You'd think they'd underbook flights for like...say...a month. Just to lay low.
A measly $150? I'd love to see Rick from pawn stars haggle for more
Fight or flight: United Airlines edition
Go ask for $1300
Canadians apologizing for inconveniencing Washingtonians time by letting it go to overtime.
Addendum: Leafs in 6. In advance, sorry
Canadians are Savage.
Sorry, not a lipreader, but am Canadian. As far as I can tell, there was 1 humbled acceptance of a compliment, 3 "good game"s and 1 "have a good night". It was fucking ruthless.
If Canadians played hockey against the Japanese...
His buddy was like "Yo Reinaldo you're on the Jumbotron man"
Didn't learn a single thing from that minor degree in Being Stealthy
Skinny Pete just can't catch a break.
Took me 3 times to realize it's not the guy with the phone behind him that nudges him. It's the guy next to him.
/sub/atheism on suicide watch
Once upon a time in a city so divine called West Side Compton, there stood a little nigga. He was 5 foot something.
1 2 3 4 5, I am the....
keeping eye on the dream ball
This dog just had an argument with it's owner.
OWNER: You must understand I need you here, Dog.
DOG: But it's a whole 'nother year.
OWNER: Look, it's only one more season.
Dog pushes his half-eaten plate of food aside and stands.
DOG: Yeah, that's what you said last year when Beagle and Terrier left.
AUNT: Where are you going?
DOG: It looks like I'm going nowhere. I have to finish cleaning those drones.
Resigned to his fate, Dog paddles out of the room. Owner mechanically finishes his dinner.
AUNT: Honey, he can't stay here forever. Most of his friends have gone. It means so much to him.
OWNER: I'll make it up to him next year. I promise.
AUNT: Dog's just not a farmer, honey. He has too much of his father in him.
OWNER: That's what I'm afraid of.
The giant sun slowly disappears behind a distant dune range. Dog stands watching them for a few moments, then reluctantly enters the doomed entrance to the homestead.
DOG: How did my father die?
OLD WOLF: A young airport security dog named Dog Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped United Airlines hunt down and drag away all airport dogs. He betrayed and murdered your father. Now airport security dogs are all but extinct. Vader was seduced by the bark side of the force.
Enjoy the little things. Your pup knows what's up.
"All units respond to report of a fire at the Exxon station at 1453 Main St."
"10-4 dispatch, probably false report, we were just there and it was all clear. Will check it out after we get some coffee and a Mcgriddle, over."
Infinite gas hack
You must be a blast in real life.
I've worked at a gas station for six years. This has literally never happened at my store and definitely doesn't occur frequently. They were being nice to you when they said it happens that often.
It's sad that a baldfaced lie from the US President is such ho-hum news.
Trumps investigation in Hawaii.
Sean Hannity waterboarding himself.
Trump unveiling a plan to defeat ISIS.
Trump making Mexico pay for the wall...
A bunch of unfulfilled promises.
Trump also promised he'd donate $5,000,000 to charity if Obama produced a birth certificate.
I'm sure the check's been in the mail for the last couple years.
It's sad and it's scary. How can we trust literally ANYTHING he says? When he took the oath of office, what do you think that meant to him?
Even though he's (probably) pretty safe I'd imagine thats gotta be pretty scary
Yeah, probably safer than being on land, but I would only have visions of huge gaping holes opening up in the seabed and swallowing me
And then closing over you, leaving you in some dark cavern with panicked breathing and depleting oxygen.
What a great wholesome tip! I know what I'll be doing for my boyfriend tomorrow morning.
You guys are great. But to be honest, I'd love a cold towel after my shower. I take very hot showers in the morning, and a warmed up towel might make me feel a little uncomfortable.
Edit: Thank you wholesome individual who has given me gold!
Hot towels are the best thing ever. They are half the reason I go to barbers.
The other half is that I have to clear a path to my mouth every now and again.
Me too! A warm towel straight out of the dryer? So wonderful!
Coming from Drake in 2018 … SHIT.
But he already released Views... 🤔
Wow DNA and that beat switch.
I hope this starts a trend of one-word profanity album titles.
Coming from Drake in 2018 ... SHIT.
There's a theory going round on /sub/kendricklamar that there is a second part to this album that will be released on Sunday, called 'Nation' (So DamnNation would be the overall title). Check it out https://www.reddit.com/sub/KendrickLamar/comments/659sj8/second_album_coming_on_easter_this_is_ac...