2015-04-14

[SGA] The Daily now gives experience to weapons!

[SGA] The Daily now gives experience to weapons!

Not much to say, was curious so tested it out. Advanced both my primary and heavy into the next bubble.

EDIT: I intentionally did not use either weapon throughout the Daily, I waited till Sardok was dead and killed the Shrine with my already maxed secondary.

EDIT: For those that didn't know, previous to 1.1.2, Dailies did not give weapons experience, only armor experience.

I'm not sure if Strikes or Story Missions give weapon experience now, but it's likely. Public Event Packages have always given weapon experience.

EDIT: Strikes give weapon experience as well: https://www.reddit.com/sub/DestinyTheGame/comments/32nnoo/sga_the_daily_now_gives_experience_to_w...

The thoughts of a dying woman - a rant from her husband...

The thoughts of a dying woman - a rant from her husband...This is very personal - I just need to write it down, that's all...

I have watched someone die. It wasn't painful - it wasn't fast. But it was in a manner befitting a person who has lived her life in full, and appeared to have no regrets as to the choices she was given to make, and the decisions that happened.

That being said, the hardest thing for me to do - at 30 years old - is to hold the hand of my wife.

My wife is dying, you see. It isn't painful (she says), and it isn't fast. It is in a manner in which no person should have to live the rest of their lives.

My wife was the picture perfect healthy person. You know, the ones who hardly ever get sick. The person who is able to bounce back from anything thrown their direction.

After the birth of her second child, she started 'spacing out' and - VERY long story short - she found out she has a brain tumor, composed of the worst certain grade/type of Astrocytoma that will take her from us some time before said second (maybe first) child reaches kindergarten.

It is very hard to see the fear, the absolute fear of not knowing what the hell is happening inside YOUR OWN HEAD on your loved ones face. This is a person who never asks for anything, and hell, even she will tell you that her looks don't really matter to her on any given day.

But on any given day - now that the brain surgery/radiation/chemotherapy has made her bald - she will also not take her knit-with-love hat off and even enjoy being alive for a minute. The air on her head is just a reminder that she is still dying, and there isn't a thing anyone can do, I know she's self-conscious of her head.

Her lack of interest was just a start of a complete downward spiral that led to her trying to take her own life even earlier not once, but twice...

The first time she got so mad at me, she said everything she knew over the last 12+ years together to try to drive me away. I'm not going anywhere.

She tried to overdose and run from her problems, saying that she would be so much better not being a 'burden' to us. She isn't at all, quite the opposite.

This latest attempt was a doozy - it's been over a month now and I can't sleep when she is awake, knowing what's happened before.

There isn't a reason that could possibly justify wanting to end it all... or is there?

After sitting and talking with her endlessly I have learned quite a bit...

Did you know that in the mind of a person who has had a number placed on the time they have left here that time isn't a relevant issue any more? I have learned that in my wife's mind that every little thing she has been looking forward to in her future is completely invalidated by the number she was told to look forward to.

You have a year or two to live.

One to Two.

It doesn't sound so bad - I GET a year or more to do whatever, and I don't have to worry about anything after that. Fuck everyone, I'm doing my thing, right?

No.

You have to go to your Radiation.

You have to go to your Chemotherapy.

You have to see your psychologist.

You have to see your psychiatrist.

You have to see your neurologist.

You have to see your neurosurgeon.

You have to see your oncologist.

You have to take your medicine.

You have to quit driving.

You have to quit your job.

You have to lost your insurance.

You have to worry about your husband.

You have to worry about your girls.

You have to move back to a city you grew up, you worked hard to get away from.

You have to worry about paying bills.

You have to worry about paying doctors.

Shit.

Will we be able to pay bills, keep her insurance, have her with no job, have childcare, pay rent? Nope. But I'll do what I can.

And through all of this, she says the hardest thing is you have to still 'be yourself' because everyone is expecting you to be normal.

She says she isn't herself any more. She's different in a bad way and doesn't want to disappoint everyone.

This is a hard thing for me to understand... disappoint?!

She says the biggest disappointment would be for our girls to "always see her as a sick person, and not the mom she hoped to be"...!

:'(

If I was dying sooner than I thought I am not sure I would worry about disappointing anyone, right?

No.

I would.

Will I be able to keep up my facade and pretend to be someone I used to be, but am not any more?

There are so many things that my wife wanted to do, so many things she WANTS to do but can't.

If a person is dying of something that WILL kill them, the least they should be able to do is drink.

Medicine manufacturers, you hear this?

My. Wife. Deserves. A. Rum. And. Coke.

She does!

I have so much respect for her - to wake up and get out of bed - KNOWING - that she may not be able to do that simple task next month, year or what not...

I digress, too much talking...

I have so much more to say on this subject, but don't know how to type it so it doesn't sound like the jumbled mess up there^

Back to the beginning:

The hardest thing for me to do - at 30 years old - is to hold the hand of my wife.

I hug her.

I kiss her.

I go in to her room while she's sleeping (and I'm working from home) and lay with her just to hear her breathing.

Her breath is life.

Her life is still hers.

She needs to do NOTHING.

I would like her to understand what her breathing means to me, but she is much more concerned with the non-breath coming in her future to understand what it means to everyone supporting her.

TL;DR - There's a person ranting about his dying wife up there ==> it sucks...

Post Script: There isn't a resource for a dying person to get help with bills/childcare/rent/insurance/medicine/no job if you are middle income. We would be better off having ZERO income and being homeless than me making enough to barely support the family WITH the wife working in a 'normal' month. Someone needs to start a 'Last Good Years' fund.

*I sincerely apologize for the above, it's my way of venting and not letting it drive me up a fucking wall. I hope someone understands. . .

Edit: To answer questions

The wife has the support of quite a large family, and although they did fundraise locally and we have a gofundme thingy (which costs a bit to use), unless you've been through something like this, most people can't quite grasp that the loss of a job + loss of good insurance + a ton of 'new' bills + chemo & other medicines adds up to a CRAP TON of money. I'm not here asking for anything, just trying to give a different perspective on something we've all seen in the news or heard of in one way or another...

Rule 6 will be followed unless mods disregard, I didn't come here to beg (it's not in my nature)

Although the chemotherapy isn't 'mandatory', it also can't hurt. Unlike the 'old' chemo, this is a pill or two she takes daily for 5 days, then takes the rest of the 28 days off. She's half way through the 6 month round now, and after that she'll most likely be on 'observation' only. As long as it's not rapidly growing, that's good news during the observation period! :) Because she is so strong, even the current way stronger dose only makes her mildly more tired, otherwise she's mostly normal. Even with her front left lobe completely removed! :o

My way of 'venting' is to write something like this every now and again. I am not necessarily looking for 'support' as much as putting it in black and white does clear my mind quite a bit. There is a ton happening, making a post like this helps (I don't facebook thing, it's all positive quote B.S. and horrible advertising, not my cup-o-tea)

Thank you to every single person for such amazing support. I came here to vent, rant, whine and complain - for each of you to support such behavior makes me ashamed I approach writing in this way, but in the same hand makes me glad that we are supported by such a strong bond in many ways through this - MY rfamily - THANK YOU ALL

(Spoilers All) The Importance of Winterfell, and a theory of the Great Other.

(Spoilers All) The Importance of Winterfell, and a theory of the Great Other.

This is my first time posting a serious thread, so here goes.

This was what led to this theory.

The Norse god of winter is Höðr. In his youth, a stableboy named Walder visited the crypts beneath Winterfell, and came out only able to say a single word. Since then, that word became his name.

The Red Priests of R'hllor say there are only two divine entities. The Lord of Light, and the Great Other, whose name is never to be uttered. What if that name was all that poor Walder has been able to say since he met it in the crypts beneath Winterfell.

Hodor. Hodor is the Great Other. Hodor is Winter.

Winterfell

No one ever talks about Winterfell, but I believe that it's very important, almost as important as the Wall. Both of them were built by Bran the Builder, however, Winterfell was built only as a single keep. The Maesters noted that most of the actual castle was added in later, and that the ground on which it was built was never leveled. Bran had Giants and Children of the Forest helping him, so why only build a single structure when he could have built something monstrous, like the Wall. It's because he used all the help to build the part of Winterfell most inhabitants never saw. He built what would later become the crypts.

The Crypts

The crypts are much more expansive than the above ground structures, and house the old Stark kings. Note: The deeper you go, the older the tombs. Which means that the crypts were dug out to a great depth when they were first put into use. Most crypts do the opposite, they are expanded as more people die. This is where Bran needed all of the help with building Winterfell. We don't know how deep the crypts go. What we do know is that Jon would have dreams about them. Nightmares that he shared with Sam. This was way back in the first book.

Somehow I know I have to go down there, but I don't want to. I'm afraid of what might be waiting for me.

The Others and the Great Other

The Red Priests of R'hllor say that the Antithesis of the Lord of Light is the Great Other. He is cold, he is death, he is winter. He is also most likely the god of winter and the god of the White Walkers, who freeze the air around them.

Winterfell's Name

Winterfell is as old as another castle: Storm's End, whose name holds significance because of its purpose. It was meant to withstand the storms that killed the family of the First Storm King, who built it with help from the magic of the Children of the Forest. Melisandre confirms this when speaking with Davos.

This Storm's End is an old place. There are spells woven into the stones. Dark walls that no shadow can pass – ancient, forgotten, yet still in place

So this leads us to believe that Winterfell's name is also significant. That the magic it was infused with also has a purpose, and just like Storm's End's name gives us information on its creation and purpose, so too does Winterfell.

The Long Night, the winter that lasted a generation, when the Others first came was ended at the Battle for the Dawn. At the end of this battle the Long Night ended, and so too did the winter. So presuming that the Red Priests are correct, and that the Great Other is the god of the Others and caused the Long Night, the Winter that lasted a generation, then It was defeated in the Battle for the Dawn. Winter was defeated. Winter fell. And on that spot, Bran the Builder dug a crypt, and built a keep with enchantments to hold the evil that is the Great Other within. The crypt was watched over and filled with his descendants, all who were laid to rest with iron swords in their hands to keep the evil spirits at bay(AGoT ch4).

The Wall was meant to keep the Others OUT. Winterfell was meant to keep the Great Other IN. The Old Stark Kings were buried there because they were descendants of Bran, and as we all know, there is power in blood. Blood magic was said to be the strongest and most terrible of all...

Now we know why there must always be a Stark in Winterfell.

But one day, a boy descended from a southern knight went down into the deepest levels of the crypts, and came out changed. Maybe it was something he saw that changed him, or maybe it's because he brought something out with him. After all, only Starks are allowed into the Crypts; Bran said so to Rickon when he brought the Walders down there. Now, Bran is a little boy, but GRRM has used dialogue to leave hints to the readers directly before.

Walder has been traveling north, going as far as the caverns of the Children of the Forest. The caverns that no Wight can enter; that no Wight is supposed to be able to enter. But a Demon God hidden beneath the skin of a man? Its worth some thought.

That's it for now. All of this was pulled up with information from A Wiki of Ice and Fire

Edits

Edit: I should clarify that Walder is not the Great Other, but rather is being controlled by him. Hodor is the Great Other that Walder encountered, and who is currently Warged into him.

Edit: /u/Aiko17 found an important piece of evidence for this theory from CH Jon XI, ASoS

The skinchanger was grey-faced, round-shouldered, and bald, a mouse of a man with a wolfling’s eyes. “Once a horse is broken to the saddle, any man can mount him,” he said in a soft voice. “Once a beast’s been joined to a man, any skinchanger can slip inside and ride him. Orell was withering inside his feathers, so I took the eagle for my own. But the joining works both ways, warg. Orell lives inside me now, whispering how much he hates you. And I can soar above the Wall, and see with eagle eyes.”

Edit: /u/rebeleagle made a good point about this theory. When Bran warged into Hodor, there was always part of his mind that he couldn't access. I believe this part is where the Great Other is hiding itself. Additionally, Hodor was freaked out by dragonglass while with Bran.

Edit: Small clarifications and better formatting.

Try one of these subthreads