Me [21 F] with my b/f [22 M] 2 years, he is threatening to breakup over me wanting to be cam girl (update)
I read everyone's thoughts on the subject and contrary to what some of you thought I did not have my mind made up prior to coming on.
It took me hours of soul searching and honestly getting angry at some posters but eventually the message sunk in. He wasn't being manipulative at all, he was just telling me what he could not accept.
Honestly and I know this sounds dumb but I just thought that if I wasn't with someone in person it wasn't cheating but after thinking about it for awhile I came to the realization that men are visual creatures and he is no different. So me allowing other guys to visualize would be cheating to him.
I never once entered into this with the idea of hurting or losing him.
I called him today and asked him to come over and I just laid it all out to him. I had all of my bills on the kitchen table and showed him my check stubs and then I did exactly what another poster in my previous thread said to do. I just asked him what he would do.
He went through all of my bills and he obviously had no idea how little money I was making at my jobs and after a short time he threw his hands up and apologized for not understanding how bad my situation was.
He said it still did not mean he would be okay with me doing the cam stuff but he said that he was going to help me get through this.
Even though I told him I didn't want him to feel like he had to he said he is going to cover the cost of what I can't make on my rent till December, which we then are going to move in together.
He then went through my credit cards and somehow figured out a way to transfer balances from two high interest cards to one that had a lower interest which in the long run should save me money. He then told me I needed to cancel the other two and although it hurt I knew it was the right thing so we did it.
He just went home and honestly I now feel like the worlds biggest jackass. To think less than 24 hours ago I was contemplating throwing this all away for no good reason. I honestly had to drink a little after he left to calm my nerves because I almost made a life altering decision that would have been a huge mistake.
So thank you reddit for the tough love. In this case I needed to hear it.
I still have to work on the job market thing but at least this gets me out of the immediate crisis.
EDIT: I have been overwhelmed by the responses to this post, honestly today has been like a whole new beginning for me. I wanted to address my financial situation for a minute because a lot of people have been asking both on her and sending me p.m.'s
As you can guess I do not have any college education. Simply put my family never saved any money for me to go. Honestly unless I had a plan to go to school I would rather not get student loan debt without having some long term career goal in mind.
When I moved out here I had a job. Maybe not the best of jobs in the world but is was steady work with benefits. It was factory work which can be dull but at the end of the day it paid the bills. The factory moved its operation to south america about a year and a half ago and since that time I have worked for several manpower type company's that will get you 20 hours a week if you are lucky. Also I have waited tables but honestly the jobs I've been able to get doing that have limited hours as well.
Right now I am waiting tables working the afternoon shift, which sadly is the slowest time of the day. So I don't have a lot of customers.
I am on the on call list for a manpower company and that means that hopefully in the next couple of weeks they will call me in for some work.
I signed my lease on my apartment when I had the factory job and paying the rent was not even an issue.
tl;dr: Came to my senses, b/f is unbelievable and now I feel bad that I even considered this.
I recently discovered this sub and I am hooked! I love all the good and even bad stories because I just laugh at how crazy people are. Here's one of my own.
I worked as a cashier at a grocery store and for the most part enjoyed it. People made small talk and were typically polite. I knew most of the regulars by name.
There was one Asian lady who came in quite frequently with her husband who was in a wheelchair. He seemed like a grump and she was a bit eccentric - probably 40's, pink hair, hello kitty stuff, they were an interesting couple but always seemed to get along. I mentioned she was Asian because sometimes he would have to decipher what she was saying or correct her English a bit.
Well one day she comes in and buys a ton of the pork on sale. I asked her what it was all for and really only understood 'dumplings' but she was excitedly saying something else. I couldn't quite catch it, smiled and nodded and sent her on her way.
A few hours later she returns, with her husband and a large to go box, seeks me out and really excitedly hands me the box. I was pretty confused and her husband explained that she really wanted me to try her amazing dumplings because I was so nice to her all the time.
Well, they were amazing and pretty much every time I saw her after that she had a small container of dumplings just for me. She always managed to catch me before a break or lunch, which was awesome! She was really sad when I told her I was moving on to a new job after about a year and she made sure to bring me some extra dumplings the last time she saw me.
EDIT: I'm glad you all seem to really enjoy this story :) I'll have a few more to come, but they'll be the crazy type.