit.

Under 12: Rape. Unless both persons are under 12, then it is not rape because you can not prosecute someone under twelve years of age.

12-13: Less than 2 year age difference with partner, partner can't be in a position of authority.

14-15: Less than 5 year age difference with partner, partner can't be in a position of authority.

16-17: Age difference irrelevant, partner can't be in a position of authority. Here you can more or less have any kind of sex with anyone (except authority figure) UNLESS that sex is anal sex.

18+: Position of authority clause no longer applies. Now you can have anal.

Bonus Round: 3+ ways involving anal sex of any kind are illegal 100% of the time regardless of people's age or genders.

Source: Section 159 of the Criminal Code of Canada

If I'm remembering correctly in Alberta, 16+ is legal, 18+ with no restrictions (age wise).

16-18 is legal only so long as your partner is not in a position of authority over you.

14-15 as long as your partner is less than 5 years older than you it's legal.

12-13, as long as your partner is less than 2 years older it's legal.

In my day we'd ride a stage coach to the picture house three towns over just to catch a glimpse of Barbara Von Smegley showing some ankle in the talkies. Mmmm-MMM. Worth every farthing.

You can bang as many of them as you'd like, but good luck getting 100 of them to be on board with it.

The cop joins.

What could be more disappointing than being a virgin? 😢

The setup is the bewilderment behind not engaging in sexual activity despite being in a site where it is common. The pay-off is the knowledge that they have every intention of doing so after the obstacle of legality is overcome. Extra humor comes from the irony that they are anticipating sex while performing mundane tasks such as reading and knitting.

Have you found your pengwings?

Or she's actually close to 19 and acts to be "almost 18".

If fictitious depictions of legally questionable activities were illegal, 90% of movies in existence would have to be delegalized.

No cigs in my state. All you get here is porn, responsibility, and the chance to go to big boy jail.

i like this law tbh. I dont think 16ish old teens will really be that dumb to not protect themselves, theyre smart enough to have sex with people they like. Its not like when theyre 18 it will be like dingdingding you are now a whole new person

Whoever runs the account has been doing this a lot (posting replies to threads knowing that people will click on the username)... I think they are trying to bring attention to their "services"

Quoth the officer "Nevermore."

I physically just gagged.

How about If they classify it as a documentary or reality show and go to commercials for 11 mins, comes back and asks her if she wants to do porn and sign the papers ?

So I'd tie an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time.

Spaghetti

He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready

Big magazine? Huge fucking pullover

but nevertheless legal

Technically, but not always in practice. There are exceptions.

If I'm understanding the laws of his country correctly he could bang someone as young as -67.

I'm Australian and in queensland we have the no anal until 18 law too.

The two reasons I've been told were: "Anal sex requires more prep/knowledge and is more likely to transfer STD's and cause infections(meaning it is less 'safe')"

And: "It's an old law that was designed to help confused(ie experimental) boys from getting taken advantage of."

Also heard that it had something to do with the queen wanting to not allow gay sex but I'm pretty sure that's bullshit.

Legend says she's still not 18 to this day

Why wait, it'll be back in 2 hours.

More like 11 minutes.

Did the guy shiver with antici.....

And a bottle of champagne.

P O R N O G R A P H Y

Late at night

11:49 pm

Alright, sonny.

The 17 year old is you self right?

Unfortunately not. If I ever do I'll let you know.

Why is Anal the only banned one?

to HA HA. But he keeps on phorgetting.

I'm pretty sure no one can ever take the record from Jim when Nadia went to his room.

... pation

yeah idk why people like it so much

Man, I hate when people do that ;)

The pornographs?

She's finger-painting a pullover sweater and will still be 18 in 11 minutes... What's the new joke?

So I looked into this and it turns out while their penal code says the age of consent is 13, the Children Welfare Act chapter 34 actually sets the age of consent at 18 for all prefectures in Japan.

The varying prefectures and districts can tweak the details to that but none of them allow consent at 13.

Wise choose man...wise choice

Thanks for the tip!

A Bing user among our ranks. Kill him.

That's very gross.

i believe what you're referring to is called rape

Please, Nick, eat some basketti.

Masterbait

It still isn't in almost all places in the world, including most of the US.

You fucked up the setup a little bit.

He sees a couple in a car ... Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting.

He already saw the couple, but only notices the woman after getting a closer look, as if he forgot there were two people inside while he was walking. Some versions of this joke include that the windows were all fogged up.

yeah but whats that in fahrenheit

What about the youngest???

Say it. SAY IT!

Have a Canadian friend or two. In Alberta they have 4 different ages of consent depending on the age of the partner.

I think I see a TEAM MATE somewhere, but I jsmust can't find it

Exactly. It'd be like if the federal Age of Consent in the U.S. was 13 but every state legislature made theirs at least 16. So if you want to fuck 13-year-olds, you'd do it in an unincorporated territory.

Sketti

Damn I'm tryna move there bang some COUGARS!!

No things like teacher student he means. People in positions of trust arent allowed to do that.

I looked it up and she's the one who has sex with 919 guys in 24 hours.

What about 100 ... in 11 minutes?

His palms spaghetti, knees weak arms spaghetti, there's vomit on his sweater spaghetti, mom's spaghetti.

Protip: people give you weird looks if they see you wandering around Europe with that map.

It makes sense. Along with having semi-sane age of consent, in Alberta the legal drinking age is 18 as well so you don't have that weird situation where one can vote, join the military and not be able to buy beer.